UPDATED: Obama Fever = better than Dengue Fever, not quite as good as Boogie Fever.

 

So tomorrow I’m taking off work to go to an inauguration party thrown by Oatmeal.  Because when you think of Obama you think of oatmeal.  Or something.  I don’t really know where the tie-in is.  All I know is that my friend Karen got a call from Big Oatmeal telling her to round up her girlfriends because they want to make us oatmeal.  While we watch the inauguration.  And then later we get our picture taken with a giant cardboard cut-out of the Quaker Oats guy.  I am not making any of this up.

Basically it’s like a nintendo party but with oatmeal.  Honestly, I could not think of a product less likely to have a party based around it.  Like maybe a bunch of ad executives were sitting around thinking of the worst possible idea for a product tie-in and the first one’s all “How about a party where women get to try out the latest paper towels?” and the second one’s like “Yeah, except replace ‘paper towels’ with ‘maxi-pads'” and then the first guy is all “No, wait.  How ’bout an OATMEAL PARTY?” and then guy #2 is like “Meh” and then the first guy is all “DURING THE PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION“.   And then the second one is all “High five, bro.  You win.  That’s the dumbest fucking idea ever” and then the third ad exec comes in and he’s wearing a top hat and a monocle because he’s like the boss of the other ad execs and he’s all “Dumber like a fox!  We are totally going to do that idea and it will be so awesome that the New York Times will write about it” and then that totally actually happened

Anyway, I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do at an inauguration party but I’m bringing booze and also I wrote the lyrics to the National Anthem on my hand in case I have to sing it.  I’ll be updating the blog throughout the day with my thoughts on political junk.  Also, I heard that there will be TV crews at Karen’s house which is awesome because I’ve wanted to say the F word on National TV for like, ever.  Also, I just want to reiterate that this is an amazing, solemn occasion and I for one can’t wait to toast our new president.  With oatmeal.  Apparently.

PS.  It just occurred to me that this could be some sort of sting, like when they tell wanted felons that they won a boat and then when the felon goes to pick it up it’s all police dogs and mace.  If I don’t update this post it’s probably because all of this is some sort of elaborate set-up.  And then when the police arrest me John McCain jumps out and is all “Seriously?  You thought the black guy won?!”   That would totally suck.

UPDATE – 6:30am:  Fox news is here live-broadcasting us live-blogging about being live-broadcasted.  I was all “You guys must be so fucking sad today”.  They totally are.  Also, there’s no oatmeal here at all yet.  Mood:  disappointed.

UPDATE – 6:45am:  Happy Katie, Chookooloonks, Katherine Center and Jodi Bash from The Journey are all here.  The news guy was just about to interview me at 8am and I mentioned that my granny is all “I wish Jenny would just blog about kittens and not about killing them” and then the news guy is all “Huh.  So…maybe time to up the medications?” and I’m all “Oh, I’m already mixing a bunch of medications” and he’s all “Oh.  Usually people are just kidding about that” and then like two minutes later he’s like “You know…maybe we’ll interview the religion blogger instead”.  It’s probably a good choice.

UPDATE – 7am: Me:  “The last time I was on fox news I was naked wearing only a  bed sheet.”   News guy : “I’m sorry, what?”.  Me:  “Are you sure you don’t want me to talk?  Because I have a lot to say about this inauguration shit.”  Him:  “Pretty sure..pretty sure.”

UPDATE – 8:50 am:  Motherfucker.  There is no giant oatmeal cut-out guy.  Instead we have the Quaker guys head on a stick.  Also there’s no oatmeal here at all. 

Mood:  Completely disillusioned.

UPDATE – 8:55am:  Laura just arrived with booze.  Mood:  Less pissed off.

UPDATE – 9:30am :  The oatmeal is here.  Fucking finally.  Apparently we have an oatmeal caterer and he’s pouring us all champagne.  Also something is important happening with Obama today.  I’m like the best political pundit ever.

UPDATE  – 11:00 :  CBS is here.  My laptop has crashed.  I blame Bush.  Also, if I was Obama I would totally be high right now and I would stab someone when I was coming down off the podium.  And I’d be all “What’re you gonna do?  Arrest me?  I’M THE FUCKING PRESIDENT.”  I wouldn’t stab anyone important though.  And I’d just stab them in the leg so it wouldn’t be fatal.  Because I’m all about mercy.  Also, everytime they show Bush listening to Obama he looks like he’s lost in his own dream world.  He’s probably all “How many ponies should I have?  I think a lot.”

