this blog cures cancer – Page 5

I need an editor

Hi. I’m a dumbass. I have a degree in Journalism (seriously) and yet I cannot use apostrophes. In fact, the very reason I’m not actually a Journalist right now is that AP Style was created to destroy me. Me: The client plead guilty. My editor: Incorrect. The client pleaded guilty. Me: Tonight I will set fire toContinue reading “I need an editor”

Irony is awesome – UPDATED

Courtesy of Brody Harper who pointed out why my sponsors probably hate me. Also, I’m not sure if this is technically “irony” since I’ve been told I perpetually use that word incorrectly. It might just be “a horrible coincidence”. Which would be ironic, right? No? Fine. From now on I’m only using “irony” to describe things madeContinue reading “Irony is awesome – UPDATED”

It doesn't help that I don't pronounce the L in "caulk".

I just saw this ad from the Blogher network and I cannot stop laughing at it. Apparently GE Caulk is running some sort of contest for reviews about their awesome caulk and they decided to do an ad featuring some of the best caulk stories. Hi. I’m eight: I’m eight and I’m about to get kicked off myContinue reading “It doesn't help that I don't pronounce the L in "caulk".”

Shit that shouldn't be published, part whatever

You know how some people are always like, “Oh, I wish I could fly” like that would be so kick-ass? I bet it totally wouldn’t be. I bet it’s like people in wheelchairs who are all “Oh, I wish I could run” and you’re like “Well I’ll tell you, it’s overrated.” I once had to run a mile in junior highContinue reading “Shit that shouldn't be published, part whatever”

I'm quite afraid I've built up this ninja post too much

So according to my blog keyword search, a crazy amount of people are insanely paranoid about ninjas and are crap spellers. I mean, I’m obviously not one to cast stones after my recent, tiny ninja punctuation crisis but this shit is ridiculous. I mean, no judgment and I totally can’t tell which of you got here by butchering ninja phrases but really? InContinue reading “I'm quite afraid I've built up this ninja post too much”

Puerto Rico, part one: Things I learned in first class

(Taken directly from my journal because I’m lazy.) Things I learned on my trip to Puerto Rico: 1. The President’s Club at the airport offers free alcohol. Surprisingly, no one is drunk. 2. There are no President’s and lots of old white people in the President’s Club. Disappointing on both parts. 3. I just figured out why no oneContinue reading “Puerto Rico, part one: Things I learned in first class”