On a positive note, they’ll probably never ask to borrow our axe.

Actual conversation I had with my elderly neighbors the 6th time in a row that they’ve unexpectedly dropped by to meet Victor and I’ve had to tell them that he’s out of town again: me: I swear to God he really exists. Them:  Oh, we believe you. me:  You probably think I’ve chopped him upContinue reading “On a positive note, they’ll probably never ask to borrow our axe.”

UPDATED: My new year’s resolution is to get you to stop asking me about my new year’s resolutions.

People keep asking me what my New Year’s resolutions are and I tell them that I don’t have any and then they get all pissy because they assume that I think I don’t need to change but it’s really just that I’m too bored with myself to invest any more time thinking about me, andContinue reading “UPDATED: My new year’s resolution is to get you to stop asking me about my new year’s resolutions.”

Who the fuck has never heard of a chalupa? (Updated. Now with more apologies.)

I wrote this post weeks ago but then I got distracted and never published it and now I can’t remember the ending but I’m super-hurty from an arthritis flair-up so I’m posting it like it really all happened yesterday.  I am the worst blogger ever. So yesterday I spent the day with Maile, Rachel, LauraContinue reading “Who the fuck has never heard of a chalupa? (Updated. Now with more apologies.)”

The Walking Dead is a terrible documentary. (Disclaimer: if you’re British, replace “suspenders” with “braces”. Otherwise this will make even less sense than usual.)

Conversation with Victor after watching the last episode of The Walking Dead: Victor:  Meh.  Needs more zombies. me:  Right? Plus, it’s entirely unrealistic because all of their zombies are still wearing pants.  In real life there’d be zombie junk everywhere. Victor:  Um…what? me:  Think about how many times a day you have to pull outContinue reading “The Walking Dead is a terrible documentary. (Disclaimer: if you’re British, replace “suspenders” with “braces”. Otherwise this will make even less sense than usual.)”

Spoiler alert: There aren’t any happy books about the holocaust

Conversation with Victor at the resale bookstore: Victor:  You are not allowed to buy that book. me:  The fuck I’m not. Victor:  You’re depressed enough as it is.  Go pick out something happy. me:  It’s a comic book, for God’s sake. Victor:  It’s a comic book about the holocaust. me:  Yes, but all the charactersContinue reading “Spoiler alert: There aren’t any happy books about the holocaust”

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