UPDATE 12:56pm – The CW is here now.  I just got my first interview and I mentioned how awesome it would be if tomorrow Obama was all “And I’m also GAY, bitches” and then he’s the first gay President and then he get’s a sex change and he’s the first transgendered president and then the interviewer is all “That’s a lot of pressure” and I’m all “Well, he could stretch it out over a few months.  He doesn’t have to do it all the first week.”  I’m pretty sure they’re going to make me some kind of news anchor.

UPDATE (I don’t know what time it is) – The news did not use any part of my interview.  Also, the inauguration has just ended and already the backlash and political infighting has begun.  What was it Obama said about this kind of aggression?  That we will extend our hand to you if you will  just unclench your damn fist, and then we will kick you in the groin while you’re still looking at our hand?  That’s what I heard.

Comment of the day: When I was little, I thought that the Quaker Oats guy was Benjamin Franklin. Or that Benjamin Franklin was the Quaker Oats guy. The concept was kind of scary to me, just another in a long list of Things Adults Did that I’d maybe eventually figure out later. ~kristy

179 thoughts on “UPDATED: Obama Fever = better than Dengue Fever, not quite as good as Boogie Fever.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Don’t get too oatfaced too early. I will be at work during the inauguration which means I will have to get all my information from online sources, and that means I will be RIGHT HERE hitting F5 for like 2 hours straight.

    Jim Porter’s last blog post..Results not typical

  2. I’m jealous. I get to test the thickness and durability of Huggies wipes while watching snippets of the inauguration when/if that bitch Dora goes to commercial.

    And by testing the durability of wipes, I mean, in production, not in safety of a testing environment. Talk about a shitty way to celebrate a great moment.

    Undomestic Diva’s last blog post..This ‘hurry up and wait’ thing is bullshit

  3. Why do they write “where women who write so-called mommy blogs” in that article? It sounds like you say you are writing mommy blogs but actually are writing secret evil code blogs or something. That or someone is really bitter about mommy blogs.

    I guess the breakfast you will be serving is the booze? Yum!

    Megan’s last blog post..dear universe,

  4. Ohhhh, that is so funny. And odd.

    I, too, was invited to a morning inauguration party, but had to turn it down because I’m giving a workshop tomorrow morning on budget grocery shopping. This has to be the only morning of my stay-at-home mom life when I had two different engagements on a Tuesday morning.

    Carrie’s last blog post..Are We Mad at Our Husbands or at All this Stuff?

  5. When I think of you, first thing that comes to mind is wholesome goodness, just like Quaker oatmeal.

    Wait…I mean the LAST thing that comes to mind is wholesome goodness…oopsie!

    You’re taking Min with you, aren’t you?

  6. I got Star Warsed at one party and in a few weeks I get to find out how Ziploc bags work. Or something. My kids got Jedi socks at the Star Wars party, so I’m wondering what I’ll get at the Ziploc one. A body bag?

    Crystal R. R. Edwards’s last blog post..No joke.

  7. So, wait, do I get this right? The monocle is ultimately the verifying source of the bad idea? Because, you see, my friend–after two months or so of acquaintance–bought me a monocle. Prescription for my right eye.

    But that was pretty much after all the major bad decisions of my life. Like deciding to jump off a staircase onto a couch during my first week at college [which broke my T-12 vertebra]. Or like deciding to go to medical school [which broke my will to live].

    jb’s last blog post..Losing a Whole Year, Gaining Something Else

  8. When I was little, I thought that the Quaker Oats guy was Benjamin Franklin. Or that Benjamin Franklin was the Quaker Oats guy. The concept was kind of scary to me, just another in a long list of Things Adults Did that I’d maybe eventually figure out later.

    I don’t know when I figured out he’s just some Quaker guy, except even as a grown-up I tend to confuse “Quaker” with “Amish” and so I still don’t really know who this man is or why he’s so god damned happy about his fucking oatmeal.

    Sorry. My point was going to be something about how I also think oatmeal is basically papier-mache in food form, and I think it would make complete sense if you blew up a balloon and covered it in oatmeal for the NYT people. That would help those “old media” reporters understand how clever we bloggers really are.

    Sorry again. I’m not sure why I thought* I should comment with all this.

    p.s. Should you be making Oat-bama puns?

