Fun and hell and blogrolls and cats that aren’t dead

in my cat's toes, Random Crap, terrible titles, this blog cures cancer

You know how old people say “like fun I will” instead of “like hell I will”?  Why are fun and hell interchangeable for old people?  Shouldn’t they be mutually exclusive?  This is the shit that keeps me up at night.

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Housekeeping:  I need to update my blogroll but I’m terribly lazy.  If you think you should be on it just leave me a comment here and I’ll update it this week.

Reasons you should be on my blogroll:

1.  I go to your blog a lot and must like you.

2.  You come here a lot because you want to feel better about yourself by comparison.

3.  I’m on your blogroll.

4.  I’m not on your blogroll but I will be in like two minutes because you need to be on my blogroll so your technorati ranking will go up.

5.  You have some penis-enhancing drugs you’d like to tell me about.  (Fail.)

6.  You have a hysterical blog and I need to discover you.

7.  You are a dangerous stalker and I need to keep tabs on you.

8.  You think Phoenix should be spelled Pheonix because that’s how it sounds.

9.  I owe you.

10.  Other. (Be specific.)

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Update on Bubba-the-half-paralyzed-tub-cat:

beebs.jpg

198 thoughts on “Fun and hell and blogrolls and cats that aren’t dead”

Read comments below or add one.

  3. I’m glad the cat’s still alive. That photo is awesome. Anyway, not sure if I’m already on your blogroll or not but reason 3 holds true, if not parts of reasons 1 and 2, so there you are.

    Jess’s last blog post..All you do is blink.

  4. My modified reasons to be on your blogroll:

    1. You went there at least once, because you commented recently.

    2. I come here whenever you pop up on my bloglines…Sometime I feel better, sometimes worse. 😉

    3. I thought you were on my blogroll. I just checked; you’re not. It’s the thought that counts, right?

    4. Oh heck, I’ll put you on there…Very clever way to get yourself on more blogrolls. 😉

    5. I neither have them nor want to discuss them with you.

    6. Hysterical…maybe not. Occasionally humorous – Definitely.

    7. According to my husband, bloggers are crazy people. Not sure if he’s including me in there.

    8. Nope. I’m a spelling nut. I will not change the conventional spelling rules.

    9. Well, I AM planning to add you to my blogroll…

    10. We both have 3 year olds.

    3carnations’s last blog post..I’ve got a shopping trip coming up…

  5. Ohohoh! Mememe! Umm, for your blogroll, and just because? Is that a reason? How about because I said so? Is that better?

    Oh, and glad to see an update on the not-dead cat! I hope he’s doing better!

    Erin’s last blog post..Firefly

  10. The reason I should be on your blogroll is because the voices in my head are telling your voices too.

    Oh wait that is creepy.

    If I am added to your blogroll, we can cure cancer…. or stop world hunger…. Hmmm World Peace?

    Okay so you know me in person. I talked you through the whole babysitting thing once. I came to Hailey’s bday and gave her a cool gift! I have been to both MDCQs! We used to live in the same neighborhood. I have been to your house. I brought you kick ass cookies when I did come to your house. I have you on mine blogroll! I read both of your blogs and never complained once that you link them sometimes and I have to go back and forth. I have sent you squid things, oh wait that might be reason to keep me off. Well, I’m not afraid of squids so I will protect you if there is ever a plague of squid.

    And if that is not enough, I think you are the best thing since sliced bread.

    Erica’s last blog post..Divorce with kids doesn’t mean the relationship ends….

  14. I can’t figure out my blogroll. On the black and white one it’s easy. On the new one I have no clue. I have a ‘blogrolling’ thingummy but I’m not really sure how it work although I have a zillion blogs in there. Maybe we need some technical advice [or maybe just me!]
    Cheers

    Maddy’s last blog post..Wordy Wednesday – feeling blue

  16. 5. You have some penis-enhancing drugs you’d like to tell me about.

    Now, however did you know that?!?!

    Though truly –
    10. Other. (Be specific.)
    Specifically? Because I think you are fantastic. And I want to be tangentially fantastic. Or something like that… 😉

    Z’s last blog post..The Talk

  17. “Like fun I will?” At my house we prefer to use “Like fuck I will.” Sounds great coming out of the three year old’s mouth.

