Thank you. Seriously.

May 10, 2012

in Let's Pretend This Never Happened,Random crap

This isn’t a real post. It’s a thank you.

Thank you because for the third week in a row Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is on the NYT list. Thank you because today is the premiere of my book in the UK. Thank you for making the tour so successful that they’ve added another leg (or two) of the tour. I still don’t know how this happened, but I do know who to thank.

Thank you.

Click on the links for all the gory details:

May 16th ~ 7pm : Atlanta, Georgia

May 17th ~ 7pm : Concord, North Carolina

May 19th ~ 4:40pm : Gaithersburg Book Festival

May 20th ~ 2pm : Annapolis, Maryland

Will you come? Pretty please?

PS. This is where I’d put something funny and clever but I’m not funny because I have tonsillitis, sinusitis, bronchitis and Ancient-King-Midas.

PPS. That’s sick humor. It doesn’t translate well. I apologize.

{ 481 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Rob R May 10, 2012 at 12:37 pm: And thank you for being you and also for picking me to win your book. I just might have to make a trip to your NC signing.
Rob R recently posted..I Live in North Carolina and I’m Sort Of Not Ashamed to Admit It
2 Heather May 10, 2012 at 12:37 pm: Yay! Legs!
3 Sarah Rooftops May 10, 2012 at 12:37 pm: My (UK) copy arrived a few days ago. I’m about halfway through and loving it.
Sarah Rooftops recently posted..How to Make Your Blog More User Friendly
4 Carrie May 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm: Congratulations! I am not able to go to any of your stops, but I cheer you on from my home!
5 heather ozee May 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm: feel better bloggess!
heather ozee recently posted..France, Napoleon, and Marie
6 "Susan Says..." May 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm: You are most welcome. I wish you’d come to my house as part of your tour.

Feel better fast!
“Susan Says…” recently posted..The John Travolta Mess or Say it Ain’t So, Vinnie Barbarino!
7 Kerri F May 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm: Wow…I hope you feel better soon!! Congrats! I’ve just begun reading your book & it is hilarious! I think you should add Phoenix to your tour…just sayin.
Kerri F recently posted..Proof I Watch Too Much Criminal Minds
8 Whitney May 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm: Oh, please come to Boston! I know you have fans here and I would love to hear you speak. And the accent? C’mon, listening to real Bostonians on the T (i.e. subway) is worth the trip alone.
9 Amanda May 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm: Feel better soon! That Midas shit is the worst.
Amanda recently posted..my London goal, or accidental stalking
10 Brenna May 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm: I think Ancient-King-Midas! Except everything I touch does NOT turn to gold….
Conga-rats on the Tour! You deserve it!
Brenna recently posted..Did that really just happen….?
11 Kat May 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm: Oh hells yes – Finally some Chicago lovin! I will have to hunt for some Mosefoy worthy taxidermy around here…
12 Leslie May 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm: Sorry you’re feeling icky…hope you feel better soon…..

Can’t wait to meet you, now in NJ probably…since that will be closer than MD and I’m kinda lazy when it comes to driving long distances…
13 Banana Stickers May 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm: You are so fucking welcome. Thank you for sharing your awesomeness.
Banana Stickers recently posted..Aw, look at the cute little baby pig! (so sorry about your privates)
14 Amber May 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm: I keep hoping you’ll come to my neck of the woods, but alas, I guess it was never meant to be…
15 Becky May 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm: I keep looking and St. Louis is never on there. I’d buy 5 copies of your book if you would just come to The Lou!!!
Is that bribery enough???
Becky recently posted..Dear North Carolina, You Did it Wrong
16 Erin May 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm: Can I lure you to Chicago with the offer of a taxidermied puffer fish with googly eyes? The eyes are fake, but the fish is real.
17 Danielle May 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm: We want to see you on the west coast again!! Oregon to be exact. I’d drive anywhere in the state for a signing because you’re awesome!
18 WilyGuy May 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm: Oh, Gaithersburg…I’m so up in you!

I’ll be bringing a gift… No you shouldn’t be afraid… You should be all “I can’t wait for Gaithersburg”… Just like I am…

WG
WilyGuy recently posted..The Lesson of the Reef Tank
19 Jena May 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm: Ugh it would be amazing to see you in Cincinnati, I still need to read your book, but I wanna because I know it’s awesome
Jena recently posted..Pill Swallowing and Sword Fighting
20 Erin H. May 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm: I’ll be there to get my copy signed in Atlanta!! Huzzah! Hope you feel better soon…
21 Beckster May 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm: TULSA, OK???!!!! It’s not very far from home!!
22 Mels May 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm: gaithersburg! YAY!
Mels recently posted..Cycling ’round again
23 daniel May 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm: Still waiting on a Seattle stop…
daniel recently posted..Meanwhile At Safeco Field
24 Kimbo May 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm: Ok, I am cruel fan to ask this of you when you’re suffering from so many itises (yeah…that’s not a word, and if it is, damned if I know what it means) BUT please come to Toronto. It’s all the excitement of going to another country without having to go very far at all. PLEEEAAAAASSSEE!

Even if you ignore my desperate please, you are so totally welcome. Your amazingness is the antidote for shittiness on the internet. Good for you, lady!
Kimbo recently posted..Jane’s Walk
25 Amanda May 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm: I will eat fish and chips while looking at a photo of you.

Also, can Heather Barmore and I just have you come to Upstate NY for a very mellow reading. We’ll cure you of any lingering itises. I take that back, you’d probably leave with one, but it’d be cool and make you carry the spirit of hicks, lumberjacks and the generally underestimated but-cooler-than-shit and capable of more than you think people who live ’round here.
Amanda recently posted..Go Get Your Tap Shoes
26 Kelly May 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm: Hooray for adding Boston! Can’t wait!
27 Jessi May 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm: Yay Chicago! I will definitely see you there! Unless your tour date is the one weekend I’m out of town…then I’ll just cry
Jessi recently posted..Tissue Paper Cherry Blossoms
28 Snarky Amber May 10, 2012 at 12:48 pm: Sulking in Seattle.
Snarky Amber recently posted..Daddy Issues Dominate Upcoming Movie Sequels
29 Tracey C May 10, 2012 at 12:48 pm: Nuts! Concord’s only 2.5 hours away, but a five hour road-trip the night before I have to leave for the coast (for a wedding)… I need to find somebody else who loves you here to carpool with. Anyone from the Triangle who wants to split driving/gas? I have a car (it’s a manual), what could go wrong?
30 Robin May 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm: Ah, New Jersey, excellent! I did not get to come up to the first NY signing, so perhaps I’ll be able to make this one! Fabulous!
Robin recently posted..Ironic Mustache Sexycat Wednesday!
31 Issa May 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm: *cough* WHAT ABOUT DENVER!!!!! *cough*
Issa recently posted..This morning
32 Steve May 10, 2012 at 12:51 pm: If I say that I will see you on leg three and that I will be there with bells on…will you actually be expecting me to wear bells? See you in Chicago!!
33 D'Arcy Rheault May 10, 2012 at 12:51 pm: For the love that is good and worth your time… can you PLEASE come to CANADA! Toronto is only 90 minutes from me and I would very much like to see you in person!!! Please??
34 Lorie May 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm: All signs point to seeing you at the Gaithersburg Book Festival. Hubby and daughters are coming too (though I have the feeling that they’re going to wonder off and leave me in the vast crowds rushing to meet you)! If you handle the crowd, so can I!

Feel better! I heard whiskey, straight with a bourbon chaser is great for whatever ails you!
35 Ana May 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm: I am beyond excited that you’re going to New York again. I’ll have to plan a trip there that day. I absolutely refuse to miss you again!
But Rhode Island and Connecticut are often ignored locations and I’m sure they would both make excellent tour stops.
Just a thought.
Ana recently posted..College: A Wrap Up. (And Also Boobies.) Part Three!
36 Sara May 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm: Toronto would love to meet you!
37 Lisa May 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm: My 6 year old saw the picture above and said “That’s George Washington.” HAHAHAHAHA! Kinda.. She is taking the nation by storm, it appears.
38 Peg May 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm: Yay! I’m so excited you are coming to NC!!
39 Carissa May 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm: Please come to Denver! Read your book on my flights this week and I am pretty sure the strangers next to me thought I was crazy because I was laughing so hard!
40 kimberly May 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm: Anywhere in AZ….pretty please???
41 Christy May 10, 2012 at 12:54 pm: GAH! I need to request time off and make a roadtrip to Atlanta! ORRRRRRRR you could get them to send you to Jacksonville, FL. That would be pretty sweet.

I’ll cook dinner!
Christy recently posted..Shirt of the Now – Friday, 04/13/2012
42 Big Mike May 10, 2012 at 12:54 pm: I’m not sure which side of the “boob signing fence” you ended up on (wouldn’t that be an awesome fence?), but if you come to Calgary (Canada), I’d totally sign your boob.
43 Squisha May 10, 2012 at 12:54 pm: Go West, young lady!
To Denver.
(Take your time. It must be exhausting to be traveling and keeping your face on all the time!)
44 Melissa May 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm: Feel better rightquick!
I just finished your chapter on needing an old priest and a young one…thanks for reminding me why I don’t live in the country.
Melissa recently posted..Drawsome!
45 Lori Beth May 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm: You’ll see me at one or both of the MD dates since that may be the closest you get to DC.
It’s gonna be a PARTY!
46 Therese May 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm: Denver, please? We have a lovely place called the Tattered Cover Bookstore!
47 Julie May 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm: AND….you know what’s RIGHT next to Chicago?? IOWA! (I bet you were going to say “Lake Michigan,” and while that would have technically been correct, it was not as relevant.) Come visit the children of the corn…you know you want to.

Hope you feel better soon! I’ve found that bloody mary’s (maries? what’s that in plural?) and fresh ginger do wonders for sinus garbage.
48 Diana Lark May 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm: BOSTON!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even tell you how excited this makes me!!!!!!
Diana Lark recently posted..Reason #11 Why I Should Live With My Boyfriend
49 Christineq May 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I can’t believe it! You are coming to a place near me on May 19 and I can’t go! I have planned a homeschool conference for that day, so I can’t skip, though I am quite tempted! UGH!!! Please know that as many people show up, there will be another one very sad she missed you. So glad your tour is expanding though. Very happy for you!! Rock on Jenny!!
50 Pish Posh May 10, 2012 at 1:00 pm: Congratulations! Come to the Midwest and I will rally the troops!!
Pish Posh recently posted..The Interviews
51 Julia Grace May 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm: PHILADELPHIA!!!!!!!!!! Pretty please????
Julia Grace recently posted..Diving into Competition
52 Courtney May 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm: Please come to the Philadelphia region. We have several zoos and science museum’s.
53 Mike Wakely May 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm: “I have tonsillitis, sinusitis, bronchitis and Ancient-King-Midas.” ~ You realize this means that all of your phlegm and snot will turn to gold. Cha-Ching! Seriously, get well soon.
54 Becki May 10, 2012 at 1:02 pm: Please come to Denver with the snowfall…We’ll move up into the mountains so far that we can’t be found…And throw “I love you” echoes down the canyon…And then lie awake at night till they come back around…Please come to Denver. Pretty please with Ron Weasel-y on top?
55 NewMommyConfessions (@NewMommyConfess) May 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm: Get well soon! And also, go to PA!
NewMommyConfessions (@NewMommyConfess) recently posted..Themed Care Package Fun – A Night At The Movies
56 Massielita May 10, 2012 at 1:05 pm: Oh, sweet Jenny, get well soon!
Also, today is Mother’s Day in Mexico, and since you are in Texas (like me), you get to celebrate too! Happy mother’s Day!!!!
I will have a wine slushee in your honor and to your health.
57 Prop Widow May 10, 2012 at 1:06 pm: See you in Atlanta!
58 Stacey May 10, 2012 at 1:07 pm: So, buying stock in the manufacturer of Xanax would be a good thing to do right now
59 Steph May 10, 2012 at 1:08 pm: You are so very welcome. Now come to Denver! Pretty please!
60 Adrasteia May 10, 2012 at 1:08 pm: Who do I need to blow in order for you to come to Seattle? There must be SOMEONE.
Adrasteia recently posted..In which I am traumatized by a California roll
61 tamaratattles May 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm: OMG. I have six days to try to get my crazy under control enough to leave the house and get to Barnes and Noble. I will make this happen. I’ll be the redhead shaking like a leaf and probably crying. OMG.
tamaratattles recently posted..Kim Zolciak’s Mama Bear is Out in Full Force!
62 Kara Messenheimer May 10, 2012 at 1:10 pm: AH! You still need to make a POWELL’s bookstore stop here in Portland! I can guarantee crushing amounts of fans. And if all else fails, it will be me and my adoration for you. Which fills a room on it’s own. COME TO PORTLAND!!!!
63 Brandon, The Ho from Idaho May 10, 2012 at 1:13 pm: A big congrats again. I’m sad that the book tour isn’t coming to bumfuck Idaho, but then again I don’t blame you. I don’t want to be here either…
Brandon, The Ho from Idaho recently posted..Oh Internet. Sometimes You’re Just Too Much.
64 Heather Head May 10, 2012 at 1:13 pm: You’re welcome North Carolina. Clearly, I have found favor with the universe and my wishes have been made reality. And you’re welcome, for I have brought Jenny Lawson to our fine (though sadly very, very backward) state. I will be there on the 17th, with as many friends as I can round up, and possibly a dead chihuahua in a kilt.
Heather Head recently posted..Everything They Ever Need to Know They’ll Learn
65 Robin ~ PENSIEVE May 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm: I think this makes your friends and fans happier than you.

SO thrilled for you…still .

xo
Robin ~ PENSIEVE recently posted..On our first visit to Salzburg: how I almost wet my pants
66 sara May 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm: what about loiusville kentucky?
67 Kimberly May 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm: HELL YES. I live 20 minutes away from Annapolis. I WILL BE THERE!!
Kimberly recently posted..KimberlyP: @jakeline47 I think that’s what the last panel was–the "oh crap" moment.
68 Nikki Rules May 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm: Ha! Your book is literally standing on two legs!
Nikki Rules recently posted..I Have a Sneaky Suspicion my Happiness is Trying to Sabotage my Success
69 Kendal Cushman May 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm: BOOK A CANADIAN TOUR!!!! WE READ BOOKS TOO!! (eh?)
70 souphead May 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm: it’s taking me forever to read the book because i only have about 10 minutes of reading time in the morning (thanks for the short chapters!), but i’m LOVING it!
so happy to see there will be more NY dates. Maybe I’ll get to come see you after all. YAY!

