I’m alive. Got back from my Navy trip yesterday and I’m still exhausted and trying to sober up but I figured you guys would be worried if you didn’t hear from me so here’s a quick taste of what happened:
I got on a plane with Guy Kawasaki, Dennis Hall, Charlene Li, Beth Blecherman, Jen Leo, Pamela Slim, Andrew Nystrom, Jennifer Van Grove, Jennifer Jones, Bill Reichert, Jefferson Wagner, Robert Scoble, Andy Sernovitz and Neptunus Lex and we landed quite violently on the USS Nimitz aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean but I was kind of too high to remember most of it except that we were in some sort of mail plane I think, and it looked like the inside of Han Solo’s ship except with less wookies:
Then I commandeered a gun and then they tried to take it back and I explained that I’d feel safer holding on to it just in case Tommy Lee Jones comes on board and I can’t find the chef…
…and they gave me a weird look because I guess not everyone in the Navy has seen Under Siege, which seemed suspect to me and I joked that they were probably all actually Russian Communists but then they gave me an even weirder look which just confirmed my suspicions but then later when I was in the brig I realized that I was accidentally combining Under Siege and The Hunt for Red October into one movie, which actually would probably be a kick-ass movie. I’d call it The Hunt for the Siege of Red October, part II: Sharkey’s Revenge. That way people would think it must be awesome because why else would they make a sequel?
I had a lot of time to think about it.
PS. Real post about all of this coming.
PPS. I adored the people on that ship so much it shocked me and can never thank them enough for letting come join their family for the weekend. Also, if whichever one of those Koreas is being a bastard hurts them in any way I will lose. my. shit. Seriously, Korea. Stop being an asshole.
PPPS. I just posted probably my best advice ever on my advice column. Long story short in case you think you’re too good to read the whole thing: Stop fucking bears.
Comment of the day: Why is Goose written on your hand? Is that because you’re hoping Tom Cruise will come and save you from the brig? Don’t you know that Goose dies in the end? I’m just saying. ~ Becky Mochaface