  19. well, i should be on your blogroll for pure sympathy since my own sick persian died last week.

    oh, and because i talk about my hoo hoo from time to time.

  22. I’m # 7 on your list and I read every entry of yours – I just suck balls at commenting.

    Glad your cat is still alive. <– you have no idea how it pains me to care about a cat, but I loves you and all so there’s that. kthxbai.

    Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Censored

  24. Well, let’s see. I don’t know how to work Technorati (seriously, it’s sad), and I don’t have a blogroll (my current layout on LJ doesn’t support it, and I don’t know how to change it), so those are right out.

    However!

    Sometimes you read my blog (b/c you’ve commented, which is only the most awesome thing EVER). You actually mentioned my blog in one of your MamaDrama posts once (OMGGGG). We both like ridiculous scifi movies and Neil Gaiman. I think your daughter is precious, your husband is funny, and I respect your fear of the giant squid. Also, I read this and MamaDrama every day.

    How’s that?

    omglawdork’s last blog post..An Incredibly Cerebral Review of Jeepers Creepers. Yep.

  29. I qualify for all of them but #4. You are already on my blog-roll. I don’t even have to pretend you are on their while I distract you with shiney objects so I can put you there.

    And specifically for #10 – I don’t send naked pictures or StripperDancing videos to people who don’t love me enough to link me. I love to be linked. I ask you, who doesn’t love to be licked… umm, I mean linked?

    SassyPants’s last blog post..Admitting you have a problem is the first step

  30. Your post about “No “I” in Threesome” had me laughing out loud. I’ve been lurking for a couple of weeks- you crack me up!!!

    Blogroll would be great- I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. That doesn’t make sense. Whatever.

    I feel like I should ask permission before blogrolling someone. Is that weird? I’m new. I don’t get the etiquette stuff quite yet. But I’m getting better. Can I add you?

    (I don’t like cats too much. But I’m glad yours in hanging on.)

  32. 10. Because there’s no ‘I’ in ‘threesome,’ but there is a ‘me.’

    And because I crave validation from people I’ve never met.

  33. I should be on your blogroll because yours is the first thing I read in the morning, and I’m certain that you are keeping me from having cancer. Also, you’re on mine.

    And the word blogroll makes me laugh. Blogroll/bogroll HA!

    Emily’s last blog post..Love(crafting)

  34. I would have to go with 3carnations and say that you stopped by and commented. I was floored, so far, no one comments on my blog. I almost cried, then I just broke into “The Nervous Farts” because OMG someone actually other than my obligated friends read this. Only people I know outside of the internet life have commented on my blog. You will always have a special place in my heart….which I guess puts me right about the #7 on your list. hehe 🙂

  37. Ooo me! For reasons #2,3,6,7 (just joking…or am I?).

    Also, Not Dead Bubba The Half Paralyzed Tub Cat looks like a handsome young gent with a sophisticated moustache and all-knowing and all-judging eyes. I wanna kiss his little monkey lips. But not in a gross way. Just a little friendly peck.

    Jen O.’s last blog post..Like a carousel, except not as fun

  38. You guys are so cracking me up. My blogroll is going to totally kick ass.

    Danielle – RE blog etiquette: Blogrolling someone is like giving somebody an encouraging butt-slap. You don’t ask. You just do it. Then if they get offended you can take it back but really, would you want to blogroll someone who was offended by an encouraging butt-slap? Answer: No.

  41. But I AM stalking you!

    It’s just not working so well since we live a kajillion miles apart.

    But I think of you often, ‘kay?

    Glad Bubba’s not dead. Did he put his stubby little legs under him by himself, or are you still posing him?

    daysgoby’s last blog post..tapioca

  42. 1. Hell and fun are certainly interchangeable for old people. Remember: these are people whose favorite topic of conversation is how their bodies are rotting and falling apart. (i.e. “How are you, Martha?” Response: “Well, I had to go to the doctor on Tuesday – I have to watch that right hip. Oh, and I now pee out of a bag.”)

    2. I should be on your blog roll because I don’t have a blog roll. Therefore, I need to be on somebody’s? (Read that a few times after drinking heavily and it will start to make sense.)

    3. I think my cat got an STD from the neighbor’s cat. She’s a naughty biotch and needs to meet Bubba so that they can get it on. He’ll feel better about his lot in life even if he catches a disease.

    Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..Letter to my Law School’s Parking Garage Attendant

  44. Daysgoby – He can totally sit up on his own! Of course his little broken legs are jutting out of his rear in a disturbing fashion but I just tuck those in and he looks just fine. (Sort of)

    Law School Hot Mama – I got your back. I’d already deleted one of the double posts. Of course now it looks ridiculous that you’re apologizing for a double post that doesn’t exist. You’re on your own on that one.

  45. #8. Definitely that. And cause of other stuff too. But wait, I have to respond to a comment you put on my blog-thingy:

    What you said – It’ll be like that flying dog on Never Ending Story only more horrible.

    What I need to say – You mean Falkor? The white thing? Falkor was a luck dragon, not a flying dog. Silly bloggess.

    Ok, i’m done, you may wish to not place on the covetted blog-roll, but you should know, I have no idea what a technorati rating is.

    michael’s last blog post..Tales from me and Troy

  46. From your list it would probably be #2,3 and 7. But really? I would probably just be like the nerd girl that would follow the popular girls around in High School. Being on your blogroll would be like the sympathy vote. “Oh the poor girl…”. See, you can read my not so funny blog and feel good about yourself at the same time!

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..Just Curious…..Cold Medications

  48. I’m not sure I should be on your blogroll, but you are on mine and you do stop by every now and then.

    That cat is so damn cute in a homely sort of way.

    I’ve never heard of the fun – hell exchange.

    Beckie’s last blog post..Odd Entertainment

  50. Pheonix? Wrong. It should obviously be feenix. Much easier to remember.

    The only reason you’re not on my blogroll, is that I’m far too lazy to keep one. But you’re in my feed reader twice. That’s got to count for something.

  51. Perhaps if Bubba got to be too much for you, he could go live with Abe Vigoda. They’ve got that “alive” thing in common.

    I just looked – and I am NOT on your blogroll???? Not that I deserve a spot on your hallowed list, but that would totally make my day/week/month/year. Of course, even if I don’t make it because of some totally lame reason, I love you anyway.

    Sayre’s last blog post..about:blank

  53. Please add me.

    I know that you pop over occasionally & leave a comment, but I’m not sure if it’s a quid pro quo kind of a thing or if you read my sharp, witty comment and think, “Hey, this girl’s got it GOING ON, I have to go chceck out her blog!” Yeah, sorry to dissapoint.

    I know that when you read the line, Quid pro quo, in your head, you added “Dr. Lecter”

    Catizhere’s last blog post..Two posts in one day! It’s a freakin’ lenten miracle

  55. #3, for sure. Sometime #6.

    And because now, since I live in an area (the Phoenix area, no less) where there are a lot of retirees, I’m going to have to start listening for “like fun I will.” They really say that? Huh.

    Love your blog. And your cat. Is the paralysis gone?

  56. Thanks for the update. And also, I was very offended when I found that I hadn’t made the preferred friends list. but whatever. You know how I roll.

    So, um, I’m thinking 5,7, and 9 are good enough reasons. Not to mention the name of a store in the mall that I only was able to shop at for about 10 minutes in 9th grade. But that’s a story for another time.

    30andflirty’s last blog post..Actual Fun At Bowling!

  57. What’s wrong with me? Every time I come here lately I want to break into sailorspeak. It’s not pretty (bitch! what do you mean I’m not already on your blogroll??!).

    See? I don’t think you’re the B word AT ALL! How many times do I call you a freakin’ Blog Rockstar? I can’t count that high.

    And…for the record…you ARE on my blogroll in an elite category that’s titled (lemme go check)–Wait, it’s not a title–check it out:

    “Love ‘em…they do with words or photography what Da Vinci did with paint—brush-stroking unforgettable masterpieces.”

    hahahahah…I’m actually serious. That IS what “your section” is called. It’s just that I’ve never gotten around actually to linking people to the blogroll…or publishing it, so it’s little more than a list of blog titles that lead to nowhere.

    Now, what was I supposed to comment here? Oh, for the fun of it…sheesh!

