conversations – Page 2

And that's why I don't use the garbage disposal

me: I just got an email about buying fake followers on twitter. I didn’t even know that was a thing. Why would anyone want that? Victor: You’re asking me to explain why twitter doesn’t make sense? me: It’s like paying for imaginary friends who don’t even like you. Victor: We should totally start that business.Continue reading “And that's why I don't use the garbage disposal”

Robot tigers or Robobcats? I’m leaning toward the latter simply because they’d be easier to put in your carry-on luggage.

Victor: One day I’m going to finish my robot tigers and we will rule the world. me: It’d be easier if you just took over the world with real tigers. Victor: Robot tigers are scarier than real tigers. me: No. Real tigers are scarier because they’re unpredictable. Victor: My robot tigers have a random setting.Continue reading “Robot tigers or Robobcats? I’m leaning toward the latter simply because they’d be easier to put in your carry-on luggage.”

God and Jesus. It’s like when your parents get on Facebook.

On the way home from our vacation/hospital-stay, Victor and I ended up traveling with a very well-meaning man who wouldn’t stop talking about how God put me in the hospital on purpose because apparently He hates me. Stranger: Well, God doesn’t close a door without opening a window. Victor: Well that explains why our electricContinue reading “God and Jesus. It’s like when your parents get on Facebook.”

AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD

Actual conversation with my husband, as we were driving down a Texas back-road yesterday: me: OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT? Victor: What? me: You need to stop the car so I can get out, BECAUSE I JUST SAW A BEAR EATING GRASS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. Victor: Okay, I don’t even knowContinue reading “AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD”

It kind of feels like a hollow victory

Conversation with Victor in the car… Victor: You never talk to me while I’m driving. You just play on your phone. me: Oh. I was just thinking that my friend M.is amazing, but she can’t see anything other than her flaws. I wish I could make her see all the awesomeness inside of her. She’sContinue reading “It kind of feels like a hollow victory”

Victor ruins everything and also probably hates America

Conversation I had with Victor after I decided we needed to start having game night… me: I’m signing us up for sign language classes so we’ll be really good at charades on game night. Victor: First off, I don’t do “game night”. Secondly, that’s not how charades works. me: I’m pretty sure it is, butContinue reading “Victor ruins everything and also probably hates America”