Thank you. Seriously.

This isn’t a real post.  It’s a thank you.

Thank you because for the third week in a row Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is on the NYT list.  Thank you because today is the premiere of my book in the UK.  Thank you for making the tour so successful that they’ve added another leg (or two) of the tour.  I still don’t know how this happened, but I do know who to thank.

Thank you.

Leg two of the Let's Pretend This Never Happened Tour

Click on the links for all the gory details:

May 16th ~ 7pm : Atlanta, Georgia

May 17th ~ 7pm : Concord, North Carolina

May 19th ~ 4:40pm : Gaithersburg Book Festival

May 20th ~ 2pm : Annapolis, Maryland

Will you come?  Pretty please?

PS.  This is where I’d put something funny and clever but I’m not funny because I have tonsillitis, sinusitis, bronchitis and Ancient-King-Midas.

PPS.  That’s sick humor.  It doesn’t translate well.  I apologize.

481 replies. read them below or add one

  1. And thank you for being you and also for picking me to win your book. I just might have to make a trip to your NC signing.

    Like

    Rob R recently posted I Live in North Carolina and I’m Sort Of Not Ashamed to Admit It.

  2. My (UK) copy arrived a few days ago. I’m about halfway through and loving it.

    Like

    Sarah Rooftops recently posted How to Make Your Blog More User Friendly.

  3. Congratulations! I am not able to go to any of your stops, but I cheer you on from my home!

    Like

  4. feel better bloggess!

    Like

    heather ozee recently posted France, Napoleon, and Marie.

  5. You are most welcome. I wish you’d come to my house as part of your tour.

    Feel better fast!

    Like

    "Susan Says..." recently posted The John Travolta Mess or Say it Ain't So, Vinnie Barbarino!.

  6. Wow…I hope you feel better soon!! Congrats! I’ve just begun reading your book & it is hilarious! I think you should add Phoenix to your tour…just sayin.

    Like

    Kerri F recently posted Proof I Watch Too Much Criminal Minds.

  7. Oh, please come to Boston! I know you have fans here and I would love to hear you speak. And the accent? C’mon, listening to real Bostonians on the T (i.e. subway) is worth the trip alone.

    Like

  8. Feel better soon! That Midas shit is the worst.

    Like

    Amanda recently posted my London goal, or accidental stalking.

  9. I think Ancient-King-Midas! Except everything I touch does NOT turn to gold….
    Conga-rats on the Tour! You deserve it!

    Like

    Brenna recently posted Did that really just happen....?.

  10. Oh hells yes – Finally some Chicago lovin! I will have to hunt for some Mosefoy worthy taxidermy around here…

    Like

  11. Sorry you’re feeling icky…hope you feel better soon…..

    Can’t wait to meet you, now in NJ probably…since that will be closer than MD and I’m kinda lazy when it comes to driving long distances… :-)

    Like

  12. You are so fucking welcome. Thank you for sharing your awesomeness.

    Like

    Banana Stickers recently posted Aw, look at the cute little baby pig! (so sorry about your privates).

  13. I keep hoping you’ll come to my neck of the woods, but alas, I guess it was never meant to be…

    Like

  14. I keep looking and St. Louis is never on there. I’d buy 5 copies of your book if you would just come to The Lou!!!
    Is that bribery enough???

    Like

    Becky recently posted Dear North Carolina, You Did it Wrong.

  15. Can I lure you to Chicago with the offer of a taxidermied puffer fish with googly eyes? The eyes are fake, but the fish is real.

    Like

  16. We want to see you on the west coast again!! Oregon to be exact. I’d drive anywhere in the state for a signing because you’re awesome!

    Like

  17. Oh, Gaithersburg…I’m so up in you!

    I’ll be bringing a gift… No you shouldn’t be afraid… You should be all “I can’t wait for Gaithersburg”… Just like I am…

    WG

    Like

    WilyGuy recently posted The Lesson of the Reef Tank.

  18. Ugh it would be amazing to see you in Cincinnati, I still need to read your book, but I wanna because I know it’s awesome :D

    Like

    Jena recently posted Pill Swallowing and Sword Fighting.

  19. I’ll be there to get my copy signed in Atlanta!! Huzzah! Hope you feel better soon…

    Like

  20. TULSA, OK???!!!! It’s not very far from home!!

    Like

  21. gaithersburg! YAY!

    Like

    Mels recently posted Cycling ’round again.

  22. Still waiting on a Seattle stop…

    Like

    daniel recently posted Meanwhile At Safeco Field.

  23. Ok, I am cruel fan to ask this of you when you’re suffering from so many itises (yeah…that’s not a word, and if it is, damned if I know what it means) BUT please come to Toronto. It’s all the excitement of going to another country without having to go very far at all. PLEEEAAAAASSSEE!

    Even if you ignore my desperate please, you are so totally welcome. Your amazingness is the antidote for shittiness on the internet. Good for you, lady!

    Like

    Kimbo recently posted Jane's Walk.

  24. I will eat fish and chips while looking at a photo of you.

    Also, can Heather Barmore and I just have you come to Upstate NY for a very mellow reading. We’ll cure you of any lingering itises. I take that back, you’d probably leave with one, but it’d be cool and make you carry the spirit of hicks, lumberjacks and the generally underestimated but-cooler-than-shit and capable of more than you think people who live ’round here.

    Like

    Amanda recently posted Go Get Your Tap Shoes.

  25. Hooray for adding Boston! Can’t wait!

    Like

  26. Yay Chicago! I will definitely see you there! Unless your tour date is the one weekend I’m out of town…then I’ll just cry :-(

    Like

    Jessi recently posted Tissue Paper Cherry Blossoms.

  27. Sulking in Seattle.

    Like

    Snarky Amber recently posted Daddy Issues Dominate Upcoming Movie Sequels.

  28. Nuts! Concord’s only 2.5 hours away, but a five hour road-trip the night before I have to leave for the coast (for a wedding)… I need to find somebody else who loves you here to carpool with. Anyone from the Triangle who wants to split driving/gas? I have a car (it’s a manual), what could go wrong? :)

    Like

  29. Ah, New Jersey, excellent! I did not get to come up to the first NY signing, so perhaps I’ll be able to make this one! Fabulous! :)

    Like

    Robin recently posted Ironic Mustache Sexycat Wednesday!.

  30. *cough* WHAT ABOUT DENVER!!!!! *cough*

    Like

    Issa recently posted This morning.

  31. If I say that I will see you on leg three and that I will be there with bells on…will you actually be expecting me to wear bells? See you in Chicago!!

    Like

  32. 33
    D'Arcy Rheault

    For the love that is good and worth your time… can you PLEASE come to CANADA! Toronto is only 90 minutes from me and I would very much like to see you in person!!! Please??

    Like

  33. All signs point to seeing you at the Gaithersburg Book Festival. Hubby and daughters are coming too (though I have the feeling that they’re going to wonder off and leave me in the vast crowds rushing to meet you)! If you handle the crowd, so can I!

    Feel better! I heard whiskey, straight with a bourbon chaser is great for whatever ails you!

    Like

  34. I am beyond excited that you’re going to New York again. I’ll have to plan a trip there that day. I absolutely refuse to miss you again!
    But Rhode Island and Connecticut are often ignored locations and I’m sure they would both make excellent tour stops.
    Just a thought. :)

    Like

    Ana recently posted College: A Wrap Up. (And Also Boobies.) Part Three!.

  35. Toronto would love to meet you!

    Like

  36. My 6 year old saw the picture above and said “That’s George Washington.” HAHAHAHAHA! Kinda.. She is taking the nation by storm, it appears. ;)

    Like

  37. Yay! I’m so excited you are coming to NC!!

    Like

  38. Please come to Denver! Read your book on my flights this week and I am pretty sure the strangers next to me thought I was crazy because I was laughing so hard!

    Like

  39. Anywhere in AZ….pretty please???

    Like

  40. GAH! I need to request time off and make a roadtrip to Atlanta! ORRRRRRRR you could get them to send you to Jacksonville, FL. That would be pretty sweet.

    I’ll cook dinner!

    Like

    Christy recently posted Shirt of the Now – Friday, 04/13/2012.

  41. I’m not sure which side of the “boob signing fence” you ended up on (wouldn’t that be an awesome fence?), but if you come to Calgary (Canada), I’d totally sign your boob.

    Like

  42. Go West, young lady!
    To Denver.
    (Take your time. It must be exhausting to be traveling and keeping your face on all the time!)

    Like

  43. Feel better rightquick!
    I just finished your chapter on needing an old priest and a young one…thanks for reminding me why I don’t live in the country.

    Like

    Melissa recently posted Drawsome!.

  44. You’ll see me at one or both of the MD dates since that may be the closest you get to DC.
    It’s gonna be a PARTY!

    Like

  45. Denver, please? We have a lovely place called the Tattered Cover Bookstore!

    Like

  46. AND….you know what’s RIGHT next to Chicago?? IOWA! (I bet you were going to say “Lake Michigan,” and while that would have technically been correct, it was not as relevant.) Come visit the children of the corn…you know you want to. :)

    Hope you feel better soon! I’ve found that bloody mary’s (maries? what’s that in plural?) and fresh ginger do wonders for sinus garbage.

    Like

  47. BOSTON!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even tell you how excited this makes me!!!!!!

    Like

    Diana Lark recently posted Reason #11 Why I Should Live With My Boyfriend.

  48. 49
    Christineq

    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I can’t believe it! You are coming to a place near me on May 19 and I can’t go! I have planned a homeschool conference for that day, so I can’t skip, though I am quite tempted! UGH!!! Please know that as many people show up, there will be another one very sad she missed you. So glad your tour is expanding though. Very happy for you!! Rock on Jenny!!

    Like

  49. Congratulations! Come to the Midwest and I will rally the troops!!

    Like

    Pish Posh recently posted The Interviews.

  50. PHILADELPHIA!!!!!!!!!! Pretty please????

    Like

    Julia Grace recently posted Diving into Competition.

  51. Please come to the Philadelphia region. We have several zoos and science museum’s.

    Like

  52. “I have tonsillitis, sinusitis, bronchitis and Ancient-King-Midas.” ~ You realize this means that all of your phlegm and snot will turn to gold. Cha-Ching! ;) Seriously, get well soon.

    Like

  53. Please come to Denver with the snowfall…We’ll move up into the mountains so far that we can’t be found…And throw “I love you” echoes down the canyon…And then lie awake at night till they come back around…Please come to Denver. Pretty please with Ron Weasel-y on top?

    Like

  54. Get well soon! And also, go to PA!

    Like

    NewMommyConfessions (@NewMommyConfess) recently posted Themed Care Package Fun - A Night At The Movies.

  55. 56
    Massielita

    Oh, sweet Jenny, get well soon!
    Also, today is Mother’s Day in Mexico, and since you are in Texas (like me), you get to celebrate too! Happy mother’s Day!!!!
    I will have a wine slushee in your honor and to your health.

    Like

  56. 57
    Prop Widow

    See you in Atlanta!

    Like

  57. So, buying stock in the manufacturer of Xanax would be a good thing to do right now ;)

    Like

  58. You are so very welcome. Now come to Denver! Pretty please!

    Like

  59. Who do I need to blow in order for you to come to Seattle? There must be SOMEONE.

    Like

    Adrasteia recently posted In which I am traumatized by a California roll.

  60. OMG. I have six days to try to get my crazy under control enough to leave the house and get to Barnes and Noble. I will make this happen. I’ll be the redhead shaking like a leaf and probably crying. OMG.

    Like

    tamaratattles recently posted Kim Zolciak's Mama Bear is Out in Full Force!.

  61. AH! You still need to make a POWELL’s bookstore stop here in Portland! I can guarantee crushing amounts of fans. And if all else fails, it will be me and my adoration for you. Which fills a room on it’s own. COME TO PORTLAND!!!!

    Like

  62. A big congrats again. I’m sad that the book tour isn’t coming to bumfuck Idaho, but then again I don’t blame you. I don’t want to be here either…

    Like

    Brandon, The Ho from Idaho recently posted Oh Internet. Sometimes You're Just Too Much..

  63. You’re welcome North Carolina. Clearly, I have found favor with the universe and my wishes have been made reality. And you’re welcome, for I have brought Jenny Lawson to our fine (though sadly very, very backward) state. I will be there on the 17th, with as many friends as I can round up, and possibly a dead chihuahua in a kilt.

    Like

    Heather Head recently posted Everything They Ever Need to Know They’ll Learn.

  64. I think this makes your friends and fans happier than you.

    SO thrilled for you…still :).

    xo

    Like

    Robin ~ PENSIEVE recently posted On our first visit to Salzburg: how I almost wet my pants.

  65. what about loiusville kentucky?

    Like

  66. HELL YES. I live 20 minutes away from Annapolis. I WILL BE THERE!!

    Like

    Kimberly recently posted KimberlyP: @jakeline47 I think that's what the last panel was--the "oh crap" moment..

  67. Ha! Your book is literally standing on two legs!

    Like

    Nikki Rules recently posted I Have a Sneaky Suspicion my Happiness is Trying to Sabotage my Success.