Feel better!
xo
71 falnfenix May 10, 2012 at 1:19 pm: woo Maryland!
72 Misty May 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm: Gaithersburg or Nap-town. One of them will have you and I in the same place. MWAHAHAHAHA! Um, I mean . . . it will be a distinct pleasure to very un-creepily meet you. Yeah, that’s it.
Misty recently posted..Weekly Whacked: Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes
73 HeatherWhoLovesTheBloggess May 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm: Hello again, worst stalker in the world here begging you to come to Minneapolis. We love you here. All of us. And we want to see you. Love, Minneapolis
HeatherWhoLovesTheBloggess recently posted..In Which We Work
74 Shel May 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm: Boston.
NOT second Sat in June, thats Boston Pride. If it’s that day we make you march with us, by putting you on the back of a Harley with things taxidermied to toss to the crowd.

Otherwise I will free my schedule.

cant WAIT!
thankyouverymuch

p.s. and Im serious about Pride. this is my serious look : I
75 Debra May 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm: Upstate New York is being ignored!!!! Please please please come visit us! Please?
76 karen May 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm: Yay! So glad you’re coming to NC! And Concord Mills is the SHIZNIT! My favorite mall EVAH! Well, it has a Sanrio store, so of course it’s gonna be my fave. I’m off work on Friday, so planning to try to scoot outta work early to beat traffic outta Greensboro and haul ass that hour and a half to see u! Can’t wait!
karen recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
77 Karen May 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm: OMG OMG! *a quick squealing lap around the house* You’re coming to BOSTON!?!!
78 Mayor Gia May 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm: Looking forward to leg 3!
Mayor Gia recently posted..What Did I Draw?
79 Nichole May 10, 2012 at 1:25 pm: I got my book in the mail on Saturday and I am almost done with it! I have sufficiently annoyed my husband by laughing uncontrollably while reading it at home and the majority of co-workers by attempting (and failing) to laugh silently while reading it at lunch. I WILL hook my co-workers on your humor Can you come have a book signing in Spokane? Pretty please?
Nichole recently posted..House Last Weekend
80 Another Carrie May 10, 2012 at 1:25 pm: I was seriously upset when I finished your book. I tried, desperately, to read it slow…but it was hard.
Honestly, what a great read. I can relate so much to your anxiety and your humor is priceless.
My husband is pissed that I read this in bed for a few nights and kept him awake with my laughter and shaking the bed.
81 Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? May 10, 2012 at 1:27 pm: Is it odd that I am so proud of you?

Probably, but I am still.

SUCK ON THAT, ANXIETY!!!

++++++++++
Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted..The Finished Madlib!!
82 Kaitlyn May 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm: Congratulations!
Will there be a UK leg to your book tour?
Kaitlyn recently posted..Projection
83 Lilly May 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm: Congratulations!! If you weren’t sick or famous and busy right now, you’d see someone stalking your blog. Someone in Texas in the Boondocks. That’d be me. But since you’re a little distracted and incapacitated I’m going to continue stalking without feeling paranoid, so thank you. (And…you’ve been an inspiration. More on that later.)
Lilly recently posted..Conversations with The Ex: Fucking Father Time
84 HPom May 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE come to Canada on your tour! We love you here and can appreciate the taxidermy humour. fyi…my in-laws are delivering my husband’s great-grandfather’s deer head to our place in a few days. I’m so stoked! Gonna decorate it with some big fancy sunglasses for the summer-time. He’ll be livin’ it up in style.
85 Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) May 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm: I wish you’d come to Canada. I keep book talking your book to everyone in bookstores here (including the employees). Yes, I read aloud parts. Essentially, I stage book readings of *your* book because it’s so freaking funny. And because I grew up on a farm and attempted to raise baby skunks because my dad had shot their mother.
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..Ask the DH: An Opportunity to Embarrass Ironic Mom
86 Steve D May 10, 2012 at 1:35 pm: Oh, why not. I’m taking Thursday afternoon off and driving down to Concord. Probably be my only chance to say hi in person.

Also, I’m pretty sure some of the Death By Puppets folks will be at the Atlanta event. Possibly with puppets.
Steve D recently posted..#372 Closing Comments
87 Heather May 10, 2012 at 1:35 pm: Please come to Tennessee!!!!!
88 Carolyn May 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm: Bought you’re book a few days ago and read it in under 2 days. HILARIOUS. Please come to Canada so I can gush to you in person! WE LOVE YOU UP HERE TOO
89 Valorie May 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm: HOLY GOD YES! You’re coming to the DC-area-ish! I will SO see you in Gaithersburg.
Valorie recently posted..I work for free, shouldn’t I drink for free?
90 Joe Little May 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm: Congrats!

Though I must admit I am disappointed I still see no New Orleans
Joe Little recently posted..The King’s New Clothes
91 Melissa May 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm: I was so excited to see Annapolis added to your list! I’ll see you on the 20th!
Melissa recently posted..Tuesday Top 5
92 Luly May 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm: Omigosh, there is a mechanical swan lake diorama with taxidermied meese! Metal Couture.
http://www.metalcouture.com/list/?c=objet-d-art
sorry victor.
93 Aby May 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm: Alright you are coming to MD, NY and NJ. What do you have against Pennsylvania? Please come so I can visit and be embarrassingly fangirlish about having you sign my book.
94 Carey May 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm: Nap Town. Nice!
95 Katharine Evaul May 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm: SOOOO thrilled you are coming to NC!
96 Jane May 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm: I see only two words: JUNE CHICAGO JUNE CHICAGO JUNE CHICAGO!!!! I am going out of my mind with excitement!!!!
97 D May 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm: OMG! Im with jane! CHICAGO IS HAPPENING!! Its all my dreams come true!! I cant believe it!!
98 Melanie May 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm: I blog a lot about relationships. Mine, to be specific. My often-disfunctional ones, to be more specific. Sort of like a Carrie Bradshaw, but in the wilderness, not the city.

I LOVE your writing. I read your blog religiously and am halfway through your memoir. I am inspired by your not-always-tidy life, and your humorous style of writing about all of it.

I want to know more about your and Victor! I wonder what he thinks about your fame, your writing, and your endless mentions of him. Does he worry that any of your conversations might end up on this blog? Does he get excited about it? Has he ever thought of writing a blog of his own?
Melanie recently posted..Independent vs. co-dependent. Um, another option, please?
99 Vivian May 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm: I hope one day you will take a world tour. If you do please, please put South Africa on your list.
Vivian recently posted..Junkie Parents
100 Janet Wyatt May 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm: Please add Denver to your tours….. I finished the book and laughed on almost every page!!
101 Stacia McGourty May 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm: Reasons to come to South Dakota:
1. Mount Rushmore
2. Crazy Horse
2. Wall Drug
3. Corn Palace
4. Black Hills
5. DeSmet, SD AKA the Little Town on the Prairie

All that PLUS…South Dakotan readers love your book! Seriously if you get within 300 miles of Pierre, the State Library staff will be road tripping.
102 Bob Merrick May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm: I can’t believe you will be in the same state as me and yet still so far away! Bring your book tour to Wilmington
103 Sam Rose May 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm: I absolutely and completely second Denver! We’re so cool we don’t realize we’re cool (and that’s cool here).
104 Allyn May 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm: I still need to get it! So excited for you.
Oh, and this made me think of you: http://lollingabout.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/its-almost-friday/
Allyn recently posted..Working It Out:The Opposite Of Lolling
105 Jane May 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm: DENVER DENVER DENVER DENVER
Jane recently posted..Cleaning Mom’s House
106 Amy May 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm: ahhhhhhh yay you’re coming to NJ!!!! Thank you, thank you. Can’t wait!!
107 Rachelle Nesta May 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm: Loved your book! Please come to the west coast! Seattle to be exact!
108 Kat May 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm: You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing your stories with us!
Kat recently posted..Suddenly I’m Dr. Seuss
109 Jaime May 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm: That’s so great! Good for you!
Jaime recently posted..And on a related subject, what am I supposed to do with him all summer?
110 Expat-Mom (Sarah) May 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm: Get well soon and enjoy the big tour!
Expat-Mom (Sarah) recently posted..Deutsch Dienstags
111 Jen D. May 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm: You are welcome! Sorry some of us over-shared our germs, though.
112 Alexandra May 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm: Boston in June?! Yes!
113 Susan Davis May 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm: I can’t believe I’m going to miss you in Atlanta – I’ll be in Canada of all places. Boo
114 Anne May 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm: Yay for more legs!

Soon you’ll be an octopus!

But you need to come to Seattle!
115 Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom May 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm: Very cool! Congratulations!! Nice to see such a wonderful success story happen to a really genuine, talented and appreciative person. May you have many more legs – a veritable centipede of the book tour!
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom: The Play Date: When Two Households Collide
116 Bri May 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm: If you come to Chicago, please, please, please swing through Des Moines or Omaha…
117 Nadine May 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm: Mmm.. Chicago is the closest to Canada I think you are going to get…. may have to make a trip down…
118 Trish May 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm: Here’s a bribe for you: I recently acquired a died-from-natural-causes mouse who I am pretty sure is one Hogwarts robe away from being Draco Mousefoy. Okay, “acquired” is a strong term and “natural causes” is a bit of a stretch. My a/c man pulled him off the motor. Yanno what, never mind. I don’t have taxidermy for you. But come to St Louis anyway please! It’s not that far from Chicago. Or I guess I could just road trip up there… let’s pretend this comment never happened.
119 Jayme May 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm: i will come see you in chicago….just need to know when! and also, feel better soooooon! cause i don’t want to catch all that stuff when i meet you in chi-town.
120 ChaniLM May 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm: I finally ordered my copy, I wish you would come to the UK for part of your many legged book tour!
121 Beth May 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm: I’m grieving having finished the book today. No more funnies. Also wondering what it will take to get you to England. Not the weather, that’s for sure. and all that talk of green open space? Bullshit. But we do have the NHS, which means free pills!
Beth recently posted..Friday, other people’s problems, walking and baking, recipe, visiting, new teeth, Fill In The Blank Friday
122 Ericka May 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm: YAY chicago!!!! i’m going to bet anderson’s bookstore, probably in naperville. downers grove would be even better ’cause then i could walk there. but there’s WAY more room in the naperville store.

i hope you’re feeling better! see you soon!!!!!! yay!
Ericka recently posted..Happy Star Wars Day!
123 Corrie May 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm: Hooray! So happy for you, and can’t wait for the third leg.
Corrie recently posted..Patriot’s Day in Lexington: “Stand Your Ground”
124 Kara Juhlin May 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm: Unfortunately, I cannot make it across the country… Starving college student and all. If you wanted to come to Seattle, however….
125 Danya in Vancouver May 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm: Please come to Vancouver!!! Its beautiful and we love you here!!
126 LauraC May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm: Woo Hoo you are coming to Chicago!! I may have to take the day off work. I’ll be at your signing in Chicago. BTW, this will be the first I’ve ever went and stood in line for an author’s signature…..
127 Boobsie May 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm: Stop touching strangers! And don’t lick them, either…
128 tophoo May 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm: PORTLAND!!
129 Sarah May 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm: Dangit! How come you’re in NC when I’m gone? I want to get my book signed.

Now we’re in a fight.
Sarah recently posted..Lazy Days
130 Jenn May 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm: Congratulations on all the well deserved success! I will add to the chorus of voices saying Toronto would love to see you. I know your book is being promoted here, I have seen it face out in the “new and notable” section of two separate book stores!
131 Jen K May 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm: Any chance for a leg four that could include Portland, OR? We love you out here!!! I’m so happy your book is doing so well.
132 Beth May 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm: Hi! Congratz!!!!!!!!

And… YEAH LADY. Who do we need to blow to get you here to Seattle? I mean, I thought Seattle would be an obvious stop for a book tour. And plus I need it. I’m 27 and currently living with my Mormon parents for ..a while…(god knows how long). And I need a break. I need bloody, squirrel-corpse-puppet stories to sooth my pain of living an overly pure life. I don’t want to be pure. I want to walk around naked in my own house and say fuck this and fuck that. But I can’t. Oh. And to top it off. My boyfriend lives with us as well. Oh! Aaaaaaaaaaand my un-medicated 4’11, 39 year old schizo-effective sister is coming to live with us in a month! I’m so excited. -.-
Damnit. This turned into one of those millions of sob comments that I’m sure you get all the time.

…. But its all true so I win. (If it was a contest) <–I know, that's fucked up.

……*-*

I know. I l know. There are children starving in Africa…

Have a good day Come to Seattle?
-Beth
133 Rhiannon May 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm: How about Minneapolis? I promise all of the snow is gone!
134 Sandra May 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm: I’m reading your book and loving it. Read the laxative chapter last night and nearly stopped breathing from laughter. My husband actually came in the bedroom too comfort me. He thought I was sobbing.
I’m so proud of you, so excited for you, and so happy for your success!

Please come to Salt Lake City, UT!

P.S. If I die from laughter related causes, you may have a lawsuit on your hands.
Sandra recently posted..My six-year-old is alienating friends
135 The Defiant Marshmallow May 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm: Ooooh! Maryland. That’s close to the Defiant Marshmallow! Maybe, just maybe he can show up. But he is fickle, so don’t get too worked up about it.
The Defiant Marshmallow recently posted..I Know It’s All Part of Life, But…
136 Swarley May 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm: that last thing problemly isn’t a word
137 Coal Miner's Granddaughter May 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm: Bitch, please. OF COURSE I’LL BE AT YOUR ATLANTA SIGNING! I will be there even if the zombie apocalypse happens. While the mindless zombies try to get into said Atlanta B&N, I will be in line, awaiting my turn to have my copy of your amazing book signed. And, once that happens, you and I will feast on the brains of those left in line behind me.

Awesome, n’est-ce pas?
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter recently posted..Rest Well, Dear Ainsley
138 Maggie May 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm: YES Boston! Psych! Love your book!
139 Suniverse May 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm: You’re welcome.