    (*Don’t know if you saw my tweet about having a horrible cold and not being able to take cold medicine (because I seem to be pregnant), but my acupuncturist (yes, I have one) (I live in San Francisco) (her name is “Tiffinie”) (spelled that way) gave me Loquat & Fritillary Jelly and maybe it’s making me just a little imbalanced. Go Obama!)

    kristy’s last blog post..Probably Exactly What I Should Be Blogging About

  9. It would be awesomer if it was a ‘gruel’ party. Cause apparently they are like the same thing, but Inauguration gruel sounds way creepier. And Emo.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Smigglicious

  10. Isn’t the Quaker Oats guy Wilford Brimley? Isn’t he the dia-BEATUS guy, too? It’s a trap. You show up for a delicious bowl of oatmeal, and you end up signing on for Liberty Medical supplies because you now have the beatus!

  11. Ooooooh. Liberty Medical on inauguration day. The conspiracy begins to unfold. This means that Wilford Brimley is going to end up as one of the 36 pictures of people you’re following in the bottom right of twitter. It logically follows that he is the person who controls the world’s banking system and decides how much gas costs. DAYUM!

  12. I heard times were tough and that this is how people are cutting their coke, but it sounds like a lot of work to me. Even if you start with the quick oats, you have a whole lot of blade work to do or you’ll clog your straw.

    My advice: pick up a McDonald’s straw–they’re thicker. And take photos…oatmeal crust on the Houston A-list all Scarface style.

    http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w46/teenhuik152/scarface-photo-xl-scarface-6235696.jpg

    deb on the rocks’s last blog post..Out, out damned Bush! Wax on, wax out!

  13. Do be sure to bring some cucumber slices for your eyes, just in case this turns out to be an oatmeal facial party. You wouldn’t want to be the one dumbass who actually arrives with a spoon, now would you? Thankfully, you can easily stash that spoon (which of course you are bringing just in case it is NOT an oatmeal facial party) in your cute little cucumber-sized handbag — which of course you will be carrying because there is absolutely no place to store anything in your bathrobe. What, you thought you should wear clothes? Just because it’s an inauguration doesn’t mean ball-gown, sweetie. What do you wear for a spa facial? A bathrobe. What do you wear when you eat breakfast? A bathrobe. I rest my case. Those Quaker Oats guys will probably be in dress socks, boxers and ratty sweatshirts. Just you see if they aren’t.

    Have fun.

  14. >>It just occurred to me that this could be some sort of sting, like when they tell wanted felons that they won a boat

    I am pretty sure that only happens on The Simpsons.

  15. I think every boss ever should wear a top hat and monocle.

    Also being Punk’d by McCain would be the worst.

  16. Oatmeal really? I hope it’s like the Starbucks oatmeal where you can choose two toppings. If that’s the case totally go for the vodka and painkillers. If you get an extra topping I’d pick a muscle relaxer.

    If you’re not into those, please mail them to Utah. As we only have Prozac here. Thanks!

  17. You are just going to be around oatmeal right? You are not actually going to be anywhere near Obama right?

    Seriously if you try to give Obama dead mitten kittens in D.C. …just use your imagination…no please don’t.

    Cedarflame’s last blog post..The 5 Questions

  18. 2 things..

    1. I clicked on the link hoping it was a story about the monocle guy. I’m very disappointed.

    2. I bet that vanilla vodka would be awesome on the oatmeal.

  19. You’re not going to believe this, but I was eating oatmeal (Quaker, in fact) while I was reading this post. If that doesn’t say, “Lunasea should have been invited,” I don’t know what does.

    Lunasea’s last blog post..Promises, Promises

  20. I like that cucumber idea from a few comments back. Maybe I’ll bring a basket of cucumbers. Cause I’m planning to be there, too. Before sunrise! If I don’t sleep through my alarm.

    Hope you are well! See you there! Go Obama! Go Oats!

    katherine center’s last blog post..see y’all there

  21. You soooo have to sneak out the cardboard cut out of the Quaker Oats guy and then, when your husband falls asleep, pull it out of the closet and set it up right next to his side with like a night light behind it…you get where I’m going with this right?

    Brandy’s last blog post..I’m Sure I’m Not The Only One

  22. I’m with Chag above– they definitely want you all to wrestle in the oatmeal. The message is:

    “Just like presidents, all the sexy ladies of the world look the same when covered in oatmeal for no apparent reason.

    “So buy Quaker Oats whenever you feel the need to demonstrate this to the thickheaded and intolerant among us who still don’t grasp this fundamental fact.”

    LiteralDan’s last blog post..A conversation with my kids: Just can’t let that slide

  23. I think your friend “Karen” is really Oprah, because she’s always talking to the Oz about how much she loves oatmeal and how they have an oatmeal bar at Harpo.

