Judgemental cat is unpleased

So the term “mommyblogger” is pretty much the new “bitches”.  It was out of style for a bit but now it’s returning with a vengeance. (We’re taking it back, motherf’ers!)  I wrote about it on my other blog and got this response from a friend of mine:

Friend:  Hey, I read your post about mommybloggers.  You spelled ‘beaver’ wrong.

Me:  What are you talking about?  Where do you see “beaver”?

Friend:  You wrote it on your face.  Beever.

Me:  That says “BELIEVER“.  

Friend:  Oh.

Me:  Can I ask why you thought I would write “Beaver” across my face?  And more importantly, why the only thing weird thing to you was that I misspelled it?

Friend:  It did seem a little weird.

Me:  What the hell is wrong with you?

Friend:   I just thought you’d like to know.

Me:  Yes, actually, I would like to know if you see me posting pictures with “Beaver” written across my face because that would mean I should be committed.

Friend:  Well I’ll keep an eye out then. 





I’m there.  Way below Dane Cook and The Onion but slightly above Mattress Police and Crummy Church Signs.  



Special shout out to my friend PreppyGirl who pointed out that the rather judgemental ad next to the post about my kitty being put to death is unintentionally hysterical in a truly horrific kind of way:



Have you noticed that lately I’ve been blogging a lot about blogging?  Next stop…me live-blogging my blogging about blogging and recording it all to upload on youtube.  It’s like looking into a mirror with another mirror behind you (i.e. boring and headache-inducing).  Then the world implodes from all the narcissism. 

Best comment of the day:  “You spelled Brokaw wrong.”  ~Sjinky

70 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Oh man…I should totally shout out FIRST like one of those assholes who shouts out FIRST and then is actually like the 14th commenter. We need to coin a term for that for the urban dictionary.

    This post gave me a belly laugh.

    Greta’s last blog post..Laughing Myself Fat with Betty Boop

  2. What’s wrong with writing Beaver on your face???

    Maria [Immoral Matriarch]’s last blog post..NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  3. you’re the only person on these interwebs that i don’t actually mind blogging about blogging. otherwise, it sucks. totally. sucks balls.

    yeah. you were kawasakied (AGAIN). be sure to tell your new BFF that i’d like him to add me to the twitterati!

    beaver. did i ever tell you of the insurance agent i know named Randy Beavers? i shit. you. not.

  4. I’m pretty sure your friend must be one of my husband’s friends. That man sees the word “beaver” everywhere.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Take It Back Now, Y?All

  5. You spelled Brokaw wrong.

  6. so, i didn’t even notice the animal cruelty ad. and now i have to change into pee-free pants cause DAMN that was funny…

    hey beever, are you going to the bossy does dallas party? cause i’m pretty sure you should

    Biddy’s last blog post..the belt story

  7. Make sure you record the live blogging of the blogging for a podcast, and video it for a vodcast. Then the circle will be complete.

    The cat cracks me up. How come I didn’t notice that?

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..The Family Dinner

  8. this blog + being a new mom with weakened bladder control = really bad news

    teresa’s last blog post..Amazing!

  9. You look strangely like June Cleaver in that picture… hey, that rhymes with “beaver”. Could that be why they though you’d write that on your face?

    People are weird. It’s like guys writing “penis” on their noses. Like we didn’t already know.

    Sayre’s last blog post..Bored Boy with Camera

  10. P.S. You CANNOT be old enough to remember skate keys. Your mom must have dug through a trunk for you.

    Sayre’s last blog post..Bored Boy with Camera

  11. I have to say I’m disappointed that this post didn’t include a picture of you with BEAVER written across your forehead. Here’s hoping for next time…

    Absolutely Bananas’s last blog post..Sticky

  12. 1) You have a beaver on your face????

    2) Your beauty mark is…beautiful.

    3) But you wear a BANDANA??? WTH is wrong with you???

    4) It’s okay to have “beaver” written across your face as long as there’s not a beaver ON your face. Because, contrary to popular opinion, there is something very wrong with a mommyblogger having beaver on her face.

