stuff better left unpublished – Page 5

James Garfield is currently on the floor beside me because I can’t find a stud in the wall to hang him but it’s nice because it looks like he’s bursting through the basement, which is awesome because we don’t even have a basement so basically James Garfield is making my house seem bigger WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.

This year we couldn’t take a real family vacation so we’re taking Hailey to see her cousins and Disney Land for a few days so I’ll be vaguely MIA starting tomorrow because every time I pull out my phone to get on the internet Victor will huff at me accusingly and so I’ll have toContinue reading “James Garfield is currently on the floor beside me because I can’t find a stud in the wall to hang him but it’s nice because it looks like he’s bursting through the basement, which is awesome because we don’t even *have* a basement so basically James Garfield is making my house seem bigger WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.”

Does Boone’s Fine Apple Wine count as produce? I say yes.

So this weekend I was in the liquor store buying produce and I noticed that on the top of the tequila isle there were these giant bottles of tequila shaped exactly like life-sized rifles. And I was all “OMG, I MUST HAVE ONE” and Victor was like “Um…no. I’m not buying you a rifle fullContinue reading “Does Boone’s Fine Apple Wine count as produce? I say yes.”

There are a lot of machine guns on this vacation

Disclaimer: I’m still incredibly sick and feverish with what I can only imagine is Dengue Fever so this post is probably missing entire paragraphs because of it. Sorry about that. Last week Victor and I went to Central America for the weekend and if I don’t write it all down now I’m going to forgetContinue reading “There are a lot of machine guns on this vacation”

I’m on a lot of cold medication

The other day I was looking at my pictures I’d posted from when I went ghost hunting at the Stanley Hotel and I noticed that if you enlarged one of the pictures and turned it upside down you could totally see what appears to be the ghostly face of Edward Cullen. And I realize thatContinue reading “I’m on a lot of cold medication”

It’s not actually surprising but it still stings a bit.

You know how on twitter there’s that link on your sidebar that tells you who else is similar to you that you should follow? This is what happens when I click on that: So basically I’m so inappropriate that even twitter is all “No. It’s just you.” Which? I’m pretty sure it’s not just meContinue reading “It’s not actually *surprising* but it still stings a bit.”

True fact: I like Victor better before he has coffee and turns into a grown-up.

Conversation I had with Victor at the gas station that we go to every morning for coffee after we take Hailey to school: Victor: Dude, we look fucking crazy. Everyone else in here is in a suit on the way to work. You’re wearing pajamas and my shirt says “That’s MY potpie”. me: We don’tContinue reading “True fact: I like Victor better before he has coffee and turns into a grown-up.”