I may have stepped over the line here.

October 15, 2008

in I am totally overrated,Posts that will get me hate mail,stuff better left unpublished

I just read that today is Blog Action Day and thousands of bloggers around the world are coming together to do…stuff.  I don’t know the details because I got kinda bored and started downloading p0rn.  Did you know that there are entire sites devoted to amputee fetishes?  And even weirder, most of the pictures don’t even have real amputees, and the fully-limbed models are clearly photo-shopped by horrifically untalented people.  Like, here’s a hint:  Maybe if you’re going photo-shop an amputated stump onto someone maybe it should be someone who isn’t already famous for having legs, like Angelina Jolie.  Not that she’s famous for having legs but she’s famous and I think we’d all hear about it if she lost a limb, photo-shoppers.  A willing-suspension-of-disbelief can only get you so far.  Like maybe you could pick someone who’s been out of the lime-light for awhile, like Tara Reid or Barbara Bush.   I mean, I’m not personally into the whole amputee thing but that doesn’t mean the sick freaks who do don’t have the right to quality amputee p0rn.  It’s called compassion.  I have it. 
  
Okay, I just went to the Blog Action Day site and apparently your post is supposed to be about poverty and not about the importance of quality amputee photo-shopping, which seems a little closed-minded for an organization that’s supposed to be about helping people.  But fine, here’s a video about water buffaloes that is awesome and is full of poverty and made me cry and has very little to do with amputees.  And by “very little” I mean “pretty much not at all”.  Unless maybe the camera man is an amputee.  Which is entirely possible because those people can do anything. 

PS.  I just saw that the Blog Action Day website is highighting some of the best posts out there.  I will be shocked if this one doesn’t make the cut ask them to remove all references to their organization from my blog.

Comment of the day: Wasn’t Hemingway’s first book all about amputee porn — “A Farewell to Arms.” ~ Always Home and Uncool

{ 3 trackbacks }

Duchess Jane
October 15, 2008 at 10:07 am
| Baby Boomer Going Like Sixty
October 15, 2008 at 6:17 pm
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November 12, 2008 at 10:13 pm

{ 116 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mahala October 15, 2008 at 7:11 am

I never know about the special bloggy holidays and crap. Do they have one for blogging about festing boils on your butt? Cuz like.. I could totally participate in that.

Mahala’s last blog post..Buzz Kills, Mystic Thrills and Trick or Treating for Grown Ups

2 Sprite's Keeper October 15, 2008 at 7:11 am

Line crossed and somehow straddled. How do you DO that?

Sprite’s Keeper’s last blog post..Sick Day

3 Kyla October 15, 2008 at 7:21 am

I don’t think you can even see the line anymore. ;) That’s why I love you.

Kyla’s last blog post..Score 1 for the Internets

4 Kylie October 15, 2008 at 7:22 am

Dude, I cannot believe I’m number 3 (or 4 whatever, I’m one of the first!) on this post.

Okay, now what was the post about?

Kylie’s last blog post..Tossing Cookies

5 Marinka October 15, 2008 at 7:27 am

I totally would not be surprised if Angelina Jolie had a stump or a dozen.

Marinka’s last blog post..My Vagina, My Saks Fifth Avenue Window

6 Katie October 15, 2008 at 7:29 am

I just watched that video. Can I buy a round of Water Buffaloes for all the poor folks who could use one? Also, I think if you are an amputee and you have to resort to pimping out your severed limb for cash, you don’t get a Water Buffalo, but maybe a cane?

7 furiousball October 15, 2008 at 7:29 am

Blog Action Day sounds about as official as the world’s best grandpa shirt I gave my grandfather one year for christmas

furiousball’s last blog post..1930s German Vampire films are like milk and cookies to me

8 Kelly October 15, 2008 at 7:29 am

Wow. Just. Wow.

9 thordora October 15, 2008 at 7:32 am

All these little action days just seem like a nice way for the middle class to pat themselves on the back. I’ll stick with the water buffalo and you. :)

10 Holmes October 15, 2008 at 7:32 am

Blog Action Day = B.A.D. = not to be trusted, much like badly photoshopped pr0n.

