I’m an idiot – Page 3

Oh, milk. You kinda fucked this one up.

This is the part where I would assure you people that this is an unretouched photo that I actually took from my car window but I don’t know that it’s even necessary to clarify that, simply because it’s not possible for me to get high enough to come up with something this fucked up. I’m not really sure what the message is here. I’mContinue reading “Oh, milk. You kinda fucked this one up.”

Drunk algebra

So I said I’d write more Blogher stuff but I’m easily distracted and can’t fit in all of the wonderful people I met or missed or drunk-dialed and so instead I’m just going to skip to the part where I tell you the things I didn’t do. Like how I totally didn’t force Evany to give me her autograph while IContinue reading “Drunk algebra”

I shouldn't be allowed to mix with real people

So this weekend I went to Blogher and basically it confirmed that I should never leave my house again. It was awesome and terrible. Like a tornado filled with glitter and pretty shoes. I did a reading at the Community Keynote and (surprisingly) was the only one drinking heavily backstage and (unsurprisingly) was the only one who had to physically hang onContinue reading “I shouldn't be allowed to mix with real people”

I need an editor

Hi. I’m a dumbass. I have a degree in Journalism (seriously) and yet I cannot use apostrophes. In fact, the very reason I’m not actually a Journalist right now is that AP Style was created to destroy me. Me: The client plead guilty. My editor: Incorrect. The client pleaded guilty. Me: Tonight I will set fire toContinue reading “I need an editor”

This post made perfect sense at the time. Now I'm not so sure.

So I was standing in line at Chipotle to order a burrito when I started thinking that I’m full of mosquitoes. Like, some people are attracted to me because I’m weird and oddly fascinating but really the thing that people think is so unique is just this craziness that’s like a bunch of mosquitoes buzzing around inside of me. I bet if IContinue reading “This post made perfect sense at the time. Now I'm not so sure.”

A rant without ninjas

I know I promised you a kick-ass ninja story but I just have to quickly respond to the 23rd person to threaten to unsubscribe to Mama Drama if I don’t hurry up and write a post there. I don’t write there anymore. I write at Good Mom/Bad Mom. And you should read it because it’s awesome andContinue reading “A rant without ninjas”