    Robin’s last blog post..Waxing poetic all the day long…

  13. 1. I love that someone would think you’d be crazy enough to write beaver…do they think you are an Oregon State fan?
    2. The ad is rather twistedly funny.
    3. And, check you out Ms Blogger pro! Making the big time!

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..TT: 13 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Texas

  14. I hope you take this as a compliment, but your face is so porcelain, you look like a movie star from the 1940s – gorgeous, dahlink.

    Sunshine’s last blog post..Birthday Cake is Good for the Munchies

  15. Excellent timing on the ads! Accepting them and then getting Kawasakied! Guess you’ll have that dentistry paid for in 10…9…8…

    Judgmental Cat is just looking out for the other kitties and is probably trying to send a message to your vet!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..You Have My Sympathy

  16. Whatever, beever face.

    flutter’s last blog post..wind blowing in through the door

  17. i heart you.

    janet’s last blog post..Carpools: can’t live with them, can’t dump them

  18. if mommyblogger’s the new bitches then where do the old bitches go?

    jen’s last blog post..scandalous

  19. 19
    Just A. Reader

    Wait … are you saying having beaver on your face is a bad thing? I’m so confused!

  20. I want a t-shirt that reads, “I’m a beaver-faced mommyblogger, bitch.”

    Robyn’s last blog post..Star-crossed or Star-crushed?

  21. I love the lighting bolt “i” in the word “artist” that is on your face. It’s bitchen in an 80’s sort of way. Like a Peachie folder.

    Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..I Can Haz Pretty Pictures

  22. (Hastily wiping off the “Beever” I wrote on my face so I could be like Jenny)

    Lotta’s last blog post..Are They Rubbing The Lemons On Their Ass?

  23. I keep getting called the anti mommy blogger. Mainly by guys and then they want to see my boobs….. But I am in Australia and we don’t have Mommies here we have Mummies (not the wrapped in bandages kind) and that is a whole different story.

    And no beavers here. Perhaps I should write Platypus on my face?

    Kelley’s last blog post..Randomness on drugs

  24. Note to self: if I ever post a picture of myself with with word “Pens” across my face, make sure the font is really dark and really legible.

    Oh and thank you – I am truly honored to be Bloggessed.

    BusyDad’s last blog post..Whatever Happened to “Girls Have Cooties”???

  25. And on the lower right corner it just says “er.”

    Like as in, “er, I can’t think of anything clever to say in Jenny’s comment section.”

    markira’s last blog post..My daughter the Ice Queen

  26. I did this in your honor.

    furiousball’s last blog post..Jawboner? the thrilling finale!!!

  27. Look at you on Alltop. I had no idea you were FUNNY! 😉

    Kyla’s last blog post..Reader Rabbit

  28. Has no one else noticed the correlation between the word “mommyblogger” and “motherfucker”? Oh, it’s there, all right.

    DD’s last blog post..no. 612 – Several Notes of (Un)Importance

  29. Uh, Jenny – actually, you’ve been Kawasaki’d twice.


    Ed T.’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday meets the Texas Two-Step

  30. I came back to see a) what I wrote last night while under a “certain” influence and b) to read comments since I knew they’d outscorch your post (you gave us a lot to work with…).

    Lotta and BusyDad owe me a new laptop…I blew a nice combo of snot and coffee on it after reading what they said and it short-circuited the mutha….

    Robin’s last blog post..License to Limerick

  31. Even the “expression” on judgemental cat’s anthropomorphised “face” is telling. He’s got this narrowing to the eyes that says – “Hey Motherfucker, don’t fuck with my bladder, you bladder squeezing jackass.”

    I want to take him home.

    Kawasakied is a good word, I will never be that cool, but I have been bloggessed once or twice.

    Michael’s last blog post..TT – Bumper stickers piss me off.

  32. Hey, I think I know you well enough to know that you would never have written Beaver across your face unless you gave equal time to Wally. Because that would just be wrong.