  24. I’m Canadian, and *I* will be watching the inauguration. Possibly with oatmeal, but more likely with a glass of my favourite wine, toasting the beginning (we ALL hope) of four (hopefully eight!) years of brighter days.

    Congratulations, USA… we Canucks (well most of us anyway) think you have a winner there!!

    Rae’s last blog post..the big ’10’

  25. Since it is an Obama inauguration you will need all the alcohol to brace your system for the huge infusion of HOPE you are about to receive. If you don’t you’ll turn into a butterfly, regardless of the oatmeal.

  26. I hope they bother to make it from scratch. It would be totally classless to invite you to an oatmeal party and then serve instant.

  27. An oatmeal party with no oatmeal? It’s a trap! Sidle over to the door then make a run for it!

  28. Hmmm… “killing kittens” is what we call masturbating in our household. Tell THAT to yo grandma.

  29. …Awesome. No strike out needed.

    Also, I think it would be totally appropriate if you were to fling oatmeal at a camera when you finally get it. Just to show your enthusiasm. That is, if they even trust you to have it, which they totally should as long as ‘News Guy’ isn’t in charge of oatmeal distribution.

  30. Oh great now I totally want some oatmeal but I don’t have any instant oatmeal in the house and it’s snowing so the roads are a mess so I’m not going to the store but it looks like I’ve got some rolled oats and there’s cooking instructions on the box and I’ve got some brown sugar so it looks like I’m in luck. Nevermind.

    Steve’s last blog post..Bananas

  31. Jenny, you should definitely be working in advertising, because you could come up with better ideas. An oatmeal party? Strange. Though it is better than what a McCain inauguration party would have been — I don’t think Wheaties; it would have been prunes!

    avonlea’s last blog post..Obamania!

  32. i’m going to say what everyone else isn’t saying…

    “I fuck oatmeal, and I’m not ashamed.”

    Ok, so i was the only one… hmm… well, good deal about the president you know… getting in.

    furiousBall’s last blog post..positive sexy energy

  33. they’re playing that little musical number thing. first of all, people named “yo yo” should not be allowed to become famous. second, all those flags in the background are wrong. what’s up with that?

  34. highway: Bush’s term expired at noon. Technically, Biden became president at that point since he was sworn in before noon. He was president for a whole five minutes. I wonder if that counts.

    Steve’s last blog post..U-Fizz

  35. Blogher’s advertisement: “Start Talking Before They Start Drinking”…

    !!

    I think they may be trying to undermine you…

  36. Finally, some interesting coverage of the Obama coronation, or is a Quinceañera? Whatever. What flavors of oatmeal are there?

  37. I had the same visual about what W was thinking about while he was sitting around except in my head it was my little ponies. running free. free roaming my little ponies.

    because i think W thinks in cartoons.

  38. He’s probably all “How many ponies should I have? I think a lot.”

    We totally noticed this too. I whispered to Bryan during the speech that Bush clearly doesn’t understand half of what Obama is saying.

    Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..Happy Obama Day!

  39. You’re amazing Jenny. Only YOU could spin the inauguration like this…and get away with it.

    Man, I wish I was with you………..!

    xoxo

  40. So, the world is waiting to find out: Did you mix bourbon into your oatmeal? Good stuff, right? I’ll never steer you wrong, Jenny. You know that.

  41. When you first told me about the Oatmeal Party on the phone, I was all “that’s kinda LAME. Glad I don’t have to go to something as lame as that.” NOW you tell me there is booze and media? FUCKING THE HELL? SO JEALOUS.

    p.s. call me.

    Y’s last blog post..Beautiful Baby Girl

  42. I like reading your posts backwards. They totally have hidden meanings like that one album by KISS, which they actually called Knights In Satan’s Service when freaks wanted to ban that album. And when I say album, I mean RECORD. Yes.

    Anyways, I didn’t have to have a heart attack that you weren’t getting any booze to get through this morning because I started at the end first. Yay me. I’m brilliant.

    Also, so much Yay for now President Obama. And really, I didn’t know his middle name was Hussein until today. I just though McCain’s peeps were being fuckers. Sorry I bad mouthed you.

    AmyAnne’s last blog post..Dating With 3 Children

  43. Is it evil that I’m amused at all these white senators dropping like flies. As if their tickers couldn’t take the shock of a black president. It’s a great day!