  68. 69
    Kendal Cushman

    BOOK A CANADIAN TOUR!!!! WE READ BOOKS TOO!! (eh?)

    Like

  69. it’s taking me forever to read the book because i only have about 10 minutes of reading time in the morning (thanks for the short chapters!), but i’m LOVING it!
    so happy to see there will be more NY dates. Maybe I’ll get to come see you after all. YAY!

    Feel better!
    xo

    Like

  70. 71
    falnfenix

    woo Maryland!

    Like

  71. Gaithersburg or Nap-town. One of them will have you and I in the same place. MWAHAHAHAHA! Um, I mean . . . it will be a distinct pleasure to very un-creepily meet you. Yeah, that’s it. :D

    Like

    Misty recently posted Weekly Whacked: Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.

  72. Hello again, worst stalker in the world here begging you to come to Minneapolis. We love you here. All of us. And we want to see you. Love, Minneapolis

    Like

    HeatherWhoLovesTheBloggess recently posted In Which We Work.

  73. Boston.
    NOT second Sat in June, thats Boston Pride. If it’s that day we make you march with us, by putting you on the back of a Harley with things taxidermied to toss to the crowd.

    Otherwise I will free my schedule.

    cant WAIT!
    thankyouverymuch

    p.s. and Im serious about Pride. this is my serious look : I

    Like

  74. Upstate New York is being ignored!!!! Please please please come visit us! Please?

    Like

  75. Yay! So glad you’re coming to NC! And Concord Mills is the SHIZNIT! My favorite mall EVAH! Well, it has a Sanrio store, so of course it’s gonna be my fave. I’m off work on Friday, so planning to try to scoot outta work early to beat traffic outta Greensboro and haul ass that hour and a half to see u! Can’t wait!

    Like

    karen recently posted Wordless Wednesday.

  76. OMG OMG! *a quick squealing lap around the house* You’re coming to BOSTON!?!!

    Like

  77. Looking forward to leg 3!

    Like

    Mayor Gia recently posted What Did I Draw?.

  78. I got my book in the mail on Saturday and I am almost done with it! I have sufficiently annoyed my husband by laughing uncontrollably while reading it at home and the majority of co-workers by attempting (and failing) to laugh silently while reading it at lunch. I WILL hook my co-workers on your humor :) Can you come have a book signing in Spokane? Pretty please?

    Like

    Nichole recently posted House Last Weekend.

  79. 80
    Another Carrie

    I was seriously upset when I finished your book. I tried, desperately, to read it slow…but it was hard.
    Honestly, what a great read. I can relate so much to your anxiety and your humor is priceless.
    My husband is pissed that I read this in bed for a few nights and kept him awake with my laughter and shaking the bed.

    Like

  80. Is it odd that I am so proud of you?

    Probably, but I am still.

    SUCK ON THAT, ANXIETY!!!

    ++++++++++

    Like

    Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted The Finished Madlib!!.

  81. Congratulations!
    Will there be a UK leg to your book tour?

    Like

    Kaitlyn recently posted Projection.

  82. Congratulations!! If you weren’t sick or famous and busy right now, you’d see someone stalking your blog. Someone in Texas in the Boondocks. That’d be me. But since you’re a little distracted and incapacitated I’m going to continue stalking without feeling paranoid, so thank you. (And…you’ve been an inspiration. More on that later.)

    Like

    Lilly recently posted Conversations with The Ex: Fucking Father Time.

  83. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE come to Canada on your tour! We love you here and can appreciate the taxidermy humour. fyi…my in-laws are delivering my husband’s great-grandfather’s deer head to our place in a few days. I’m so stoked! Gonna decorate it with some big fancy sunglasses for the summer-time. He’ll be livin’ it up in style.

    Like

  84. I wish you’d come to Canada. I keep book talking your book to everyone in bookstores here (including the employees). Yes, I read aloud parts. Essentially, I stage book readings of *your* book because it’s so freaking funny. And because I grew up on a farm and attempted to raise baby skunks because my dad had shot their mother.

    Like

    Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom.

  85. Oh, why not. I’m taking Thursday afternoon off and driving down to Concord. Probably be my only chance to say hi in person. :-)

    Also, I’m pretty sure some of the Death By Puppets folks will be at the Atlanta event. Possibly with puppets.

    Like

    Steve D recently posted #372 Closing Comments.

  86. Please come to Tennessee!!!!!

    Like

  87. Bought you’re book a few days ago and read it in under 2 days. HILARIOUS. Please come to Canada so I can gush to you in person! WE LOVE YOU UP HERE TOO

    Like

  88. HOLY GOD YES! You’re coming to the DC-area-ish! I will SO see you in Gaithersburg. :)

    Like

    Valorie recently posted I work for free, shouldn't I drink for free?.

  89. Congrats!

    Though I must admit I am disappointed I still see no New Orleans :(

    Like

    Joe Little recently posted The King’s New Clothes.

  90. I was so excited to see Annapolis added to your list! I’ll see you on the 20th!

    Like

    Melissa recently posted Tuesday Top 5.

  91. Omigosh, there is a mechanical swan lake diorama with taxidermied meese! Metal Couture.
    http://www.metalcouture.com/list/?c=objet-d-art
    sorry victor.

    Like

  92. Alright you are coming to MD, NY and NJ. What do you have against Pennsylvania? Please come so I can visit and be embarrassingly fangirlish about having you sign my book.

    Like

  93. Nap Town. Nice!

    Like

  94. SOOOO thrilled you are coming to NC!

    Like

  95. I see only two words: JUNE CHICAGO JUNE CHICAGO JUNE CHICAGO!!!! I am going out of my mind with excitement!!!!

    Like

  96. OMG! Im with jane! CHICAGO IS HAPPENING!! Its all my dreams come true!! I cant believe it!!

    Like

  97. I blog a lot about relationships. Mine, to be specific. My often-disfunctional ones, to be more specific. Sort of like a Carrie Bradshaw, but in the wilderness, not the city.

    I LOVE your writing. I read your blog religiously and am halfway through your memoir. I am inspired by your not-always-tidy life, and your humorous style of writing about all of it.

    I want to know more about your and Victor! I wonder what he thinks about your fame, your writing, and your endless mentions of him. Does he worry that any of your conversations might end up on this blog? Does he get excited about it? Has he ever thought of writing a blog of his own?

    Like

    Melanie recently posted Independent vs. co-dependent. Um, another option, please?.

  98. I hope one day you will take a world tour. If you do please, please put South Africa on your list.

    Like

    Vivian recently posted Junkie Parents.

  99. 100
    Janet Wyatt

    Please add Denver to your tours….. I finished the book and laughed on almost every page!!

    Like

  100. 101
    Stacia McGourty

    Reasons to come to South Dakota:
    1. Mount Rushmore
    2. Crazy Horse
    2. Wall Drug
    3. Corn Palace
    4. Black Hills
    5. DeSmet, SD AKA the Little Town on the Prairie

    All that PLUS…South Dakotan readers love your book! Seriously if you get within 300 miles of Pierre, the State Library staff will be road tripping.

    Like

  101. I can’t believe you will be in the same state as me and yet still so far away! Bring your book tour to Wilmington :-)

    Like

  102. 103
    Sam Rose

    I absolutely and completely second Denver! We’re so cool we don’t realize we’re cool (and that’s cool here).

    Like

  103. I still need to get it! So excited for you.
    Oh, and this made me think of you: http://lollingabout.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/its-almost-friday/

    Like

    Allyn recently posted Working It Out:The Opposite Of Lolling.

  104. DENVER DENVER DENVER DENVER

    Like

    Jane recently posted Cleaning Mom's House.

  105. ahhhhhhh yay you’re coming to NJ!!!! Thank you, thank you. Can’t wait!!

    Like

  106. 107
    Rachelle Nesta

    Loved your book! Please come to the west coast! Seattle to be exact!

    Like

  107. You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing your stories with us!

    Like

    Kat recently posted Suddenly I'm Dr. Seuss.

  108. That’s so great! Good for you!

    Like

    Jaime recently posted And on a related subject, what am I supposed to do with him all summer?.

  109. Get well soon and enjoy the big tour!

    Like

    Expat-Mom (Sarah) recently posted Deutsch Dienstags.

  110. You are welcome! Sorry some of us over-shared our germs, though. :(

    Like

  111. 112
    Alexandra

    Boston in June?! Yes!

    Like

  112. 113
    Susan Davis

    I can’t believe I’m going to miss you in Atlanta – I’ll be in Canada of all places. Boo :(

    Like

  113. Yay for more legs!

    Soon you’ll be an octopus!

    But you need to come to Seattle!

    Like

  114. Very cool! Congratulations!! Nice to see such a wonderful success story happen to a really genuine, talented and appreciative person. May you have many more legs – a veritable centipede of the book tour! ;)

    Like

    Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom: The Play Date: When Two Households Collide.

  115. If you come to Chicago, please, please, please swing through Des Moines or Omaha…

    Like

  116. Mmm.. Chicago is the closest to Canada I think you are going to get…. may have to make a trip down… ;)

    Like

  117. Here’s a bribe for you: I recently acquired a died-from-natural-causes mouse who I am pretty sure is one Hogwarts robe away from being Draco Mousefoy. Okay, “acquired” is a strong term and “natural causes” is a bit of a stretch. My a/c man pulled him off the motor. Yanno what, never mind. I don’t have taxidermy for you. But come to St Louis anyway please! It’s not that far from Chicago. Or I guess I could just road trip up there… let’s pretend this comment never happened.

    Like

  118. i will come see you in chicago….just need to know when! and also, feel better soooooon! cause i don’t want to catch all that stuff when i meet you in chi-town. ;)

    Like

  119. I finally ordered my copy, I wish you would come to the UK for part of your many legged book tour!

    Like

  120. I’m grieving having finished the book today. No more funnies. Also wondering what it will take to get you to England. Not the weather, that’s for sure. and all that talk of green open space? Bullshit. But we do have the NHS, which means free pills!

    Like

    Beth recently posted Friday, other people's problems, walking and baking, recipe, visiting, new teeth, Fill In The Blank Friday.

  121. YAY chicago!!!! i’m going to bet anderson’s bookstore, probably in naperville. downers grove would be even better ’cause then i could walk there. but there’s WAY more room in the naperville store.

    i hope you’re feeling better! see you soon!!!!!! yay!

    Like

    Ericka recently posted Happy Star Wars Day!.

  122. Hooray! So happy for you, and can’t wait for the third leg.

    Like

    Corrie recently posted Patriot’s Day in Lexington: “Stand Your Ground”.

  123. 124
    Kara Juhlin

    Unfortunately, I cannot make it across the country… Starving college student and all. If you wanted to come to Seattle, however…. ;-)

    Like

  124. 125
    Danya in Vancouver

    Please come to Vancouver!!! Its beautiful and we love you here!!

    Like

  125. Woo Hoo you are coming to Chicago!! I may have to take the day off work. I’ll be at your signing in Chicago. BTW, this will be the first I’ve ever went and stood in line for an author’s signature…..

    Like

  126. Stop touching strangers! And don’t lick them, either…

    Like

  127. PORTLAND!!

    Like

  128. Dangit! How come you’re in NC when I’m gone? I want to get my book signed.

    Now we’re in a fight.

    Like

    Sarah recently posted Lazy Days.

  129. Congratulations on all the well deserved success! I will add to the chorus of voices saying Toronto would love to see you. :) I know your book is being promoted here, I have seen it face out in the “new and notable” section of two separate book stores!

    Like

  130. Any chance for a leg four that could include Portland, OR? We love you out here!!! I’m so happy your book is doing so well.

    Like

  131. Hi! Congratz!!!!!!!!

    And… YEAH LADY. Who do we need to blow to get you here to Seattle? I mean, I thought Seattle would be an obvious stop for a book tour. :( And plus I need it. :D I’m 27 and currently living with my Mormon parents for ..a while…(god knows how long). And I need a break. I need bloody, squirrel-corpse-puppet stories to sooth my pain of living an overly pure life. I don’t want to be pure. I want to walk around naked in my own house and say fuck this and fuck that. But I can’t. Oh. And to top it off. My boyfriend lives with us as well. Oh! Aaaaaaaaaaand my un-medicated 4’11, 39 year old schizo-effective sister is coming to live with us in a month! I’m so excited. -.-
    Damnit. This turned into one of those millions of sob comments that I’m sure you get all the time.

    …. But its all true so I win. (If it was a contest) <–I know, that's fucked up.

    ……*-*

    I know. I l know. There are children starving in Africa…

    Have a good day :D Come to Seattle?
    -Beth

    Like

  132. 133
    Rhiannon

    How about Minneapolis? I promise all of the snow is gone!

    Like

  133. I’m reading your book and loving it. Read the laxative chapter last night and nearly stopped breathing from laughter. My husband actually came in the bedroom too comfort me. He thought I was sobbing.
    I’m so proud of you, so excited for you, and so happy for your success!

    Please come to Salt Lake City, UT!

    P.S. If I die from laughter related causes, you may have a lawsuit on your hands.

    Like

    Sandra recently posted My six-year-old is alienating friends.