    🙂

    Robin’s last blog post..Marital advice that’ll leave you speechless…or cheering

  59. You’ve commented on the last couple of my Fun Monday posts (which I kind of hate to admit is the first time I knew of you, but now I visit every day and might be developing a girl crush on you!). I haven’t added you to my blogroll but I will. I should probably warn you that might take me a while because I’m supah lazy.

    Also, I sometimes blog about my bizarre habit of doing weird stuff with toilet paper while walking in my sleep.

    And I wrote about a really weird dream involving a turkey wearing a college sweater and a bandana sitting in a ficus tree in my living room. Who dreams crap like that?

    Sauntering Soul’s last blog post..Of course I never would, but I kind of want to push both of them down the elevator shaft.

  60. Because since you joined as a loyal reader, my loyal readership has jumped from 3 to 5. THAT’S A FREAKIN’ 40 PERCENT INCREASE (approximately).

    Besides, otherwise I would start wandering the streets, getting into trouble, having more kids… and nobody wants that, just ask my kids. It’s wayyyyyyy to crowded around here.

    Houston’s last blog post..About to Go On A Rampage

  61. I may qualify on several points from your list but if I ask for love, it’s not love. It’s obligation.

    I have never heard an older person say “fun” instead of “hell.” Perhaps we run with different senior crowds.

    And Bubba…so glad he’s improving.

    Now I have to go pander to more people for jobs that pay. And that may explain my lack of pandering here; pander-fatigue. That would “tired of asking” you know, not “sick of pandas” said with weird MA accent, I mean who adds Rs on the ends of words like that? Not me for sure. My Rs go right where you’d think from how things are spelled.

    Julie Pippert’s last blog post..Me Talk Big One Day (A Hump Day Hmm for 2-20-2008)

  67. I was getting all stressy trying to come up with a good reason until I read that “butt-slap” analogy. Fucking genius. Love it.

    I’m assuming you are willing to endorse the idea that TX deserves to be messed with.

    Tessie’s last blog post..Good News/Bad News

  68. 3,9,10.

    3. -self explanatory

    9. it’s this, or I give out your cell # to the entire Interweb* (that, and our BlogHer hanging out plan failed which made me sad.)

    10. I wore pasties in 5th grade as part of my halloween costume, which you seemed to have gotten some blog mileage out of:
    http://oncemore.typepad.com/once_morewith_feeling/2006/11/true_life_i_am_.html

    (true, that photo “has legs”, but still).

    XO-
    Jen

    *hopefully you watch 30 Rock and get this, otherwise, not as funny.

  70. Can I just say that at some point on nearly every one of my posts the comments start to get so hysterical that I become too intimidated to actually respond anymore? This happens on. my. own. blog.

    Is there a word for this? Because there should be. (Something French preferably.)

  71. I must be on your blogroll because: (1) your on mine (both of your blogs); (2) I’m fabulous; (3) I have pictures of you drunk. Oh wait, I already posted those on the internet. Scratch #3, you should link me because I’m fabulous.

    And I promise to get you drunk at BlogHer ’08….!

    LawyerMama’s last blog post..Eureka!

  73. 10.a) It is the *right* thing to do.
    10.b) Because.
    10.c) Both “10.a)” and “10.b)”.
    10.d) I can keep this up until I trigger a buffer overflow, at which time your blog will be “pwn3d” by me. BwahahahaHaHaHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    😉

    ~EdT.

  77. You seriously have the best commenters ever. Of course, I’m just saying that because I’m one of them. But still…

  79. Catizhere – Two years of college French plus freetranslations.com have told me that your French phrase means:

    Never fear, small mouse are not intimitated.

    Thank you?

  81. I also adore the butt slap analogy.

    In fact, I named my blogroll “Encouraging Butt Slaps”. You naturally get the credit for it, but it finally convinced me to smack more booty!!

    Ka-pow!!

    Danielle’s last blog post..Censored

  83. The reason for fun and hell being interchangeable for old people, and I’m speaking for guys here, is that pulling your pecker out in front of a bunch of women is fun, trying to use it to take a piss is hell.

    As for the blogroll, is that like a California roll?

    Willowtree’s last blog post..Bentley 88 – WT 87

  85. crap.
    it was supposed to say fear not, small mouse. Do not be intimidated. NOT *are* not intimidated.

    I failed 7th grade French.