    Lotta’s last blog post..Moral Dilemma

  44. Did they at least give you,like, a special inauguaral box of oats…or meal..or something? Then it would be totally worth it. I mean who doesn’t want a souvenir box of oatmeal.

  45. Totally diggin’ the picture. The funky blue and red one, not the oatmeal guy on a stick one- well, I mean, I do like that one too actually. Except if you going to parody the Obama picture, you need to have a more messiah-like look on your face.

    This oatmeal party sounds WAY better than all of the oatmeal parties I’ve ever been to put together. And THAT is saying something.

    Beth’s last blog post..He’s still her hero

  46. I cant decipher whether or not the oatmeal was plain…I see others mentioning flavors, sugar, etc but its hard to tell. I also checked my junk box to see if I missed the invitation…whew.

  47. Holy shit – you’re funny and so warped. I know you know that. You’ll never read this comment but I too was at an Oatmeal party to celebrate this historic day. I didn’t give the Oatmeal as much thought as you until the morning ended with a 4-year-old barfing up a whole shitload of oatmeal and a 3-year-old literally shitting all over the carpet due to some antibiotics he was taking – and probably the oatmeal.

    I wish I had been interviewed.

    Lee the MWOB Queen’s last blog post..T.T. – The Supermom Spectrum

  48. What’s up with the oatmeal getting there late? You could have done a complete facial during the preparations for the oath of office. And taken an oatmeal bath. Speaking of baths, my cat who is now dead (and not available for mittens) used to love jumping in the tub to lick the walls after I took oatmeal baths. I didn’t do that often, just after encounters with poison ivy, to which I am hella allergic (worst case my doctor ever saw). I don’t think that’s what killed him, though.

    mrtl’s last blog post..Bug Said "Fuck" Today and I Totally Laughed

  49. Clearly this entire post is a lie; that wasn’t Aretha Franklin, that was you, Jenny. Who else would sing “My cunt…..ry, ’tis of thee” on national television?

  50. like i know we got a new president and all, but how was the oatmeal? my daughter really likes the dinosaur eggs oatmeal, but we just moved to mass, and they’re a bunch of massholes, and we can’t get it anymore.

  51. Oatmeal, Booze, and stabbings. Sounds like a typical Brunch at casa de los cIII.

    Sometimes I put dried dates in it. The stab wounds, that is. Not the oatmeal. That would be fucked up.

    cIII’s last blog post..Representation

  52. I WAS feeling good and said so on my blog until some bitch calling herself “DEFENDUSA” came and crapped all over my parade. She probably went AWOL from the FOX NEWS pity party. Anyway, she gave me shit for being happy and demanded to know exactly why I felt things hadn’t been so hot before…you know…when our state’s former “goober”-natorial washout became the 43rd Prez. And I was all…ohhh…I dunno…because he can’t pronounce NEW-CLEE-YUR for one thing. And for another? Well…my list is too long. She was harshing my buzz, but then I realized that my guy won the election and felt immediately better. And he looks good good. And when he and his wife stand together, you know they’ve got it going on and neither has that pinched look that let’s you know Laura’s probably going to start smoking again any day now and GWB’s wondering when he can get alone to “clear brush” and drink from his Happy Flask again without people breathing down his neck. That is all.

    apathy lounge’s last blog post..R-E-S-P-E-C-T. At long last.

  53. I thought it, and then someone already said it, but that was like over a hundred comments ago, so you probably forgot or the next person who comments is probably the only person who’s going to read this comment anyway because they just skipped to the end and didn’t look to see if someone already thought what they thought, like I did.

    Why are we “so-called” mommy bloggers? I know forget it. Not even going to get into the whole who’s a mommy blogger, what’s a mommy blogger, bloggity blah blah I’m too cool for labels. It’s the so-called I’m stuck on. What’s that guy’s problem? (I’m asking you, Jenny, because you have connections so I expect you can find this out. Maybe Guy Kawasaki knows? Does he like oatmeal? Did anyone invite him to an oatmeal party?)

    I don’t like oatmeal much and I think they should have worked harder to make the whole Quaker connection make sense because seriously? It doesn’t.

  54. You had Nintendo for breakfast? I’m confused. And what’s with the funny looking lollipop?

    I think you should stick to killing cats, it’s what you do best.

