This is a disjointed post as my is family here for an early Christmas since my dad will be manning his taxidermy shop on actual Christmas. Because nothing says “Happy birthday, Jesus!” like being elbow-deep in a warm deer.
I just want to say such an enormous thank you to everyone who asked for or offered help this week on our 5th Annual James Garfield Miracle Post. I’ve lost track but my best estimate is that over $75k has already been donated this week to helping kids have at least one Christmas/Hanukkah present, or giving a security blanket, toy and book to a homeless child, or giving a gift through Heifer to help better the world. Project Night Night and Heifer have both reached out to say that they are seeing a ton of donations come from here, and the comments of people sending toys and receiving them have given me back my Christmas spirit.
My friend , Joe Baden, surprised me with an amazing illustration he made for me this week:
And it’s perfect because at first I thought it was me fighting Godzilla, but then I looked closer and realized it was more like Godzilla and I are on the same team and he’s totally got my back. As if I was like, “LET’S DO THIS SHIT. LET’S SAVE CHRISTMAS AND TURN ALL GUNS INTO CHOCOLATE AND MAKE PAJAMAS FOR COLD SLOTHS!” And Godzilla was all, “Have you been drinking again? You’re in your pajamas and you’re armed with a blow-dryer. And it’s not even plugged in. Jesus, lady. JUST LET ME HELP YOU.”
That Godzilla is you.
If you’re part of the community. If you helped. If sent a word of kindness. If you donated, or plan to donate in the future. (Heifer and Project Night Night always need help.) If you were humble enough to ask for help, or selfless enough to pass on help to others once your needs were met. No matter what part you played, you are my Godzilla.
Thank you for being my Godzilla.
PS. If you want to leave comments of thanks you can do that here, but if you’re asking for help, or including a link for help please just leave those comments on the original post so we don’t end up with confusion, okay?
PPS. For those still struggling to make the holiday special for their children, or those who weren’t able to get their present delivered before Christmas here are a few ideas:
Go on youtube and create an entire playlist for them of songs that remind you of them, or that you know they’d love to hear. I made a playlist for Hailey and she listens to it over and over. It’s like the free mixtape of the future.
Get a pinterest account (it’s free), search it for the cool stuff they love, and pin those things to a board you made just for them. Motivational words, art they’d like, meme’s they enjoy, movies they like. I have one for Hailey and she loves to check it out because it’s all about the Star Wars and Night Vale and Doctor Who and funny animals, and it reminds her that I’m thinking of her. This is a mirror image of it if you want to see how it works. I keep the real one marked “private” so I don’t have to worry about her seeing comments 10 year olds shouldn’t read.
Go to the library and get a GREAT book you loved at that age. Then turn off everything but a single lamp and read aloud. Even now I love listening to my mom read.
Do art together. Maybe it’s coloring. Maybe it’s doodling. Maybe it’s getting out your phone or camera to take funny photos.
And remember that, no matter what, if your children have your love they are already ahead of the game.
And now, the weekly wrap-up of awesomeness:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by the creators of THE KEGEL BEAR, an adorable children’s book about vaginal exercise. That sounds weird, but it’s actually quite genius, as outlined in the video and also makes a fabulous baby shower gift. No bears or vaginas were harmed in the making of this product.