  134. Ooooh! Maryland. That’s close to the Defiant Marshmallow! Maybe, just maybe he can show up. But he is fickle, so don’t get too worked up about it.

    Like

    The Defiant Marshmallow recently posted I Know It's All Part of Life, But....

  135. that last thing problemly isn’t a word

    Like

  136. Bitch, please. OF COURSE I’LL BE AT YOUR ATLANTA SIGNING! I will be there even if the zombie apocalypse happens. While the mindless zombies try to get into said Atlanta B&N, I will be in line, awaiting my turn to have my copy of your amazing book signed. And, once that happens, you and I will feast on the brains of those left in line behind me.

    Awesome, n’est-ce pas?

    Like

    Coal Miner's Granddaughter recently posted Rest Well, Dear Ainsley.

  137. YES Boston! Psych! Love your book!

    Like

  138. You’re welcome.

    PS I just finished listening to your audiobook and you sound EXACTLY like Patricia Arquette in True Romance, so I kept expecting you to talk about that time in Detroit when you were a call girl and then married Christian Slater.

    Like

    Suniverse recently posted I keep asking, so you have to answer..

  139. 4th leg to Raleigh NC please. I dont go to Charlotte area.
    besides, everyone knows Raleigh > Charlotte.

    Like

  140. Are you coming to Seattle?!

    Like

  141. You should add a stop in Salt Lake City!

    Like

    Laura recently posted Musical Frustrations.....

  142. I don’t see Brisbane, Australia on that list…

    Like

  143. You should come to WI or IL. It would be awesome!

    Like

  144. Still hoping for that Milwaukee stop on your tour…..

    Like

    Korinthia Klein recently posted Creativity in a Commercial World.

  145. We’ve never met, but I’m as proud of your success as if we’d grown up together. You inspire, amaze, and amuse me.

    Congratulations!

    Like

    Sue recently posted Busy as a bee - I mean, ant.

  146. 147
    MoldaviteSofa

    My Worlds have collided / The Squee heard ‘Round The Firm:

    I just opened my Amazon package containing the audio can and THERE IS A BLURB FROM NEIL GAIMAN.

    I am going to have a hard time restraining myself from listening to this until I drive to MA for my Grandmother’s 100th Birthday party in June.

    Like

  147. I’m still looking for Oklahoma City to be on this list…

    Like

    Brandi recently posted Gluteus Medius, I hate you..

  148. 149
    Brittney

    GAH! New Jersey! Hopefully somewhere in Central/South jersey cause I would love it!!

    Like

  149. Leg Four: Milwaukee, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. Please? Come to Milwaukee! :)

    Like

  150. Still hoping for Toronto… Feel better soon and so happy for your success =)

    Like

    Lacey recently posted Sausage Condoms. What?!.

  151. My (UK) copy arrived on Tues and I finished it today. Love, love, love, love! Thank YOU! <3

    Like

    Sarah recently posted ‘Sarah, don’t touch the drugs’.

  152. 153
    Lazy Susie

    Today my copy of your book went to a friend to cheer her up from the unique hell of dealing with lice for the third time this spring. It makes a great pity gift for the less fortunate.

    Like

  153. Jenny – Minneapolis is just 1 short flight from Chicago … please consider adding us as a stop I your June tour! Love the book!

    Like

  154. Denver, CO, please? Pretty please with a taxidermied animal on top.

    Like

    meg recently posted By Whose Standards?.

  155. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY dance. I will SO be there when you’re in Gaithersburg. I feel like I need to wear a costume. OMG! I’m going to wear a red dress. HEY! All of you going to see her in Gaithersburg we should all wear red dresses/skirts/outfits!!! It would be awesome! And we should all bring twine. I know I am! I cannot WAIT!

    Like

    Lesley recently posted I Always Thought I Was An Alien....

  156. Jenny, I’ve been trying since your book came out to find somewhere to buy it in a DEM-free electronic format. My ereader doesn’t play nice with books that are all locked up in kindle or other proprietary formats. But it’s my ereader and I love it anyway and I would never cheat on it.

    Anyway, I can’t seem to find it anywhere for sale in DRM-free pdf or epub format, or at least not anywhere that spells it out clearly enough for me to trust them that it is so. Before I gave up entirely and just resigned myself to not buying it, I figured I’d try asking you. Is there somewhere I can buy it like that?

    Like

  157. Who did your outstanding art? (The drawing of you holding a hair dryer, or, this one of you holding a spatula?)

    I want one of my very own! But, er, of me, not of you. Right.

    Like

    Jo at Bum-Bum Germs recently posted In Which I Hyperventilate..

  158. I’ve shoved my kindle in so many people’s faces and demanded that they read your book – and now they all want their own copy. Put me and my slightly confused friends down for another vote in the “Come to the UK” bracket.

    Like

  159. Thank YOU! I just finished your book and it was AWESOME! LOVED it!

    Like

    Danielle Daws recently posted Blog Hop with Ribbon Carousel & There She Goes!.

  160. Will we come? Are you kidding? I’m already trying to decide what to wear! *grin*

    Like

  161. 162
    Beth Jeffrey

    Your book arrived with me today in sunny Scotland via the Royal Mail!

    i have gotten nothing done today. You’re a terrible person for writing this book and getting it published.

    *does British ‘tsk tsk’ librarian face.

    If you can get a UK tour out of it you should definitely come to Glasgow. Spare bed here if ye fancy!

    Like

  162. Having Ancient-King-Midus at the same time as tonsillitus, bronchitus, and sinusitus is a blessing in disguise, really. That way you won’t be accidentally hugging your loved ones and turning them into gold. Plus you can turn all your used tissues into gold! Then you’ll be rich AND you won’t have to worry about dragging your sick self out of bed to go to the trash can. It’s kind of gross, but I mean … it’s gold now, right? No one’ll know. It’ll be like Fried Green Tomatoes, and how everyone thought the burgers tasted great even though they were made out of a dude named Frank. Except, you know, with less cannibalism.

    Like

    Jillian recently posted The Jolt.

  163. The nice thing about Seattle is that it’s between Portland and Vancouver, so you’d get folks from there as well. It’s really the perfect stop.

    Like

  164. since you arent coming to Canada, I went to the Comicon in Calgary and got Will Wheaton to sign my book instead :)

    Like

  165. Please come to Philadelphia! We have cheese steaks and Tastycakes and cream cheese and soft pretzels! (Can you tell I like to eat?) But if you don’t come here then I will be traveling to Jersey! Must get my book signed!

    Like

  166. Boston! Bistonbostonbidton!!! Wtf? So I’m writing this on my little frickin iPhone in the las Vegas airport. I’m semi fucking hammered from drinking a maragarita, a carona and a shot of patron in like 30 minutes whe I wait for my flight back to new Hampshire. I say Boston cause no one knows where the fuck new Hampshire is. does all this booze mux well with my depression meds? What an I taking? Not Zoloft, not the one stat starts with a c. Ummmmmm lotramin? No that’s not it. Um, it’s a good one anyway, I have awesome insurance. Who cares. Anyway, you have to come to Boston. Boston is awesome and you will totally have fun and not be freaked out at all. And I will totally come and buy another book for you to sign. I bought your book already but I have it to a friend of mine got Christmas, even tho it came out in April so it was 4 months late but that’s ok cause she is super cool. She bought me a video game that doesn’t come out for a year, so u guess my present was better cause it’s less late??? U don’t know but anyway you should none to Boston.

    Like

  167. Hope the mucus dries up soon! (And I STILL say you need to make a stop in Indianapolis!) (Hear that Mr. or Ms. PR Person? Indianapolis…it’s better than Chicago because it’s closer!)

    Like

  168. DENVER. DENVER. DENVER. The Mile-High City awaits your presence.
    (And gawd knows there are some real nut-jobs here — plenty of fodder for your sequel.)
    Hugs.

    Like

  169. See you in Boston!!! Yay!

    Like

  170. Please come to Seattle and get drunk with my best friend Viv and I. I’m positive we’d have an awesome time telling wild, nonsensical stories and shocking Viv’s hubby and my boyfriend. It would be amazing.

    Like

  171. Chicago! Yes! Count me in. :)

    Like

    Lindsay recently posted Saturday, Sunday, Snapshots.

  172. I discovered your website two months ago, fell in love with it, and read the whole thing while at work(shhhhh). I thought it was wonderful timing that you were coming out with a book, and promptly ordered one. I’m almost halfway thru, and love it just as much as this site. Thank you for.. I’m not even sure. Making me feel ok about my depression and weirdness? Making me laugh? Definitely all of the above and more.

    Like

  173. Congratulations! I TOLD my husband this would happen, and now I get to rub it in his face, even though he didn’t really argue with me. How exciting, both your success and the face-rubbing! Woot!

    Like

    Ang recently posted The Moon, That Certain Book about Grey, and New Performance Art.

  174. ACK! Here I’ve been hoping you’d come to NC and you are! The ACK part? Next Thursday?! There is a HUGE meeting that I can miss or heads will roll…..mine. So on the agenda for the next few days? Figure out a way around it. Because, dammit, I HAVE to get to Concord.

    Like

    Gigi recently posted Apparently, I'm easily amused..

  175. Congratulations on the third week!! I loved your book!

    Like

    Amanda recently posted Ranger Games and Family Meetings.

  176. 177
    Zultrgator

    Hell to the yeah !! I am trying to get a group to come see ya in Hot’ lanta !!!!!!!!!! I think I just wet myself with excitement ~~Oh wait nope just spilled my tea

    Like

  177. I’m nearly finished reading your book. Do I like it? Just let me say that it’s the first time I’ve ever laughed out loud on a plane trip, which probably made my fellow passengers a little nervous. I also had to shield a few of the chapter titles from them (it’s an e-book and I need LARGE print). But. it. was. worth. it. Totally.

    Like

  178. I was reading the chapter about HR late at night and was hyperventilating/laughing so hard my mom barged in because she thought I was having phone sex. Thank you for being the one to give me that experience.

    Like

  179. How wonderfully excitiing!!!! I feel proud of you for some reason. Must be the mama in me!

    Like

    Holly from 300 Pounds recently posted Tears in a Bottle.

  180. 181
    Dominique Mobs

    Jenny, LOVED the book! Read it for book club! Would you consider coming to Philadelphia??? Pretty PLEASE!

    Like

  181. So not sure if you get to reply to your comments… i noticed the Gaithersburg is listed as – 4:40pm. does that mean you’re hiding until then, or will you be hanging out at the bookfair for some time before hand? Just trying to figure out how to arrange the work schedule for myslef and some kidnapped co-workers.

    Like

  182. 183
    Melinda M

    As I am also sick your humor translated just fine. Now get your butt to Denver, we need you here. Seriously, we do.

    Like

  183. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! CHICAGO!! *fans self* Alright, I will see you there!

    Like

    Kat Rowley recently posted Mister Sandman, Bring Me A Dream.

  184. Three weeks on the NYT list!!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Way to go Jenny!!!

    Like

  185. NO. NO. COME TO MISSISSIPPI.

    Anyway. So, like, I asked for your book for my sixteenth birthday and my dad gave me like thirty dollars so I got that and something about gangsters in mid-19th century New York. Somehow, they’re related.

    But really, congratulations. It’s a huge thing to get it published and this tour and gosh. I hope you’re having a good time, at least, and see how much people really do support you.

    Like

  186. Boston?!? I’m there! Wait, when and where in Boston? Never mind, I’m pretty sure my fiance and I would do pretty much anything to get there!

    Like

  187. My blog is coming true! Charlaine Harris this week, YOU next week. I may have just shat myself.

    Like

    Karen Sanders recently posted Sookie Stackhouse and The Bloggess.

  188. 189
    altalinda

    I’ve seen many votes for Philadelphia already and let me add my voice to that chorus. Yoo-hoo, Jenny’s publisher — PHILADELPHIA!
    In other news, I’ve been very grateful to recall several times this week the mantra, Depression is a lying bastard.

    Like

  189. I seriously need to readjust my schedule so I can come to the Concord signing. Yay for legs.

    Like

    alaina recently posted Graduation Pants..

  190. Yay Chicago! Yay Chicago! Yay Chicago! Can’t wait!

    Like

  191. I’m pretty sure they make a cream for that Midas business. I think it’s made by Gold Bond.

    Like

    Vanessa recently posted You're the best, because it could be worse!.

  192. I don’t know where to begin, except to thank you for your book. I came home yesterday to find it waiting on my doorstep and I about squealed with delight. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has a strict “only 3 cackles per day” rule (apparently he enjoys hearing me laugh but not *that* much), so I could only read part of the book last night. Also unfortunately, but at the same time fortunately, I was rather sick and stayed home from work today and in the peace and quiet of my house I was able to finish the book and cackle all I wanted. It was good therapy, except for that my throat hurts and laughing doesn’t actually help that. At all. But it was totally worth it. Loved every minute of it, from heartbreak to hilarity, can’t wait to read it again!

    Like

  193. I need to know the date for the Boston day so I can make a point to take the day off of work and drive out!!

    and just so you know This week is antique week out in Brimfield Ma, and I am telling you this, because one of the places has a rusted big metal Chicken.. Beyonce needs her Jay-Z!! Next time I drive by it I will take a picture for you so you can show it to Beyonce. :)

    Get well soon!