  86. reason #10. Because “what the hell is always the right answer”

    I will if you will. Scratch my back/scratch yours. Mutual admiration society. Any of those will work. 🙂

    Dawn’s last blog post..Carseat

  91. You’re on my blogroll and although I’m not a big commenter I visit often. Where else can I get great insight and knowledge about such freakish things?

  93. I like mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes and cold cuts on my blog rolls, pretty much everything. Except Vegemite! Uh uh… no way no how!

    Jeff’s last blog post..Tough Break

  96. You know, I always thought my mom said that because she was raised Catholic and had somehow programmed into her head “fun” and “hell” were the same thing.

  97. I am getting a complex. First, all of my comments were snubbed when you did your comment posts, twice, not that I am counting. Now I check your blogroll and Nope! Nada. Zero. Nothing. At least #2 and #3 apply here and probably 5 more at least. So add me friend!

    Tracey’s last blog post..Dust, Dirt, and Noise

  105. I’ve never heard “like fun I will”, but I’ll be sure to use it on days I feel really old.

    Like everyday.

    I am still wondering about your hubby’s bizarre voice mail from the other day, though. You need to elaborate or I’ll be forced to remove you from my blogroll. And my technorati rating is 1. Or 5,000,000.

    Whichever is better.

    Blue Momma’s last blog post..This Housewife Needs Help!!!

  109. I found your blog through BOSSY today, while I was at work. I have now read each and every entry, and I must tell you that you are one of the most entertaining reads!!!

    I’ll be back!!!

    Mary

  111. How did I get to this party only after 107 other people beat me to it? You should put me on your blog roll because a) you’re on mine and b) I just wrote “hoo-haa” in one of my posts.

    NewDuck’s last blog post..The Swedes strike again

  112. 3. I’m on your blogroll.

    6. You have a hysterical blog and I need to discover you.
    Not-so-very
    7. You are a dangerous stalker and I need to keep tabs on you. ^

    Yeah. That’s about right!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  113. And I FAIL at inserting my witty remark!

    7. You are a NOT-SO-VERY dangerous stalker and I need to keep tabs on you.

    I’ll blame it on the twins. They make it hard to stalk ANYBODY!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  114. Yeah, alright, I’ll bite. You are on my blogroll already. At some point I decided not to go tit for tat but just to put on the blogs I read. Except for the ones I have not put on yet. Crap, I see the need for this whole updating thing. (You are still stuck on the fact I said “tit”, aren’t you?)

    nonlineargirl’s last blog post..Random quote and unrelated photo of the week

  117. Well, you are on mine (which is a links page, because apparently I’m too cool for a “blogroll”), but I don’t come here and feel better, I come here and feel less funny. And then I read the comments and I feel even less funny. And somehow I feel the need to keep doing this to myself over and over like a co-dependent loser.

    But you are one of the VERY few blogs that make me laugh out loud, and if we went dancing I’d totally freak you the way girls do with each other when they’re trying to keep the gross guys off them.

    To Think Is To Create’s last blog post..Love Thursday: A Man and His Wheels

  119. I was thinking I’d do it all tomorrow but now that I’m looking at this huge list of people that all deserve to be added I’d say the estimated date of completion will be 2011.

  121. number 3, and number 2 a lilbit because of the cat stuff.

    You came to my journal once and left a comment, so i came over here and enjoyed what i read. i’d love for someone hipper than me (and that would be 99% of the universe) to link to me.

    i’m such a whore.

  122. I should be on your blogroll because I also have a 3 year old (and a 5 year old and a 13 year old and a 2 year old – I can’t say no to my husband:) and I have a not dead cat!

    Oh and #4 (except that I had never heard of technorati until I saw your blog).

    Kylie’s last blog post..Train of thought

  124. Fun yeah, I will!

    Also, yeah, this is a fun of a lot of comments. I had no idea this many people were reading and it’s kind of totally freaking me out. Apparently there is a big demand for information about cat man boobs that is not being filled.

  126. You totally know why you should add me.

    Because I have your back if you ever decide to kidnap Amy Sedaris. I’ll hold the rope. And the pillowcase.

    Because I would lend a wardrobe to a total stranger whose luggage was lost by the airline.

    Because I won’t take pictures of you to post on the internet when you get drunk and pass out in the Koi pond at Golden Gate Park at the next BlogHer. Well, not pictures with your face in them.