Holmes’s last blog post..365 # 94: Mrs. Dippel

11 Chromepoet October 15, 2008 at 7:36 am

I understand poverty. I don’t think I understand amputee porn. Possibly a blog-action-day would be better if it was about stuff I don’t understand, like amputee porn. I mean, how much about poverty can be said that we don’t already know?

Chromepoet’s last blog post..Fast Poem: #11 – Ego-trip Modification, 2nd Person in the Key of Fail

12 King of Conleyworld October 15, 2008 at 7:37 am

I was a bit let down by the video. Even tho you said it had little to do with amputees, I assumed we’d atleast hear the amputee camera man masturbating off camera. Nothing. How do these people expect to get any attention without any sex in their videos? There’s a water buffalo… I think they missed an excellent opportunity to reach out to the beastiality voters. But I’m not really sure which election they are running for…

King of Conleyworld’s last blog post..a little red hen

13 ColetteNicole October 15, 2008 at 7:37 am

I heard Angelina Jolie is donating the proceeds from sales of her fake amputee porn to poverty related charities so the Blog Action people are gonna be really happy with your post. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

14 Kari October 15, 2008 at 7:38 am

OMG you crack me the fuck up, yet again! I have spent so much time reading your blog through laughing tears it amazes me. You’re hysterical! Thanks for the great laughs!

15 Kaila October 15, 2008 at 7:38 am

Apparently there are people who get limbs amputated on purpose – for the sake of porn. Unlike people who are poor on purpose – for the sake of getting a water buffalo. Never mind.

Kaila’s last blog post..All new Excellent Injury Thursday!

16 HeatherPride October 15, 2008 at 7:46 am

Is it wrong to say I would have rather watched the video of Angelina Jolie without legs?

HeatherPride’s last blog post..Are You Amazing?

17 AV Flox October 15, 2008 at 7:47 am

OMFGLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. [Dies laughing]

And now I’m watching the video and crying.

The Bloggess: inspiring bipolarity in even the most composed!

AV Flox’s last blog post..Uncommon Sense

18 always home and uncool October 15, 2008 at 7:47 am

Wasn’t Hemingway’s first book all about amputee porn — “A Farewell to Arms.”

always home and uncool’s last blog post..The Treadmill of Reverse Sexism

19 jenboglass (steenky bee) October 15, 2008 at 7:49 am

I honestly don’t know what so say other than I had no idea there was amputee porn. I thought it was special porn for amputees, not a fetish site. I was all, WTF? Why do amputees need their own porn. Also? If that bloggy organization drops you like an uneeded hand, then the porn people will gladly pick you up.

jenboglass (steenky bee)’s last blog post..I Carried You in My Heart

20 patois October 15, 2008 at 7:53 am

Maybe you could be the inaugural post for Blog Amputee Porn Day. I bet you’d make the cut then.

patois’s last blog post..Wordy Wednesday #34

21 Rhea October 15, 2008 at 7:54 am

You are so bizarre, and I love that.

I totally want a water buffalo now.

Rhea’s last blog post..A Special Message

22 Just A. Reader October 15, 2008 at 8:01 am

Angelina Jolie would just adopt somebody else’s stump.

Everybody should celebrate Blog Amputee Day with a buffalo burger.

23 Condo Blues October 15, 2008 at 8:04 am

Where is the Website to buy a water buffalo for AIG? Those executive golden parashoots aren’t as big as they used to be.

Condo Blues’s last blog post..Bruce Campbell Pumpkin Meet the Mac-O-Lantern

24 bun October 15, 2008 at 8:04 am

You are one effed up chicka! Highly inappropriate, yet funny. I am going to go to hell for laughing at your post, but the video was excellent, so you done good! Now I want to buy a water buffalo!

bun’s last blog post..Blog Action Day 2008: Poverty

25 david October 15, 2008 at 8:10 am

Waterbuffalo pr0n?

david’s last blog post..Shows This Week

26 Captain Dumbass October 15, 2008 at 8:22 am

Shouldn’t blog action day be more something like hey, I think I’ll get off my fat ass and paint my bathroom instead of screwing around on the computer all day watching amputee porn?

Captain Dumbass’s last blog post..It’s All About The Game

27 Steve October 15, 2008 at 8:25 am

Damn, I didn’t do anything about poverty or water buffalo or even ampurotica (I just made that up). Last thing I posted was talking dolls with subversive messages about early 70s R&B. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count.