    Like

    Erica B recently posted unintentional.

  194. I am really so thrilled for your success. I can’t the the Gaithersburg but if I can work out the Annapolis signing I will!

    Like

    Corey Feldman recently posted Do I need a niche.

  195. OMGOMGOMG!!!! You’re coming back to NY!!!!! This excites me muchly and I will do my absolute BEST to get there to see you! In the mean time, I hope you feel better… Ancient-King-Midas is nasty stuff!

    Like

    Devon recently posted Fire In Ice by Devon Stewart.

  196. Sorry you are not feeling well. Air travel does that. They made a movie: Snots on the Plane.

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Hopelessly Blue.

  197. I think it’s feed a cold, starve King Midas.

    Like

    ML recently posted We Got Your Danger, Stranger.

  198. I had to tell you about this: http://tmblr.co/ZvoEtwLFtpLw

    Neil Gaiman is selling an original doodle, about which he says, “The other doodle. It is also on eBay but will probably be a sad also-ran, because THERE ARE FEWER PEOPLE WHO LOVE IGUANAWEASELS than there are people who love Morpheus, Daleks or a small sleeping rat.”

    As soon as I read that I knew who loved iguanaweasels… you!

    Like

    kmkat recently posted Driving in Boston = hell..

  199. Today was a red letter day, I mean a 2 package day at the post office. One was your UK edition AWESOME cover!!!
    Second, your audio book, a gift for my friend who told me about your book to begin with! Since she has to spend 10 hours on the road this weekend, I figured it was a great time to introduce her hubby to your book as he drove and she laughed!!! Should I warn 911 to stand by just in case???
    We will see you in Annapolis at the Harbor Mall, which is MILES away from ANY harbor, and it is not really an enclosed mall, just s fancy strip mall. And it is miles away from downtown Annapolis. But it IS only 30 minutes from “here”, so we will be there to see you “there” and get a bunch of stuff signed.
    I saw an electrocuted squirrel up on some power lines, and I though of you..I will have to go back and get photos. He was in a “Hail Mary” pose. Hope it was quick. (Oh, no need to autograph the squirrel, just the photo, if you please. :)
    See you next Sunday!!!

    Like

  200. Ahh!! You’re coming to New York in June!! You’re coming to New York in June!!

    Like

  201. Just ordered yesterday, as a Mother’s day gift for my Sister….we are BEYOND EXCITED! Congrats and many blessings to you and yours:)

    Like

  202. If you don’t feel up to speaking at the next book tour stop, you can always do pantomime or charades. Your audience will understand (love the book, btw). Feel better soon!

    Like

    BeingMama recently posted Mothering and Motherlessness.

  203. hey! I don’t see Minnesota on that list! when are you coming to the tundra?

    Like

    Sj recently posted Speak Up Loud and Speak Up Often!.

  204. I have some astoundingly bad news: I just googled herpes butt images, and your face appeared. I knew you were the face of depression and rheumatoid arthritis, but I have to tell you, your face was not what I expected a herpetic ass to look like!

    Like

  205. LOVE YOU! I am so happy about all of this, that everyone knows how awesome you are!

    Please come to Kentucky! I bet you’ll find plenty of road kill and taxidermy animals! Remember Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett??

    Have a great time on your tour :)

    Like

  206. Why do you hate Canada? We keep letting you on our tv!!

    Like

  207. 208
    Mel Patrick

    I am swooning that you are going to be close enough, in Chicago, that I can see you in person. Road trip!

    Like

  208. Come to Seattle!!!! Please, pretty, please with sugar on top!

    Like

  209. I glanced at the locations and saw Concord NH, just for one tiny, tiny, hope-filled instant.

    Think: New Hampshire.

    Like

  210. Thank you for the book! I can’t think of any of the funny things I was gonna write…so I’ll just go to bed with you and then try again tomorrow maybe.

    Umm..that didn’t come out right…go to bed with the book. Anything else and I think my wife would have something to say…

    Like

    radiosteve recently posted 1986-The Year Of Angry Noise Part 2.

  211. Ok so I totally flew to Dallas to see you there and it was amazing. And now you are coming to Chicago!! So I’ll see you here soon! And this time I won’t be all shrilly….maybe.

    I changed my mind. I’m going to be SO shrilly.

    Like

    Lauren@FilingJointly recently posted We Don't Even Have A Chimney RYAN..

  212. 213
    kent duffey

    Please come to Richmond, VA! We want you here!!!

    Like

  213. 214
    Jennybenni

    Your sick humor might not translate well, at least not the way you meant it, but it was great for me because it was like you read my mind *in advance* when you were writing this. As soon as I read “I’m coming to you,” I immediately thought of the part of the movie (/play) “Bells Are Ringing” where the dentist is making up a song about a steamboat, and he ends the song with, “I’m coming home to yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu.” And in that same movie, there’s a play called “The Midas Touch,” and also the dentist rights a song called “The Midas Touch” (but not for the play) (I mean, not the play-within-the-play).

    Anyway. Right there in your post, bam, two references to “Bells Are Ringing.” Made my day.

    Like

  214. Where’s Seattle??? Congratulations!!!

    Like

  215. 216
    Karen Riddle

    You KILL me !!!!!!!!! I find your book one of my all time favorites. Your way of looking at the world is delightful. Will see you in a week at Concord, NC…..

    Like

  216. 217
    caroline

    so excited for the third leg ;) definitely coming to see you in chicago!!

    Like

  217. Safe travels on the next leg of your tour kiddo. In addition to getting even more famous by now you must’ve conquered your anxieties about traveling. Knock em dead.

    Like

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted Tell Mom thanks for finishing your diorama of the Alamo.

  218. …keep coming… I-95 North… you can make it to South Jersey/Philly, I know you can! Just so we’re clear, though, you want the sun setting on your left and the nation’s capitol behind you. I’ll keep hoping…

    You’ll know you’re here when they start charging you a ridiculous amount of money to ride on crappy, overcrowded roads. Don’t mind the folks waving their middle fingers at you. It’s the local custom for “hi, damn glad to meet you!” Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

    Like

  219. CANADA!! CANADA!! Come to Canada! I’m halfway through the book, SO fantastic. I often read your posts to the hubby and “OH MY GOD! HEY GIRL!” is now the regular greeting around here. Thanks Juanita. But seriously, thank YOU for giving such a loud voice to all of us fighting depression/anxiety. YOU, madam, are our mascot :-)

    Like

  220. YOU’RE FINALLY COMING TO BOSTON! HELLS YEAH!
    I told my husband and he said it was a good thing he was given a crossbow this week, as he totally has time to kill and stuff something for you before you arrive.
    I married a good man.

    Like

  221. Whatcha doing the weekend of May 19th/20th in between the shows? I live in the area and am planning on attending one of them. Would be happy to be your local tour guide. Want to see puffins have sex? National Aquarium in Baltimore. See a vehicle that has logged over 148 million miles? Space Shuttle Discovery at the Smithsonian-Dulles. Get tipsy on George Washington’s whiskey? His distillery is now open at Mount Vernon. Visit Nora Roberts bookstore? It’s a beautiful drive to Boonsboro, and there are a lot of wineries in the area. How about a visit to the third smallest national cemetery in the United States? The Civil War Battle of Balls Bluff in Leesburg, Va.
    I have the weekend off, including Friday.

    Like

  222. Congrats, young lady!

    Did a Rottweiler lick you on the mouth? Because I’m pretty sure THAT’S how I got bronchitis.

    Like

    dumb {squared} recently posted I've got this feeling that I'm failing somehow AND my family MAY leave me.

  223. Safe travels!!!
    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come to Seattle, washington!!!!!I am one of your gays and It would rock my world to meet you!

    Like

  224. YOU ARE COMING TO NJ!!!!!

    I just told my husband that I wanted you to sign my boob. But then I was all “she’s probably been asked to sign that already.” Then I went in to deep mumbly think mode….

    Then.. I might have fallen a sleep. But just for a minute. I had a great dream, but I don’t think I’ll be able to build a gianormous platypus out of rudimentary objects in time….

    Looking forward to stalking you (in a total NON THREATENING way. Maybe.),

    Valerie :o)

    Like

    Valerie recently posted I plan road trips like I'm hunting a serial killer.

  225. Joisey! YES! I know this book tour must be insane for you, but you are AMAZING and I will definitely be there. I wonder if they still make those Bloggess-inspired NJ lottery scratch-offs??? Hmmm…

    Like

    Snarkier Than You recently posted Obsessive Book-Reading.

  226. you really need to come to Canada… we have our own Real Housewives show now.. that makes us a real city, right?

    Like

    Jaime recently posted Conversations with my Vagina ..Part Two!.

  227. I’m so excited that you’re coming to Gaithersburg! Just ordered my book today :D Now to decide what I want you to sign…

    Like

    Cassy recently posted Less of a book sale and more of an empty parking lot.

  228. TWO in Maryland but NOT ONE in Virginia?! Or even DC (which is between MD and VA, and considered by some people to be An Important Place).

    Like

  229. “We are not amused.”

    Sorry, the Queen is ALWAYS like that.

    Even about your UK book launch.

    Blame it on the Corgis.

    And her stupid son, the never-to-be King Chuck.

    Like

    hogsatemysister recently posted My Big Sisters’ Aqua-Net of Doom.

  230. 231
    Jennifer C.F.

    Last Sunday the husband and I were sitting on the couch together in a very rare moment of relaxation and togetherness. I was reading him the chapter “Jenkins, You Motherfucker” and we were laughing so hard we woke up our 1 year old. It was one of those rare moments between our jobs, chores, and our wonderful, hyper munchkin that we got to sit together and just laugh until we almost peed (or maybe peed just a little).

    So thank YOU.

    Like

  231. Awesome! I wish you were headed out to the west coast again.. I couldn’t make the SF stop and was so bummed… On another happy note I was getting my pedicure today and I flipped open the People magazine and there was a 1/2 or 2/3 sized review of your book! and it was awesome!

    Thank you for being you.. You have helped more people than you will ever know!

    PS. If you didn’t see that review (which I doubt) and want proof it exsists… i took a pic with my cell phone and am totally down to text/email it to you LOL

    Like

  232. I have read your book like 5 times now and am ECSTATIC you will be in Boston!!! Please oh please let it be a Saturday or Sunday!!! I have no vacation time at work and I am DYING to get my book signed!!!!

    Like

  233. I’d like to put my vote in for you to please please please come to Chicago!!! Mid-west! (said in a westside rapper kinda way)

    Like

  234. cleaning every day helps your clean home stay that way. Even if you ignore all the other housekeeping rules, make sure you follow this most important clean room guideline.

    Like

    Jeanie recently posted Some Tips On Buying Life Insurance.

  235. Holy shit!!! Chicago?!! Wicked excited.

    Like

    Sarah van Loon recently posted Let’s talk about food, shall we?.

  236. 237
    JCfromNC

    Woot! You’re coming to NC! Nowhere near me, but still, a heck of a lot closer than you were until now. :) I hope I can manage to get my butt out to Concord to see you so that I can tell you to your face how much I enjoy reading your stuff.

    Like

  237. …. i have to work on may 16th. i am so crushed :( i was looking forward to you adding an Atlanta date. i really would have liked to talk with you about handling anxiety issues… my friends and family just don’t get it.

    Like

  238. 239
    Stephanie

    MINNEAPOLIS!!!!!!! Why won’t you come to Minneapolis? It’s like you hate us here.

    Like

  239. I just gave your book to my friend to take on vacation with her because she wasn’t going to be able to buy it before then, but I’ll make her buy it when she gets home.

    I don’t like that New York is on the TOP of the leg three list, cause I’ll be there in late June. Excuse me while I pray to your agents that they put it later in the month! Or send you out to the Southwest. You know, either really.

    At least you don’t have the plague. Or boils. Pus is so unbecoming

    Like

    Renee recently posted So that’s all my bad ass points gone then.

  240. 241
    spazzy mazzy

    Yay for more legs on the tour!!!!!!!!!! Now come to VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  241. 242
    Anonymous

    Any chance you’ll be coming to Chicago?

    Like

  242. 243
    cedarflame

    Really still no Seattle? You know how much cache this town carries especially for the strange and quirky? We have a giant troll that lives under a bridge! Trumps metal chicken!

    Like

  243. 244
    Cindy Jackson

    Take care of yourself. <3

    Like

  244. 245
    Rachel Y.

    So sorry you’re sick. Did you know that the mountain air in Denver is said to be a cure for all of those itises. Or maybe that was osis. Tuberculosis. Or cataracts. Or maybe the herp. Anyway, PLEASE!!!! come to Denver! We don’t even care if it’s after your book has fallen off of the charts! We have been there for you for years, before you were a successful author. Please?????? You’re not coming anywhere near us! *whine* Did someone say wine? ;)

    Like

  245. Thanks for writing an awesome book that’s well worth the read.

    And I’m still amazed at your ability to do this tour. Inspiring!

    Like

    Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted Fried Pies.