PS I just finished listening to your audiobook and you sound EXACTLY like Patricia Arquette in True Romance, so I kept expecting you to talk about that time in Detroit when you were a call girl and then married Christian Slater.
Suniverse recently posted..I keep asking, so you have to answer.
140 carey May 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm: 4th leg to Raleigh NC please. I dont go to Charlotte area.
besides, everyone knows Raleigh > Charlotte.
141 j. May 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm: Are you coming to Seattle?!
142 Laura May 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm: You should add a stop in Salt Lake City!
Laura recently posted..Musical Frustrations….
143 Sharon May 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm: I don’t see Brisbane, Australia on that list…
144 Gemma May 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm: You should come to WI or IL. It would be awesome!
145 Korinthia Klein May 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm: Still hoping for that Milwaukee stop on your tour…..
Korinthia Klein recently posted..Creativity in a Commercial World
146 Sue May 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm: We’ve never met, but I’m as proud of your success as if we’d grown up together. You inspire, amaze, and amuse me.

Congratulations!
Sue recently posted..Busy as a bee – I mean, ant
147 MoldaviteSofa May 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm: My Worlds have collided / The Squee heard ‘Round The Firm:

I just opened my Amazon package containing the audio can and THERE IS A BLURB FROM NEIL GAIMAN.

I am going to have a hard time restraining myself from listening to this until I drive to MA for my Grandmother’s 100th Birthday party in June.
148 Brandi May 10, 2012 at 3:29 pm: I’m still looking for Oklahoma City to be on this list…
Brandi recently posted..Gluteus Medius, I hate you.
149 Brittney May 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm: GAH! New Jersey! Hopefully somewhere in Central/South jersey cause I would love it!!
150 Jacque May 10, 2012 at 3:31 pm: Leg Four: Milwaukee, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. Please? Come to Milwaukee!
151 Lacey May 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm: Still hoping for Toronto… Feel better soon and so happy for your success =)
Lacey recently posted..Sausage Condoms. What?!
152 Sarah May 10, 2012 at 3:41 pm: My (UK) copy arrived on Tues and I finished it today. Love, love, love, love! Thank YOU! <3
Sarah recently posted..‘Sarah, don’t touch the drugs’
153 Lazy Susie May 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm: Today my copy of your book went to a friend to cheer her up from the unique hell of dealing with lice for the third time this spring. It makes a great pity gift for the less fortunate.
154 Julie May 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm: Jenny – Minneapolis is just 1 short flight from Chicago … please consider adding us as a stop I your June tour! Love the book!
155 meg May 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm: Denver, CO, please? Pretty please with a taxidermied animal on top.
meg recently posted..By Whose Standards?
156 Lesley May 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY dance. I will SO be there when you’re in Gaithersburg. I feel like I need to wear a costume. OMG! I’m going to wear a red dress. HEY! All of you going to see her in Gaithersburg we should all wear red dresses/skirts/outfits!!! It would be awesome! And we should all bring twine. I know I am! I cannot WAIT!
Lesley recently posted..I Always Thought I Was An Alien…
157 TPRJones May 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm: Jenny, I’ve been trying since your book came out to find somewhere to buy it in a DEM-free electronic format. My ereader doesn’t play nice with books that are all locked up in kindle or other proprietary formats. But it’s my ereader and I love it anyway and I would never cheat on it.

Anyway, I can’t seem to find it anywhere for sale in DRM-free pdf or epub format, or at least not anywhere that spells it out clearly enough for me to trust them that it is so. Before I gave up entirely and just resigned myself to not buying it, I figured I’d try asking you. Is there somewhere I can buy it like that?
158 Jo at Bum-Bum Germs May 10, 2012 at 4:04 pm: Who did your outstanding art? (The drawing of you holding a hair dryer, or, this one of you holding a spatula?)

I want one of my very own! But, er, of me, not of you. Right.
Jo at Bum-Bum Germs recently posted..In Which I Hyperventilate.
159 cass May 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm: I’ve shoved my kindle in so many people’s faces and demanded that they read your book – and now they all want their own copy. Put me and my slightly confused friends down for another vote in the “Come to the UK” bracket.
160 Danielle Daws May 10, 2012 at 4:08 pm: Thank YOU! I just finished your book and it was AWESOME! LOVED it!
Danielle Daws recently posted..Blog Hop with Ribbon Carousel & There She Goes!
161 Misty Massey May 10, 2012 at 4:09 pm: Will we come? Are you kidding? I’m already trying to decide what to wear! *grin*
162 Beth Jeffrey May 10, 2012 at 4:17 pm: Your book arrived with me today in sunny Scotland via the Royal Mail!

i have gotten nothing done today. You’re a terrible person for writing this book and getting it published.

*does British ‘tsk tsk’ librarian face.

If you can get a UK tour out of it you should definitely come to Glasgow. Spare bed here if ye fancy!
163 Jillian May 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm: Having Ancient-King-Midus at the same time as tonsillitus, bronchitus, and sinusitus is a blessing in disguise, really. That way you won’t be accidentally hugging your loved ones and turning them into gold. Plus you can turn all your used tissues into gold! Then you’ll be rich AND you won’t have to worry about dragging your sick self out of bed to go to the trash can. It’s kind of gross, but I mean … it’s gold now, right? No one’ll know. It’ll be like Fried Green Tomatoes, and how everyone thought the burgers tasted great even though they were made out of a dude named Frank. Except, you know, with less cannibalism.
Jillian recently posted..The Jolt
164 Matt May 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm: The nice thing about Seattle is that it’s between Portland and Vancouver, so you’d get folks from there as well. It’s really the perfect stop.
165 Elektra May 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm: since you arent coming to Canada, I went to the Comicon in Calgary and got Will Wheaton to sign my book instead
166 Jaime May 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm: Please come to Philadelphia! We have cheese steaks and Tastycakes and cream cheese and soft pretzels! (Can you tell I like to eat?) But if you don’t come here then I will be traveling to Jersey! Must get my book signed!
167 Walter May 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm: Boston! Bistonbostonbidton!!! Wtf? So I’m writing this on my little frickin iPhone in the las Vegas airport. I’m semi fucking hammered from drinking a maragarita, a carona and a shot of patron in like 30 minutes whe I wait for my flight back to new Hampshire. I say Boston cause no one knows where the fuck new Hampshire is. does all this booze mux well with my depression meds? What an I taking? Not Zoloft, not the one stat starts with a c. Ummmmmm lotramin? No that’s not it. Um, it’s a good one anyway, I have awesome insurance. Who cares. Anyway, you have to come to Boston. Boston is awesome and you will totally have fun and not be freaked out at all. And I will totally come and buy another book for you to sign. I bought your book already but I have it to a friend of mine got Christmas, even tho it came out in April so it was 4 months late but that’s ok cause she is super cool. She bought me a video game that doesn’t come out for a year, so u guess my present was better cause it’s less late??? U don’t know but anyway you should none to Boston.
168 Chris Dean May 10, 2012 at 4:47 pm: Hope the mucus dries up soon! (And I STILL say you need to make a stop in Indianapolis!) (Hear that Mr. or Ms. PR Person? Indianapolis…it’s better than Chicago because it’s closer!)
169 Tami May 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm: DENVER. DENVER. DENVER. The Mile-High City awaits your presence.
(And gawd knows there are some real nut-jobs here — plenty of fodder for your sequel.)
Hugs.
170 CJ May 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm: See you in Boston!!! Yay!
171 Kat May 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm: Please come to Seattle and get drunk with my best friend Viv and I. I’m positive we’d have an awesome time telling wild, nonsensical stories and shocking Viv’s hubby and my boyfriend. It would be amazing.
172 Lindsay May 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm: Chicago! Yes! Count me in.
Lindsay recently posted..Saturday, Sunday, Snapshots
173 Ash Lee May 10, 2012 at 5:09 pm: I discovered your website two months ago, fell in love with it, and read the whole thing while at work(shhhhh). I thought it was wonderful timing that you were coming out with a book, and promptly ordered one. I’m almost halfway thru, and love it just as much as this site. Thank you for.. I’m not even sure. Making me feel ok about my depression and weirdness? Making me laugh? Definitely all of the above and more.
174 Ang May 10, 2012 at 5:10 pm: Congratulations! I TOLD my husband this would happen, and now I get to rub it in his face, even though he didn’t really argue with me. How exciting, both your success and the face-rubbing! Woot!
Ang recently posted..The Moon, That Certain Book about Grey, and New Performance Art
175 Gigi May 10, 2012 at 5:17 pm: ACK! Here I’ve been hoping you’d come to NC and you are! The ACK part? Next Thursday?! There is a HUGE meeting that I can miss or heads will roll…..mine. So on the agenda for the next few days? Figure out a way around it. Because, dammit, I HAVE to get to Concord.
Gigi recently posted..Apparently, I’m easily amused.
176 Amanda May 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm: Congratulations on the third week!! I loved your book!
Amanda recently posted..Ranger Games and Family Meetings
177 Zultrgator May 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm: Hell to the yeah !! I am trying to get a group to come see ya in Hot’ lanta !!!!!!!!!! I think I just wet myself with excitement ~~Oh wait nope just spilled my tea
178 Pat May 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm: I’m nearly finished reading your book. Do I like it? Just let me say that it’s the first time I’ve ever laughed out loud on a plane trip, which probably made my fellow passengers a little nervous. I also had to shield a few of the chapter titles from them (it’s an e-book and I need LARGE print). But. it. was. worth. it. Totally.
179 Erika May 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm: I was reading the chapter about HR late at night and was hyperventilating/laughing so hard my mom barged in because she thought I was having phone sex. Thank you for being the one to give me that experience.
180 Holly from 300 Pounds May 10, 2012 at 5:34 pm: How wonderfully excitiing!!!! I feel proud of you for some reason. Must be the mama in me!
Holly from 300 Pounds recently posted..Tears in a Bottle
181 Dominique Mobs May 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm: Jenny, LOVED the book! Read it for book club! Would you consider coming to Philadelphia??? Pretty PLEASE!
182 Mander May 10, 2012 at 5:51 pm: So not sure if you get to reply to your comments… i noticed the Gaithersburg is listed as – 4:40pm. does that mean you’re hiding until then, or will you be hanging out at the bookfair for some time before hand? Just trying to figure out how to arrange the work schedule for myslef and some kidnapped co-workers.
183 Melinda M May 10, 2012 at 5:51 pm: As I am also sick your humor translated just fine. Now get your butt to Denver, we need you here. Seriously, we do.
184 Kat Rowley May 10, 2012 at 5:51 pm: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! CHICAGO!! *fans self* Alright, I will see you there!
Kat Rowley recently posted..Mister Sandman, Bring Me A Dream
185 Jean May 10, 2012 at 5:51 pm: Three weeks on the NYT list!!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Way to go Jenny!!!
186 Sam May 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm: NO. NO. COME TO MISSISSIPPI.

Anyway. So, like, I asked for your book for my sixteenth birthday and my dad gave me like thirty dollars so I got that and something about gangsters in mid-19th century New York. Somehow, they’re related.

But really, congratulations. It’s a huge thing to get it published and this tour and gosh. I hope you’re having a good time, at least, and see how much people really do support you.
187 Emily May 10, 2012 at 6:00 pm: Boston?!? I’m there! Wait, when and where in Boston? Never mind, I’m pretty sure my fiance and I would do pretty much anything to get there!
188 Karen Sanders May 10, 2012 at 6:02 pm: My blog is coming true! Charlaine Harris this week, YOU next week. I may have just shat myself.
Karen Sanders recently posted..Sookie Stackhouse and The Bloggess
189 altalinda May 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm: I’ve seen many votes for Philadelphia already and let me add my voice to that chorus. Yoo-hoo, Jenny’s publisher — PHILADELPHIA!
In other news, I’ve been very grateful to recall several times this week the mantra, Depression is a lying bastard.
190 alaina May 10, 2012 at 6:18 pm: I seriously need to readjust my schedule so I can come to the Concord signing. Yay for legs.
alaina recently posted..Graduation Pants.
191 Anna May 10, 2012 at 6:37 pm: Yay Chicago! Yay Chicago! Yay Chicago! Can’t wait!
192 Vanessa May 10, 2012 at 6:46 pm: I’m pretty sure they make a cream for that Midas business. I think it’s made by Gold Bond.
Vanessa recently posted..You’re the best, because it could be worse!
193 Chelsea May 10, 2012 at 6:50 pm: I don’t know where to begin, except to thank you for your book. I came home yesterday to find it waiting on my doorstep and I about squealed with delight. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has a strict “only 3 cackles per day” rule (apparently he enjoys hearing me laugh but not *that* much), so I could only read part of the book last night. Also unfortunately, but at the same time fortunately, I was rather sick and stayed home from work today and in the peace and quiet of my house I was able to finish the book and cackle all I wanted. It was good therapy, except for that my throat hurts and laughing doesn’t actually help that. At all. But it was totally worth it. Loved every minute of it, from heartbreak to hilarity, can’t wait to read it again!
194 Erica B May 10, 2012 at 6:52 pm: I need to know the date for the Boston day so I can make a point to take the day off of work and drive out!!

and just so you know This week is antique week out in Brimfield Ma, and I am telling you this, because one of the places has a rusted big metal Chicken.. Beyonce needs her Jay-Z!! Next time I drive by it I will take a picture for you so you can show it to Beyonce.

Get well soon!
Erica B recently posted..unintentional
195 Corey Feldman May 10, 2012 at 7:01 pm: I am really so thrilled for your success. I can’t the the Gaithersburg but if I can work out the Annapolis signing I will!
Corey Feldman recently posted..Do I need a niche
196 Devon May 10, 2012 at 7:02 pm: OMGOMGOMG!!!! You’re coming back to NY!!!!! This excites me muchly and I will do my absolute BEST to get there to see you! In the mean time, I hope you feel better… Ancient-King-Midas is nasty stuff!
Devon recently posted..Fire In Ice by Devon Stewart
197 Kathleen May 10, 2012 at 7:29 pm: Sorry you are not feeling well. Air travel does that. They made a movie: Snots on the Plane.
Kathleen recently posted..Hopelessly Blue
198 ML May 10, 2012 at 7:41 pm: I think it’s feed a cold, starve King Midas.
ML recently posted..We Got Your Danger, Stranger
199 kmkat May 10, 2012 at 7:42 pm: I had to tell you about this: http://tmblr.co/ZvoEtwLFtpLw

Neil Gaiman is selling an original doodle, about which he says, “The other doodle. It is also on eBay but will probably be a sad also-ran, because THERE ARE FEWER PEOPLE WHO LOVE IGUANAWEASELS than there are people who love Morpheus, Daleks or a small sleeping rat.”

