Conversation with Victor at the resale bookstore:
Victor: You are not allowed to buy that book.
me: The fuck I’m not.
Victor: You’re depressed enough as it is. Go pick out something happy.
me: It’s a comic book, for God’s sake.
Victor: It’s a comic book about the holocaust.
me: Yes, but all the characters are mice and cats and they’re fucking adorable.
me: Look, I’ve already read the first book and I need to know what happens in part two. I’ve been emotionally hijacked by this “Maus” story for the last year.
Victor: Remember that time when I had to hide all your Sylvia Path books from you?
me: This is nothing like that. It’s a comic book and I’m buying it.
2 hours later…
Victor: What’s wrong, mopey?
me: I’m sad.
me: …about the holocaust.
Victor: I FUCKING TOLD YOU!
me: I know but I thought it would have a happy ending.
Victor: IT’S A BOOK ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST.
me: Can I have a hug?
Victor: No. If I give you a hug you’ll never learn.
me: But I’ll feel better if you just hug me.
Victor: No. I’m mad at you.
me: You’re mad at me?! I’M ALREADY UPSET ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. I don’t need your judgement right now.
Victor: You brought this on yourself.
me: Just tell me that there won’t be a holocaust.
Victor: Dude. There already was a holocaust. You just. fucking. read. about it.
me: I meant ANOTHER holocaust, obviously.
Victor: *sigh* Fine. There won’t be another holocaust. Better?
me: No, because you’re not really saying it like you mean it.
Victor: Just get out.
Comment of the day: I would *so* hug you. Not just because you’re sad about the Holocaust, but because I have a deep-seated urge to hold you in my arms, sing you a lullaby and hopefully steal a glimpse of your boobs. But I’m torn because I was raised Jewish, so *you* should probably be hugging *me* about the Holocaust. Sigh. The stupid Holocaust is coming between us. Thanks again, Hitler. ~ alonewithcats