  246. 247
    Amy Sperry

    Your blog has literally pulled me out of some really heavy anxiety/panic attacks. Feeling crazy is bad enough, but being crazy and thinking you are the only one who is losing their mind totally throws me for a loop. Just knowing that there is someone else out there who is experiencing the same kinds of emotions I am is SO encouraging and such an amazing validation. I am not the only Crazy person who sometimes just can’t face the outside world. Thank you Jenny!!!!
    Anywho-Colorado ROCKS and I am SOOO Sad that I don’t see Denver on your itinerary!!!! Please, please tell your publisher peeps that Colorado LOVES the Bloggess and that by allowing you to add Denver to your book tour, you would actually be helping the mental state of AT LEAST a million people here in Denver. Probably 2 million-Maybe even 2.5 million. Plus, our weather kicks ass and Colorado is just an awesome place to be. If you think starting an email campaign would help, I am totally down for that. Just let me know.
    AMy

    Like

  247. Come to Portland (Oregon)! We have the best bookstore ever! It’s a City of Books!!!!

    I’m afraid it’s probably too damp for much taximdermy though.

    Like

  248. Oh, Chicago in June? Couldn’t you just pretty please go the extra little bitty way to Madison to visit us Wisconsin folk up here? The Midwest loves you just as much as the Coasts do!

    Like

  249. For the love of all that is holy, would you just come to Salt Lake City already?! It really is a delightful city and we really really like you. I’d even settle for Denver, as one of the earlier commenters suggested. It’s an 8 hour drive but would be SO worth it.

    Like

  250. Sigh, and I see Seattle or Portland still get no love. We will just have to admire you from afar (even though Seattle is one of the highest per capita book purchasing cities in the country….). Ok that little factoid may or may not be true, but we do have a really good reputation as a city of readers who actually buy books.

    Like

  251. One more plea for Denver. Or even Boulder. This town is filled with fabulous and crazy people. You would feel much love here.

    Like

  252. 253
    Carlotta Regina Tristania III

    YOU’RE COMING TO NEW YORK AGAIN!?!?!?! :D

    I am SO frickin excited. Now I can tell you how much I love your book in person, instead of just in my head, where I plan blog comments I never get around to typing.

    Sincerely,

    The Chick In The Black Dress Who Asked You For Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips in NYC :)

    Like

  253. YEAH Chicago! Now just need to get a date so I can take off of work. Cannot wait!!!

    Like

  254. Just ordered your book today! Can’t wait for it to arrive :)

    And then COME TO AUSTRALIA – please! Well, Melbourne, Victoria to be more precise…..

    Like

  255. Okay on Chi-town but if you keep going west on 80 …. and like Davenport or Des Moines or some other Iowa town with S’s you don’t pronounce lands on your schedule, I would be all. up. in. your. itises. with homemade chicken soup.

    I know, Iowa, right? Potatoes, right? And cows? But stranger things have happened.

    Love and good mojo and spiritual vitamin C.

    P.S. It’s corn and pigs, but who’s fact-checking this shit?

    Like

  256. ARIZONA!!!! PLEASE!!!! Chandler is in the East Valley near Phoenix. Surrounding cities that frequently have authors are Mesa and Tempe….PLEASE!!!

    Like

  257. Congrats! and feel better!

    Like

    Cheryl D. recently posted Yikes or What Happens if Mel Gibson Worked as a Telemarketer.

  258. I hope you’re feeling better.

    I’m giving up my seat at the Phillies/Boston game to head to Annapolis – see you then!

    Like

  259. You should come to Arkansas. Hot Springs, in particular. I think we have a bookstore or two. Actually we have one really awesome one that would be a really sweet place to have a reading of your book except I don’t know how that would go over because a.) it’s a used bookstore b.) the people who own it are super old and (while really sweet) they’re super Jesus people and I don’t know if they’d ‘get’ the amazingness of your book, and, well, c.) there wouldn’t really be room because that place is packed tighter than a hoarder house (no joke) and only skinny people can fit in there (again, 100% true), and if you do manage to squeeze your way in, the books are stacked like 7½ feet high, and it’s terrifying because if one stack comes down they ALL come down and if the thousand pounds of books didn’t kill you inhaling all the 50 year old dust would. And no one would ever find you again. But it’s a great photo-op. And the little old lady hugs everyone who comes in.

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  260. So, I just got the book today. It’s my mother’s day present, because my husband knows how to keep us both happy. I just got through the introduction, and actually had to stop because I’m so pregnant that laughing hurts….THANK YOU!

    Like

  261. I went to the bookstore today and saw they had an entire part of a display window devoted to your book. And I thought to myself … “hey, I know who that is ….” How cool is that?

    Sorry you were sick. Sending some feel better vibes your way.

    Like

    Roxanne/tinkerbell the bipolar faerie recently posted Pause.

  262. AmazonUK finally got my cope to me last week, by which point I’d already read it on kindle, so now I just stroke it and sleep with it and lick it, but don’t read it because then I might crack the spine.

    Also, UK tour? UK TOUR. Why no UK tour? I would totally come. I would be ALL OVER THAT SHIT like taxidermied animals on a shelf in your office.

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    Anonymouse recently posted The Dam.

  263. Europe needs you!
    please come asap.
    thank you.

    Like

  264. 265
    E M Foster

    Dealng with sinusitis myself right now. It sucks and I feel your pain. I can’t even imagine all the other things on top of it. Although the King Midas thing might be cool if you don’t want to eat and you want a lot of gold. Feel better soon, Jenny!! You are way too awesome to be down sick with all that!! :-)

    Like

  265. Sigh. We in Portlandia sit here, laughing into our coffee/tea/mango juice cups, langishing, all alone and Jenny-less. We are the only city that could properly appreciate you…and here we sit, tears running onto the pages/ipads/smart phones where we read your book. Or maybe that’s just rain….or the skin peeling from our faces from the taste of sun we’ve had this week. Either way, we’re emo over our jenny-less-ness.

    Like

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  266. I sooo wish you could make it near St. Louis. I would totally come to your signing! Along with a bunch of my friends who’ve been mercilessly prodded into loving your blog. ^_^

    Like

  267. You simply must come to Kansas City! Even the song says we have “crazy little women here” – name me one other city with it’s own song which so perfectly encapsulates you! And you can get here anyway you want to . . . you can take a plane or a train or you can even walk (because we really are that close to you!) Please, please, please.

    Like

  268. OMGness I totally just bought your book and I am litterally bouncing with excitement! I can’t wait to read it :-)

    Like

  269. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

    Like

    Lady Jennie recently posted I Have a Stalker.

  270. 271
    Melanie J Frank

    Please make your way to Charleston, SC. It’s pretty, I’m sure we have some stuffed animals somewhere, and I could feed you and get you drunky!

    Like

  271. 272
    Brian Cummings

    This comment is for whoevere is booking your tour. Ever hear of the Midwest? You know, there’s a town called Chicago that’s the third most populous in the country, right?

    Like

  272. 273
    Brian Cummings

    Oops, didn’t notice the bubble on the side about leg three. Disregard my last comment.

    Like

  273. 274
    Tommy "Robot Omens" Osborne

    I noticed you’re skipping right by Detroit, which is understandable, but we’re not all knife-wielding psychopaths. And some of us can actually read, no matter what you hear in the news. Plus, if you lived in Detroit, you’d be begging for some tours to stop by… Wheaton still hasn’t visited. Great book, too, thanks.
    – TommyO
    p.s. I carry Gerber knives, they sharpen easily after slicing things, people, etc.

    Like

  274. My husband bought me your book for my birthday – I took it to work and started reading it at lunchtime and I had to stop reading it because I kept getting looked at when I burst into giggles!

    Like

  275. I just squealed on the train… See you in Boston!!!!!

    Like

  276. You are so welcome, Thank you for making me look like a crazy person laughing hysterically on the plane last week. See you in BOSTON!!!

    Like

  277. Just tell me what I have to do to get Canada (Peterborough, Ontario in particular) on that list! I can and will do pretty much everything. Really.

    Like

  278. 279
    Jennifer

    WooHOO on you coming to Boston!! REALLY looking forward to it!!! (unless that puts undue pressure on you, then never mind). Hope your various itises leave you soon!

    Like

  279. Sorry you’ve got a bad case of Midas, but beyond excited that you’ll be in ATL next week! I’m takin’off work and driving in from Birmingham to come hear you!!!

    Like

    Heather Cover recently posted Chattanooga.

  280. Please come to Canada!!!

    Toronto, specifically :-)

    Like

  281. 282
    Alexandra Woloszyk

    Chicago? OMG, LOL, BBQ! My knitting group has a love affair with you. I can’t wait until you post the date. We often comment on how if you lived in the suburbs of Chicago, and knitted or crocheted, or were bi-stitchual, that you would find our shoppe, and consider us friends. Some struggle openly about depression & mental illness, some learn from others, and everyone loves a well dressed mouse.

    Thank you for all you write.

    Like

  282. Ooof, feel better!! And thank YOU for being so flippin’ awesome :-D

    Like

  283. Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. On that note, since you’re already not feeling well, now is the perfect time for your publisher to add a Midwest leg to your tour – sure your nose will get clogged, your throat will get sore, and your allergies will attack – but you ALREADY FEEL THIS WAY ANYWAY, right? You could use this trip to cleanse your body of toxins – and if that doesn’t work, the UM hospital here in Ann Arbor is very good. ;)

    Also, I’m over halfway done with your book, and purchased an additional copy for Mother’s Day, and can I just say, you are ridiculously adorable? And human. Thank you – it has been a pleasure reading, so far.

    Like

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  284. Yes, come to the Midwest. You haven’t lived until you do.

    Like

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  285. Won’t you pretty please consider coming to the greater Philadelphia area? I will bring you a sandwich or something to your signing if you do. See? Sandwich bribery. Pennsylvanians know how to operate.

    Like

  286. Well done, and I hope you feel better soon. I am going to have to try and get my hands on a copy somehow… Do you know if it is being sold in South Africa at all?

    Like

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  287. Chicago in June, whoohoo!! I will totally be there, enormous pregnant belly and all. Can’t wait!

    Like

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  288. If you’re going to be in Chicago in June, you need to come to St. Louis in June as well. You may not know this, but we have a rivalry. You can’t visit one and not the other, or people will think you are picking sides. Plus, you don’t want to be on Chicago’s side. So, come to the Lou in June (it even sounds like a bathroom, am I right?). Just not the last week in June, as I will not be there to see you then! So, I suggest the first half of June, just to be safe. And Left Bank Books, because it’s an awesome place to hang out, and one of my favorites.

    And the mindless nattering will stop now.

    Like

    Sarah recently posted Weekend Wrap-Up: Fun with Jasonisms.

  289. I agree with Tee. Can you please come to Toronto?

    Like

  290. My copy arrived yesterday (UK release day) and I got 30 pages into it before I had even taken my coat off. Then my daughter saw it, stole it and I haven’t seen it since :( The good news is she’ll probably have finished it by the time I get home from work today and I’ll get it back!)
    Thank you for making us laugh :)

    Like

  291. 292
    NJCHICK in SoCal

    My jaw hurts … I cannot stop laughing!!! I went to B&N to look for a new book, picked up yours, and … well, let’s just say that I have been harrassing my friends daily to get your book, as well. I am now a horrible mother, not wanting to do anything else but read, and … will follow my loving, and extremely patient husband around the house reading him passages! I am trying to read slowly so the book does not end! Congrats on the new leg of the tour! xo Connie xo

    Like

  292. 293
    Elizabeth M.

    Okay, so when you’re here in Chicago in June, pleasepleasePLEASE don’t be in the suburbs. If it’s a weekday, I’m totally taking the day off anyway, but I hate the suburbs almost as much as I hate ginormous crowds of people. :-p

    And holy shitsnacks you’re gonna be in Chicago!!!!!!!!!! :-O

    Feel better soon, Jenny. <3

    Like

  293. YAY FOR COMING TO CHICAGO!!!! We were hoping and hoping – we’ll definitely be there to see you!

    Like

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  294. 295
    fussybritches

    You’re coming to Chicago!?! Woohoo!

    Thank YOU Jenny for brightening up my morning (and every morning I read your blog). Your writing makes me furiously happy.

    Like

  295. 296
    Elizabeth

    Jenny! I just downloaded your book on my ereader and I can not wait for my train ride home to read it. But in the meantime I wanted to share the (one and only) negative review I found on the Sony e-reader bookstore site, because it is just so hysterical!

    “This book arrived in the mail the other day. Great title. Great cover. I couldn’t wait to read it.
    Then I turned the book over and started reading the back.
    And that was as far as I got.
    Forgive me, but I cannot read this book. If my dad saw me reading this book, he’d wash my mouth out with soap. My mom would have put me in the corner and grounded me for a month. I have friends who would have had a public burning of this book.
    I’m afraid it’s not a book for me. I’m not really a modern girl who casually mixes the profane with the sacred.
    I wish it had never come in the mail for me.
    Can we pretend this never happened?”