As soon as I read that I knew who loved iguanaweasels… you!
kmkat recently posted..Driving in Boston = hell.
200 Katmoz May 10, 2012 at 7:44 pm: Today was a red letter day, I mean a 2 package day at the post office. One was your UK edition AWESOME cover!!!
Second, your audio book, a gift for my friend who told me about your book to begin with! Since she has to spend 10 hours on the road this weekend, I figured it was a great time to introduce her hubby to your book as he drove and she laughed!!! Should I warn 911 to stand by just in case???
We will see you in Annapolis at the Harbor Mall, which is MILES away from ANY harbor, and it is not really an enclosed mall, just s fancy strip mall. And it is miles away from downtown Annapolis. But it IS only 30 minutes from “here”, so we will be there to see you “there” and get a bunch of stuff signed.
I saw an electrocuted squirrel up on some power lines, and I though of you..I will have to go back and get photos. He was in a “Hail Mary” pose. Hope it was quick. (Oh, no need to autograph the squirrel, just the photo, if you please.
See you next Sunday!!!
201 Krissy May 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm: Ahh!! You’re coming to New York in June!! You’re coming to New York in June!!
202 Nicole May 10, 2012 at 7:52 pm: Just ordered yesterday, as a Mother’s day gift for my Sister….we are BEYOND EXCITED! Congrats and many blessings to you and yours:)
203 BeingMama May 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm: If you don’t feel up to speaking at the next book tour stop, you can always do pantomime or charades. Your audience will understand (love the book, btw). Feel better soon!
BeingMama recently posted..Mothering and Motherlessness
204 Sj May 10, 2012 at 7:55 pm: hey! I don’t see Minnesota on that list! when are you coming to the tundra?
Sj recently posted..Speak Up Loud and Speak Up Often!
205 Tara May 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm: I have some astoundingly bad news: I just googled herpes butt images, and your face appeared. I knew you were the face of depression and rheumatoid arthritis, but I have to tell you, your face was not what I expected a herpetic ass to look like!
206 Serena May 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm: LOVE YOU! I am so happy about all of this, that everyone knows how awesome you are!

Please come to Kentucky! I bet you’ll find plenty of road kill and taxidermy animals! Remember Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett??

Have a great time on your tour
207 Lady K May 10, 2012 at 8:05 pm: Why do you hate Canada? We keep letting you on our tv!!
208 Mel Patrick May 10, 2012 at 8:13 pm: I am swooning that you are going to be close enough, in Chicago, that I can see you in person. Road trip!
209 Lori May 10, 2012 at 8:13 pm: Come to Seattle!!!! Please, pretty, please with sugar on top!
210 Suzka May 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm: I glanced at the locations and saw Concord NH, just for one tiny, tiny, hope-filled instant.

Think: New Hampshire.
211 radiosteve May 10, 2012 at 8:32 pm: Thank you for the book! I can’t think of any of the funny things I was gonna write…so I’ll just go to bed with you and then try again tomorrow maybe.

Umm..that didn’t come out right…go to bed with the book. Anything else and I think my wife would have something to say…
radiosteve recently posted..1986-The Year Of Angry Noise Part 2
212 Lauren@FilingJointly May 10, 2012 at 8:34 pm: Ok so I totally flew to Dallas to see you there and it was amazing. And now you are coming to Chicago!! So I’ll see you here soon! And this time I won’t be all shrilly….maybe.

I changed my mind. I’m going to be SO shrilly.
Lauren@FilingJointly recently posted..We Don’t Even Have A Chimney RYAN.
213 kent duffey May 10, 2012 at 8:39 pm: Please come to Richmond, VA! We want you here!!!
214 Jennybenni May 10, 2012 at 8:43 pm: Your sick humor might not translate well, at least not the way you meant it, but it was great for me because it was like you read my mind *in advance* when you were writing this. As soon as I read “I’m coming to you,” I immediately thought of the part of the movie (/play) “Bells Are Ringing” where the dentist is making up a song about a steamboat, and he ends the song with, “I’m coming home to yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu.” And in that same movie, there’s a play called “The Midas Touch,” and also the dentist rights a song called “The Midas Touch” (but not for the play) (I mean, not the play-within-the-play).

Anyway. Right there in your post, bam, two references to “Bells Are Ringing.” Made my day.
215 Jenn May 10, 2012 at 8:48 pm: Where’s Seattle??? Congratulations!!!
216 Karen Riddle May 10, 2012 at 8:49 pm: You KILL me !!!!!!!!! I find your book one of my all time favorites. Your way of looking at the world is delightful. Will see you in a week at Concord, NC…..
217 caroline May 10, 2012 at 8:56 pm: so excited for the third leg definitely coming to see you in chicago!!
218 Bodaciousboomer May 10, 2012 at 8:57 pm: Safe travels on the next leg of your tour kiddo. In addition to getting even more famous by now you must’ve conquered your anxieties about traveling. Knock em dead.
Bodaciousboomer recently posted..Tell Mom thanks for finishing your diorama of the Alamo
219 Cat Gardiene May 10, 2012 at 9:00 pm: …keep coming… I-95 North… you can make it to South Jersey/Philly, I know you can! Just so we’re clear, though, you want the sun setting on your left and the nation’s capitol behind you. I’ll keep hoping…

You’ll know you’re here when they start charging you a ridiculous amount of money to ride on crappy, overcrowded roads. Don’t mind the folks waving their middle fingers at you. It’s the local custom for “hi, damn glad to meet you!” Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
220 Allison Cooper May 10, 2012 at 9:01 pm: CANADA!! CANADA!! Come to Canada! I’m halfway through the book, SO fantastic. I often read your posts to the hubby and “OH MY GOD! HEY GIRL!” is now the regular greeting around here. Thanks Juanita. But seriously, thank YOU for giving such a loud voice to all of us fighting depression/anxiety. YOU, madam, are our mascot
221 Mary May 10, 2012 at 9:02 pm: YOU’RE FINALLY COMING TO BOSTON! HELLS YEAH!
I told my husband and he said it was a good thing he was given a crossbow this week, as he totally has time to kill and stuff something for you before you arrive.
I married a good man.
222 Erin May 10, 2012 at 9:02 pm: Whatcha doing the weekend of May 19th/20th in between the shows? I live in the area and am planning on attending one of them. Would be happy to be your local tour guide. Want to see puffins have sex? National Aquarium in Baltimore. See a vehicle that has logged over 148 million miles? Space Shuttle Discovery at the Smithsonian-Dulles. Get tipsy on George Washington’s whiskey? His distillery is now open at Mount Vernon. Visit Nora Roberts bookstore? It’s a beautiful drive to Boonsboro, and there are a lot of wineries in the area. How about a visit to the third smallest national cemetery in the United States? The Civil War Battle of Balls Bluff in Leesburg, Va.
I have the weekend off, including Friday.
223 dumb {squared} May 10, 2012 at 9:03 pm: Congrats, young lady!

Did a Rottweiler lick you on the mouth? Because I’m pretty sure THAT’S how I got bronchitis.
dumb {squared} recently posted..I’ve got this feeling that I’m failing somehow AND my family MAY leave me
224 Richard May 10, 2012 at 9:03 pm: Safe travels!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come to Seattle, washington!!!!!I am one of your gays and It would rock my world to meet you!
225 Valerie May 10, 2012 at 9:03 pm: YOU ARE COMING TO NJ!!!!!

I just told my husband that I wanted you to sign my boob. But then I was all “she’s probably been asked to sign that already.” Then I went in to deep mumbly think mode….

Then.. I might have fallen a sleep. But just for a minute. I had a great dream, but I don’t think I’ll be able to build a gianormous platypus out of rudimentary objects in time….

Looking forward to stalking you (in a total NON THREATENING way. Maybe.),

Valerie )
Valerie recently posted..I plan road trips like I’m hunting a serial killer
226 Snarkier Than You May 10, 2012 at 9:07 pm: Joisey! YES! I know this book tour must be insane for you, but you are AMAZING and I will definitely be there. I wonder if they still make those Bloggess-inspired NJ lottery scratch-offs??? Hmmm…
Snarkier Than You recently posted..Obsessive Book-Reading
227 Jaime May 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm: you really need to come to Canada… we have our own Real Housewives show now.. that makes us a real city, right?
Jaime recently posted..Conversations with my Vagina ..Part Two!
228 Cassy May 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm: I’m so excited that you’re coming to Gaithersburg! Just ordered my book today Now to decide what I want you to sign…
Cassy recently posted..Less of a book sale and more of an empty parking lot
229 liz May 10, 2012 at 9:13 pm: TWO in Maryland but NOT ONE in Virginia?! Or even DC (which is between MD and VA, and considered by some people to be An Important Place).
230 hogsatemysister May 10, 2012 at 9:19 pm: “We are not amused.”

Sorry, the Queen is ALWAYS like that.

Even about your UK book launch.

Blame it on the Corgis.

And her stupid son, the never-to-be King Chuck.
hogsatemysister recently posted..My Big Sisters’ Aqua-Net of Doom
231 Jennifer C.F. May 10, 2012 at 9:21 pm: Last Sunday the husband and I were sitting on the couch together in a very rare moment of relaxation and togetherness. I was reading him the chapter “Jenkins, You Motherfucker” and we were laughing so hard we woke up our 1 year old. It was one of those rare moments between our jobs, chores, and our wonderful, hyper munchkin that we got to sit together and just laugh until we almost peed (or maybe peed just a little).

So thank YOU.
232 Aimee May 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm: Awesome! I wish you were headed out to the west coast again.. I couldn’t make the SF stop and was so bummed… On another happy note I was getting my pedicure today and I flipped open the People magazine and there was a 1/2 or 2/3 sized review of your book! and it was awesome!

Thank you for being you.. You have helped more people than you will ever know!

PS. If you didn’t see that review (which I doubt) and want proof it exsists… i took a pic with my cell phone and am totally down to text/email it to you LOL
233 Teri M. May 10, 2012 at 9:32 pm: I have read your book like 5 times now and am ECSTATIC you will be in Boston!!! Please oh please let it be a Saturday or Sunday!!! I have no vacation time at work and I am DYING to get my book signed!!!!
234 Tara May 10, 2012 at 9:35 pm: I’d like to put my vote in for you to please please please come to Chicago!!! Mid-west! (said in a westside rapper kinda way)
235 Jeanie May 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm: cleaning every day helps your clean home stay that way. Even if you ignore all the other housekeeping rules, make sure you follow this most important clean room guideline.
Jeanie recently posted..Some Tips On Buying Life Insurance
236 Sarah van Loon May 10, 2012 at 9:51 pm: Holy shit!!! Chicago?!! Wicked excited.
Sarah van Loon recently posted..Let’s talk about food, shall we?
237 JCfromNC May 10, 2012 at 9:52 pm: Woot! You’re coming to NC! Nowhere near me, but still, a heck of a lot closer than you were until now. I hope I can manage to get my butt out to Concord to see you so that I can tell you to your face how much I enjoy reading your stuff.
238 Jenn May 10, 2012 at 9:54 pm: …. i have to work on may 16th. i am so crushed i was looking forward to you adding an Atlanta date. i really would have liked to talk with you about handling anxiety issues… my friends and family just don’t get it.
239 Stephanie May 10, 2012 at 9:54 pm: MINNEAPOLIS!!!!!!! Why won’t you come to Minneapolis? It’s like you hate us here.
240 Renee May 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm: I just gave your book to my friend to take on vacation with her because she wasn’t going to be able to buy it before then, but I’ll make her buy it when she gets home.

I don’t like that New York is on the TOP of the leg three list, cause I’ll be there in late June. Excuse me while I pray to your agents that they put it later in the month! Or send you out to the Southwest. You know, either really.

At least you don’t have the plague. Or boils. Pus is so unbecoming
Renee recently posted..So that’s all my bad ass points gone then
241 spazzy mazzy May 10, 2012 at 10:02 pm: Yay for more legs on the tour!!!!!!!!!! Now come to VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
242 Anonymous May 10, 2012 at 10:05 pm: Any chance you’ll be coming to Chicago?
243 cedarflame May 10, 2012 at 10:10 pm: Really still no Seattle? You know how much cache this town carries especially for the strange and quirky? We have a giant troll that lives under a bridge! Trumps metal chicken!
244 Cindy Jackson May 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm: Take care of yourself. <3
245 Rachel Y. May 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm: So sorry you’re sick. Did you know that the mountain air in Denver is said to be a cure for all of those itises. Or maybe that was osis. Tuberculosis. Or cataracts. Or maybe the herp. Anyway, PLEASE!!!! come to Denver! We don’t even care if it’s after your book has fallen off of the charts! We have been there for you for years, before you were a successful author. Please?????? You’re not coming anywhere near us! *whine* Did someone say wine?
246 Kelly at Cibatarian May 10, 2012 at 10:29 pm: Thanks for writing an awesome book that’s well worth the read.

And I’m still amazed at your ability to do this tour. Inspiring!
Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted..Fried Pies
247 Amy Sperry May 10, 2012 at 10:31 pm: Your blog has literally pulled me out of some really heavy anxiety/panic attacks. Feeling crazy is bad enough, but being crazy and thinking you are the only one who is losing their mind totally throws me for a loop. Just knowing that there is someone else out there who is experiencing the same kinds of emotions I am is SO encouraging and such an amazing validation. I am not the only Crazy person who sometimes just can’t face the outside world. Thank you Jenny!!!!
Anywho-Colorado ROCKS and I am SOOO Sad that I don’t see Denver on your itinerary!!!! Please, please tell your publisher peeps that Colorado LOVES the Bloggess and that by allowing you to add Denver to your book tour, you would actually be helping the mental state of AT LEAST a million people here in Denver. Probably 2 million-Maybe even 2.5 million. Plus, our weather kicks ass and Colorado is just an awesome place to be. If you think starting an email campaign would help, I am totally down for that. Just let me know.
AMy
248 Larissa May 10, 2012 at 10:55 pm: Come to Portland (Oregon)! We have the best bookstore ever! It’s a City of Books!!!!

I’m afraid it’s probably too damp for much taximdermy though.
249 Amanda May 10, 2012 at 10:56 pm: Oh, Chicago in June? Couldn’t you just pretty please go the extra little bitty way to Madison to visit us Wisconsin folk up here? The Midwest loves you just as much as the Coasts do!
250 Jessica May 10, 2012 at 10:56 pm: For the love of all that is holy, would you just come to Salt Lake City already?! It really is a delightful city and we really really like you. I’d even settle for Denver, as one of the earlier commenters suggested. It’s an 8 hour drive but would be SO worth it.
251 Vicki May 10, 2012 at 11:08 pm: Sigh, and I see Seattle or Portland still get no love. We will just have to admire you from afar (even though Seattle is one of the highest per capita book purchasing cities in the country….). Ok that little factoid may or may not be true, but we do have a really good reputation as a city of readers who actually buy books.
252 Katy May 10, 2012 at 11:12 pm: One more plea for Denver. Or even Boulder. This town is filled with fabulous and crazy people. You would feel much love here.
253 Carlotta Regina Tristania III May 10, 2012 at 11:16 pm: YOU’RE COMING TO NEW YORK AGAIN!?!?!?!

