terrible titles – Page 4

UPDATED: If I get one more press-release about baby wipes I’m going to stab someone in the face

Actual email I received (which is almost identical to a dozen emails I’ve been sent by other companies this week): Good Afternoon, I wanted to share with you these new video from GM that show why the 2010 Chevy Equinox is one of the most family-friendly and technologically advanced vehicles on the road. Watch asContinue reading “UPDATED: If I get one more press-release about baby wipes I’m going to stab someone in the face”

Apparently I use a lot of words uncorrectly.

Conversation between me and my husband: me: This girl on my Ask the Bloggess column spelled “lamblasted” wrong. Victor: What? me: Lamblasted. You know? Like when someone verbally stabs you? She spelled it “lambasted“. Victor: That’s because it is spelled “lambasted”. me: No. I’m pretty sure it’s “lamblasted”. Like, you got blasted with lamb. That’s howContinue reading “Apparently I use a lot of words uncorrectly.”

Japan. Part 1 of I-don’t-even-know-how-long-this-will-be

I just got back from Japan day before yesterday and my head is mush but if I don’t write about Japan now I’ll just forget to because that’s kind of what I do so I’m going to just retype the stuff I wrote in my journal. It’s probably not going to be even more confusingContinue reading “Japan. Part 1 of I-don’t-even-know-how-long-this-will-be”

Sue me. I’m awesome.

So this weekend I leave for Japan. “Why?” you ask? Because it’s there. And also because I got drunk one night and Victor asked me if I’d go to Japan with him and apparently I said yes. This is what happens when you get drunk around Victor. You wake up in the morning and needContinue reading “Sue me. I’m awesome.”

UPDATED! An open letter to the King of Germany who might actually only be a Prince. I didn’t really research it. But we’re at war now so you’ll probably hear about it on the news.

Dear Mr. King of Germany: It has been brought to my attention that your daughter is either impersonating me or mocking me in her royal portrait. Exhibit A: I’ve been rockin’ this look for years so I can only assume this is an act of aggression on her part. That’s why this morning I declaredContinue reading “UPDATED! An open letter to the King of Germany who might actually only be a Prince. I didn’t really research it. But we’re at war now so you’ll probably hear about it on the news.”

Updated: Not all of you are assholes

Warning: You shouldn’t read this because I’m on a lot of drugs and am dangerously unstable. Not really much more than normal but still, *totally* dangerous and too high to use apostrophes correctly. This post is a fucking nightmare. Sometimes when I’m on twitter I forget that I’m looking at the home page and IContinue reading “Updated: Not all of you are assholes”