The James Garfield Christmas (And Hanukah) Miracle Returns. Sort of.

This post is going to be crazy-ass hard to follow but it’s probably worth it, so buckle-up, buttercup. Last year my lovely readers accidentally forced me to save Christmas by making me let them buy Christmas presents for children who might not have had any otherwise.  It’s hard to explain, so instead I’m going to sendContinue reading “The James Garfield Christmas (And Hanukah) Miracle Returns. Sort of.”

It’s a nice day for a (James Garfield) wedding.

If you’re a first-time reader this will all seem incredibly strange and disorienting and you should probably just come back tomorrow, but if you know the mighty saga of  James Garfield then totally stick around. The glorious taxidermied head of James Garfield has been responsible for a great many unintentional social-media miracles since the dayContinue reading “It’s a nice day for a (James Garfield) wedding.”

MORE GRAVY IN 2011

It’s my birthday in less than two hours and if you follow me on twitter you probably already know that since I just had a long, accidentally confusing discussion there about pony gravy and arthritis and I somehow came to the conclusion that there are a lot of people who have extra gravy but I neverContinue reading “MORE GRAVY IN 2011”

I’m sending him a men’s 2X though because I don’t even think the Pope could pull off a baby-doll cut.

I’m supposed to be writing my weekly wrap-up but I’m too sleepy so instead I just made a t-shirt to send to the Pope so that he’s aware that James Garfield needs to be named the Patron Saint of Accidental Miracles. Then I went to look up the Pope’s mailing address and this popped up:Continue reading “I’m sending him a men’s 2X though because I don’t even think the Pope could pull off a baby-doll cut.”

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