I am SO frickin excited. Now I can tell you how much I love your book in person, instead of just in my head, where I plan blog comments I never get around to typing.

Sincerely,

The Chick In The Black Dress Who Asked You For Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips in NYC
254 Deb May 10, 2012 at 11:19 pm: YEAH Chicago! Now just need to get a date so I can take off of work. Cannot wait!!!
255 Lorrella May 10, 2012 at 11:23 pm: Just ordered your book today! Can’t wait for it to arrive

And then COME TO AUSTRALIA – please! Well, Melbourne, Victoria to be more precise…..
256 Cathy S May 10, 2012 at 11:34 pm: Okay on Chi-town but if you keep going west on 80 …. and like Davenport or Des Moines or some other Iowa town with S’s you don’t pronounce lands on your schedule, I would be all. up. in. your. itises. with homemade chicken soup.

I know, Iowa, right? Potatoes, right? And cows? But stranger things have happened.

Love and good mojo and spiritual vitamin C.

P.S. It’s corn and pigs, but who’s fact-checking this shit?
257 Melodie May 10, 2012 at 11:38 pm: ARIZONA!!!! PLEASE!!!! Chandler is in the East Valley near Phoenix. Surrounding cities that frequently have authors are Mesa and Tempe….PLEASE!!!
258 Cheryl D. May 10, 2012 at 11:45 pm: Congrats! and feel better!
Cheryl D. recently posted..Yikes or What Happens if Mel Gibson Worked as a Telemarketer
259 Michelle May 10, 2012 at 11:59 pm: I hope you’re feeling better.

I’m giving up my seat at the Phillies/Boston game to head to Annapolis – see you then!
260 Amanda May 11, 2012 at 12:07 am: You should come to Arkansas. Hot Springs, in particular. I think we have a bookstore or two. Actually we have one really awesome one that would be a really sweet place to have a reading of your book except I don’t know how that would go over because a.) it’s a used bookstore b.) the people who own it are super old and (while really sweet) they’re super Jesus people and I don’t know if they’d ‘get’ the amazingness of your book, and, well, c.) there wouldn’t really be room because that place is packed tighter than a hoarder house (no joke) and only skinny people can fit in there (again, 100% true), and if you do manage to squeeze your way in, the books are stacked like 7½ feet high, and it’s terrifying because if one stack comes down they ALL come down and if the thousand pounds of books didn’t kill you inhaling all the 50 year old dust would. And no one would ever find you again. But it’s a great photo-op. And the little old lady hugs everyone who comes in.
Amanda recently posted..Words.
261 Lynn May 11, 2012 at 1:02 am: So, I just got the book today. It’s my mother’s day present, because my husband knows how to keep us both happy. I just got through the introduction, and actually had to stop because I’m so pregnant that laughing hurts….THANK YOU!
262 Roxanne/tinkerbell the bipolar faerie May 11, 2012 at 1:26 am: I went to the bookstore today and saw they had an entire part of a display window devoted to your book. And I thought to myself … “hey, I know who that is ….” How cool is that?

Sorry you were sick. Sending some feel better vibes your way.
Roxanne/tinkerbell the bipolar faerie recently posted..Pause
263 Anonymouse May 11, 2012 at 1:30 am: AmazonUK finally got my cope to me last week, by which point I’d already read it on kindle, so now I just stroke it and sleep with it and lick it, but don’t read it because then I might crack the spine.

Also, UK tour? UK TOUR. Why no UK tour? I would totally come. I would be ALL OVER THAT SHIT like taxidermied animals on a shelf in your office.
Anonymouse recently posted..The Dam
264 bianca peacock May 11, 2012 at 1:41 am: Europe needs you!
please come asap.
thank you.
265 E M Foster May 11, 2012 at 1:55 am: Dealng with sinusitis myself right now. It sucks and I feel your pain. I can’t even imagine all the other things on top of it. Although the King Midas thing might be cool if you don’t want to eat and you want a lot of gold. Feel better soon, Jenny!! You are way too awesome to be down sick with all that!!
266 Jamethiel May 11, 2012 at 2:34 am: Sigh. We in Portlandia sit here, laughing into our coffee/tea/mango juice cups, langishing, all alone and Jenny-less. We are the only city that could properly appreciate you…and here we sit, tears running onto the pages/ipads/smart phones where we read your book. Or maybe that’s just rain….or the skin peeling from our faces from the taste of sun we’ve had this week. Either way, we’re emo over our jenny-less-ness.
Jamethiel recently posted..A journey to find the perfect carrier
267 Megan May 11, 2012 at 2:47 am: I sooo wish you could make it near St. Louis. I would totally come to your signing! Along with a bunch of my friends who’ve been mercilessly prodded into loving your blog. ^_^
268 Raye May 11, 2012 at 2:48 am: You simply must come to Kansas City! Even the song says we have “crazy little women here” – name me one other city with it’s own song which so perfectly encapsulates you! And you can get here anyway you want to . . . you can take a plane or a train or you can even walk (because we really are that close to you!) Please, please, please.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mypHZmXdU3o
269 Vicky May 11, 2012 at 3:26 am: OMGness I totally just bought your book and I am litterally bouncing with excitement! I can’t wait to read it
270 Lady Jennie May 11, 2012 at 3:40 am: Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Jennie recently posted..I Have a Stalker
271 Melanie J Frank May 11, 2012 at 3:48 am: Please make your way to Charleston, SC. It’s pretty, I’m sure we have some stuffed animals somewhere, and I could feed you and get you drunky!
272 Brian Cummings May 11, 2012 at 4:20 am: This comment is for whoevere is booking your tour. Ever hear of the Midwest? You know, there’s a town called Chicago that’s the third most populous in the country, right?
273 Brian Cummings May 11, 2012 at 4:23 am: Oops, didn’t notice the bubble on the side about leg three. Disregard my last comment.
274 Tommy "Robot Omens" Osborne May 11, 2012 at 5:08 am: I noticed you’re skipping right by Detroit, which is understandable, but we’re not all knife-wielding psychopaths. And some of us can actually read, no matter what you hear in the news. Plus, if you lived in Detroit, you’d be begging for some tours to stop by… Wheaton still hasn’t visited. Great book, too, thanks.
- TommyO
p.s. I carry Gerber knives, they sharpen easily after slicing things, people, etc.
275 Ness May 11, 2012 at 5:17 am: My husband bought me your book for my birthday – I took it to work and started reading it at lunchtime and I had to stop reading it because I kept getting looked at when I burst into giggles!
276 B May 11, 2012 at 5:46 am: I just squealed on the train… See you in Boston!!!!!
277 Lesley May 11, 2012 at 5:50 am: You are so welcome, Thank you for making me look like a crazy person laughing hysterically on the plane last week. See you in BOSTON!!!
278 Monica Vereana Williams May 11, 2012 at 6:00 am: Just tell me what I have to do to get Canada (Peterborough, Ontario in particular) on that list! I can and will do pretty much everything. Really.
279 Jennifer May 11, 2012 at 6:06 am: WooHOO on you coming to Boston!! REALLY looking forward to it!!! (unless that puts undue pressure on you, then never mind). Hope your various itises leave you soon!
280 Heather Cover May 11, 2012 at 6:11 am: Sorry you’ve got a bad case of Midas, but beyond excited that you’ll be in ATL next week! I’m takin’off work and driving in from Birmingham to come hear you!!!
Heather Cover recently posted..Chattanooga
281 Tee May 11, 2012 at 6:12 am: Please come to Canada!!!

Toronto, specifically
282 Alexandra Woloszyk May 11, 2012 at 6:32 am: Chicago? OMG, LOL, BBQ! My knitting group has a love affair with you. I can’t wait until you post the date. We often comment on how if you lived in the suburbs of Chicago, and knitted or crocheted, or were bi-stitchual, that you would find our shoppe, and consider us friends. Some struggle openly about depression & mental illness, some learn from others, and everyone loves a well dressed mouse.

Thank you for all you write.
283 Kim D. May 11, 2012 at 6:34 am: Ooof, feel better!! And thank YOU for being so flippin’ awesome
284 Shelly Quade May 11, 2012 at 6:35 am: Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. On that note, since you’re already not feeling well, now is the perfect time for your publisher to add a Midwest leg to your tour – sure your nose will get clogged, your throat will get sore, and your allergies will attack – but you ALREADY FEEL THIS WAY ANYWAY, right? You could use this trip to cleanse your body of toxins – and if that doesn’t work, the UM hospital here in Ann Arbor is very good.

Also, I’m over halfway done with your book, and purchased an additional copy for Mother’s Day, and can I just say, you are ridiculously adorable? And human. Thank you – it has been a pleasure reading, so far.
Shelly Quade recently posted..Telepathy & Feminism
285 Mom In Two Cultures May 11, 2012 at 6:45 am: Yes, come to the Midwest. You haven’t lived until you do.
Mom In Two Cultures recently posted..The Mommy Tsunami
286 Jo May 11, 2012 at 7:08 am: Won’t you pretty please consider coming to the greater Philadelphia area? I will bring you a sandwich or something to your signing if you do. See? Sandwich bribery. Pennsylvanians know how to operate.
287 Caryn May 11, 2012 at 7:11 am: Well done, and I hope you feel better soon. I am going to have to try and get my hands on a copy somehow… Do you know if it is being sold in South Africa at all?
Caryn recently posted..Octopus Lady
288 Anne May 11, 2012 at 7:14 am: Chicago in June, whoohoo!! I will totally be there, enormous pregnant belly and all. Can’t wait!
Anne recently posted..Becoming Dagny and Other Exercise Rambling
289 Sarah May 11, 2012 at 7:24 am: If you’re going to be in Chicago in June, you need to come to St. Louis in June as well. You may not know this, but we have a rivalry. You can’t visit one and not the other, or people will think you are picking sides. Plus, you don’t want to be on Chicago’s side. So, come to the Lou in June (it even sounds like a bathroom, am I right?). Just not the last week in June, as I will not be there to see you then! So, I suggest the first half of June, just to be safe. And Left Bank Books, because it’s an awesome place to hang out, and one of my favorites.

And the mindless nattering will stop now.
Sarah recently posted..Weekend Wrap-Up: Fun with Jasonisms
290 splacer May 11, 2012 at 7:40 am: I agree with Tee. Can you please come to Toronto?
291 Ann May 11, 2012 at 7:50 am: My copy arrived yesterday (UK release day) and I got 30 pages into it before I had even taken my coat off. Then my daughter saw it, stole it and I haven’t seen it since The good news is she’ll probably have finished it by the time I get home from work today and I’ll get it back!)
Thank you for making us laugh
292 NJCHICK in SoCal May 11, 2012 at 7:56 am: My jaw hurts … I cannot stop laughing!!! I went to B&N to look for a new book, picked up yours, and … well, let’s just say that I have been harrassing my friends daily to get your book, as well. I am now a horrible mother, not wanting to do anything else but read, and … will follow my loving, and extremely patient husband around the house reading him passages! I am trying to read slowly so the book does not end! Congrats on the new leg of the tour! xo Connie xo
293 Elizabeth M. May 11, 2012 at 7:57 am: Okay, so when you’re here in Chicago in June, pleasepleasePLEASE don’t be in the suburbs. If it’s a weekday, I’m totally taking the day off anyway, but I hate the suburbs almost as much as I hate ginormous crowds of people. :-p

And holy shitsnacks you’re gonna be in Chicago!!!!!!!!!! :-O

Feel better soon, Jenny. <3
294 Meg May 11, 2012 at 7:58 am: YAY FOR COMING TO CHICAGO!!!! We were hoping and hoping – we’ll definitely be there to see you!
Meg recently posted..MMM Day 3-6 and Sew Weekly Pink Challenge! And Chicago Social Sewing!
295 fussybritches May 11, 2012 at 7:58 am: You’re coming to Chicago!?! Woohoo!

Thank YOU Jenny for brightening up my morning (and every morning I read your blog). Your writing makes me furiously happy.
296 Elizabeth May 11, 2012 at 7:59 am: Jenny! I just downloaded your book on my ereader and I can not wait for my train ride home to read it. But in the meantime I wanted to share the (one and only) negative review I found on the Sony e-reader bookstore site, because it is just so hysterical!

“This book arrived in the mail the other day. Great title. Great cover. I couldn’t wait to read it.
Then I turned the book over and started reading the back.
And that was as far as I got.
Forgive me, but I cannot read this book. If my dad saw me reading this book, he’d wash my mouth out with soap. My mom would have put me in the corner and grounded me for a month. I have friends who would have had a public burning of this book.
I’m afraid it’s not a book for me. I’m not really a modern girl who casually mixes the profane with the sacred.
I wish it had never come in the mail for me.
Can we pretend this never happened?”

I don’t get it… seems to me your book is EXACTLY the book for her…
Congrats on your well deseved success – I can’t wait to start reading.
Hugs,
Elizabeth (a modern girl who casually mixes the profane with the sacred)
297 Red May 11, 2012 at 8:30 am: Yikes – I’m still getting over the whole tonsilitis, bronchitis & sinitis…pick an itis….It’s been almost 4 weeks of this mess. I feel ya. Congrats on the the book!
298 Dominique @ FreeToBeAthlete May 11, 2012 at 8:31 am: I am so excited that you will be in Concord. I was going to pick up the book, but now I will wait and get a signed copy! Thank you for being hilarious, and thank you for being real. I can’t wait!
Dominique @ FreeToBeAthlete recently posted..Three Legs Are Better Than One
299 Sara May 11, 2012 at 8:39 am: I’m so sorry I missed you when you came to NYC, but it’s probably for the best because I think I might have burst into (happy) tears and hugged you for an inappropriately lengthy period of time. I loved your book and I’m so happy for all your success.
300 Alice May 11, 2012 at 8:50 am: GOOD LORD YOU’RE COMING TO CHICAGO

Thank God. I was ready to wage war with states you’ve visited. Now all is okay.
Alice recently posted..Virginia Woolf, Sugared Almond-Pelter
301 Rebecca May 11, 2012 at 9:06 am: Jenny,
I was unable to see you in Lansing, because, I had to work..I know right? I thought about calling in sick, but I had already posted on my Facebook that you were coming…So, it is your patriotic duty to come back to Michigan. Or, fly me to Texas to Taxidermy with your Dad. Either way, its win.

