Dear internets, it’s once again time for my mandatory Blogher post. I’ll make it short, I swear.
If you aren’t going to the Blogher conference, no worries. I spend most of my time hiding in my room or in a public bathroom so technically you could just hide in your bedroom at home and simulate the whole thing. Except that to make it a true experience you need to share one bed with several other girls and you have to pretend that you’re always happy and that you never have to poop. That’s basically the whole conference. Plus booze. Also, my roomie Laura and I were comparing all of the private parties that we didn’t get invited to and we decided that we would host an imaginary private party so that when you see people tweeting about some awesome party you weren’t invited to you can make them jealous with your own personal party tweets and we will totally back you up. If you claim to see me throwing flaming furniture out of a hotel room inexplicably filled with rare Brazilian lizards I won’t deny it because that’s pretty much exactly the kind of thing you expect to see at #vaginapalooza10. You’ve just been invited. No vagina necessary.
If you are at Blogher then come find me because I spend most of my time alone in bathrooms. I’m co-hosting the People’s Party again this year but as usual I probably won’t see the inside of the party and will most likely be in a bathroom outside of the party hanging out with the irresponsible people who didn’t RSVP on time. On Friday I’m doing “performance art” at the Kirtsy party and popping into the Serenity Suite when I get too overwhelmed. Then Saturday I’m speaking about when it’s okay to lie (summary: It’s not) and then Saturday night I’ll be at the Volstead and at the SexIs party at the Warwick. (Both of those are totally open to non-blogher attendees, btw. No RSVP necessary. Just come if you want.) As always, I will be a mess and cannot be held responsible for anything that I say or do and I apologize in advance for whatever ill-advised thing I convince you to do. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.
Also, every year I wear a confidence wig (or two) because I’m scared of people and it helps me pretend that I’m someone else but this year my friend Karen insisted that I need to stop wearing confidence wigs because I need to just be myself with my own bad hair but I’m pretty sure she’s just saying that because she’s never had bad hair but I’m taking her advice and this year I’m making a compromise.
PS. I just did spell-check and it told me that “Blogher” isn’t a real word but that “#vaginapalooza10” totally was. Awesome. Spellcheck’s totally coming to the party.
Comment of the day: In order to compensate for not being a cool BlogHer type lady I’m going to spend the weekend pooping as much as I possibly can. ~ Erica