    Because I have no qualms about getting up in front of a room full of strangers and singing “To Sir With Love” in a faux-British accent during Karaoke Night. Or even if it wasn’t Karaoke Night. I think I’d do it for just a free beer. God, I’m cheap.

    Because I own a Sawzall and know how to use it to cut holes in walls. Which, you never know, could also come in handy with that Amy Sedaris caper.

    jm’s last blog post..Man Builds House for (approximately) $7800

  127. Oh, last one.

    Because we have both worked in HR and can tell awesome HR stories.

    Like the time that the Catering Director was caught, um, trysting with her boyfriend. On her desk. At dusk. In front of floor to ceiling windows. A window 15 feet above the sidewalk at the corner of Rush and Michigan Avenue in Chicago. And a crowd was gathering on the sidewalk outside.

    Good times. Good times.

    jm’s last blog post..In the Salt Mines

  135. Hell I should be on your blogroll too! Why? Well because I’m awesome of course. And because you’ve visited my blog a time or two, so that counts for something. I’m horrible at updating my blogroll too, so no, you’re not on it right now. But we can totally exchange blogroll listings. I’m down with that.

    doahleigh’s last blog post..My man

  136. OK, I totally understood when you got over a hundred comments before. You offered make-up sex and jewelry. But what the fun is up with this?

  137. Well you’re on my blogroll. But I don’t plan on asking/pleading/whoring myself out to get on yours.

    In fact, I don’t think I should be on it.

    But hey, your call.

  146. Jenny, let’s make this easier for you…

    Don’t add Flutter. I want to see the cinnamon roll trick. Road trip? Do you have a video camera? Mine was stolen in Boston (see? Boston again! People will do bad things with cameras and Rs there!)

    There. One less. Easier?

    And whew, TG Steph came back and fixed your to you’re. I was worried for our long-term friendship for a minute. (We can talk about her…she’s totally out of town and will never know.)

    Julie Pippert’s last blog post..5.3 million teen boys moving to Oklahoma, Texas

  147. …because I like reading your blog, that would be other…and #’s 2 & 8…thats it..

  150. Okay, I just discovered you (obviously I am a bit late to the game) and I could become a stalker because I have actually had the “like fun/like hell” thought many, many times. So obviously we’re soul sisters. And I totally agree with number 8. And I’d love to do a blogroll trade because you are much cooler than I am (and okay, my technorati needs help). So would that be number 4 or number 6? Maybe both.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Wanna Toke?

  151. Am I not because you don’t like me, or because I made you “work for it” at MDCQII? Or, perhaps you’ve totally forgotten about me yet again?! Hmm. *goes to find a teddy bear to mop up my tears*
    Oh, before I go, how about bribery…I can give you a free screen cleaner, so you can continue to see all the goodies on the internets!
    Here you go:
    http://cache.valleywag.com/assets/resources/screenclean.swf

    I hope you like it.

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..I want to go to Las Vegas!

  152. I just read every stinkin’ comment. I want to add all your readers to my blogroll. Like fun! It would take me days! I’ll just stalk them from your blogroll…

  153. I’ll bet right now that JennyTheBloggess is cowering under her computer table, shaking in terror at the sh*tstorm she has unleashed on the whole Internet. Then, just as she decides it is safe to come out… POOF! A bright light blinds her temporarily. As her vision returns, she sees the outline of a 3-year old, holding a camera and saying “Say CHEEZE, mommy!”

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Governors in Texas, Oklahoma close borders in response to invasion by hordes of horny teenage boys

  155. Oh my God, Ed. You nailed it. I am totally pee-shy now. How the hell am I supposed to blog when I know that this many hysterical people are here? It’s both overwhelmingly awesome and overwhelmingly what-the-fuck-some.

  156. Well, you just do it. Buck up sister. You’re easily as hillarious as all the other people out there, more so than most.

    FYI – I am now yelling at you, but softly cause I don’t like confrontation when other people are involved.

    Also, how does one start a “blogroll”? Cause you obviously have time to answer my questions.

    Michael’s last blog post..TT, that means Thursday Thirteen for the uninitiated.

  157. You will need categories or something because the poor people who are at the bottom of the list are going to be terribly neglected. People will wear out before they are able to scroll ALL the way down to the bottom.