Love from the Mitten,

Rebecca

PS-You need to get Viktor a Taxidermed Bobcat for his Birthday, for his Office, wearing a cowboy hat and chaps.
302 Heidi May 11, 2012 at 9:24 am: Wahoo! Chicago made the list! Can’t wait!
303 Red May 11, 2012 at 9:27 am: DUDE! You totally added a leg of where I USED TO LIVE UNTIL 10 DAYS AGO! I’m SOOOOO bummed. Okay…midwest next. midwest next. I know you hit Chicago earlier, but I wasn’t in the midwest yet. Maybe souther in the midwest?

I’m SO bummed. Curses.
Red recently posted..It’s Like a Fairytale! – but with murderous rocks
304 Josh May 11, 2012 at 9:52 am: Still no tour dates for the Northwest? Why must you be so cruel?
305 Cassondra May 11, 2012 at 10:08 am: Yay! Atlanta! Finally! 9 hours to Florida at 7.5 months pregnant is a bit much, but I think I can handle half an hour stuck in traffic to get to Buckhead!
Cassondra recently posted..Pregnancy advice, not like most of you care
306 DanielC May 11, 2012 at 10:09 am: WHEN and WHERE in Chicago?
307 Marianne May 11, 2012 at 10:15 am: Come to the beautiful Pacific Northwest so I (and my sister, and my girlfriends, et al) can come see you!!!
308 LilatheDR May 11, 2012 at 10:19 am: I have not laughed this hard in forever…seriously. Last night one the chapters I read was where you cleaned out your colon. I spent a good part of that chapter in the bathroom so I wouldn’t pee in the bed from laughing
LilatheDR recently posted..TORRE DE PISA – PISA (by ras764)
309 Jizzbanger May 11, 2012 at 10:41 am: You should TOTALLY come to Memphis…tell your people this!!!!!

I would absolutely love to come and see you and buy your awesome book, because I am a supporter of all things awesome…
310 Karma Waltonen May 11, 2012 at 10:52 am: I recently reviewed the book on my blog. (PS–Thanks for being so amazing!)
311 Denise Malloy May 11, 2012 at 10:52 am: Congrats Blogess! That is so very cool!
Denise Malloy recently posted..It’s All In The Planning
312 Karma Waltonen May 11, 2012 at 10:52 am: Should probably be clever enough to say that the review of your book is here: http://www.dr-karma.com/
313 Nataku May 11, 2012 at 11:08 am: Chicago in June? I may actually be able to make it depending on the dates. That would be epic.
314 Kristina May 11, 2012 at 11:15 am: Ya know, Minneapolis is lovely this time of year. Just in case you’re available to book tour here!
315 Milli May 11, 2012 at 11:22 am: OH MY GOSH! You’re coming to Chicago? I may have to see you! I mean, I’m in Wisconsin, but I want to meet you, state lines be damned.

Also, I was reading Lets Pretend This Never Happened in my shrink’s waiting room this morning, and I started giggling and grinning like a maniac and it felt really odd, but also oddly appropriate.
316 Jen Marie May 11, 2012 at 11:25 am: Yay! Atlanta! I may actually be able to make one!!! I’m visiting my sister at the same time…. perfection.
Jen Marie recently posted..Rhubarb Crisp
317 Jinx May 11, 2012 at 11:26 am: Omgomgomg! I can’t believe you are coming to Annapolis! I am SO there. I am making the boyfriend come too, and plan on reading aloud from your book for the entire drive, so he will be up to speed on your awesomeness when we get there. You’re welcome.

Get better soon, though i’ve heard that King Midas is tough to kick.
318 amy May 11, 2012 at 11:42 am: Please Please PLEASE come to Minneapolis!!!
319 Thoughtsy May 11, 2012 at 11:43 am: Woo-hoo for the Maryland stops! I’ll be there with bells on. Well, not real bells. Unless you think that’s cool. Then I’ll totally wear bells. Jingle, jangle!
Thoughtsy recently posted..Who Needs a Grill to BBQ?
320 in bed with married women May 11, 2012 at 11:49 am: I hope you added some “cheerios” and such for the U.K. version so it will “translate.”

Always here to help,
jill
in bed with married women recently posted..The Lush Sexuality of a Woman in Full Bloom
321 Megan May 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm: PLEASE COME TO NASHVILLE!!!
322 Becky May 11, 2012 at 12:16 pm: I am so excited to see you’ll be in NJ!! Where and when? I so want to go!
323 Kris May 11, 2012 at 12:18 pm: I am DEFINITELY coming to Annapolis!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Feel better!
324 Suzanne May 11, 2012 at 12:24 pm: Please come to Nashville. You can stay at my house. Please.

Or, you could stop by my house on your way from Atlanta to North Carolina to sign my book and say hi. It’s kind of on the way, but not really. Please.
325 Sara May 11, 2012 at 12:26 pm: (Sad Face) Are you going to come back to Northern California? Would love to see you, adored the book!
326 Kevin May 11, 2012 at 12:29 pm: Nashville, please! Atlanta in the middle of the week just won’t do!
327 aaron May 11, 2012 at 12:36 pm: Your welcome but team victor.
328 Laurel May 11, 2012 at 12:42 pm: Does this mean you’re coming back to California? Please please please? San Jose loves you!
329 Dana May 11, 2012 at 12:44 pm: YAY Jenny! And I am half way through the book, if my kids would shhhh, I could finish it!
Dana recently posted..2 1/2 Weeks of School To Go!
330 Melissa Kauffold May 11, 2012 at 12:47 pm: You’re my idol! Here’s hoping you feel better. I know all about stinkin’ sinuses! Argh!
331 Melissa Kauffold May 11, 2012 at 12:49 pm: Oh, and I’d ask you to come to my town, but we don’t sell books here…..or really anything besides gas and Mickey D’s. So I better find your next stop..lol!
Melissa Kauffold recently posted..Peacock & Purple Beaded Jewelry Bracelet, Woven Swarovski Crystal Bracelet, Bridesmaid Gift, Spring Fashion, Confirmation Graduation Gift by MelJoyCreations
332 Leah May 11, 2012 at 12:57 pm: Thank you for all your awesomeness and your willingness to share with the rest of us that are slightly warped.

I am ashamed to admit I missed you in San Antonio and Austin, TX and I live an hour from each. Timing just could not be worked out but I have friends who did make it and I hear you are even more awesome, if that is possible.

Feel better soon and THANK YOU!
333 Annabel May 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm: Are you having an English leg? Of your tour? I’m off to Kindle to get it Whispered on over, but want to meet you in real life and just be in awe… So, whenya coming?!?! You can stay on our sofabed if you pass through Oxford
Annabel recently posted..Go to the Doghouse today, if it’s all that you do
334 GurlNxtDoor May 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm: No, Jenny, THANK YOU!!! I loved the book and I think I’m going to read it again on a blue day when I need a laugh or need some perspective. Thank you for always providing plenty of both.
GurlNxtDoor recently posted..V is for Vamping or Vorpmi
335 Maggie May 11, 2012 at 1:13 pm: Thank you thank you thank you!!! I read whole chapters outloud to my friends, and we were laughing the whole time. Such a funny read and will definitely buy your next
336 Chris May 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm: I’m another with my vote in for Seattle. I’ll even bring you TWO TACOS if you come. PLEEEEEASE???
337 Kristina May 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm: Feel better soon! Maybe you need a little down time? I really enjoyed the book, by the way.
338 missicat May 11, 2012 at 2:28 pm: Will definitely make my best effort to get to Annapolis…not too far to drive, and I know the area. I may be hiding in the ladies room but at least I know I will find you there….
Who else is planning on going to the Annapolis signing?
339 Bill Dorman May 11, 2012 at 2:40 pm: Well deserved ma’am; rock on.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Bloggers Spotlight – meet Bill Dorman
340 Steff May 11, 2012 at 3:26 pm: Just finished last night – I’ve actually never laughed so much at a book in all my life! Recommending it to everyone now, so much to relate to!!

Come to the UK, more specifically Scotland!!
341 tmv May 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm: I’ll totally come to Annapolis, but can you clarify for me — it says tickets for the signing are provided with proof of purchase. I, uh, kind of pre-ordered my book via Amazon … does that mean B&N won’t let me approach?

And will there be pitchforks involved if I attempt to?
342 KateB May 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm: COME TO ST. LOUS!!! Close-ish to Chicago…get more out of your flight by hitting two cities in one trip. We also have a fantastic Indie bookshop (Left Bank Books!) that would be a perfect spot for you. I would like you to sign my book plate again…or my boob…people seem to enjoy that.
343 Anne May 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm: So excited to see you in Annapolis!
344 wendy May 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm: I know this would be a mutha-fuckin miracle, but I totally hope your book-signing gig in Chicago is the same week/end as the WizardWorld Con is. STAN-FUCKIN-LEE is gonna be there, as well as “my boys” –The stars of my (severely unhealthy–SHUP) obsession with all things Boondock Saints related. (Norman-FUCKIN-Reedus y’all, Rocco and Sean Patrick Flannery) I’mma gonna have to rob a bank or something. Thrice.

I will totally hide in the bathroom with you, I promise to bring my flask & my very own ‘Judy Garland trail-mix’. I promise I’ll share.
And if you need a place to crash, 3 hours south east of Chicago near Muncie {Go BALL U}, I offer my humble abode. We don’t answer the front door or nuttin. You can totally hide here….until my Mom shows up. Just try not to say the “FUCK” word around her too much, it makes her more nervous than a Chihuahua on water pills, red bull & crack. –
Which is why we (me, my 18yr old daughter & sometimes, if he slips up, my 13 yr old son) say it all the time. It’s awesome. You’d love her. My mom, that is. You might like us too. I promise not to curtsy, it’s really hard with my cane & all. heehee

YOU TOTALLY DESERVE ALL OF THIS….and just breatheeee, we love you. And then you can take a vacation. From your brain. And when you figure out how to do that, please let me know. I need one too. (Brain-cation)
345 Ava May 11, 2012 at 5:29 pm: Chicago?!?!? Um, I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH for putting us on the tour! I cannot wait to meet you. OMG, I love you!!!
346 Jena May 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm: I’m sorry you’re sick, and sorry I can’t read through 345 comments to see if anyone’s already asked this, but: did you talk to Wil Wheaton about how to handle book signings and meet n greets? I know everyone wants to hug you, but the sad truth is that you will stay MUCH healthier if you limit touching when possible. It sucks, but true fans will see it as helping you be a MORE productive writer!
347 Jenna May 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm: Boston, MA would love to see you.
348 Kristin May 11, 2012 at 6:56 pm: ohmygodohmygodohmygod!! you’re coming to BOSTON!??! for this, I will make a 4 hour drive to see you!!
349 RJ May 11, 2012 at 7:23 pm: My mom and I really want to come see you in Chicago, but she hates driving in big cities, so we probably won’t come. But we want to!
-RJ
RJ recently posted..RJ the Me and the Very Busy Next Two Weeks
350 tanniah May 11, 2012 at 8:32 pm: For the love that is all that is good and holy, (insert Juanita pic)can you stop by Philly or nearby? Don’t make me get a hotel room to see you!!!!
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351 Teresa Cavanaugh May 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm: Your book was sitting on the coffee table when I let the ferrets out to play. Corrignoor pushed the book off the coffee table and was nudging it across the floor. I don’t think it will fit in the ferret stash.
352 Setalora May 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm: I bought the audiobook and love it. I listen to it while at work. Unfortunately, there are times I want to refer back, or share with my husband, and I can’t because my brain is incapable of recounting the story accurately or finding it again in the audio format; consequently, I now have to buy the damn e-book as well. Well played, Jenny, well played.
353 Tamsin May 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm: Thanks to your book, a long flight from Houston to Rio passed very quickly! Any Canadian stops planned for your tour? Pretty please?
354 Susan May 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm: Ugh, traveling is the worst for your health. Drink lots of water and avoid sugar if you can, okay? Road warriors need to stay healthy!

It’s great that I may get a second chance to see you in NY, having missed it the first time. Just don’t come the last week of June, pretty please!
Susan recently posted..Math Doubles Plus Fun Time
355 Adrienne May 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm: Oh, snap!!! I will definitely be in Gaithersburg!!!
356 cole May 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm: http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180876750134+&item=180876750134&lgeo=1&vectorid=229466#ht_500wt_1202

I believe this squirrel has been drunking
357 Sandy May 12, 2012 at 12:36 am: Been made redundant so with no money have been debating whether I am better buying some dinner or your book. Am going for your book, as who needs a full belly when you can have a belly laugh .
358 Nina May 12, 2012 at 2:26 am: I really wish I could come hear you speak and have you sign your book for me!! Unfortunately I’m stationed at Shaw AFB and they have me working both nights. You’ll be only a few hours from me.. and that hurts me but it’s also exciting bc you’re like RIGHT there. I could reach out and touch you! Well not really… bc that would be creepy. But still! I could at least bask in your pure amazingness! *sigh*
Nina recently posted..Thank you. Seriously.
359 Jean May 12, 2012 at 3:44 am: I love it that the email I just got from Barnes & Noble lists LPTNH as a Mother’s Day read! I may have to re-read it tomorrow just because it’s that good. The husband is getting used to my laughing aloud and muttering to myself as I read it.
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360 Jennifer C. May 12, 2012 at 7:14 am: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! I am so excited you are coming to NJ!!!! And I just found my very own Beyonce–it was fate that I found her just this week in time for me to bring her to you so you can sign her!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! Thank YOU for writing this wonderful book and writing your wonderful blog–we adore you here in Jersey!! FIST PUMP!!!!
Jennifer C. recently posted..STAMPAGANZA Begins June 1!!
361 Jack W May 12, 2012 at 7:44 am: Congratulations! Thank you for being you and you deserve more credit than we do. You know, since you’re the funny one.

