Party like it’s 10 years ago (teaser #6)

Oh wait…no.  This one:

PS.  This post will not make sense to you at all unless you start here first and follow the breadcrumbs. And even then it probably won’t make much sense.  Unless you’ve been  reading me for over a year and then you’ll be all “Oh, I remember this.  Jenny drinking in the men’s bathroom and acting inappropriately in front of famous people.  Didn’t that end badly?”.  And yes.  Yes, it did.  More tomorrow.

PS.  I apologize to my amazing blogger cohosts for posting a completely inappropriate Prince badge in front of the one that was assigned to me but it’s much better than the one I was going to use, which is this picture of the most bad-ass tattoo in the history of the world

Honestly, that’s pretty much the best tattoo ever.  Especially when you’re sitting naked on the exam table and the doctor is all “We think you have colon cancer but I need to really get up in there to check”.  And your legs are all “IT’S TIME TO PARTY” and you’re all “Shut up, legs!”  Awesome.  You know what else is awesome?  When you’re supposed to write a two sentence teaser about a party and you end up blogging about colon cancer.  It’s like a gift.

Comment of the day: “Game: Blouses.” ~ WineWonkette

86 thoughts on “Party like it’s 10 years ago (teaser #6)

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Dude, if you don’t offer me a sip of your flask at BlogHer I’m never going again. Or anywhere for that matter. I will hole up in my apartment with my pug and drink myself to death. Only finding nourishment from Girl Scout Cookies.

    DO YOU WANT THAT ON YOUR HEAD?

    Sarah’s last blog post..Buzzing the Blog Giveway Winner

  2. if i come (and i’m coming!) will you share your confidence wig with me? because i’m lacking hair this year. except in the place where most of the internet wishes i was specifically lacking hair. i’ve plenty of hair, there. much to the dismay of the majority of my readers…or so they like to tell me!

    i’ll meet you in the bathroom. and i’m serious. i want to borrow the wig. my head needs coverage…even if the rest of me does not!

    nakedjen’s last blog post..All Those Obama Dollars

  3. A party with you would be worth it just to see who would show up and what went down…even if it’s in a random alley. With hobos. In dirt boxes. Because you are made of awesome. Therefore, they would be awesome hobos…I wonder what superpowers a hobo-hero might have? Hmm…

    Theo’s last blog post..…and so the nights fade to morning.

  4. I’m dizzy from the teaser trail… maybe it would have helped if I had a mojito in hand during my travels.

    Aren’t the best parties in the washroom?

    Chicago here I come…

    Karen MEG’s last blog post..Answer Period Part 1

  5. This is awesome! (and totally why I love you Jenny) And now I am sure you are all paranoid about me coming to the party because here I am professing my love to you in a post in which you were supposed to write a teaser for a party but ended up talking about colon cancer.

    Domestic extraordinaire’s last blog post..Weekly Winners

  6. I like how the comment I made previously makes no fucking sense. That tells everyone that I am in tune with the younger generation here on the internet and also that I’m probably drunk.

    Kurt’s last blog post..Memes The Word: Part II

  7. that would have been the most awesome tattoo, but there’s no apostrophe. where’s the apostrophe in “its”? that would annoy me if i was the surgeon going in for a look at the colon.

    heh. colon. apostrophe.

    ms. changes pants while driving’s last blog post..no result

  8. Damn it, you bitches are ruining my life by having BlogHer on the same weekend I am FLEEING THE COUNTRY for a year.

    (It has a more logical explanation than Organized Crime, but I prefer to remain mysterious and not explain that I’m going to be an au pair abroad.)

    “You bitches” = Blogher. ALL OF YOU.

  9. Man. I’m really starting to feel bad that I don’t have a blog or an awesome tattoo or pancakes.

  10. I ran thebloggess through this, just thought you might wanna know this before your next event.

    http://www.typealyzer.com/index.php?lang=en
    ESFJ – The Socializers

    The social and opinionated type. They are especially attuned to the feelings of themselves and others. They tend to be very aware of the values of their peer-group and tend to see things as either right or wrong, good or bad. They tend to be traditional and value their friends and family the most.

