Xanax, a glass of wine and a long hot bath: the perfect
accidental suicide way to end the day.
PS. Why is it that some people kill themselves and don’t leave notes? It’s not like you’re in a hurry or anything. If I were to kill myself I would totally leave a note (unless I was in terrible pain from a cheetah attack) so if I die and there isn’t one then probably someone murdered me. I bet if I did write a suicide note it’d probably have a typo in it and I wouldn’t see it until right before the poison hit and I’d be all “Oh shit, wait..is that how you spell ‘repugnant’? Because that looks wrong” and that would totally be my last thought. I should look up repugnant now just to be on the safe side.
PPS. Speaking of misspellings, whenever I spellcheck my post and I don’t have typos my blog is like “DING! You Don’t Have Any Misspellings!” like it’s all shocked that I actually spelled shit right for once. It makes me feel kind of proud and insulted all at the same time.
In totally non-suicide-related news. Hubba Bubba is just not even trying anymore:
Way to phone it in, Hubba Bubba.
Comment of the day: The best way to off yourself would be to do it in some remote place. But then just before you take the big sleep come up with some super cool scavenger hunt and mail it to someone you really don’t like and promise them there would be a big prize at the end. Ta-da, it’s YOU! That would be the best last laugh in the history of the world. Not that I’m saying you should do that, but it would be totally awesome.
P.S. If you ever send me a scavenger hunt I’ll be totally on to you.
P.P.S. I had GLOP for dinner last night. It was supposed to be nachos. Either way, yummy. ~The Original Lisa
Alternate) comment of the day: So, if you overdosed on Xanax and wine in the bath, would that be OD’ing? Or drowning? And if a cheetah attacked you WHILE you were going under, what would THAT be? Because that stuff is really important to know. I mean, it goes on your death certificate and in the Wikipedia article about you. And “Cheetah Attack while Drowning due to Overdose” is way too long to be on a death certificate. I think I would have to set up some kind of Rube Goldberg contraption in order to off myself. Something like, you know, a ball rolls down a ramp made of Legos and hits a mouse in the butt which startles the mouse and makes it run on a wheel which powers a lighter where the flame burns through a piece of string that is attached to a mallet which knocks a toaster into the bathtub. Something like that. Because how awesome would that look on a death certificate?
Cause of Death: Rube Goldberged ~jm