    I don’t get it… seems to me your book is EXACTLY the book for her…
    Congrats on your well deseved success – I can’t wait to start reading.
    Hugs,
    Elizabeth (a modern girl who casually mixes the profane with the sacred)

    Like

  296. Yikes – I’m still getting over the whole tonsilitis, bronchitis & sinitis…pick an itis….It’s been almost 4 weeks of this mess. I feel ya. Congrats on the the book!

    Like

  297. I am so excited that you will be in Concord. I was going to pick up the book, but now I will wait and get a signed copy! Thank you for being hilarious, and thank you for being real. I can’t wait!

    Like

    Dominique @ FreeToBeAthlete recently posted Three Legs Are Better Than One.

  298. I’m so sorry I missed you when you came to NYC, but it’s probably for the best because I think I might have burst into (happy) tears and hugged you for an inappropriately lengthy period of time. I loved your book and I’m so happy for all your success.

    Like

  299. GOOD LORD YOU’RE COMING TO CHICAGO

    Thank God. I was ready to wage war with states you’ve visited. Now all is okay.

    Like

    Alice recently posted Virginia Woolf, Sugared Almond-Pelter.

  300. Jenny,
    I was unable to see you in Lansing, because, I had to work..I know right? I thought about calling in sick, but I had already posted on my Facebook that you were coming…So, it is your patriotic duty to come back to Michigan. Or, fly me to Texas to Taxidermy with your Dad. Either way, its win.

    Love from the Mitten,

    Rebecca

    PS-You need to get Viktor a Taxidermed Bobcat for his Birthday, for his Office, wearing a cowboy hat and chaps.

    Like

  301. Wahoo! Chicago made the list! Can’t wait!

    Like

  302. DUDE! You totally added a leg of where I USED TO LIVE UNTIL 10 DAYS AGO! I’m SOOOOO bummed. Okay…midwest next. midwest next. I know you hit Chicago earlier, but I wasn’t in the midwest yet. Maybe souther in the midwest?

    I’m SO bummed. Curses.

    Like

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  303. Still no tour dates for the Northwest? Why must you be so cruel?

    Like

  304. Yay! Atlanta! Finally! 9 hours to Florida at 7.5 months pregnant is a bit much, but I think I can handle half an hour stuck in traffic to get to Buckhead!

    Like

    Cassondra recently posted Pregnancy advice, not like most of you care.

  305. WHEN and WHERE in Chicago?

    Like

  306. Come to the beautiful Pacific Northwest so I (and my sister, and my girlfriends, et al) can come see you!!!

    Like

  307. I have not laughed this hard in forever…seriously. Last night one the chapters I read was where you cleaned out your colon. I spent a good part of that chapter in the bathroom so I wouldn’t pee in the bed from laughing

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  308. 309
    Jizzbanger

    You should TOTALLY come to Memphis…tell your people this!!!!!

    I would absolutely love to come and see you and buy your awesome book, because I am a supporter of all things awesome…
    :)

    Like

  309. I recently reviewed the book on my blog. (PS–Thanks for being so amazing!)

    Like

  310. Congrats Blogess! That is so very cool!

    Like

    Denise Malloy recently posted It’s All In The Planning.

  311. Should probably be clever enough to say that the review of your book is here: http://www.dr-karma.com/

    Like

  312. Chicago in June? I may actually be able to make it depending on the dates. That would be epic.

    Like

  313. Ya know, Minneapolis is lovely this time of year. Just in case you’re available to book tour here!

    Like

  314. OH MY GOSH! You’re coming to Chicago? I may have to see you! I mean, I’m in Wisconsin, but I want to meet you, state lines be damned.

    Also, I was reading Lets Pretend This Never Happened in my shrink’s waiting room this morning, and I started giggling and grinning like a maniac and it felt really odd, but also oddly appropriate.

    Like

  315. Yay! Atlanta! I may actually be able to make one!!! I’m visiting my sister at the same time…. perfection.

    Like

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  316. Omgomgomg! I can’t believe you are coming to Annapolis! I am SO there. I am making the boyfriend come too, and plan on reading aloud from your book for the entire drive, so he will be up to speed on your awesomeness when we get there. You’re welcome.

    Get better soon, though i’ve heard that King Midas is tough to kick.

    Like

  317. Please Please PLEASE come to Minneapolis!!!

    Like

  318. Woo-hoo for the Maryland stops! I’ll be there with bells on. Well, not real bells. Unless you think that’s cool. Then I’ll totally wear bells. Jingle, jangle!

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  319. I hope you added some “cheerios” and such for the U.K. version so it will “translate.”

    Always here to help,
    jill

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    in bed with married women recently posted The Lush Sexuality of a Woman in Full Bloom.

  320. PLEASE COME TO NASHVILLE!!!

    Like

  321. I am so excited to see you’ll be in NJ!! Where and when? I so want to go!

    Like

  322. I am DEFINITELY coming to Annapolis!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Feel better!

    Like

  323. Please come to Nashville. You can stay at my house. Please.

    Or, you could stop by my house on your way from Atlanta to North Carolina to sign my book and say hi. It’s kind of on the way, but not really. Please.

    Like

  324. (Sad Face) Are you going to come back to Northern California? Would love to see you, adored the book!

    Like

  325. Nashville, please! Atlanta in the middle of the week just won’t do!

    Like

  326. Your welcome but team victor.

    Like

  327. Does this mean you’re coming back to California? Please please please? San Jose loves you!

    Like

  328. YAY Jenny! And I am half way through the book, if my kids would shhhh, I could finish it! :)

    Like

    Dana recently posted 2 1/2 Weeks of School To Go!.

  329. You’re my idol! Here’s hoping you feel better. I know all about stinkin’ sinuses! Argh!

    Like

  330. Oh, and I’d ask you to come to my town, but we don’t sell books here…..or really anything besides gas and Mickey D’s. So I better find your next stop..lol!

    Like

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  331. Thank you for all your awesomeness and your willingness to share with the rest of us that are slightly warped.

    I am ashamed to admit I missed you in San Antonio and Austin, TX and I live an hour from each. Timing just could not be worked out but I have friends who did make it and I hear you are even more awesome, if that is possible.

    Feel better soon and THANK YOU!

    Like

  332. Are you having an English leg? Of your tour? I’m off to Kindle to get it Whispered on over, but want to meet you in real life and just be in awe… So, whenya coming?!?! You can stay on our sofabed if you pass through Oxford :)

    Like

    Annabel recently posted Go to the Doghouse today, if it’s all that you do.

  333. No, Jenny, THANK YOU!!! I loved the book and I think I’m going to read it again on a blue day when I need a laugh or need some perspective. Thank you for always providing plenty of both.

    Like

    GurlNxtDoor recently posted V is for Vamping or Vorpmi.

  334. Thank you thank you thank you!!! I read whole chapters outloud to my friends, and we were laughing the whole time. Such a funny read and will definitely buy your next :)

    Like

  335. I’m another with my vote in for Seattle. :) I’ll even bring you TWO TACOS if you come. PLEEEEEASE???

    Like

  336. 337
    Kristina

    Feel better soon! Maybe you need a little down time? I really enjoyed the book, by the way.

    Like

  337. 338
    missicat

    Will definitely make my best effort to get to Annapolis…not too far to drive, and I know the area. I may be hiding in the ladies room but at least I know I will find you there….
    Who else is planning on going to the Annapolis signing?

    Like

  338. Well deserved ma’am; rock on.

    Like

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  339. Just finished last night – I’ve actually never laughed so much at a book in all my life! Recommending it to everyone now, so much to relate to!!

    Come to the UK, more specifically Scotland!!

    Like

  340. I’ll totally come to Annapolis, but can you clarify for me — it says tickets for the signing are provided with proof of purchase. I, uh, kind of pre-ordered my book via Amazon … does that mean B&N won’t let me approach?

    And will there be pitchforks involved if I attempt to?

    Like

  341. COME TO ST. LOUS!!! Close-ish to Chicago…get more out of your flight by hitting two cities in one trip. We also have a fantastic Indie bookshop (Left Bank Books!) that would be a perfect spot for you. I would like you to sign my book plate again…or my boob…people seem to enjoy that.

    Like

  342. So excited to see you in Annapolis!

    Like

  343. I know this would be a mutha-fuckin miracle, but I totally hope your book-signing gig in Chicago is the same week/end as the WizardWorld Con is. STAN-FUCKIN-LEE is gonna be there, as well as “my boys” –The stars of my (severely unhealthy–SHUP) obsession with all things Boondock Saints related. (Norman-FUCKIN-Reedus y’all, Rocco and Sean Patrick Flannery) I’mma gonna have to rob a bank or something. Thrice.

    I will totally hide in the bathroom with you, I promise to bring my flask & my very own ‘Judy Garland trail-mix’. I promise I’ll share.
    And if you need a place to crash, 3 hours south east of Chicago near Muncie {Go BALL U}, I offer my humble abode. We don’t answer the front door or nuttin. You can totally hide here….until my Mom shows up. Just try not to say the “FUCK” word around her too much, it makes her more nervous than a Chihuahua on water pills, red bull & crack. —
    Which is why we (me, my 18yr old daughter & sometimes, if he slips up, my 13 yr old son) say it all the time. It’s awesome. You’d love her. My mom, that is. You might like us too. I promise not to curtsy, it’s really hard with my cane & all. heehee

    YOU TOTALLY DESERVE ALL OF THIS….and just breatheeee, we love you. And then you can take a vacation. From your brain. And when you figure out how to do that, please let me know. I need one too. (Brain-cation)

    Like

  344. Chicago?!?!? Um, I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH for putting us on the tour! I cannot wait to meet you. OMG, I love you!!!

    Like

  345. I’m sorry you’re sick, and sorry I can’t read through 345 comments to see if anyone’s already asked this, but: did you talk to Wil Wheaton about how to handle book signings and meet n greets? I know everyone wants to hug you, but the sad truth is that you will stay MUCH healthier if you limit touching when possible. It sucks, but true fans will see it as helping you be a MORE productive writer! :-)

    Like

  346. Boston, MA would love to see you. :-)

    Like

  347. ohmygodohmygodohmygod!! you’re coming to BOSTON!??! for this, I will make a 4 hour drive to see you!!

    Like

  348. My mom and I really want to come see you in Chicago, but she hates driving in big cities, so we probably won’t come. But we want to!
    -RJ

    Like

    RJ recently posted RJ the Me and the Very Busy Next Two Weeks.

  349. For the love that is all that is good and holy, (insert Juanita pic)can you stop by Philly or nearby? Don’t make me get a hotel room to see you!!!!

    Like

    tanniah recently posted Last minute family fairy tale costumes.

  350. Your book was sitting on the coffee table when I let the ferrets out to play. Corrignoor pushed the book off the coffee table and was nudging it across the floor. I don’t think it will fit in the ferret stash.

    Like

  351. 352
    Setalora

    I bought the audiobook and love it. I listen to it while at work. Unfortunately, there are times I want to refer back, or share with my husband, and I can’t because my brain is incapable of recounting the story accurately or finding it again in the audio format; consequently, I now have to buy the damn e-book as well. Well played, Jenny, well played.

    Like

  352. Thanks to your book, a long flight from Houston to Rio passed very quickly! Any Canadian stops planned for your tour? Pretty please?

    Like

  353. Ugh, traveling is the worst for your health. Drink lots of water and avoid sugar if you can, okay? Road warriors need to stay healthy!

    It’s great that I may get a second chance to see you in NY, having missed it the first time. Just don’t come the last week of June, pretty please!

    Like

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  354. Oh, snap!!! I will definitely be in Gaithersburg!!!

    Like

  355. Been made redundant so with no money have been debating whether I am better buying some dinner or your book. Am going for your book, as who needs a full belly when you can have a belly laugh .

    Like

  356. I really wish I could come hear you speak and have you sign your book for me!! Unfortunately I’m stationed at Shaw AFB and they have me working both nights. You’ll be only a few hours from me.. and that hurts me but it’s also exciting bc you’re like RIGHT there. I could reach out and touch you! Well not really… bc that would be creepy. But still! I could at least bask in your pure amazingness! *sigh*

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  357. I love it that the email I just got from Barnes & Noble lists LPTNH as a Mother’s Day read! I may have to re-read it tomorrow just because it’s that good. The husband is getting used to my laughing aloud and muttering to myself as I read it.

    Like

    Jean recently posted Good Intentions and All That.

  358. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! I am so excited you are coming to NJ!!!! And I just found my very own Beyonce–it was fate that I found her just this week in time for me to bring her to you so you can sign her!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! Thank YOU for writing this wonderful book and writing your wonderful blog–we adore you here in Jersey!! FIST PUMP!!!!

    Like

    Jennifer C. recently posted STAMPAGANZA Begins June 1!!.

  359. Congratulations! Thank you for being you and you deserve more credit than we do. You know, since you’re the funny one.

    I’m looking forward to the day you have enough taxidermied critters that you can present a full orchestra.

    Like

    Jack W recently posted Test Post.

  360. You know, Phoenix is in the top 5 biggest cities, and I know for a fact you have a ton of fans out here. Just sayin’ . . .

    Like

    Spencer recently posted My Pride Is Showing.

