Category Archives: BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Playing in the swamp

If you’ve read here long enough you’ve probably seen Brooke Shaden‘s work because it’s the strange, whimsical and macabre photography that goes so well with some of my darker writing. She’s magic.

what moves us

experiencing space


And today she’s coming to Texas so she can photograph me in a swamp.  It’s possible I’ll be eaten by alligators, but – in fairness – that’s probably a really fascinating way to die, and knowing Brooke she’ll probably get some awesomely disturbing  photos out of it.  I give you full permission to look at any death photos that might result, unless I look really fat, in which case just keep in mind that I’m retaining water and also that alligator attacks cause swelling.  Probably.

In other (non-alligator) news, earlier this week my sweet baby niece had her appendix explode in her because apparently she wants to be just like her aunt.  I informed her that it was my gallbladder that exploded inside of me but she didn’t care because she’s on a lot of morphine.  She’s recovering and is currently smothered in stuffed animals but if you’d like to send her happy thoughts and prayers, that would be lovely.  Also, if you’d like to send entertaining websites, videos, etc. to my sister who will be stuck in a hospital room for the next week (with significantly less morphine) you can leave links in the comments.  If it made you laugh your ass off or was so fascinating you couldn’t stop reading, please share it.

I’ll start:  Fascinating, hilarious, awesome.

PS. If I do die I formally bequeath my appendix to my niece.  Mine is the (so far) non-exploding kind.  You can never have too many.

PPS.  Just talked to my sister.  Apparently you can have too many.  So instead I leave my niece my appendix, but not to be inserted into her body.  Instead  I’ll just have my dad tan it in his taxidermy shop so she can use it as a little coin purse.  Everyone needs a coin purse.

Either I’m getting stupider or movies are getting more complicated. It could be both.

I am a giant fan of psychological terror, which is weird because  you’d think someone with anxiety disorder wouldn’t be able to watch it.  I actually really enjoy it, although I absolutely cannot watch dramas because they freak my shit out.  I suspect it’s because I know that zombies and ghosts and demonic chainsaws aren’t something I’m necessarily going to have to worry about in real life so it lets me purge some of that nervous energy in a way that I can separate from my real worries.  Put something on tv about kidnapping or guns or cops or terrible things that might actually happen in real life and I run for the Xanax.  I even had a massive unexpected trigger from the second season of Sherlock, which was so bad I can’t bring myself to watch the latest season even though I adore that damn show.  It makes no sense, but it is what it is and I adore a good horror flick that makes me think.  Or even a bad horror flick that makes me think.

Last week I watched WE ARE WHAT WE ARE and I was so confused at the end I had to go on Facebook to find someone to talk through the symbolism with me.  Turns out, no one really had a full understanding but it was fascinating to see all the different perspectives, including one I hadn’t even considered but which I now think might be entirely right.  You can go here to read the thread if you’ve seen the movie.

A lot of people said that they too were the only ones in their house who would watch horror and many suggested we start a horror discussion group where we all watch a movie (preferably on Netflix since most of us have it) at the same time and then discuss it.  I thought that was a very good idea for people who were more organized than me, but then this weekend I watched Devil’s Pass and ended up all over the internet looking for more information and then today I took a break from writing to watch what I thought was going to be a simple zombie movie but ended with me having to research quantum theory (Thanks, Pontypool).  In all three situations I ended with one simple question…”BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?”

Also, I don’t have a ton of time to devote to watching horror so I’d love it if people who liked the same kind of horror as I do could give me recommendations because it sucks to waste the two hours a week you might have alone on a shitty movie.  This is why I think this needs to happen.  We need to have a “BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?” club.  Supernatural horror, twist endings, scary movies you have to watch twice to get all the meanings, cannibal movies that I’m probably reading too much into, foreign horror that you don’t quite understand, remade horror that never should have been remade, and classics that withstood time or should that be burned immediately.

Come play with us.

Come play with us.

I totally want to do this.  But I’m also really busy with my book so I need to find a good way of doing it.  We could do it on  twitter and live-tweet while we watch, but that really puts a lot of spoilers out there.  We could do it here and people could comment if it isn’t too massive (which it probably wouldn’t be since it’s a really specific genre lots of people hate).  Or we could do it on my Facebook page and that way you can vote up good comments.  Or I could just shut up and watch this shit myself and remember that IT’S JUST A DAMN MOVIE AND DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN ANYTHING (as Victor so often reminds me).  Thoughts?  Suggestions for good horror that leaves you thinking about it for days afterward?

(UPDATED: March 4th ~ WE ARE NOT ALONE.  A few hundred people are in, so I think this needs to happen.  But I don’t know how at the moment because I’m working under deadline so I’ll get my shit finished and then figure out the best way to do it.  I love you people.  Never change.)