    The Socializers are down-to-earth, practical people and very keen on making sure everyone is alright. This quality makes them enjoy social work places. Since they enjoy being and keeping things neat and tidy, they often also enjoy working in such environments.

  11. Newborns are totally allowed and you will not be the only person in a sling there. Don’t eat any of the cookies though if you’re breast-feeding. Pot cookies are big with this crowd.

  12. RE: Akilah, I’ve been thinking about a tattoo of bubbles coming from my ass crack…heh.

    Somehow, knowing nothing about any of this post I didn’t find it confusing. And I think working colorectal exams into anything is funny, except bedtime.

    Marla’s last blog post..Fangs and Other Mutations

  13. yay! i’m so excited! this party was awesome last year and i can’t wait to go hump famous bloggers’ legs. or just shake hands, but that seems so… mundane.

    Lara’s last blog post..You Heard Nothing

  14. Whoa! Jenny is going to entertain me in the bathroom?!?!

    Talk about a dream come true!!!!

  15. Five more of the many situations ill-suited to having this tattoo:
    1) Doing the Walk of Shame through a frat house.
    2) Giving birth.
    3) Walking slowly towards the door of the workplace from which you’ve just been fired.
    4) Approaching the priest to receive the Eucharist.
    5) Requesting a substantial loan from the bank.

    LiteralDan’s last blog post..A conversation with M-: The wipe that shakes the barley

  16. If he’s checking for colon cancer, wouldn’t the tattoo be facing down? Seems like a butt in the air moment to me anyway. One of many…. Sorry, TMI.

  17. If I go, am I allowed to hang out in the women’s bathroom with you?

    P.S. I’m totally getting “Property of The Bloggess” tattood on my ass.

  18. from what I’ve heard (and it isn’t much since I’m a blogher outcast) you were the BEST AND ONLY attraction at the whole fucking event.

    what I wanna know is what are you going to do top it? because that’s how it works ya know. the bar is set. that’s why i’ve spent my entire life aiming low.

    oh and hey! wouldn’t it be cool if you could get that guy in the purple jacket to go as your escort … (no charge for greasing the old “how do I top myself” skids) …

    Kimberlee’s last blog post..into africa.

  19. I was so excited, because I thougt there might be pancakes somewhere in my office, cause Prince was all, “you want some pancakes Biatch?!” And I was like, “HELLS to the YEAH!” But then I find out it’s some drunken craziness where you wear wigs and the party follows you to the bathroom (the actual party, not the dude with the leg tatts). Well, fine. I can’t come. I’m all poor and stuff. Unless you’re serving pancakes… let me know. I might tap that.

  20. pancakes and colon cancer….you’re kinda like Jesus, you’ve got the bad shit but then you always make up for it in the end – the pancakes are kinda like easter…you know he was crucified (or colonoscopied) but then there’s a big fluffy bunny 3 days later handing out cadbury creme eggs (I’m sure that’s a historical fact)

    Hannah’s last blog post..Hamilton is pretty hot

  21. I think it’s amazing that you have enough confidence not to shave your tattooed legs. Good for you, Trailblazer!

  22. Can’t wait! This will be my first time! I’m a virgin!!! Come to think of it…it’s been well over 10 years since I could *really* say that!

    Cheers!

    Summer’s last blog post..Dream Fasting

  23. Some dude came to my college when I was a freshman, and gave some speech about this guy who got really drunk and agreed to have a penis tattooed on his forehead. He said the message of the story was that you shouldn’t drink to the point of bad decision-making, but I think the real message was more so that you should stay drunk so that you never realize you have a peenie on your face.

    carolinemichelle’s last blog post..This is why I’m fat, this is why I’m fat, this is why, this is why, this is why I’m fat…

  24. Just the missing apostrophe on “IT’S” is enough to make anyone smack him on the head with the keg tap and jam the bong up his ass.

    Is that guy a wedding planner?—-’cause this would explain a lot. . .

  25. Ya’ll bitches are playing tight with the info. You ARE all those names you got called in high school, teases! No matter, I’ll be there and I WILL punch you in the liver if you don’t hang out with me. There, I just laid it out like that. LIVER.

    Anissa@Hope4Peyton’s last blog post..The epitome of the mommyblogger

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