    AB’s last blog post..Fresh Start

  33. I enjoy your posts about blogging. You have your hand on the pulse of the strange and wonderful world of blogging. And tragic cat stories.

    Bunny’s last blog post..Spirited

  34. OK, the cat thing made me snort my cereal milk out my nose. So thank you for that.

    Candy’s last blog post..Fresh Out of Funny

  35. You little slut. You got kawasakied twice. Congratulations!

    If you have a beaver on your face, you should be proud and put it where the world can see.

    How did I manage to miss that ad?

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..LOST Analysis

  36. holy crap! Best. Post. Ever. Congrats on kawasakification!

    anne nahm’s last blog post..You Can Tell I’m Nervous Because This Post Sucks

  37. Michael stole my word! I totally coined “Bloggessed”. I’m going to Urban Dictionary right now to copyright that mofo.

    PS Love the picture! You do look like an old Hollywood movie star, which means lover should be spelled “lovah”

    The Introvert’s last blog post..return of creepy myspace guy

  38. Last time I checked, beaver shouldn’t be written on your face…….

    Nikki’s last blog post..Do I really have to title this damn post?

  39. At least you are a chilled beever. You wrote “chilled” on your face, but it is spelled incorrectly, as “child.”

    Occidental Girl’s last blog post..Administration

  40. this has nothing to do with your cat or being a beever…

    you know how i talked about things i never knew existed until you came into my life? i can’t believe you never told me about these:

    and these:


    Biddy’s last blog post..I’ve always thought these look like milk trucks…

  41. If you wrote “beaver” on your face, did you also write “face” on your beaver?

    A shout out on the Bloggess!!?!?!?! I feel like I’ve been Kawasakied – only better. I’ve been Daisy Mae Perez-ed!

    preppygirl’s last blog post..Is It Wrong… ?

  42. Hell yeah, you’re slightly ahead of me. You’re the chick who writes “Beaver” across her face. Of course you’re ahead of me. In fact, I can’t believe they didn’t put you even higher.

    I feel Kawasakied by being a comparative point for the Bloggess. Thanks.

  43. Congrats on the double Kawasakification!!

    I snorted iced tea when I clicked over to furiousball’s picture that he did in honor of you.

    avonlea’s last blog post..Meltdowns and Wildflowers

  44. I never know what’s funnier- your posts or the comments. Either way, I get my giggles in (actually, I’m a snorter, but giggling sounds much nicer).

    Jenni’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday: Little Helpers

  45. Crawled out from under my rock the first time this week to discover your pussy is dead, you have beaver a beaver face and you’re advertising cunnilingus on fadiddle.

    I’m crawling back under my rock now, to go mourn the kitty’s loss but think of dirty things to do when my husband gets home next week…

    Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Nightmare on Redneck Road

  46. I so did not notice that ad next to your post about the cat. Seriously funny in a sick kind of way. Now off for a rag to clean the coffee off the computer screen that I spewed while reading this……….

    Lisa’s last blog post..Random ideas

  47. Aren’t all mommiebloggers already crazy? I’ve heard the kids and all that goes with it makes one that way, or at least that’s the “excuse” used. Assuming that’s the case, who cares if you want to advertise beavers on your face. Now, if you actually HAVE a beaver on your face, that could be real trouble. ;P

    The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Blog Party Across the WWW

  48. It’s ridiculous how much I love you people.

    A few responses:

    1. I know I’m from Texas but, no, that is *not* a bandana on my head. It’s part of my bellydancing costume from my days before Hailey. For real.

    2. Not sure if I’ll make it to Dallas for the Bossy party. Right now I’m saving up all my extra cash (and the 4 dollars I’ve made from ads) for Blogher. By the way, all of you need be at Blogher so we can mingle (drunkenly). FOUR DOLLARS!