I’m looking forward to the day you have enough taxidermied critters that you can present a full orchestra.
Jack W recently posted..Test Post
362 Spencer May 12, 2012 at 7:53 am: You know, Phoenix is in the top 5 biggest cities, and I know for a fact you have a ton of fans out here. Just sayin’ . . .
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363 J.P. May 12, 2012 at 8:09 am: No, thank you. I wish you could come to me here in Kentucky. It would be really awesome to hear you speak/read. I love the book: could barely finish the chapter on Stanley the Magical Squirrel, I was laughing so hard. So hard that I’d then start coughing and hacking and it wasn’t pretty, but it was wonderful. Thank you.
J.P. recently posted..Friday Beau
364 Abby Knoblauch May 12, 2012 at 8:28 am: I hope you get well soon. In book news, I was reading in bed last night and was laughing so hard that I was freaking my puppy out. That’s not a euphemism.
365 MG May 12, 2012 at 8:57 am: I’m not one to ever go to book signings, but, holy shit, I might just break that rule.
366 Karen May 12, 2012 at 8:59 am: Another voice from the Seattle contingent!
367 Michelle G May 12, 2012 at 9:01 am: Awesome!!! I recommend your book to everyone I know! Can you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE, WITH A CHERRY ON TOP COME TO TORONTO? Or Guelph, nice town, I live there. PLEASE????? I’ll be forever thankful, and I’ll bring you Starbucks, or a taxidermied warthog. PLEASE?????
368 Karyn M May 12, 2012 at 9:04 am: PLEASE COME TO BOSTON!
369 Debbie May 12, 2012 at 9:04 am: I tried to email, but it was kicked back…so this is going to be a long comment…apologies in advance

I know you get these emails all the time…”oh my gosh, you’re so funny….blah, blah, blah”, and of course, here I am sending another one. I just HAD to write, though, because I am also a (former, thank God) west Texas girl. And you think you were shunned in school….

How about growing up poor IN Midland, where everyone had a lot of money or worked very hard to appear that way. Everyone except my mother, that is…who insisted that homemade clothes from my grandmother (which always came in two sizes…one for me, one for my older sister….which naturally meant that I got to suffer through every article of clothing twice, because I got the hand me downs too), and thrift store items from the seventies were WAY better than clothes from Dillard’s, where I sooooo longed to shop. And if the clothes weren’t reason enough for me to be ruthlessly mocked by the mean queens of middle school, there was also the VW bus that mom insisted on driving. That was poop brown. I wish I was making all of this up.

I did escape for awhile, and find solace in New Mexico, where I actually did find acceptance and a thriving social life for awhile. Although it was just in Roswell, which at the time was solely known as “that place I stopped to pee on my way to go skiing in Ruidoso”, prior to all the alien hubbub (and don’t think I don’t hear enough of the alien/UFO/probing jokes when I tell people where I went to high school). New Mexico in that area was basically west Texas with smaller malls.

We have lived in the Dallas area for twelve years now, and I will say that for the first couple of years, I would have gone back to Midland in a heartbeat. I still have some of my family there, and my husband is from Andrews (if you’ve ever heard of it), so most of his family is still in the area between Andrews and Snyder (site of the yearly family reunion. In a building called “the barn”. With a tin roof, no a/c, held every year in the first weekend of August (wtf is wrong with these people?).

Sorry…the whole reason for this diatribe is to tell you that I relate very much to your book…and my friend who is reading it too says that every page reminds her of me….only maybe on crack. Which I took as a compliment…hope you do too. And to let you know that I purchased miniature versions of Beyonce the chicken at our monthly trade days and gave them to my best pals. Mine is Roscoe P Coltrane. ;-)

II enjoy your writing as only someone with a common background could….someone who caught horny toads as a kid, to see if they really squirt blood out their eyeballs when threatened (I personally never saw it…I guess I don’t frighten horny toads much), some who actually played with tumbleweeds larger that myself, and thought dust devils were the runt of the tornado litter. In short (too late for that, I now realize)….please keep doing what you do. I definitely appreciate it!

A fan,
Debbie
370 Rachael May 12, 2012 at 9:09 am: No. Thank YOU for being so awesome!
Rachael recently posted..7 Quick Takes Friday: Tiaras, Chalk Teeth & Freezers
371 Michael Y. May 12, 2012 at 9:10 am: Come to Houston All of those are so far considering you are so close.
Michael Y. recently posted..So Amazing he is.
thewonderthatkeepsthestarsapart:

I love…
372 Stefanie May 12, 2012 at 9:12 am: Believe it or not, but you DO have fans in conservative UT!! (one, so far….ME) However, I have been actively been spreading the gospel of Jenny to all that will listen. Actually, I COMMAND that they read your posts! Much love and much luck to you!
373 Maggie Vaughn May 12, 2012 at 9:19 am: Wooo!!! Three generations of Jenny fans headed to Gaithersburg! Admittedly, one generation is only 5 years old . . .she is a future fan. And my little Juanita Weasel will make a perfect dashboard co-pilot!
374 Jen May 12, 2012 at 9:22 am: You need to come to Minneapolis!! Pretty please!
375 prin May 12, 2012 at 9:23 am: Canada!
376 EdT. May 12, 2012 at 9:28 am: Jenny – looks like I have joined you in the League of Those With Auto-Immune Disorders. This week, a neurologist at Methodist Hospital diagnosed me with myasthenia gravis, and the next couple of weeks are being devoted to tests to determine the extent to which I am affected, as well as plasma exchanges to get rid of the antibodies. At least now I have an answer for why I have been so damned exhausted all the time, and afraid to go out in crowds (which is why I didn’t see you at your tour stop in Houston – for which I made up by purchasing your audiobook in addition to the Kindle edition.)

Take care, and keep up the good work!
~EdT.
EdT. recently posted..Two Words
377 Muskrat May 12, 2012 at 9:32 am: Woot!
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378 DarcyD May 12, 2012 at 9:38 am: That book is the only thing to make me laugh out loud after my awful breakup; you MAY have saved my sanity; thank you:)
379 XLMIC May 12, 2012 at 9:39 am: When you were a kid, if you ever dreamed that what was going on would land you where you are, did you ever actually believe that it would?

You are amazing and so deserving. Congrats on all of it Wish you were headed back to the SF Bay Area!
XLMIC recently posted..Thirteen Thursday
380 Laurie May 12, 2012 at 9:45 am: Still no Indiana : (
381 Stephanie May 12, 2012 at 9:45 am: Congratulations!
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382 Stacy May 12, 2012 at 9:53 am: You are coming here! I am so excited and will be there!
383 Danielle May 12, 2012 at 9:53 am: Man, by the time I move back to the states you will be far away! dang it !!!!
384 Nancy May 12, 2012 at 9:56 am: I’ve been reading your book on my Kindle. Love it!
385 Teresa May 12, 2012 at 10:05 am: Holy shitsnacks!!! You are coming to NC!!!! Can’t wait to meet you and thank you personally for making me laugh out loud while reading a book…in public. And I love when someone asks what I’m laughing at and I get to read passages to them like the wine-tasting review comments. LOL!
386 Diane May 12, 2012 at 10:05 am: Start taking Airborne. It’s practically koolaid but with good stuff in it. There’s also this stuff called Immune-C and Emergen-C …something like that. But you have to use it like mad (couple bottles) for a couple of days. Then just start having the Airborne a couple times a day. Better vitamins than nasty pharmaceuticals that will just kill you in the end. Just sayin…

xoxoxo
387 Nicki May 12, 2012 at 10:08 am: Congratulations! You are welcome but YOU are the one who did all the work!! I can’t wait to read it!!
388 Ashley May 12, 2012 at 10:14 am: You are welcome – I just downloaded it. YOU HAVE NO IDEA how hard it was to wait – I was making myself finish the book I was reading before your’s came out. But I am SOOOOOO excited to start. The acknowledgement page alone is worth the 12.99 I paid for the book.
Ashley recently posted..Mother’s Day
389 CherBearBlue May 12, 2012 at 10:17 am: Ahhh!! I’m SO HAPPY you’re coming to CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jenny!!!!
390 Barnmaven May 12, 2012 at 10:25 am: STILL NO PACIFIC NORTHWEST STOPS. This is just wrong. And discriminatory.

If I make really big sad pathetic eyes will your publisher schedule a book signing in Seattle or Portland? Pretty please?
Barnmaven recently posted..One of millions of gratuitious Mother’s Day blog posts.
391 @rdweatherly May 12, 2012 at 10:34 am: I’m so excited!! You’re coming near me on the new leg of the tour!!! I have no idea how to get to Gaithersburg from Northern VA, but I will see you there!!
@rdweatherly recently posted..Never say goodbye
392 Doreen May 12, 2012 at 10:43 am: Will see you in Chicago!!!
393 Karlalala May 12, 2012 at 10:50 am: You deserve it. It is such a good book. I may have been caught reading it on my kindle at a conference when I laughed out loud at an inappropriate time in an education session.
394 Sheila May 12, 2012 at 10:51 am: I can’t wait to see you thursday. My Sister and I will be coming from the upper part of SC.
395 Darcy May 12, 2012 at 10:54 am: Just bought copies for myself, my mom, and my mother in law, and would love to see you in SEATTLE! I hope there’s a leg 4 for us out on the west coast!
396 Christy May 12, 2012 at 11:46 am: I seriously just did one of those fist pumps to the side with the combination knee lift when I saw you are coming to NC!!!! I don’t care who is watching my kids but I am going to be there!
Christy recently posted..Stuffed monkey puppet? No thank you. Evil Homicidal Monkey? Yes, please!
397 Mary May 12, 2012 at 11:49 am: Denver, Denver, Denver. My new mantra
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398 Delfin Joaquin Paris III May 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm: I’ll be there in Chicago. Also, will try not to hit on your readers. (no promises)
Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted..Best Advertising Request EVER
399 Ruth May 12, 2012 at 12:26 pm: You are awesome. Also I hope the NJ stop is in S. Jersey close to Philadelphia (although coming to Philly itself would better!)
400 jenelle May 12, 2012 at 1:14 pm: COME TO SEATTLE. I’ll take you to see the troll under the Freemont bridge.
jenelle recently posted..Be afraid, I’ve been thinking….
401 Jen May 12, 2012 at 1:19 pm: Hey! So I should probably leave this comment on the Beyonce thread but it’s got like a bajillion comments on it already and, well, this post is RIGHT HERE AT THE TOP. So, I am a crazy chicken lady, and next week I am getting a pair of show chickens. Well, a show hen and a show rooster. AND I AM NAMING THE ROOSTER BEYONCE. Just thought you’d like to know
402 Chitra Divakaruni May 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm: Congratulations, Jenny! You do us Houstonians proud. Good luck as the tour unfurls.
Chitra
403 The String Empire May 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm: Thank YOU for writing this book. It made me really happy.

You should totally come to the U.K. and continue your book tour over here. I’ll buy you an icecream. WITH a flake! AND sprinkles!
The String Empire recently posted..The String Empire’s first Giveaway!
404 Katy May 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm: Crossing my fingers that Boston will be early in June. I am now buying a copy of the book, just so you can sign it! Well, that and the fact that our library waitlist is prejudiced against college students. (Seriously. No offense to all you middle-aged mothers, but I was definitely before you! Cheaters.)
Katy recently posted..Day in the Life of a Housesitter
405 tracey May 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm: Just waiting for the Chicago date!

Feel better and enjoy this time!!
tracey recently posted..Pictures, pictures…
406 Athena Letourneau May 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm: You should add Vermont to your book tour! We really like wine and dark humor here. For realz.

Get well soon!
Athena Letourneau recently posted..Pop culture sexism and self-esteem
407 Jen at PIWTPITT May 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm: What about Kansas City?? There are tons of us here who would love to have you come.
Jen at PIWTPITT recently posted..TIME Magazine
408 littlemsblogger May 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm: I’m very excited because I joined a book club and convinced the club that our next book should be yours. I can’t wait to read it and although I’ve seen your book on the NYT list, I think I saw it posted as a must read in Whole Living. However, been reading your for a long time now because I love your voice.

Can’t wait to read it.
littlemsblogger recently posted..Yin and Yang
409 fiona May 12, 2012 at 4:42 pm: I am in love with Ron. Also Copernicus, not to mention Wolf Blitzen. Guess we have the same sick sense of humor. I’ll keep my eye out for more taxidermied buddies.
Victor needs to get a grip. They are adorable.
Fee
410 Natalie May 12, 2012 at 4:48 pm: I just finished the book. Not because I’m a really slow reader, but because I just bought it yesterday. I waited to buy it because I wanted to make sure the book would stay on the NYT bestseller list even after the initial rush was over. I delayed my own gratification for your sake. It had almost nothing to do with the fact that I was too broke to buy it when it first came out. Anyway, I loved every word and I am still marketing at your ability to make me laugh on one page and cry on the next page and frequently do both at once. Thank YOU.
Natalie recently posted..An Open Letter to Sean Harris
411 Sasha May 12, 2012 at 4:52 pm: YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!! You will be at the Gaithersburg book festival! I WILL BE THERE!!!
412 Natalie May 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm: Arghh!!! I typed my first comment on my phone and just now realized that it autocorrected “marvelling” to “marketing.” I am going to go smash my phone with a hammer now for making me look stupid and incoherent.
Natalie recently posted..An Open Letter to Sean Harris
413 Michelle May 12, 2012 at 6:55 pm: Another vote for Minneapolis, MN here! It’s a short plane, train, or drive from Chicago.
414 Kerry Rossow May 12, 2012 at 6:55 pm: Thank YOU so much for all the times I have felt like !@#$% and found my way to your words and wind up laughing myself silly.
I am hoping to zip to the Chicago leg, although I fear I will blurt out socially inappropriate comments like “you smell nice” or “you sure purdy”.
Have a fantastic time!
Kerry at HouseTalkN
Kerry Rossow recently posted..A Guest Blogger For Mother’s Day…
415 Christal May 12, 2012 at 7:16 pm: I intended to buy the book through you to get it autographed…. and I stood in the bookstore reading it and laughing and finally just walked right up to the cash register and bought it. Thanks. But now it’s not autographed. However, I did re-watch some Star Trek on Netflix just to see Wesley in his earlier years because of collating. I hope he’s getting residuals. Loved the book! & the Blog.
416 Longshot May 12, 2012 at 7:48 pm: Dear Jenny,
I got your book in the mail on Friday, and I laughed until my sides hurt 3 times before I got to page 20! I’m halfway through and I swear to you I haven’t laughed this hard at the material in a book in MANY YEARS!

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SO MUCH for writing this! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to go to your events while you were in Austin & Dallas. I regret that.

I grew up in Houston btw, and my family is still there.