Steve’s last blog post..“Ingram is Right”

28 karma_musings October 15, 2008 at 8:26 am

Best comment so far: “Wasn’t Hemingway’s first book all about amputee porn — “A Farewell to Arms.”” Better laughs than everything else combined.

Say, do you suppose AJ has the electronic equivalent of a clipping service, that gives her links to everywhere her name appears? Bloggess! She could be reading your blog *right now* dude! :-)

karma_musings’s last blog post..Life Lessons

29 Jo~Jo October 15, 2008 at 8:35 am

Amputee Porn?!

Jo~Jo’s last blog post..Who said 8 is Enough?

30 tracey October 15, 2008 at 8:39 am

Dude, that video… Emotionally charged, for sure.

tracey’s last blog post..Not for my husband’s eyes…

31 Babybloomr October 15, 2008 at 8:41 am

So… is amputee porn something you just stumbled on during your usual porn downloading time, or did you wake up this morning and think, “You know, here’s something I’ve always wondered about and would like to further explore– exactly what do people who’ve unfortunately lost a limb or two yet are still fully realized human beings with wants and needs actually LOOK like when they have sex? And what would arouse them, specifically?” Because that kind of curiosity and compassion is awesome and should result in you getting your own The Bloggess Action Day, which should be like, a day in which all bloggers everywhere spend a day doing something they think the Bloggess would enjoy– like downloading amputee porn.
And that, my friend, is called ‘full circle.’ See how I did that?

Babybloomr’s last blog post..Photo Tuesday–Runaway Mom Trip to Chattanooga!

32 Robin @ Party of Five October 15, 2008 at 8:46 am

What if one of those sucky-ass photo-shoppers photoshop’d Barbara Bush’s bush and put it on Tara Reid? It might actually be an improvement..Things that make you go hmmmm.

Robin @ Party of Five’s last blog post..Hahahahaha….Baaahaahaaahaha!!

33 SEO Hack October 15, 2008 at 8:55 am

=) i’m so glad i bothered to turn on the interweb today. to hell with that line! (=

SEO Hack’s last blog post..7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week

34 groovehouse October 15, 2008 at 8:59 am

“One toke over the line sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sittin’ downtown in a railway station
One toke over the line”

groovehouse’s last blog post..Wonderful Wednesday

35 Emily October 15, 2008 at 9:06 am

I love you because it’s like you take all the bitchiness and randomisity and inappropriate comments out of my head and put them in your blog, only funnier and better written.

36 Emily October 15, 2008 at 9:07 am

MAN, and because I’m retarded (no, really, don’t make fun of me) I kept thinking it said blog AUCTION day and I was trying to figure out how the hell Auctions and Poverty went together. Are we auctioning off Amputee Porn to raise money for poor people? What is happening here?

37 jenni October 15, 2008 at 9:08 am

Good for you, stick up for lovers of amputee porn. Everyone needs and advocate, that’s what I say.

jenni’s last blog post..Red Ties are Soooo Last Season

38 shane_onegoodie October 15, 2008 at 9:10 am

Really? Angelina Jolie has both legs? Oh. Phew. Saw that and worried. Glad you cleared it up.

KIDDING

39 always, buddy October 15, 2008 at 9:12 am

amputee porn? whatevs! i like playing, “guess that smell” with truckers.

“to each they own”–Shirley P. Liquor

always, buddy’s last blog post..still life with headache:

40 Mr Farty October 15, 2008 at 9:13 am

It’s their own fault if you stepped over their precious line, they should have marked it with fluorescent paint instead of chalk because you know that just washes away the first time it rains. Stoopid line.

Mr Farty’s last blog post..100 Things About Me

41 MIss Thystle October 15, 2008 at 9:16 am

WAIT JUST A DANG MINUTE. There’s a line?

Huh. I guess I’ll have to stop blogging all together.

MIss Thystle’s last blog post..It’s always 1983 on the midway

42 MIQuilter October 15, 2008 at 9:21 am

So now I want to spend the rest of the day watching amputee p0rn and buying water buffaloes for people in China.