    And you will probably break the Internet again.

    markira’s last blog post..Moon, Sun & Stars

  158. >Glad Bubba’s still alive. Is sitting a good >sign, or has he been doing that all along? Can >half-paralyzed cats sit or do they just fall >over?

    If a half-paralyzed cat falls over in the forest by himself, does anyone hear it?

    avonlea’s last blog post..Thursday Ten

  160. me me me!!! add me to your blog roll… please? i am fun, love freebies and need some more readers! can not think of any better reasons. do I need to? thanks for giving it a thought!!!
    Frugal Carol

    Frugal Finds’s last blog post..Friday….

  162. It’s hard for me to feel like “your special blog friend” when I check in and there are hundreds of comments (while I get excited over 5). I’m going to go sulk by myself in my wee little corner of the web.

    hehe I said “wee.”

  163. How I have missed you…

    Can not wait to make myself a cuppa tea and curl up and read of all your trials and certain tribulations…
    If it wasn’t for my blasted family and obligations that is what I would be doing RIGHT now… But in the meantime, glad I had a taste of your blogroll!

  167. Clearly I need to give you more reasons since I’m *sniffle!* not on the blogroll.

    I like cats, too! (Bring a tissue)
    I have also experienced Teh Crazy
    I have bizarre conversations with my husband, too!
    I’m a pretty good cook.
    My kids are really pretty cute?
    I randomly write about important things?

    I’m even occasionally funny and beg really nicely?

    Oh please! Oh please! Oh please! Pick me!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..Yup. we’re just like that

  168. Wow! I literally just discovered you tonight via the “Just Chicken Feed” blog.

    I really think you need to dig around my site and “discover” me! 🙂

    …plus I can spell!

    I’ll be back… but not like the terminator… just a reader!

    🙂 Beth

  171. You don’t want me on your blogroll…I’m too much of a wuss to even spell out naughty words on my blog…sad sad sad.
    That’s why I like stopping by yours…you usually say what I am thinking….which after reading a bit scares me a little now.

    Your cat rocks…do you have video of him hobbling around…not that I relish the misfortune of others…or cats…..nevermind.

    Have a great weekend*!*

    Dianna’s last blog post..Something fun/Something funny…to me anyway

  175. …oh yeah, I forgot to add because you’re funny…your stuff cracks me up…although, i don’t really blog….I read everyone else’s..lol..

  179. Number 7. Seriously. Put me on your blogroll or I’ll stalk the living shit out of you.

    P.S. Pretty please?

  180. I think it’s official, if I ever need a link to ANY blog in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, I just have to come here and click on your blogroll. Way to go. Many people have TRIED to index the internet, you have succeeded.

    Michael’s last blog post..Answers to TT

  184. I totally have comment envy as well.

    # 8 for me. Also, why is Gruene (small town in Texas) pronounced Green??

  186. Okay.

    I’ve been fretting and twittering (no, not Twittering, TradeMark pending; I’m talking about the old-school definition in which one fusses nervously and agitates all around her) about this for days now, wondering:

    Who am I?
    What is my message?
    What is the sound of one hand clapping?
    And last, but not least: am I worthy of a butt-slap on the Bloggess blogroll?

    I’d like to suggest that I could potentially BE, but for one teeny-weeny hitch:

    I have virtually abandoned writing anything on my blog in favor of reading the far funnier and cleverer shit from bloggers such as yourself.

    So, no new observations. No current events or photographs of those near and dear to me. And no promise of such anytime soon. But, you know, some of the old stuff’s okay.

    There you have it. That’s the full extent of my appeal for a slot on your blogroll for my sad and dusty Internet page. Do with it what you will.

    mrs. f5’s last blog post..Redux

  187. Mrs. F – You’re in. But only if you keep blogging, because I think you’re fabulous. Same for all the rest of you as well. I assumed I’d find several of you and say “God, how boring. She’s out.” but no. Either I have ridiculously low standards or I have fantastic readers.

    If you left a comment here, you’re on the roll. Unless I screwed up. Which is possible.

  189. Definitely #6. Discover us, dammit. I mean, it’s only fair – I discovered YOU today!

    Plus, we got skillz. Mad animated GIF skillz.

    Erica’s last blog post..New Skillz!

