Conversation at an estate sale filled with extremely questionable things:
Me: I’m pretty sure I need this doll.
Victor: Nope. Nope. Nope. All of my nopes.
me: Sir, how much is the doll with no eyeballs?
Estate sale guy: It’s $75.
me: Seems pricey. But, hang on…does that include all the human souls trapped inside it? Because that might actually be a good value.
Estate sale guy: It comes with an extra set of doll clothes.
Victor: Does it also come with an exorcism?
Guy: It’s real old. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.
Victor: Well, thank God for that.
Victor said I couldn’t bring her home even though I tried to show him how lovely she was:
Then Victor made me put her down, but when I went in the next room I found another doll and I was like, “I felt sad for a doll with no eyes until I met a doll with no arms”.
This is where I would put a picture of the doll and her missing arms, but I think it cursed my phone because all I can find is a picture of her face:
Victor: SERIOUSLY? Did Satan’s grandma live here?
me: They probably removed her arms to keep her from smothering people during the night. Now she can only hug you with her teeth.
And then Victor made me leave.
But not before I bought an antique book for a dollar: