It’s still Sunday for another couple of hours so that means I’m not technically late for my weekly wrap-up of shit-I-was-doing-when-I-wasn’t-here.
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
This week on the internets:
- When some guy on the internet asks you to send him pictures of you sleeping the average girl would probably get a restraining order against him. Luckily for both of us, I’m far below average.
- Al Roker sent out a tweet about me and William Shatner. Baffling.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- Makes me want to go to Iceland (a titch of nudity)
- I’m bizarrely fascinated by this.
- From Autist to Artist
- This is beautiful and it also gave me a panic attack.
Comment of the day: I think you look like the love child of Judy Garland and Frida Kahlo in this picture. I mean, the love child if two women could create a child and if there were any way in the world the two might have gotten along long enough to create the aforementioned love child. Arco Iris is spanish for rainbow. I think they would have agreed that rainbows were awesome, though Frida’s would have been tragic and steeped in loss and pain, while Judy’s would have been wistful. And tragic. Maybe it’s good they didn’t have you. ~ Amanda
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
WHAT THE F IS AL ROKER DOING GETTIN UP IN YOUR SHIT?
No really, I’m confused.
.-= Bridget Callahan´s last blog ..This is the best promotional video ever. =-.
Do you have a background, secret relationship with Roker?
Are there White House-esque secret tunnels running from your home to Roker’s home in NYC?
Were you the impetus behind his weight loss?
Why are some eggs different colors?
I’m just burning with questions tonight.
.-= Megan (Best of Fates)´s last blog ..Dessert, According to a Lazy Hostess =-.
Ten minutes ago, I was like WHAT THE HELL?!? Where’s this weeks “Shit I did when I wasn’t here.”? And then I was so pissed I said I would NEVER read your blog again or until your next post, whichever came first.
So, thanks for getting around to this. THAT was a close one…..
.-= Jamie the Very Worst Missionary´s last blog ..Parasites CAN be funny. =-.
Somehow I missed Hailey in the red dress and oh my god that first picture is seriously beautiful and adorable at the same time.
.-= Awlbiste´s last blog ..awlbiste: @pikestaff it’s truuueee =-.
You’re messing with Al, Mary Mac is off licking Matt Lauer. Clearly the blogosphere is taking over the Today Show! Guess I need to spoon with Anne Curry
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Vaseline =-.
Your red dress didn’t make me cry, but Hailey’s did. That’s just beautiful.
That little girl’s red dress would have driven my 6-year old self CRAZY. Even now I’m jealous.
Al Roker needs to eat something sweet and fattening……. no I’M not volunteering my sweet fat self….. but his hunger is making cranky
.-= Holly B´s last blog ..NASCAR – NAFTA Riots And My Weekend In Hell * Welcome To Miami =-.
For FUCKS SAKE… could there please be a disclaimer on the swimming video cause I nearly passed out from holding my breath while watching it. Why the hell was I holding my breath? Jeezus now I gotta call the doctor and find out if that is normal, OMG. I thought I was going to die.
I have no idea who Al Roker is, but I say WTF dude. The Bloggess is way to cool to be in the same tweet as The Shat (that’s what I like to call Capt. Kirk. And what’s with the whole Tiberius thing? Pretentious much? No self-respecting alien babe would touch that with a 12 ft pole. You just know he’s got some sort of inter-stellar space VD goin’ on, the man was a player. Oops sorry I appear to have gotten off topic, I may have some unresolved Star Trek issues).
.-= Rusty Hoe´s last blog ..Two Birds, One Stone: Day of Visibility & Happy Birthday TDC. =-.
My daughter would completely love that red dress but given the way she trashes her princess dresses there’s no way I’d let her wear it!
.-= Steph´s last blog ..The Fire Day 1 – Part 1 =-.
Thank you thank you thank you. I’m really bad at sucking up, but thank you again. Now that that’s over with, I want to share a story fragment I haven’t found a proper place for yet, so I figure here is as good a place as any:
When Jake was 3, when he was upset about anything he would yell and scream hysterically “I want my Mommy!” and if I was with him and trying to get him to do something like leave the playground, I wanted to have a shirt that read “I AM his Mommy, not a child abductor, he has Autism, thanks for your concern, now go the hell away.”
Thanks again for the shout out, I really mean it. I’m probably blushing right now, if you could see me. You can’t right? You didn’t sneak in and install spyware in my computer, right? Good. Goodnight (and thanks again).
.-= Varda (SquashedMom)´s last blog ..From Autist to Artist =-.
Hey, that’s a LOT more than I accomplished all week #smilesandhugs
.-= Jon Pear (a.k.a. NeuroAster)´s last blog ..Fear =-.
Seriously, can you re-tweet to Al and tell him he looked a lot better when he wasn’t so damn thin? I think he looks like crap now.
I was drinking water while I watched the diving video and I started to freak out because I thought I was drowning. So maybe don’t do that. But the video was awesome.
al roker tweeted about you?!
that’s freaking awesome!!
almost as awesome as john cusack answering my tweet and calling me sir.
i said ALMOST as awesome.
.-= melissa´s last blog ..The Main Reason Why You Shouldn’t Spank…You Never Know What Sort Of Monster You’re Creating =-.
Thank you for the panic attack. That was beautiful, indeed. And I really enjoyed reading how you got to where you are now. It is kind of rather very pertinent to me right now. I hope you got seriously thanked for that advice. UFOPORN!!!!!!
.-= Margaret Goerig´s last blog ..This is not really a post =-.
The Al Roker thing is a bit strange, yet amusing, in a weird sort of way.
And I thought I was pretty cool when Fran Drescher friended me on Twitter.
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..I win the award for worst blogger of the millennium, or at least of the day =-.
That Al Roker can’t tweet for shit. And he looked better fat.
.-= muskrat´s last blog ..help me, andrew clark. you’re my only hope. =-.
OMG! Hailey is darling in the little red dress!! You know it’s all over now.
Ok, I didn;t need to see the squid porn. Can I send you brothel menus? Those are much better, and still quite educational.
.-= Kernut´s last blog ..Brothels 100 Years Ago, and Tantric Sex Today =-.
Al Roker? Really? WTF, dude?
.-= Deana Birks´s last blog ..Our strawberry festival has been preempted by thunderstorms =-.
That diving thing. No bueno. Scared the crap out of me. And, I think it makes perfect sense that Al would tweet about you. Why not?
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Has a Cantaloupe ever made you Cry? =-.
I love Sunday’s for three reasons, your rap up, post secrets new post cards and staying in my jammies all day! Thank you for them, even if they are posted late, they still are over flowing with greatness and jam packed with super awesomeness that is you!
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..one more =-.
Dear Jenny,
You’re officially my heroine.
Because you inadvertently let me know Apture stopped being annoying (if any of you are wondering its the cool popup video frames that appear in the pages now.)
…and because you didn’t hack my site.
…and because the planet-sized chicken fried steak at the Gruene Cafe was truly planet sized.
…and because through your blog I’ve met an army of the most amazing people in the world.
…and because…well shit…just because
See…all your fault.
-Tony
.-= Tony hunt´s last blog ..Ever Wonder… =-.
Loved your letter to yourself. Awesome advice.
.-= Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me´s last blog ..The Saturday Evening Blog Post – May 2010 =-.
I loved your letter to yourself as well. Ah, if only we’d all had a little crystal ball to look in to the future with back then? I certainly wouldn’t have eaten so much of the “seafood platter for two” at The Windsor all those years ago. Ick.
.-= Jodie at Mummy Mayhem´s last blog ..Scammers Are Everywhere =-.
Al Roker? And what did that tweet even MEAN, really?
.-= SparkGirl´s last blog ..Kickass pressies, crazy expensive food, and What.The.Fuck? =-.
So I think you have just discovered aquaman in that video. I literally had to make sure I was breathing while watching it. Very beautiful, but oddly terrifying.
Also the lady singing with the salt designs makes me wonder how people discover this? I’m convinced it’s just her hidden super power or something and one day I can only hope to be bored enough to find mine. But if it turns out to be salt desings with a microphone I’m going to be disappointed in myself for being put on the level of Morgan Freeman-esq copy cating.
I was going to write something about Red Dress Revisited but our fire alarm test just sounded and scared the living cr*p outta me so I need to recollect my thoughts…
Is Al trying to get all “Pop Culture” and become Tweetastic and Tweetalizing to the social media crowd?