  361. No, thank you. I wish you could come to me here in Kentucky. It would be really awesome to hear you speak/read. I love the book: could barely finish the chapter on Stanley the Magical Squirrel, I was laughing so hard. So hard that I’d then start coughing and hacking and it wasn’t pretty, but it was wonderful. Thank you.

    Like

    J.P. recently posted Friday Beau.

  362. 364
    Abby Knoblauch

    I hope you get well soon. In book news, I was reading in bed last night and was laughing so hard that I was freaking my puppy out. That’s not a euphemism.

    Like

  363. I’m not one to ever go to book signings, but, holy shit, I might just break that rule.

    Like

  364. Another voice from the Seattle contingent!

    Like

  365. 367
    Michelle G

    Awesome!!! I recommend your book to everyone I know! Can you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE, WITH A CHERRY ON TOP COME TO TORONTO? Or Guelph, nice town, I live there. PLEASE????? I’ll be forever thankful, and I’ll bring you Starbucks, or a taxidermied warthog. PLEASE?????

    Like

  366. PLEASE COME TO BOSTON!

    Like

  367. I tried to email, but it was kicked back…so this is going to be a long comment…apologies in advance

    I know you get these emails all the time…”oh my gosh, you’re so funny….blah, blah, blah”, and of course, here I am sending another one.  I just HAD to write, though, because I am also a (former, thank God) west Texas girl.  And you think you were shunned in school….

    How about growing up poor IN Midland, where everyone had a lot of money or worked very hard to appear that way.  Everyone except my mother, that is…who insisted that homemade clothes from my grandmother (which always came in two sizes…one for me, one for my older sister….which naturally meant that I got to suffer through every article of clothing twice, because I got the hand me downs too), and thrift store items from the seventies were WAY better than clothes from Dillard’s, where I sooooo longed to shop.  And if the clothes weren’t reason enough for me to be ruthlessly mocked by the mean queens of middle school, there was also the VW bus that mom insisted on driving.  That was poop brown.  I wish I was making all of this up.  

    I did escape for awhile, and find solace in New Mexico, where I actually did find acceptance and a thriving social life for awhile.  Although it was just in Roswell, which at the time was solely known as “that place I stopped to pee on my way to go skiing in Ruidoso”, prior to all the alien hubbub (and don’t think I don’t hear enough of the alien/UFO/probing jokes when I tell people where I went to high school).  New Mexico in that area was basically west Texas with smaller malls.  

    We have lived in the Dallas area for twelve years now, and I will say that for the first couple of years, I would have gone back to Midland in a heartbeat.  I still have some of my family there, and my husband is from Andrews (if you’ve ever heard of it), so most of his family is still in the area between Andrews and Snyder (site of the yearly family reunion.  In a building called “the barn”.  With a tin roof, no a/c, held every year in the first weekend of August (wtf is wrong with these people?).

    Sorry…the whole reason for this diatribe is to tell you that I relate very much to your book…and my friend who is reading it too says that every page reminds her of me….only maybe on crack.  Which I took as a compliment…hope you do too.  And to let you know that I purchased miniature versions of Beyonce the chicken at our monthly trade days and gave them to my best pals.  Mine is Roscoe P Coltrane.  ;-)

    II enjoy your writing as only someone with a common background could….someone who caught horny toads as a kid, to see if they really squirt blood out their eyeballs when threatened (I personally never saw it…I guess I don’t frighten horny toads much), some who actually played with tumbleweeds larger that myself, and thought dust devils were the runt of the tornado litter.  In short (too late for that, I now realize)….please keep doing what you do.  I definitely appreciate it!

    A fan,
    Debbie

    Like

  368. No. Thank YOU for being so awesome!

    Like

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  369. Come to Houston ;) All of those are so far considering you are so close.

    Like

  370. 372
    Stefanie

    Believe it or not, but you DO have fans in conservative UT!! (one, so far….ME) However, I have been actively been spreading the gospel of Jenny to all that will listen. Actually, I COMMAND that they read your posts! Much love and much luck to you!

    Like

  371. 373
    Maggie Vaughn

    Wooo!!! Three generations of Jenny fans headed to Gaithersburg! Admittedly, one generation is only 5 years old . . .she is a future fan. And my little Juanita Weasel will make a perfect dashboard co-pilot!

    Like

  372. You need to come to Minneapolis!! Pretty please!

    Like

  373. Jenny – looks like I have joined you in the League of Those With Auto-Immune Disorders. This week, a neurologist at Methodist Hospital diagnosed me with myasthenia gravis, and the next couple of weeks are being devoted to tests to determine the extent to which I am affected, as well as plasma exchanges to get rid of the antibodies. At least now I have an answer for why I have been so damned exhausted all the time, and afraid to go out in crowds (which is why I didn’t see you at your tour stop in Houston – for which I made up by purchasing your audiobook in addition to the Kindle edition.)

    Take care, and keep up the good work!
    ~EdT.

    Like

    EdT. recently posted Two Words.

  374. Woot!

    Like

    Muskrat recently posted the last of the littles hits 2.

  375. That book is the only thing to make me laugh out loud after my awful breakup; you MAY have saved my sanity; thank you:)

    Like

  376. When you were a kid, if you ever dreamed that what was going on would land you where you are, did you ever actually believe that it would?

    You are amazing and so deserving. Congrats on all of it :) Wish you were headed back to the SF Bay Area!

    Like

    XLMIC recently posted Thirteen Thursday.

  377. Still no Indiana : (

    Like

  378. Congratulations!

    Like

    Stephanie recently posted A Quiche by Any Other Name is a Tart.

  379. You are coming here! I am so excited and will be there!

    Like

  380. 383
    Danielle

    Man, by the time I move back to the states you will be far away! dang it !!!!

    Like

  381. I’ve been reading your book on my Kindle. Love it!

    Like

  382. Holy shitsnacks!!! You are coming to NC!!!! Can’t wait to meet you and thank you personally for making me laugh out loud while reading a book…in public. And I love when someone asks what I’m laughing at and I get to read passages to them like the wine-tasting review comments. LOL!

    Like

  383. Start taking Airborne. It’s practically koolaid but with good stuff in it. There’s also this stuff called Immune-C and Emergen-C …something like that. But you have to use it like mad (couple bottles) for a couple of days. Then just start having the Airborne a couple times a day. Better vitamins than nasty pharmaceuticals that will just kill you in the end. Just sayin…

    xoxoxo

    Like

  384. Congratulations! You are welcome but YOU are the one who did all the work!! I can’t wait to read it!!

    Like

  385. You are welcome – I just downloaded it. YOU HAVE NO IDEA how hard it was to wait – I was making myself finish the book I was reading before your’s came out. But I am SOOOOOO excited to start. The acknowledgement page alone is worth the 12.99 I paid for the book.

    Like

    Ashley recently posted Mother’s Day.

  386. 389
    CherBearBlue

    Ahhh!! I’m SO HAPPY you’re coming to CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jenny!!!!

    Like

  387. STILL NO PACIFIC NORTHWEST STOPS. This is just wrong. And discriminatory.

    If I make really big sad pathetic eyes will your publisher schedule a book signing in Seattle or Portland? Pretty please?

    Like

    Barnmaven recently posted One of millions of gratuitious Mother's Day blog posts..

  388. I’m so excited!! You’re coming near me on the new leg of the tour!!! I have no idea how to get to Gaithersburg from Northern VA, but I will see you there!!

    Like

    @rdweatherly recently posted Never say goodbye.

  389. Will see you in Chicago!!!

    Like

  390. 393
    Karlalala

    You deserve it. It is such a good book. I may have been caught reading it on my kindle at a conference when I laughed out loud at an inappropriate time in an education session.

    Like

  391. I can’t wait to see you thursday. My Sister and I will be coming from the upper part of SC.

    Like

  392. Just bought copies for myself, my mom, and my mother in law, and would love to see you in SEATTLE! I hope there’s a leg 4 for us out on the west coast!

    Like

  393. I seriously just did one of those fist pumps to the side with the combination knee lift when I saw you are coming to NC!!!! I don’t care who is watching my kids but I am going to be there!

    Like

    Christy recently posted Stuffed monkey puppet? No thank you. Evil Homicidal Monkey? Yes, please!.

  394. Denver, Denver, Denver. My new mantra

    Like

    Mary recently posted Club W.

  395. I’ll be there in Chicago. Also, will try not to hit on your readers. (no promises)

    Like

    Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted Best Advertising Request EVER.

  396. You are awesome. Also I hope the NJ stop is in S. Jersey close to Philadelphia (although coming to Philly itself would better!)

    Like

  397. COME TO SEATTLE. I’ll take you to see the troll under the Freemont bridge.

    Like

    jenelle recently posted Be afraid, I’ve been thinking…..

  398. Hey! So I should probably leave this comment on the Beyonce thread but it’s got like a bajillion comments on it already and, well, this post is RIGHT HERE AT THE TOP. So, I am a crazy chicken lady, and next week I am getting a pair of show chickens. Well, a show hen and a show rooster. AND I AM NAMING THE ROOSTER BEYONCE. Just thought you’d like to know :D

    Like

  399. Congratulations, Jenny! You do us Houstonians proud. Good luck as the tour unfurls.
    Chitra

    Like

  400. Thank YOU for writing this book. It made me really happy.

    You should totally come to the U.K. and continue your book tour over here. I’ll buy you an icecream. WITH a flake! AND sprinkles!

    Like

    The String Empire recently posted The String Empire's first Giveaway!.

  401. Crossing my fingers that Boston will be early in June. I am now buying a copy of the book, just so you can sign it! Well, that and the fact that our library waitlist is prejudiced against college students. (Seriously. No offense to all you middle-aged mothers, but I was definitely before you! Cheaters.)

    Like

    Katy recently posted Day in the Life of a Housesitter.

  402. Just waiting for the Chicago date!

    Feel better and enjoy this time!!

    Like

    tracey recently posted Pictures, pictures....

  403. 406
    Athena Letourneau

    You should add Vermont to your book tour! We really like wine and dark humor here. For realz. :)

    Get well soon!

    Like

    Athena Letourneau recently posted Pop culture sexism and self-esteem.

  404. What about Kansas City?? There are tons of us here who would love to have you come.

    Like

    Jen at PIWTPITT recently posted TIME Magazine.

  405. I’m very excited because I joined a book club and convinced the club that our next book should be yours. I can’t wait to read it and although I’ve seen your book on the NYT list, I think I saw it posted as a must read in Whole Living. However, been reading your for a long time now because I love your voice.

    Can’t wait to read it.

    Like

    littlemsblogger recently posted Yin and Yang.

  406. I am in love with Ron. Also Copernicus, not to mention Wolf Blitzen. Guess we have the same sick sense of humor. I’ll keep my eye out for more taxidermied buddies.
    Victor needs to get a grip. They are adorable.
    Fee

    Like

  407. I just finished the book. Not because I’m a really slow reader, but because I just bought it yesterday. I waited to buy it because I wanted to make sure the book would stay on the NYT bestseller list even after the initial rush was over. I delayed my own gratification for your sake. It had almost nothing to do with the fact that I was too broke to buy it when it first came out. Anyway, I loved every word and I am still marketing at your ability to make me laugh on one page and cry on the next page and frequently do both at once. Thank YOU.

    Like

    Natalie recently posted An Open Letter to Sean Harris.

  408. YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!! You will be at the Gaithersburg book festival! I WILL BE THERE!!!

    Like

  409. Arghh!!! I typed my first comment on my phone and just now realized that it autocorrected “marvelling” to “marketing.” I am going to go smash my phone with a hammer now for making me look stupid and incoherent.

    Like

    Natalie recently posted An Open Letter to Sean Harris.

  410. 413
    Michelle

    Another vote for Minneapolis, MN here! It’s a short plane, train, or drive from Chicago.

    Like

  411. Thank YOU so much for all the times I have felt like !@#$% and found my way to your words and wind up laughing myself silly.
    I am hoping to zip to the Chicago leg, although I fear I will blurt out socially inappropriate comments like “you smell nice” or “you sure purdy”.
    Have a fantastic time!
    Kerry at HouseTalkN

    Like

    Kerry Rossow recently posted A Guest Blogger For Mother's Day....

  412. 415
    Christal

    I intended to buy the book through you to get it autographed…. and I stood in the bookstore reading it and laughing and finally just walked right up to the cash register and bought it. Thanks. But now it’s not autographed. However, I did re-watch some Star Trek on Netflix just to see Wesley in his earlier years because of collating. I hope he’s getting residuals. Loved the book! & the Blog.

    Like

  413. 416
    Longshot

    Dear Jenny,
    I got your book in the mail on Friday, and I laughed until my sides hurt 3 times before I got to page 20! I’m halfway through and I swear to you I haven’t laughed this hard at the material in a book in MANY YEARS!

    Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing this! :) I’m sorry I wasn’t able to go to your events while you were in Austin & Dallas. I regret that.

    I grew up in Houston btw, and my family is still there.

    I’m so glad your book has met with such success – it *deserves* it! I intend to have as many friends as possible read it. Shouldn’t be a tough sell :D

    Like

  414. 417
    Lara J. Gibson

    Jenny, I loved the Audible version of your book and I think you should record a GPS voice with random Tangents to go between turning directions… I would totally buy it… and wish you were coming to Minneapolis Minnesota….Good luck on the UK premier

    Lara J

    Like

  415. 418
    Kim Gourlay

    My husband helped by buying me your book for Mother’s Day! Now I have a reason o wet my pants when I laugh.