    3. Furiousball – You spelled beaver wrong, cootchie-snorcher.

  49. Not to further poop on your party, but you also spelled “fiend” wrong. It’s called SpellCheck…use it. Sheesh.

    Missie’s last blog post..Sick Freak

  50. Love the head scarf! Very 1950s of you. Bellydancing or no bellydancing. HEY! I took a class in Montrose in the’90s. Maybe we ran into each other there. 😉

    I guess I’ve become a mommy blogger too! We RULE! Now that’s ’80s for you.

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Leftover PMS

  51. I would totally write “beaver” on my face.

    Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..Tax Season and Pee

  52. So let me understand this … you are NOT a beaver? Huh.

    But look at you all BFF with the motorcycle dude.

    Sandra’s last blog post..I Am Not An Aboriginal Woman

  53. you know, if you took that picture and wrote MOMMYBLOGGER across the top and made it a thumbnail, my guess is that it would take 24 seconds until half the internets had your picture displayed as a button on thier sidebars

    because you are just that cool 🙂

    Katy’s last blog post..Just a quick update

  54. So, it’s official. But the words “beaver” and “face” in the same sentence and you get my attention.

    Good to know.

    Mitch McDad’s last blog post..Sexy time

  55. better beaver than muskrat.

    Pamela’s last blog post..Pensieve’s Poetic License ~ Limerick

  56. Congratulations on being Kawasakied. Hallmark SO needs to make a card for that!

    beaver? dam! 😉

    simplypink’s last blog post..did hell freeze or something?

  57. Dude, how did I *not* notice the animal cruelty add. I’m so disappointed in myself. Sigh….

    LOVE that you’re on Alltop AGAIN! Is that too much pressure to be funny?

    Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..Shutter Sisters – The Daily Click

  58. OK, I can understand about the “beever” thing – but what’s with the “fried” label? Maybe you meant “fried beaver” and got them backwards, in addition to mis-spelling “beaver”? And why would you want to fry a beaver anyway – what have the beavers ever done to you?


    Ed T.’s last blog post..Cloudy skies, dark mood

  59. This comment is completely unrelated but thebloggess.com used to be my domain name in 2006. I let it lapse because I just wasn’t giving my blog the love it deserved. I’m glad someone is putting it to good use now. haha

    katherine’s last blog post..Extended Warranty – not worth it.

  60. For all the sad kitties and beavers everywhere…keep your head up. We are all only one squeeze or photoshop away from a different destiny:)

    This place cracks me up.

    Sara’s last blog post..The Pros and Cons of Dating a Pilot

  61. The thought of someone writing beaver accross their face got me to snicker out loud at work. Bravo! hahaha

  62. Jenny The Bloggess – that’s the way you’re supposed to spell if it’s your eyebrows

    furiousball’s last blog post..9!

  63. Loving the ad. That kitty is NOT happy with you.

    30andflirty’s last blog post..Sacramento Gets Hicktastic!

  64. Shit, I’ve never had a problem with the word beaver, though now, after this exchange about beaver and then imagining your face with beaver scrawled upon your temple, well, I’m afraid as my girls play with their beaver, gifted by our dearest boy-I-sure-do-love-being-a-lesbian friend, I’ll struggle doubly not to blush.

    amanda’s last blog post..Eliot, you broke my heart.

  65. At least it didn’t say “hairy beaver.” I hate that I remember stupid things from movies that I never intended to watch.

    And Jenny, you could blog about anything.

    Carrie’s last blog post..Just Like Them

  66. Okay, your blog is dangerous. I’m going to get sacked because I keep shrieking in hysterics re your added ‘don’t squeeze me’ line to poor animal shelter kitteh.

    CC’s last blog post..5 Things One Must do This Week Lest One Would Like a Spanking

  67. I’m thinking about buying things from *my own shop* because of the potential for oral.

    dude. how sad is that?

    lildb’s last blog post..blog poo.

  68. am i the only person who found the name Beaver Cleaver misogynistic in a not so subtle psychoslasher way. And what was with June and her “Pearl Necklace?” And a kid named “whitey?” was he that much more white then the rest of Mayfield? questions linger.

    pookie addams’s last blog post..celluloid

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