I think it’s the dog’s fault. He didn’t get in the pictures with your daughter and he is a bit miffed. He seeks revenge yet again, using his secret network and Svengali like pug powers on famous people to craft a revolt against his pawrent, mommie-peep the bloggess.
.-= LookieLou´s last blog ..“Small Triumph” Good News for Traveling Pets! Frontier Airlines Allowing Small Pets In The Front of the Plane. =-.
Al, you look better fat. I don’t give a shit about high cholesterol or heart disease and all that mamby pamby bullshit. Eat some bacon you pussy. No one likes you skinny you fucker fuck, 123 lock box.
.-= furiousball´s last blog ..she fell down and made me proud =-.
Ok, is it just me, but how do hell do you free fall under water????
When you jump in the deep end of the swimming pool, you sink. But if you are already in the water, you have to swim down. Is it the amazing powers of that scary black hole? That thing is the stuff of nightmares.
Fucking AWESOME and totally SCARY…loved it..had my imagination working overtime with thoughts of sea creatures bubbling from the depths to eat that guy…………..
So are you in a fight with Al Roker now? You and I need to start a “We just piss off celebrities” club. I think it could go far.
Lee
.-= Lee´s last blog ..MicroDry Bath Mat Review and Giveaway! =-.
Iceland is totally kickass. I’ve lived there. I wish I could go back and live there with my husband, so I could actually travel more instead of just work work work! My son was born there..totally awesomesauce.
If you get a chance to go–GO! And skip the touristy stuff. There’s so much gorgeous incredible stuff there it will literally take your breath away. And not just because you’re freezing. LOL. Take a sweater. It’s cold!
.-= J´s last blog ..no topic today =-.
I think you look like the love child of Judy Garland and Frida Kahlo in this picture. I mean, the love child if two women could create a child and if there were any way in the world the two might have gotten along long enough to create the aforementioned love child. Arco Iris is spanish for rainbow. I think they would have agreed that rainbows were awesome, though Frida’s would have been tragic and steeped in loss and pain, while Judy’s would have been wistful. And tragic. Maybe it’s good they didn’t have you.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Schooled =-.
I love that you got your daughter a red dress. Almost made me cry. But I was too busy laughing at the fact that she told you “5-year-olds are people, too”. Did she say that just to get a red dress?
I would have gotten her one too. And one for the cat, because seriously, cats are people too.
.-= Kendahl´s last blog ..Probably The Hardest Holiday To Shop For =-.
Loved the Iceland video…that two person cartwheel was a davoon!
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..The Bride and the Grads =-.
i absolutely love the blog about autist vs. artist. as someone who has a family member with autism and works with autistic youth and children, i love how she describes the artisitic nature of those with autism. I had a severely autistic boy who I worked with who loved to watch me draw. he’d sit for literally and hour or two and watch me draw/ paint/ design, whatever. When I realized his fascination, I began to give him paper and crayons, pencils, etc. he usually ignored these to stare at my paper. but then one day he picked up the pencil and began drawing. he covered the page with these pictures of little people… and he indicated that he wanted another page, and covered that one with little figures as well. it was interesting to me to see that a boy who normally doesn’t want anything to do with other people would fixiate on the image of a person to draw over and over again. It was beauitiful. it made me realize that perhaps he desires more human contact then we had ever given him credit for. so… thanks for linking me to that page via your blog. i enjoyed it greatly. Also, it’s iceland. gotta expect some nudity. Ever heard of Sigur Ros?? their music will REALLY send you into a frenzy over iceland.
good day, Ma’am.
Did you ever find out what’s wrong with Al? Other than the obvious of course.
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..Warning: Do not read this if you are my husband =-.
So Al Rokers tweet will not load for me…it must be some kind of conspiracy.
The salt singer is seriously bizarre and cool, also she should use sea salt.
The free fall might send me into a panic so I will watch that at home where my xanax is.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Bow Chicka Wow Wow! =-.
Uh, just curious, what is a “titch” of nudity? Could you please post a pic in order to clarify this? kthxbai.
~EdT.
.-= EdT.´s last blog ..If you build a better mousetrap… =-.