Just got back from the Mom 2.0 Summit and it was awesome and terrible, like a tidal wave of French lotion you can’t afford. I’m too exhausted to write about it properly but it was pretty much like every other conference I’ve been asked to be on a panel for: You’re so terrified you give yourself hysterical laryngitis, the promoters make you drink a entire mug of warm honey because they hate you, you put on your confidence wig so if you fuck the panel up you can pretend it was someone else, at the last minute the moderator announces he’s hired an actor to do an interpretive reading from your blog and he screams about Jesus & semen in the style of Jerry Falwell, audience members unexpectedly throw vibrators across the room, blah, blah, blah.
Here’s a small peek until I recover enough to write the rest: (I’m the blonde crying in the back.)
PS. To be totally honest, this was the first time I’ve ever been asked to speak on a panel but I’m pretty sure this is all standard. It must have been pretty awesome though because afterward some people were so impressed they couldn’t even look me in the eye. Then later someone told me that now I’d have to beat off all the other promoters looking for chicks to speak at conferences and I was all “I don’t trade hand jobs for speaking engagements. I’m a professional“. Then someone else was talking about our social responsibility to use our blogs to help others and I felt guilty so I handed out printed copies of my blog posts to babies because they don’t even have enough muscle control to scroll. It’s pretty much like working with the disabled except more noble because babies will never subscribe to your blog. Babies are like the lepers that didn’t come back to Jesus after he cured them.
PPS. More to come once I’ve recovered unless I get distrac-ooh, dust!
Best euphamism for vagina in a comment: I don’t think I’ve ever used the word vagina in my bog. That’s probably why you’re an international superstar, and I’m just a sad mommy blogger. I’ve got to talk more about my vajango. ~ Hippo Brigade