I’m so glad your book has met with such success – it *deserves* it! I intend to have as many friends as possible read it. Shouldn’t be a tough sell
417 Lara J. Gibson May 12, 2012 at 7:56 pm: Jenny, I loved the Audible version of your book and I think you should record a GPS voice with random Tangents to go between turning directions… I would totally buy it… and wish you were coming to Minneapolis Minnesota….Good luck on the UK premier

Lara J
418 Kim Gourlay May 12, 2012 at 8:05 pm: My husband helped by buying me your book for Mother’s Day! Now I have a reason o wet my pants when I laugh.
Kim Gourlay recently posted..Gatefold Card CAS
419 Nicole May 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm: we are planning a trip from richmond va to your annapolis signing!!! hurrray
420 alonewithcats May 12, 2012 at 8:17 pm: BOSTON! We are going to drink booze slushees under tables surrounded by whimsical dead animals dressed in people clothes AND IT’S GOING TO BE SO AWESOME.
alonewithcats recently posted..And then I got a book deal and was mentioned in The New York Times. Sort of.
421 Rebekah Mae May 12, 2012 at 8:34 pm: You…should add Hampton Roads VA to your tour. ;O
Rebekah Mae recently posted..There’s a strong chance that I’m moving to New England in the Fall
422 Cindy W May 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm: Still no Michigan leg, not feeling the love. Congrats on your extended tour and you definitely belong on the NYT best seller list.
423 Mary May 12, 2012 at 9:56 pm: Please come to Canada. It’s not that far.
424 Varda (SquashedMom) May 12, 2012 at 10:05 pm: You’re coming back to New York? Awesome! I will certainly come again (“support my friends” being my number 1 credo) and this time bring all my other friends who couldn’t make it & were insanely jealous that I got to go. Hopefully Marinka can make it again, too.
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Talking about Screen-love at Hopeful Parents
425 Ariel May 12, 2012 at 11:31 pm: Just read about a shop in NYC called Obscura Antiques and Oddities. Sounds like your kind of place, full of dead animals and other ghoulish delights. I think you should definitely go there, but don’t tell Victor. You’ll probably get a great blog entry and some cool dead stuff, so WIN-WIN!
426 Krista May 13, 2012 at 1:59 am: I’m disappointed that Middle Of Nowhere here isn’t on your tour schedule, but I bought my copy tonight and I’m SO EXCITED!! Thanks for being very possibly the funniest person on the planet.
427 Chris Dean May 13, 2012 at 4:19 am: Dear PR Guy, upon further consideration, I no longer think the Bloggess should extend her tour to include Indianapolis. Instead, I think she needs to go home, hide for a while, and find her happy-place again. Thank you and have an awesome day!
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428 Karen Eggers May 13, 2012 at 6:35 am: Ordered my copy online, got my signed note card. Read the book in one day, and then let my sister borrow it. Now your coming here, so my sister gets to keep the copy I loaned her, and I will buy a new copy to have you sign in person…

I am so excited…I am going out of town next weekend, but will get back just in time to get to the signing.
429 Cheryl May 13, 2012 at 7:15 am: So happy for you! Arm chair cheering from afar.
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430 Average Jill May 13, 2012 at 8:33 am: Come to Kansas City. Pretty please? With sugar on top?
431 Jen May 13, 2012 at 9:27 am: So, when is the UK leg? And the UK audio book release? We wait with bated breath…. (well, I held my breath for a few seconds to make that statement a little more true, so that counts, right?!)
432 Lesley May 13, 2012 at 10:00 am: Chapters downtown (Ottawa) has a full display for your book as it is a pick of the month – I have a photo, and as of May 11th you are #5 on the top 20 most popular books for Amazon Canada…….
433 xtine May 13, 2012 at 11:43 am: Thank you for the best Mother’s Day ever!
434 Kate May 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm: When you say New York, you mean New York State, right? (C’mon! Give Western New York your love! We have Buffalo Wings and a waterfall and wine (much of it better than you’d think it’d be) I WILL MAKE EVERYONE I KNOW COME TO YOUR READING! Sorry, my caps lock got stuck there.) ;D
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435 Lin Ilsley May 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm: Good job, kid. V. G. Job!
436 Kathleen May 14, 2012 at 6:43 am: Thank you thank you THANK YOU for putting Atlanta on your book tour! I can’t wait! (And Annapolis, because my bestie in Maryland would have been pissed if I got to see you and she didn’t)
437 KC Hotvedt May 14, 2012 at 7:40 am: Can’t wait to read the book just waiting for it to come in the mail. Your two biggest fans live in Grand Forks ND. If you ever want to feel like you live in the biggest city ever you should come up here. I’m telling you, you will feel amazing after seeing how we live. LOL
438 Rachel May 14, 2012 at 8:00 am: Hi! I just wanted to let you know two things about your book. One: I was in a GOOD book store in Asheville, NC this week and they had a display for your book. But I couldn’t find it on the shelves. So I asked, and they had sold out of it!

Second: I was just looking up “Prague Winter” – where Madeline Albright talks about her holy-shit-I’m-Jewish childhood on audible.com – and your book was listed as “what’s trending in bios and memoirs”. So you are in a way MORE INTERESTING than Madeline Albright and finding out you’re Jewish after 40 (?) ish years.

Oh. And while I was on vacation in Asheville I spent most of the time reading your book. Though luckily not in public. Because that shit made me pee myself laughing. And then I cried. And then I laughed again. And I’m pretty sure that response gets you sent to a “home”.
439 Lauren May 14, 2012 at 9:47 am: Jenny! You are absolutely brilliant!!! I am so happy to see that your book tour will bring you to Chicago!!! Post details as soon as possible!
440 LaKishia Sweat May 14, 2012 at 10:18 am: It sucks that you are going to be so close to me here in North Carolina, but still so far away!!
441 Wendy May 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm: OMG YOU’RE COMING TO CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!
*hyperventillates*
442 Wendy May 14, 2012 at 12:50 pm: Chicago Folks – once we know where she’s going to be we need to totally get a huge group together at a nearby bar before getting in line. Like a book club but with more booze
443 jen May 14, 2012 at 1:59 pm: Excellent. You’re coming to Annapolis. Buford my taxidermied toad and I plan to be in attendance!
444 Krissy May 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm: Imagine my joyful surprise as I looked for a book in the airport bookstore and found yours!!! I had been meaning to and wanting to buy it since it was first released! I’m loving every minute of it, though many people on the plane gave me odd looks as I periodically burst out into fits of laughter. Thanks for continuing to brighten my day!

And just to add my two cents…you should totally add Portland, OR to your book tour!!!
445 Carla Angell May 14, 2012 at 5:41 pm: OMW I am SO excited… I will be there in Concord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
446 Justice Fergie May 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm: OMG! I have bronchitis and sinusitis TOO. Do you think we got it in Miami? I bet it was that dump Versace called a house.
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447 Heather May 14, 2012 at 8:24 pm: I will definitely come to the Boston one! Even if I have to skip class!!!!
448 Bethany May 14, 2012 at 9:27 pm: Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease come to New Orleans!

Jazz! Bourbon Street! Voodoo! Think of all the fun times to be had. Hell, you should just come to NOLA anyway, even if it’s not officially part of your tour, and we could hang out. Drinks are on me.
449 Lara May 15, 2012 at 12:16 am: I had a craptastic week. Then I read the book. Thanks. Just. Thanks. I feel much better now.
And you should totally come to Albuquerque for your book tour…and you can come meet ‘Lil Kim, the giant metal chicken we gave my sister in law for her birthday. It was in September, so her balloons popped. And the party hat blew away, but she’s still awesome!
450 Kelly May 15, 2012 at 3:24 am: Boo, I have to work the night you’re in Atlanta! Well, if you get through the signing and want a drink, I’ll be at the patio bar of Hudson Grille in Brookhaven. 4046 Peachtree Road, not that far from the store you’ll be signing at. Your first drink’s on me if you come over!
451 Brenda May 15, 2012 at 10:53 am: Hi! Maybe I’m asking a really dumb question you’ve already answered a million times, but are you planning a Canadian tour???? I would scroll through the comments for an answer, but there are like 5 million
452 Tina May 15, 2012 at 12:51 pm: When are you coming to Chicago? I need to plan my life around it.

Also, you should probably check out your Contemporary Black Biography: http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/Jennifer_Lawson.aspx

I found it when I was trying to search your tour dates….
453 John Lewis May 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm: Leg Four? Portland/Seattle? Pretty please?
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454 Nicole@TheKidlessKronicles May 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm: NC! Wahoo….

The Kidless Kronicles
455 Chris "frecklemama" May 15, 2012 at 1:05 pm: I laughed out loud the whole way through and read it in one day. My BFF texted me first thing this am to say she has been laughing out loud reading it too.

Thank YOU, for putting yourself, your story and your talent into this book. It was even better than I expected.
Chris
456 Kerry :) May 15, 2012 at 1:06 pm: Seriously… How many do I have to buy to get you to SLC
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457 Debra May 15, 2012 at 1:08 pm: I see that NY is listed on your book tour….. UPSTATE perhaps? And by that I mean Albany, because in New York you need to specify where in Upstate you are located because most of the State is Upstate from New York City…….any way. Fingers crossed for Albany!
458 Jason May 15, 2012 at 1:09 pm: I don’t suppose there’s any hope of a Columbus, Dayton or Cincinnati Ohio visit?
459 Stephanie May 15, 2012 at 1:12 pm: I might have to plan my trip to NY around your tour schedule! I saw you in SF and totally failed at my mission to be witty enough in two sentences to make you my new best friend… Maybe NY… Maybe NY…
460 ChaosRu May 15, 2012 at 1:14 pm: YAY and congratulations! Over-the-top happy that you are coming to Chicago!
461 Ashley May 15, 2012 at 1:40 pm: Seattle, pretty please!
462 Lisa May 15, 2012 at 1:41 pm: I convinced my book club that your book was a must. It’s our next read. 14 more copies sold!
463 Haleyk May 15, 2012 at 3:09 pm: I am so sad because I just finished your book:( I wish there was more to read. It was hilarious and helped me get through the Lupus flare up I’ve been experiencing lately!
464 Lesley May 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm: I’ll be there in Maryland! Of course I will.

Love you, feel better! <3

PS. STILL cant believe you're going to be, like, 10 miles away from my house!!!! You could come stalk me. I make good food! I'm a Pastry Chef!
Lesley recently posted..Fairy Tales: And Then The Spider Almost KILLED Me. True Story.
465 Mel May 15, 2012 at 3:59 pm: Aw man! I used to live right by the Concord Mills mall but we just moved! And I was out of the state when you came to Houston where we are now. Bah, I’m sad. Love the book though!
466 Carmen May 15, 2012 at 7:10 pm: CHICAGO? REALLY?!?! I am soooooooo excited!!! You better not be joshin’ me!
467 Amee May 15, 2012 at 8:42 pm: I love your site and your book… http://wp.me/p1WZPw-pDX
I was going to send you a baster but I didn’t want to do something that would cause you to relive your childhood.. oh yeah you wrote a book on that.
I would pass your book on to my friends but they should buy their own because I’m keeping mine and even though they say they are giving it back you know they never do. I just can’t chance it!
468 gerri May 16, 2012 at 6:06 am: Will you please come to Louisville ky?
I promise to bring you something dead that has on a cute outfit!
469 Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food May 16, 2012 at 9:36 am: So looking forward to your arrival in Gaithersburg, MD! Seriously. And I’m not saying that just because my in-laws will have been in my house for 3 days by the time you arrive and I’ll totally need a break by that point. PS, I’m totally asking you to sign my Kindle.
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470 Katie May 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm: So you should totally come somewhere closer to me, like nashville or birmingham because both me and my aunt would come see you!!!!!
Katie recently posted..Hello All
471 Margie Kruse May 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm: I guess I dont understand. Or maybe I don’t read well. It could have something to do with that amazing low reading comprehension score in English. . .my whole life. But I simply don’t see Chicago on the list. It feels discriminatory. I wonder if the ACLU knows about this. I wonder what Gloria Alred would think. You know, Obama’s from here and he reads your stuff. By the time you get us on your schedule, we should have this NATO crap cleaned up. Oh, and that bullshit about Capone, he’s dead anyway. Now Rham is in charge. It’s the same, except you’re safe.
472 Margie Kruse May 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm: Oh, and Atlanta? Not too imaginative on the street naming thing. We have more than one street in Chicago, and none of them are Peachtree.
Margie Kruse recently posted..The Super Power Of The Oath
473 Danielle t May 16, 2012 at 5:36 pm: Dude you have to come louisville KY. The only thing we are famous for is over (ky derby) but we could hook you up with some chicken I really need you to sign my nook. I’m kinda obsessed with you after reading your book. Can’t wait to see u!!
474 Aimee May 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm: Please, please, please come to New Mexico! We love you here! I had pre-ordered the book and read it in two days! Laugh-out-loud hilarious! Loved it!
475 Katy B May 17, 2012 at 11:17 am: If you need a reason to come out to Honolulu, HI on your book tour, here it is: I would definitely come out to see you and I would bring you homemade brownies. And I would even try really hard not to make that seem creepy.
476 Tina :) May 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm: Did I miss it? When is Chicago? I’m so excited that you’re coming to my city so I can get my book signed!
Tina recently posted..Ms. Tina, Preschool Teacher
477 Holly May 18, 2012 at 6:37 am: Minnesota! You need to come to the twin cities!!! Ever hear of MN nice? It just means we are passive aggressive and won’t call you on your shit to your face and talk about you behind your back… We will make you feel good about yourself while you are here though… think about it… seriously.
478 Tracey S. May 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm: BOSTON!!! *SQUEE* Do we have a date yet? Was it announced and I missed it? Because that happens a lot to me. I’m pretty oblivious sometimes. But yeah… BOSTON!!!!! Can’t Wait!
479 MaryHS May 18, 2012 at 2:22 pm: So, you’re going to New York and you’re going to Boston… and no Hartford and no New Haven… Rats.
Rats without coats. Rats without names. Rats who wish that one of the publicity people had thought about calling that nifty Barnes&Noble in Glastonbury CT.
I’ll buy you cake. Heck, I’ll bring gluten-free cake.
480 Giulia May 21, 2012 at 9:10 am: Will they be sending you to Europe? I hope so!! I’d love to meet you. I was just in NYC but missed you… ^_^
Giulia recently posted..let’s pretend this never happened
481 Sammi May 21, 2012 at 4:06 pm: Ok so date for Chicago? Or you could skip that and go to Indy, or Cinci, or Louisville I’m not bias. They are all in travel range for a day. I will bake a wicked cake if you go to one of those 3 because I do not think the train conductors will appreciate a cake coming on to the train because then I might be reduced to making a cupcake or cookies or brownies. Yeah thats too plain. Cakes are better.
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