Good Luck Satan

Yesterday I went to a thrift store and I saw an old hand-embroidered tablecloth and I thought, Does that say “GOOD LUCK SATAN”? Then I looked closer and realized that no…no it doesn’t say that. It actually says “GOOD LUCK ON SATURN”.  Which makes…slightly more sense? Then I unfolded it and realized it says: “GOODContinue reading “Good Luck Satan”

Let me be frank.

This week I spoke at frank in Florida and it was lovely.  Click here to see the glorious magnificence of my hotel room.  I highly recommend checking out all of the speeches but if you have 30 minutes and want to see mine you can check it out here.  You have to fast-forward to the endContinue reading “Let me be frank.”

What are poopers?

I’ve heard about people on TV doing poppers but I didn’t know what they are, so I mentioned them to a friend and he was like, “Poppers.  Yeah.  They relax your butthole”.   I was pretty sure he was just fucking with me but he’s usually pretty reliable so I decided to check the internet.  Then Google was, “Poppers?Continue reading “What are poopers?”

The things you don’t know might just bite you in the…well, not the ass, exactly.

Last week I was discussing the taint with my friends (as you do) and wondered aloud how that part of your body even got a name and one of my friends was like, “Seriously?  Because it t’aint your butthole and it t’aint your genitals.”  And I just sat there with my mind blown because I HAD NO IDEA. ThisContinue reading “The things you don’t know might just bite you in the…well, not the ass, exactly.”

Playing in the swamp

If you’ve read here long enough you’ve probably seen Brooke Shaden‘s work because it’s the strange, whimsical and macabre photography that goes so well with some of my darker writing. She’s magic. [protected-iframe id=”829b9785b02c4b8ef87ca35e2b6d8275-58006636-1561224″ info=”” width=”500″ height=”500″ frameborder=”0″] And today she’s coming to Texas so she can photograph me in a swamp.  It’s possible I’ll beContinue reading “Playing in the swamp”

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