43 Miss Grace October 15, 2008 at 9:22 am

Weirdest porn I’ve encountered: An entire video that was just a naked chick stepping on worms.

Miss Grace’s last blog post..Halloweenish

44 Steve October 15, 2008 at 9:25 am

shane_onegoodie: You never can tell. They can do just about anything with special effects. I saw a movie poster once where they made Keira Knightley look like she have cleavage. And then there’s that whole Jar Jar Binks thing (his tongue’s computer-generated, y’know). For all we know, Angelina Jolie could be some 60-year-old guy and a shitload of post processing.

Steve’s last blog post..“Ingram is Right”

45 Steve October 15, 2008 at 9:28 am

MIQuilter: Maybe someone should create a site where the proceeds from people watching porn go towards buying water buffalo.

Steve’s last blog post..“Ingram is Right”

46 shonda October 15, 2008 at 9:29 am

You are a total humanitarian, Jenny! Jenny for President! I feel a Nobel Peace Prize coming.

shonda’s last blog post..Out Fixin’ My Man

47 Mr Lady October 15, 2008 at 9:31 am

Someone really needs to do a Fight The Bad Porn Action Day. Catchy, don’t you think?

Mr Lady’s last blog post..2033

48 Lesley October 15, 2008 at 9:53 am

Sigh.

We need a blog action day about Water Buffalo Slavery. :-(

Lesley’s last blog post..First I Met A Dog And Then I Met A Snake Wrangler And Then I Had Really Bad Hair But Not Necessarily In That Order

49 anne nahm October 15, 2008 at 9:59 am

I lulzed. And your post incites me to cross all over lines and say things like “Blog Action Day sounds like something for which one takes a whopping dose of metamucil and then live-blog hourly progress reports.”

But I’m resisting.

anne nahm’s last blog post..Channeling Grandma VonAsstrap

50 Headless Mom October 15, 2008 at 10:01 am

Always home and uncool gets my vote for comment of the day-#18. I died right there.

Headless Mom’s last blog post..The Election, The Economy, and Me

51 Anglophile Football Fanatic October 15, 2008 at 10:07 am

Am I awful for thinking Blog Action Day is BAD as an acronym? And, you think amputee is weird. My friend gets an insane amount of hits for once making fun of eskimo porn – talk about sickos.

Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..I’ve Lost my Mojo

52 Elizabeth October 15, 2008 at 10:10 am

Hmmm… I have to say I am not shocked about the market for amputee porn, good or otherwise. I might have been, before someone gave my aunt gave my husband midget porn for Christmas (their words on the box, not mine, Little People of America). I think she was expecting a reaction… but… he has seen it before… [sigh]

I have nothing good to say on poverty, except a bum downtown is constantly trying to sell me a token. What the token is for, I don’t want to know.

Elizabeth’s last blog post..Search Engine Terms – Bringing ya back for more

53 Neil October 15, 2008 at 10:15 am

My father was a physical therapist at a hospital and he had all these books in the living room bookcase about amputees, with tons of photos. When I was a kid, I had one friend who used to come over and we would look at the Playboys from 1970 that my father had hidden in the back of his closet. I had another friend who ignored the Playboys and went right for the amputee books. I am still friends with this guy. He is still weird.

Neil’s last blog post..A One Day Break From Arrogance

54 Chuck October 15, 2008 at 10:23 am

I am still half asleep but from what I understand you cut the legs off a water buffalo and had sex with him? Am I somewhat correct?

55 goinglikesixty October 15, 2008 at 10:27 am

Jenn–eee (how many times a day do people say your name like Forest? Forest Gump?

I was going to watch the video, but didn’t like the subliminal message that kept popping up about how I should lose weight.

Buffer.

I’m Buff enuff.

goinglikesixty’s last blog post..Upside Down Dog Photos Will Crack You UP!

56 amyz5 October 15, 2008 at 10:33 am

amputee water buffalos? not sure about this cause. oh, i am sorry, i must have had a brain freeze from the whirling dervishness of that post. you do make me laugh, woman!

seriously, nothing wrong with grassroots fundraising initiatives going global on the blogosphere, but there is OH SO MUCH noise out there.

i agree, comment #18 was great. and yes we all celebrate your bipolarity!

amyz5′s last blog post..Campaign Voodoo-Op?

