bizarre – Page 7 – The Bloggess

Where were you during the zombie apocalypse?

Today is Sunday which means it’s time for the weekly wrap-up but I’m going to put that off until tomorrow. Instead I’m going to give you a small taste of what happened yesterday when I decided that we should all act out an impromptu 15 minute zombie apocalypse on twitter and literally thousands of zombieContinue reading “Where were you during the zombie apocalypse?”

I’m on a lot of painkillers, part 2

Okay. So turns out that my finger is broken, but only in the way that the rest of me is broken, i.e., no bones are shattered but it’s still technically fucked up and useless. Thus, I’ve had to type everything this week using one hand and I deserve a medal for this. But I haveContinue reading “I’m on a lot of painkillers, part 2”

Monday is the new Sunday. Unless this is Tuesday. Someone send me a calendar

Remember when I used to do a weekly wrap-up every Sunday except that one time when I did it late because I got lost in the Bermuda Triangle? Because that just happened. Sort of. Long story which I will probably start off and never finish. Like that time when I almost told you about howContinue reading “Monday is the new Sunday. Unless this is Tuesday. Someone send me a calendar”

UPDATED: You brought this on yourself, Morgan Freeman

Dear Morgan Freeman: What. the. fuck? I’ve been rocking the cat-on-the-head look since January and then “suddenly” you show up on the scene with a cat on your head and expect me to believe it’s just a coincidence? No, Morgan Freeman. No one is falling for this. Stop with all the lies. This is exactlyContinue reading “UPDATED: You brought this on yourself, Morgan Freeman”

Also, I invented gravity.

People that I’m suing this week: 1. My 10-year-old niece, Gabi 2. The creators of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” 3. Natalie Dee Why? Remember back in January of 2009 when I invented kitten-mittens? Remember? And you said it was awesome? Fuck. Hang on. Here’s a snippet of the post to jog your memory: …I alsoContinue reading “Also, I invented gravity.”

The Shorty Awards respond. Barely.

It’s been a long, strange week. If this is the first time you’re arriving at this site I’d recommend skipping the past few posts as they can be confusing for even the most ardent reader of this blog. But for those of you who have been following the Shorty Award debacle, here’s a short summaryContinue reading “The Shorty Awards respond. Barely.”