  55. OMG…all I hears was “female” “transgender” and a lot of laughing. Oh and “i’ve had a lot to drink…”

  56. You didn’t miss much. Basically after our host (Karen of chookooloonks) demanded that I not speak to any members of the media at her inauguration party I waited until she left the room and then told the camera guy to interview me and take me completely seriously in spite of the fact that I was proposing that if Obama really loved America he’d become the first gay, transgendered male-to-female President and really give us all the firsts this country deserves. I kept waiting for Karen to rush in and pull me away but she just kind walks behind him giving me this look of “WTF?!” and then at around the one minute markshe walks by the camera with a look like “Oh fucking Christ”. Which was very funny. To me. Also, I’m not that fat. That camera is clearly broken.

  57. OMG. I don’t know why I hadn’t read this yet. But oh my fucking gawd. This made my morning, thanks. Because I was kinda being a little bitchy.

    Oh, and Mr. Galavanting thanks you too.

  58. “We will extend our hand to you if you unclench your fist, and then we will kick you in the groin while you’re looking at our hand.”

    That sounds like something Dwight would say if he were being sworn into office….

    Lisa’s last blog post..We Have A New President!!!

  59. Thank god the party was only for an inauguration and it wasn’t anything political or serious or having to do with government or leaders. . . it might have gotten ugly.
    Although I did hear that in a pinch, oatmeal works very well as a Kevlar substitute . . you just need it 48 inches thick on your body. Worth remembering for next time.

  60. I think we were seperated at birth. I only wish I were there to egg you on, because if I were, you totally would have mentioned your vagina. And actually I thought you looked totally hot- not even remotely fat. But good to know.

  61. Oh my fucking god. I just finished my laundry before I read this post, and now I have to go BACK and re-wash all my drawers cause you had me laughing so hard…and we all know moms with 2 or more kids have NO bladder control.

    Damn it.

    (Thanks for the giggles chick!)

  62. Ok, so you are probably never going to get around to reading comment #159, but whatever…

    I just wanted to tell you that I tried clicking on your blog for Obama / oatmeal updates at work, and it came up FORBIDDEN. Which is weird, cause only porn and social sites are banned–so is your blog some sort of freaky social porn machine that I don’t know about?

    Also? To have a blog that triggers the work computer’s Russian Communist censor is awesome.

    Jaci’s last blog post..Meet the Real Jaci

  63. Well, I think the monocle guy was really that peanut dude. Trying to bust a move (like he does on TV) and harm the wholesomeness of Quaker Oats.

  64. I can’t even imagine the brand team brainstorming that went into this “House Party”. Oatmeal? Champagne? It’s like living it up at the senior center! Then again, here we are talking about it. It apparently worked.

  65. Jenny, I hope this doesn’t come across as whiny or needy, but I’m having a day that is dominated by pain and painkillers (the latter of which don’t seem to do much about the pain, per se, although they do strive to make me too tired to care), and I’m sitting here at work despite it all, drooling quietly at my desk and trying to avoid responsibilities, and I keep checking here because I could use a bit of sunshine and, well, damn it, there’s nothing new to capture my attention except for the Oatmeal Party which was, of course, a lot of fun but is Old News by now and just doesn’t brighten my spirits the way it did yesterday. So, if it isn’t too much trouble, and if you aren’t too busy or uninspired, please write something clever and witty and urbane to ease the anguish of these torturing hours.

    Yeah, that sounded both whiny AND needy. Sorry about that. Sadly, it is easier to press “submit comment” than it is to delete all this text. I apologize for my laziness, for which I blame the drugs.

    Tom, the weary Rambles.NET guy

  66. and now the comics curmudgeon has posted on wonkette about obama stabbing somebody and then hiding behind the presidency to get away with it.

    hmm. kinda suspicious.

  67. Hey, I am in an almost empty airport, reading your blog and laughing out loud and I am expecting men in white coats to come around the corner any minute because people are looking at me weird.

  68. I’m only allowed on the interwebbinesses unsupervised during hours very late at night — so maybe *you’d* like to explain to my wife why she wuz woken up just now by fits of hysterical laughter…

    (Also, I don’t eat oatmeal unless it’s flavored with Tootsie Pops or bite-size Butterfingers — and JSYK, the corpses of all my kitties go directly to a funeral pyre I keep in the backyard so their souls can ascend ASAP into feline-Valhalla…)

    Andrew Ironwood’s last blog post..*Real* Money Balances On PokerStars To Date

  69. Pingback: Good Mom / Bad Mom
  70. Thankyou for linking back to this. That was amazing, you are amazing.
    I can’t believe they didn’t even use any of your footage!
    ;P

  71. You are so awesome! I do not suppose I’ve truly read through anything like this before. So wonderful to find another person with unique thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality!|

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