57 country mouse October 15, 2008 at 10:53 am

Well damn–you made me cry. And who wants to start their day crying? (Yeah, yeah, it’s almost 10 in the morning and I’m just starting my day. Got something to say about it?)

Real water buffalo and real family. You can’t beat that : )

country mouse’s last blog post..and now some happy news . . .

58 gingela5 October 15, 2008 at 11:07 am

I’ve heard of the amputee thing. I’m not really sure I could get down with that. But, I think if I was I wouldn’t want photoshopped amputees–I would want the real deal.

gingela5′s last blog post..I Should Be Ashamed But I’m Not…

59 Becky Mochaface October 15, 2008 at 11:10 am

Just think about the kinds of google searches you’re going to get now that you wrote a post on amputee porn.

Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: The Cuckoo Clock

60 Ed T. October 15, 2008 at 11:13 am

I see that, as usual, you went out on a limb with this post. ;)

~EdT.

Ed T.’s last blog post..Hurricane Ike Aftermath: The survivors, and the slain

61 Kim October 15, 2008 at 11:53 am

Great video, and insanely funny non-sappy lead-up to it.

62 michaeltadams October 15, 2008 at 11:54 am

Little known fact, Angelina Jolie is entirely legless. The legs you think you see are either photoshopped or body doubled. It’s exhaustive and ridiculously expensive but it keeps Angie happy. And really, isn’t that what we all want? So what if it’s caused a global economic crisis? Angelina Jolie’s legless ass is happy.

michaeltadams’s last blog post..Yes. A new post.

63 Dave Fowler October 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Jenny! What the hell are you doing surfing pr0n on Blog Action Day? Have you absolutely no clue?

Seriously?

Everyone knows the best day to surf pr0n is on a Sunday while most people are at church.

For some reason the download rate is much quicker. I wonder why?

Silly girl. tsk

Dave Fowler’s last blog post..Setting My Stall Out

64 Annie October 15, 2008 at 1:11 pm

There are lots of poor amputees in the world judging from the work of the late Princess Di and the ex-Mrs. Sir Paul Beatle, so perhaps there is hope for this post.

Annie’s last blog post..Best Laid Plans

65 Tiggerlane October 15, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Tears…SO. NOT. FAIR.

Now I’m feeling all guilty about buying a CD and book about Prince. I’m so shallow.

Now I want to go buy someone a water buffalo, to atone.

Tiggerlane’s last blog post..Fun Monday Doodles

66 claire October 15, 2008 at 1:24 pm

my computer doesn’t have sound, so that video clip was riveting. but did not make me cry. what can I say? I have a black heart.

claire’s last blog post..I Live in a Fucking Hostle

67 Issa October 15, 2008 at 2:08 pm

I watched the whole thing but didn’t see any amputee water buffalo. Am very disappointed. ;0)

Issa’s last blog post..True Issa-fessions: It’s like true confessions, just a bit longer, rambley and a tad bit more crazy.

68 fidget October 15, 2008 at 2:12 pm

I think amputee porn is the perfect way to draw attention to poverty so real amputee porn models, ones who surely got into the biz due to lack of fundage, might get some bloggosphere attention.

That we all rise up and clamor REAL AMPUTEES IN AMPUTEE PORN ! and perhaps their lives will be less poverty stricken due to a flourishing job market.

fidget’s last blog post..Work at home job goes awry

69 Just A. Reader October 15, 2008 at 2:36 pm

I wonder if our government should bail out the struggling amputee porn model sector. I mean, geez, it couldn’t take more than a few billion dollars, right? It’s not like they’re not a deserving part of the economy too.

Ooooh, and we could pay the whole bailout in buffalo nickels!