  191. Please forgive…I’m so new at this blogging stuff I didn’t realize you had commented on mine a week ago.

    Can I please pretty please be on the blogroll?
    Even if I can’t figure out how the hell to post a comment and will most likely post this multiple times until I figure it out?

    Plus I have two cats that voluntarily live in my bathtub…so there’s that.

    Miss Yvonne’s last blog post..HOLY SHIT!

  192. Does it count that you are on my blogLINES not blogROLL? I never updated the blogroll. Maybe I should spend even more time on the blog scene updating blogrolls.

    Sorry about your puddytat.

    Robinella’s last blog post..Day One.

  193. I just realized I’m totally ON your blogroll and I didn’t even need to bribe you?! I’m totally honored. Even though from time to time I do say Libary and don’t even correct other people when they do too. (Don’t kick me off now!)

    Binkytown’s last blog post..Slipping

  195. 1) You don’t really need to add me to your blogroll, I just wanted to make a couple of points….

    2) I think Phoenix should actually be spelled Pheenix, since the “o” is silent and I think silent letters are utterly useless. Like in mnemonic. WTF, m? Anyway.

    3) Your blog is incredibly entertaining. You should feel proud because in the past 4 or 5 days I have successfully made it through 87 pages of posts as a result of not studying for final exams, that’s how hilarious I think you are. Way to make a dying college student* happy. I fully intend to make it through many many more pages in the next week and a half (I would say something like 4189163 pages, but I don’t actually know how many pages there are and I’m pretty sure it’s not quite that many).

    *I’m not actually dying. Just kind of dying from sleep deprivation. Oh, the life of a college kid.

  196. i think i qualify for “6. You have a hysterical blog and I need to discover you.”
    how will we work this out? are you still doin the blogroll thang? do i need to send you some kind of utterly weird present through the mail? because i would. and it would definitely not explode or anything. i could also maybe send you that 8 kilos of uncut cocaine or whatever. i’m kidding about that, but you never know. we could work something out.

  197. I went to a venture scout unit that was called 4th Pheonix and we had two leaders who disagreed about spelling and there were major arguments about the spelling of Pheonix which I think might have once resulted in a dictionary being thrown.

    It is definitely spelt Pheonix because that’s how it is pronounced and the spelling lends itself to snazzy roundels being in the middle of the word (we were air scouts who learnt how planes fly and shit). BUT Embers (the leader who disagreed with us all) has a conspiracy with every dictionary and spell checker to make everyone but him look wrong.

    This is definitely a fact and not something we decided to make ourselves feel better.

  198. I wonder what the odds are of this offer still being good…6-ish years later?
    My reason? That I’m always trying to work toward my dream of writing from home in a constant quest to stop wearing pants like an adult. Dare to dream!
    And also that I’m deeply in love with this blog and I’m having a star-struck moment at the thought of linking to THE Bloggess!

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This month’s book club picks are fire. For @fantasticstrangelings we have Lucky Red by @claudia.cravens and for @nightmaresfromnowhere we’re sending you Dead Eleven by @jimmyjulianobooks
Advice from Dorothy Barker: Go outside and find the sunset. Touch the grass. Bark at squirrels. Pee aggressively while staring at the neighbors. Eat a bug. The usual.
Instagram makes suggested reels based on old content and I assume most people have beautiful vacation photos or wedding compilations, but this is what they suggested for me.
Sitting in ihop after graduation and “who’s gonna drive you home” comes over the sound system and now I’m lightly weeping into my pancakes but I’M FINE.

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Game Night Kit: All-in-one classic card game kits make the perfect gift, but you’ll want them for yourself, too! Lets skip book club tonight, drink wine & play games instead ~time together is magic!

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Perfectionist Anonymous: Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression and hilarity on the side.

Active Voice Productions  made a cool little movie with a role they wanted The Bloggess for but instead got Bonnie Hunt. Seriously. That’s what happened.

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

The Second: Colleen Burns Durda’s candid memoir about a suburban mom with a side hustle-she’s The Second Coming. Laugh, cry and learn how she copes with her bipolar diagnosis.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

The Family Skeptical Podcast: We’re an atheist couple raising two children – we ask big questions, dissect weird parenting moments, and are jealous that our cats get so much sleep.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: Just read it. Trust me.

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