    Like

    Kim Gourlay recently posted Gatefold Card CAS.

  416. we are planning a trip from richmond va to your annapolis signing!!! hurrray :-D

    Like

  417. BOSTON! We are going to drink booze slushees under tables surrounded by whimsical dead animals dressed in people clothes AND IT’S GOING TO BE SO AWESOME.

    Like

    alonewithcats recently posted And then I got a book deal and was mentioned in The New York Times. Sort of..

  418. You…should add Hampton Roads VA to your tour. ;O

    Like

    Rebekah Mae recently posted There's a strong chance that I'm moving to New England in the Fall.

  419. Still no Michigan leg, not feeling the love. Congrats on your extended tour and you definitely belong on the NYT best seller list.

    Like

  420. Please come to Canada. It’s not that far.

    Like

  421. You’re coming back to New York? Awesome! I will certainly come again (“support my friends” being my number 1 credo) and this time bring all my other friends who couldn’t make it & were insanely jealous that I got to go. Hopefully Marinka can make it again, too.

    Like

    Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted Talking about Screen-love at Hopeful Parents.

  422. Just read about a shop in NYC called Obscura Antiques and Oddities. Sounds like your kind of place, full of dead animals and other ghoulish delights. I think you should definitely go there, but don’t tell Victor. You’ll probably get a great blog entry and some cool dead stuff, so WIN-WIN!

    Like

  423. I’m disappointed that Middle Of Nowhere here isn’t on your tour schedule, but I bought my copy tonight and I’m SO EXCITED!! Thanks for being very possibly the funniest person on the planet.

    Like

  424. Dear PR Guy, upon further consideration, I no longer think the Bloggess should extend her tour to include Indianapolis. Instead, I think she needs to go home, hide for a while, and find her happy-place again. Thank you and have an awesome day!

    Like

    Chris Dean recently posted The Computer Was Right....

  425. 428
    Karen Eggers

    Ordered my copy online, got my signed note card. Read the book in one day, and then let my sister borrow it. Now your coming here, so my sister gets to keep the copy I loaned her, and I will buy a new copy to have you sign in person…

    I am so excited…I am going out of town next weekend, but will get back just in time to get to the signing.

    Like

  426. So happy for you! Arm chair cheering from afar. :)

    Like

    Cheryl recently posted Kreativ Blogger Award.

  427. 430
    Average Jill

    Come to Kansas City. Pretty please? With sugar on top?

    Like

  428. So, when is the UK leg? And the UK audio book release? We wait with bated breath…. (well, I held my breath for a few seconds to make that statement a little more true, so that counts, right?!)

    Like

  429. Chapters downtown (Ottawa) has a full display for your book as it is a pick of the month – I have a photo, and as of May 11th you are #5 on the top 20 most popular books for Amazon Canada…….

    Like

  430. Thank you for the best Mother’s Day ever!

    Like

  431. When you say New York, you mean New York State, right? (C’mon! Give Western New York your love! We have Buffalo Wings and a waterfall and wine (much of it better than you’d think it’d be) I WILL MAKE EVERYONE I KNOW COME TO YOUR READING! Sorry, my caps lock got stuck there.) ;D

    Like

    Kate recently posted Gratituous Cat Picture Friday (this week on Saturday!).

  432. Good job, kid. V. G. Job!

    Like

  433. 436
    Kathleen

    Thank you thank you THANK YOU for putting Atlanta on your book tour! I can’t wait! (And Annapolis, because my bestie in Maryland would have been pissed if I got to see you and she didn’t)

    Like

  434. 437
    KC Hotvedt

    Can’t wait to read the book just waiting for it to come in the mail. Your two biggest fans live in Grand Forks ND. If you ever want to feel like you live in the biggest city ever you should come up here. I’m telling you, you will feel amazing after seeing how we live. LOL

    Like

  435. Hi! I just wanted to let you know two things about your book. One: I was in a GOOD book store in Asheville, NC this week and they had a display for your book. But I couldn’t find it on the shelves. So I asked, and they had sold out of it!

    Second: I was just looking up “Prague Winter” – where Madeline Albright talks about her holy-shit-I’m-Jewish childhood on audible.com – and your book was listed as “what’s trending in bios and memoirs”. So you are in a way MORE INTERESTING than Madeline Albright and finding out you’re Jewish after 40 (?) ish years.

    Oh. And while I was on vacation in Asheville I spent most of the time reading your book. Though luckily not in public. Because that shit made me pee myself laughing. And then I cried. And then I laughed again. And I’m pretty sure that response gets you sent to a “home”.

    Like

  436. Jenny! You are absolutely brilliant!!! I am so happy to see that your book tour will bring you to Chicago!!! Post details as soon as possible!

    Like

  437. 440
    LaKishia Sweat

    It sucks that you are going to be so close to me here in North Carolina, but still so far away!!

    Like

  438. OMG YOU’RE COMING TO CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!
    *hyperventillates*

    Like

  439. Chicago Folks – once we know where she’s going to be we need to totally get a huge group together at a nearby bar before getting in line. Like a book club but with more booze

    Like

  440. Excellent. You’re coming to Annapolis. Buford my taxidermied toad and I plan to be in attendance!

    Like

  441. Imagine my joyful surprise as I looked for a book in the airport bookstore and found yours!!! I had been meaning to and wanting to buy it since it was first released! I’m loving every minute of it, though many people on the plane gave me odd looks as I periodically burst out into fits of laughter. Thanks for continuing to brighten my day!

    And just to add my two cents…you should totally add Portland, OR to your book tour!!!

    Like

  442. 445
    Carla Angell

    OMW I am SO excited… I will be there in Concord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  443. OMG! I have bronchitis and sinusitis TOO. Do you think we got it in Miami? I bet it was that dump Versace called a house.

    Like

    Justice Fergie recently posted Bag Hag.

  444. I will definitely come to the Boston one! Even if I have to skip class!!!!

    Like

  445. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease come to New Orleans!

    Jazz! Bourbon Street! Voodoo! Think of all the fun times to be had. Hell, you should just come to NOLA anyway, even if it’s not officially part of your tour, and we could hang out. Drinks are on me.

    Like

  446. I had a craptastic week. Then I read the book. Thanks. Just. Thanks. I feel much better now.
    And you should totally come to Albuquerque for your book tour…and you can come meet ‘Lil Kim, the giant metal chicken we gave my sister in law for her birthday. It was in September, so her balloons popped. And the party hat blew away, but she’s still awesome!

    Like

  447. Boo, I have to work the night you’re in Atlanta! Well, if you get through the signing and want a drink, I’ll be at the patio bar of Hudson Grille in Brookhaven. 4046 Peachtree Road, not that far from the store you’ll be signing at. Your first drink’s on me if you come over!

    Like

  448. Hi! Maybe I’m asking a really dumb question you’ve already answered a million times, but are you planning a Canadian tour???? I would scroll through the comments for an answer, but there are like 5 million :)

    Like

  449. When are you coming to Chicago? I need to plan my life around it.

    Also, you should probably check out your Contemporary Black Biography: http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/Jennifer_Lawson.aspx

    I found it when I was trying to search your tour dates….

    Like

  450. Leg Four? Portland/Seattle? Pretty please?

    Like

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  451. I laughed out loud the whole way through and read it in one day. My BFF texted me first thing this am to say she has been laughing out loud reading it too.

    Thank YOU, for putting yourself, your story and your talent into this book. It was even better than I expected.
    Chris

    Like

  452. Seriously… How many do I have to buy to get you to SLC

    Like

    Kerry :) recently posted Dark Shadows… MmmmmHmmmm.

  453. I see that NY is listed on your book tour….. UPSTATE perhaps? And by that I mean Albany, because in New York you need to specify where in Upstate you are located because most of the State is Upstate from New York City…….any way. Fingers crossed for Albany! :-)

    Like

  454. I don’t suppose there’s any hope of a Columbus, Dayton or Cincinnati Ohio visit?

    Like

  455. 459
    Stephanie

    I might have to plan my trip to NY around your tour schedule! I saw you in SF and totally failed at my mission to be witty enough in two sentences to make you my new best friend… Maybe NY… Maybe NY…

    Like

  456. YAY and congratulations! Over-the-top happy that you are coming to Chicago!

    Like

  457. Seattle, pretty please!

    Like

  458. I convinced my book club that your book was a must. It’s our next read. 14 more copies sold! :)

    Like

  459. I am so sad because I just finished your book:( I wish there was more to read. It was hilarious and helped me get through the Lupus flare up I’ve been experiencing lately!

    Like

  460. I’ll be there in Maryland! Of course I will.

    Love you, feel better! <3

    PS. STILL cant believe you're going to be, like, 10 miles away from my house!!!! You could come stalk me. I make good food! I'm a Pastry Chef!

    Like

    Lesley recently posted Fairy Tales: And Then The Spider Almost KILLED Me. True Story..

  461. Aw man! I used to live right by the Concord Mills mall but we just moved! And I was out of the state when you came to Houston where we are now. Bah, I’m sad. Love the book though!

    Like

  462. CHICAGO? REALLY?!?! I am soooooooo excited!!! You better not be joshin’ me!

    Like

  463. I love your site and your book… http://wp.me/p1WZPw-pDX
    I was going to send you a baster but I didn’t want to do something that would cause you to relive your childhood.. oh yeah you wrote a book on that.
    I would pass your book on to my friends but they should buy their own because I’m keeping mine and even though they say they are giving it back you know they never do. I just can’t chance it!

    Like

  464. Will you please come to Louisville ky?
    I promise to bring you something dead that has on a cute outfit!

    Like

  465. So looking forward to your arrival in Gaithersburg, MD! Seriously. And I’m not saying that just because my in-laws will have been in my house for 3 days by the time you arrive and I’ll totally need a break by that point. PS, I’m totally asking you to sign my Kindle.

    Like

    Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food recently posted What happens at Vegas Night....

  466. So you should totally come somewhere closer to me, like nashville or birmingham because both me and my aunt would come see you!!!!!

    Like

    Katie recently posted Hello All.

  467. I guess I dont understand. Or maybe I don’t read well. It could have something to do with that amazing low reading comprehension score in English. . .my whole life. But I simply don’t see Chicago on the list. It feels discriminatory. I wonder if the ACLU knows about this. I wonder what Gloria Alred would think. You know, Obama’s from here and he reads your stuff. By the time you get us on your schedule, we should have this NATO crap cleaned up. Oh, and that bullshit about Capone, he’s dead anyway. Now Rham is in charge. It’s the same, except you’re safe.

    Like

  468. Oh, and Atlanta? Not too imaginative on the street naming thing. We have more than one street in Chicago, and none of them are Peachtree.

    Like

    Margie Kruse recently posted The Super Power Of The Oath.

  469. 473
    Danielle t

    Dude you have to come louisville KY. The only thing we are famous for is over (ky derby) but we could hook you up with some chicken :) I really need you to sign my nook. I’m kinda obsessed with you after reading your book. Can’t wait to see u!!

    Like

  470. Please, please, please come to New Mexico! We love you here! I had pre-ordered the book and read it in two days! Laugh-out-loud hilarious! Loved it!

    Like

  471. If you need a reason to come out to Honolulu, HI on your book tour, here it is: I would definitely come out to see you and I would bring you homemade brownies. And I would even try really hard not to make that seem creepy.

    Like

  472. Did I miss it? When is Chicago? I’m so excited that you’re coming to my city so I can get my book signed!

    Like

    Tina :) recently posted Ms. Tina, Preschool Teacher.

  473. Minnesota! You need to come to the twin cities!!! Ever hear of MN nice? It just means we are passive aggressive and won’t call you on your shit to your face and talk about you behind your back… We will make you feel good about yourself while you are here though… think about it… seriously.

    Like

  474. 478
    Tracey S.

    BOSTON!!! *SQUEE* Do we have a date yet? Was it announced and I missed it? Because that happens a lot to me. I’m pretty oblivious sometimes. But yeah… BOSTON!!!!! Can’t Wait!

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  475. So, you’re going to New York and you’re going to Boston… and no Hartford and no New Haven… Rats.
    Rats without coats. Rats without names. Rats who wish that one of the publicity people had thought about calling that nifty Barnes&Noble in Glastonbury CT.
    I’ll buy you cake. Heck, I’ll bring gluten-free cake.

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  476. Will they be sending you to Europe? I hope so!! I’d love to meet you. I was just in NYC but missed you… ^_^

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    Giulia recently posted let’s pretend this never happened.

  477. Ok so date for Chicago? Or you could skip that and go to Indy, or Cinci, or Louisville I’m not bias. They are all in travel range for a day. I will bake a wicked cake if you go to one of those 3 because I do not think the train conductors will appreciate a cake coming on to the train because then I might be reduced to making a cupcake or cookies or brownies. Yeah thats too plain. Cakes are better.

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    Sammi recently posted I really need to get work done but.....

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