70 rebekah October 15, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Apparently there is a world of online porn (because this would be hard to pull off in real life) called “Centaur”, where people’s bodies are photoshopped onto animals. Like horses. Or water buffaloes. Maybe next time it’s Blog Action Day, you could do a little something for all the poor fake-amputee-water-buffalo-legs-porn-stars?

rebekah’s last blog post..Yoga people, meet Forces of Nature I and II

71 lindasue October 15, 2008 at 5:05 pm

I bought a water buffalo at christmas time and some chickens and a goat for Humanity whatever- Now you are saying they are symbolic! Bollocks! DANG! Love this post- proves that if you want a job done well you bloody well have to do it yourself!

lindasue’s last blog post..Janet’s Jack-o-lantern

72 BOSSY October 15, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Hmm. Bossy has the Poverty part licked:

http://www.iambossy.com/poverty-party/2008/10/14/the-daily-poverty-party-2/

Any other questions?

BOSSY’s last blog post..Hi, Bossy Had A Boil Removed From Her Butt, And How Are You?

73 CarolynOnline October 15, 2008 at 6:14 pm

Yeah. Really unless the amputee is actually making it with the water buffalo you won’t win this contest.

CarolynOnline’s last blog post..Advice from Scott… Sort of.

74 Wendy October 15, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Oot of ALL the Blog the Poverty or whatever blogs that I read today, yours is my absolute favorite. Thanks for that! :)

75 Tressa Bailey October 15, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Well some of the amputee people of the world ARE poor. It isn’t always the rich ones who pose for porn. For all you know you could have single handedly spawned a desire amongst the masses for just this type of porn. In doing so you could have created numerous future jobs for unemployed and yet still sexy amputees. You should be given an award! You have done your duty….and all I’ve written about today was streetwalkers. I feel unworthy.

Tressa Bailey’s last blog post..Ask A Streetwalker

76 Bella October 15, 2008 at 9:44 pm

Wikipedia defines poverty as “deprivation of common necessities that determine the quality of life” and everyone knows Wikipedia is never wrong. And limbs being pretty common and somewhat necessary, could lead one to argue that your post is in the true spirit of Blog Action Day and everyone knows that the innernet loves to argue. Hence and therefore, you are right and Blog Action Day is totally about Amputee Porn. Afterall, what else is there?

Bella’s last blog post..The randomness of Thursday… try to keep up

77 Jimmy James October 15, 2008 at 10:50 pm

There’s a line?

Anyway, you think the amputee camera man can hook me up with a copy of the water buffalo video? Oh, and I’d like extra poverty on mine thank you.

Jimmy James’s last blog post..Damn Pumpkin Heads

78 Nora Bee October 16, 2008 at 12:34 am

Let’s make our own bloggy holiday! Bloggers for internet fetish porn! (You can make those little graphics, right?)

Nora Bee’s last blog post..Nora raises eyebrows at life insurance man, changes nothing

79 Blu October 16, 2008 at 4:43 am

@ 18:

Nicely done.

80 Aunt Evolity Unleashed October 16, 2008 at 5:48 am

ah! Water Buffalo!
Yesterday one of my coworkers was getting grilled by someone on the phone. When she hung up and complained about being reamed I asked her “Did you ask him if he ever owned a Water Buffalo? Cuz if you had, your conversation would have taken an entirely different turn!”
I loves me some Water Buffalo!

Aunt Evolity Unleashed’s last blog post..There’s a Sex Offender on Our Street

81 The Cotton Wife October 16, 2008 at 7:09 am

Angelina’s legs would be no great loss. Look at candids from behind… she looks like someone’s old saggy grandpa.

It always lifts my spirits.

The Cotton Wife’s last blog post..Picking And A-Grinnin’

82 The Stiletto Mom October 16, 2008 at 7:37 am

You are always a woman ahead of your time…NEXT WEEK is amputee fetish week. Duh!
:)

The Stiletto Mom’s last blog post..History Repeats Itself

83 Sal October 16, 2008 at 7:58 am

From here, the line, yea, it looks more like a dot. Kinda like this —> .

Sal’s last blog post..Parenting Poverty

84 Fill October 16, 2008 at 9:34 am

There are lots of amputee porn stars out there starving and no one has a benifit dinner for them!?!
I once found a fetish web site for men who like there women to do things to their bottoms with strap ons, but they swear they arent hot for gay butt love.

Fill’s last blog post..I like to curse…..

85 Tattooed Minivan Mom October 16, 2008 at 11:21 am

Tatonka!!

Tattooed Minivan Mom’s last blog post..I’m So Cheap I…

86 Kevin Tumlinson October 16, 2008 at 12:08 pm

I think the saddest part was when I learned that “blogger action day” did not, in fact, mean I was going to get laid.

87 ctina1973 October 16, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Jenny,

I’ve never been prouder of you.

88 chirky October 16, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Good God, woman. You should warn a girl! Considering my emotional state today, I probably should have waited a few MONTHS before watching that video.

In any case, I’m glad you shared it.

chirky’s last blog post..Saying Goodbye Before Saying Hello

89 liv October 16, 2008 at 4:04 pm

as usual, late to your party, my lovely. but, yes, amputees can do anything.

liv’s last blog post..this is why.

90 Leigh Ann October 16, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Absolute perfection…

91 Jacqueline October 16, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Poverty and amputee porn? Totally related….who’s more poor than someone who cannot afford a freaking leg or arm?
And think of all the mannequins wasting space in department stores. I am totally going to steal some mannequin legs and give them to amputees. But first I wll spray paint them orange so they can have a tan.

Jacqueline’s last blog post..And so it begins

92 anymommy October 16, 2008 at 5:31 pm

I am speechless. And laughing. There may be something wrong with both of us.

anymommy’s last blog post..Barking Spiders

93 Her Bad Mother October 16, 2008 at 5:38 pm

I’d pick this one. But then, I’d probably also pick a Flight of the Conchords youtube clip and argue that it was helping to alleviate misery and also semi-related to blogging and so worthy of blog action recognition.

So.

Her Bad Mother’s last blog post..Baby Can’t Dance (Or, Everything I Needed To Know About Post-Partum Mental Health I Could Have Learned From Jonathan Swift And Ally McBeal)

94 Anita the Ovolina mom October 16, 2008 at 9:18 pm

Seriously? Crazy stuff out there amputee fetishes…. speechless…

95 Giyen October 16, 2008 at 10:13 pm

oh i am so confused. the video crapped out on me and now i have no idea what the conversation is about.

i am beginning to think the water buffalo is an amputee.

Giyen’s last blog post..Embarassing To The 10th Power

96 Kat October 16, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Woah. That video was awesomely cool. I never watch entire videos, but I watched this one – and you know why? It was the juxtaposition of the poverty of the Chinese farmers against the sick fucking weirdos who Photoshop the limbs off movie stars and then spank their wank to them.

I’m sure those two things are related in some cosmically karmic way, but I’m not deep enough to figure it out.

Kat’s last blog post..I Drive My Kid Crazy

97 bermudabluez October 17, 2008 at 12:19 am

The whole reason I read your blog is because you like to “color outside the lines”….Ha!

bermudabluez’s last blog post..Good to be Back in Canandaigua!

98 LORI October 17, 2008 at 12:55 am

HEY THERE REN AND STUMPY–YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I HAD TO LEAVE MY COMPUTER TO PEE. TWICE.

99 girlorbital October 17, 2008 at 2:39 am

Dear Bloggess

I firmly disapprove of amputee porn. I believe all porn should be puteed.

p.s. I luvvv you. The droolie-I’ve-just-had-bourbon kind.

p.p.s. So does my sister. Who posted before I did. But I put her on to you. You should know that. Cause five years after Buffy she refused to acknowledge that I put her on to that too. So I’m getting it into writing now and you are my witness. But I’m airing family issues now.

p.p.p.s. I got my sister to start a blog using you as bait. Cause I thought she was as funny as you. If you have a spare moment between porn surfing you should check her out: http://www.bellanz.blogspot.com

Thank you for the laughs .. we dig it downunder.

girlorbital’s last blog post..Nifty Gadgets

100 FruGal October 17, 2008 at 4:21 am

Think of all the poor people who are going to land on this blog post after searching for amputee porn, and all they find here is a video full of ugly poor people and a water buffalo, with nary the hint of a missing limb in sight.

Those are the people I feel sorry for. It’s about managing expectations.

101 melissa October 17, 2008 at 5:55 am

Um Hi,
I just started reading your site and I think you are super. You might be a wee bit crazy, but I think I like that about you. I will wait in line to get your book when it comes out. Keep it up

102 Ed T. October 17, 2008 at 8:34 am

I think that in your case, “downloading porn” probably equates to “doing stuff”.

~EdT.

Ed T.’s last blog post..Nothing says “I Love You” quite like this

103 paisana October 17, 2008 at 10:59 am

LMAO. One of my favorite publishing stories is about a picture of a little kid who was pointing at something with his index finger and if you looked closely and turned the book sideways, it might just look like he was shooting something with his finger, which of course made everyone at the co. I worked for FREAK. We can’t have a kid shooting something in a book! So what did we do? Graphically amputate him. Tch.

104 Renée aka Mekhismom October 17, 2008 at 11:08 am

You crack me up. And managed to post about Blog Action Day in your way. Which is the point isn’t it?

Renée aka Mekhismom’s last blog post..Bebe’s Kids

105 molly October 17, 2008 at 11:47 am
106 stpaulslim October 17, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Oh, my bad. It’s blog ACTION day. I thought it was blog AUCTION day. I just put in two bids on artificial limbs on ebay.

107 Red Flashlight October 17, 2008 at 12:32 pm

(1) I love that there’s a word in Chinese that means “I’m not emotionally prepared to handle this right now.” That’s so advanced. How come we don’t have a word like that? (2) I’d love to see these wealthy Americans actually follow up on the many water buffaloes and/or chickens they have, in fact, purchased in recent years. Stolen? Murdered by jealous and equally needy neighbors? Died in a flood? Sold to pay for the family’s *actual* needs, about which their wealthy benefactor failed to inquire? (3) Why did the mother in that family kill herself?? Doesn’t sound like a stable environment in which to place a poor defenseless water buffalo. (4) I don’t care about porn, amputee or otherwise.

108 Jozet at Halushki October 17, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Sometimes I write like my head has been lopped off. Does that turn you on, you kinky beast?

109 Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy October 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Porn, amputees, water buffaloes and Hemmingway references. Love it!

Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy’s last blog post..It’s Here!

110 claire October 17, 2008 at 5:50 pm

I can’t cook.

claire’s last blog post..Transvestites and Trip Wires

111 Backpacking Dad October 17, 2008 at 6:16 pm

I remember the first computer porn pic I was ever sent over our dorm network was called “Stumpy”. Well, not “porn-as-in-people-having-sex”, but “porn-as-in-nude-picture”.

She was smiling so big it was difficult not to appreciate her art.

I will never forget Stumpy. But, and I don’t want to blow your mind or anything, and it’s not Stumpy or amputee p0rn or anything and I totally had this one forwarded to me and did not in any way go looking for it and please don’t look at it or if you do please don’t hate me for telling you about it although you will probably want to rip your eyes out and throw them at me for it….

Tubgirl. I won’t link.

Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..I’m Keeping the Notebooks.

112 Fran October 18, 2008 at 8:26 am

You had me at “hello”. Then I read the BHJ interview and add BHJ to my favs (but he didn’t make the cut in time to get linked through “addiction”), and now I love you even more! Thanks for clarifying that boys in Texas date squirrels. I always wondered.

Fran’s last blog post..A new level of discipline

113 Hugh Briss - Ventibate October 18, 2008 at 11:19 am

Actually a well-done Photochop of Angelina Jolie with an amputated limb would be great for anyone into amputee porn because it would fullfill a fantasy.

Hugh Briss – Ventibate’s last blog post..Xbox 360 RIP?

114 shauna October 18, 2008 at 1:18 pm

every time i hear the word water buffalo i think about that line in fletch when chevy chase knocks on the girl’s door, she opens it wearing only a towel and he says, “excuse me ma’am. can i borrow your towel? my car just hit a water buffalo.”

am i the only one who thinks that’s fucking hilarious?

shauna’s last blog post..that karma, she’s a bitch

115 Kurt October 19, 2008 at 7:40 am

There were prolly amputee running (figurative) around all over the place in the background of the Buffalo video. I’m just trying to cheer you up.

Kurt’s last blog post..An Open Letter to My Nemesis

116 Jess March 2, 2009 at 3:15 pm

I’m SURE you aren’t “into” amputee porn… but for some good kicks you should look up nugget porn. No- it’s not McDonalds chicken nuggets made to look like they are doing it, it’s WAY more entertaining, and you will feel slightly awkward watching it because you are unsure it that should be legal.

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