Victor says this conversation is about me “not being able to behave like an adult” but I’m pretty sure it’s about how he loves Hitler so damn much.

Conversation with my husband about Hitler:

Victor:  This house is a wreck.

me:  This house is a creative haven.

Victor:  No.  It’s just a wreck.

me:  Well, I don’t know why you’re telling me about it.  It’s not my job to clean the house.

Victor: Yeah, actually it is.  Remember?  You were going to quit your job and work on your book?  And clean the house.  And do the errands.  That was the deal, remember?

me:  Not really.  That doesn’t sound like a deal I’d make.

Victor: “I’m going to be the best housewife EVER.  I’ll just write and clean and cook.” Sound familiar?

me:  Fuzzy.  I was probably drunk when I said all that.

Victor:  “FREE BLOW JOBS FOR EVERYBODY!”

me:  Oh.  That does sound like something I’d say.  Are you mad about the blowjobs?

Victor: No.  I’m mad about the fact that we both work at home and that this home is a fucking wreck.

me:  It’s not that bad.  You’re over-reacting because you’re kind of an anal freak.

Victor:  You are using a frisbee as a plate.

me:  What? I’m not-oh hang on, this is a frisbee.  Weird.

Victor: *glare*

Me:  Dude.  I’ll wash it afterward. It’s probably dishwasher safe.

Victor:  It’s not about whether the frisbee is dishwasher safe.  It’s about the fact that you’re using a fucking frisbee to eat on because there are no clean plates.

me:  There are totally clean plates.  I just saw this on the counter and grabbed it.  Technically it’s a kick-ass plate.  It even has a lip on it so you don’t spill anything.

Victor:  How does this not bother you?!

me:  IT TOTALLY BOTHERS ME. I can’t believe I ever agreed to clean the house in exchange for quitting my job.  I can’t believe you’d even think that would work.  If anything you should have known better when you made that deal.  This is all sort of your fault.

Victor:  I’m going to strangle you.

me:  And I’m going to replace all our plates with frisbees.  Because I’m a visionary.

Victor:  I’m fucking serious.

me:  SO AM I.  THESE FRISBEE PLATES ARE AWESOME.  Besides, I don’t have time to clean because I’m busy doing social media stuff.

Victor:  What did you accomplish today?

me:  A lot.  Social media maven…stuff.

Victor: No.  What exactly did you do today?  Quantify it for me.

Me:  It’s not quantifiable.  There aren’t even metrics for the shit I do.

Victor:  Try.

me:  I re-watched the first season of Chad Vader.

Victor:  ?

me:  For research.

Victor:  The fuck?

me:  AND I did this doodle about Hitler.

bloggess hitler toon

Victor:  That’s…not even remotely funny.

me:  Dude, it’s totally funny.  You know? Because people always say ‘They only hate me because they’re jealous‘.  But then it’s Hitler and everyone really does hate him and isn’t jealous at all?

Victor:  Not funny.

me:  I think I just need drawing lessons.  It took me like two hours just to work out how to put a scarf on a stick figure.  And that’s why I didn’t have time to clean all the soup I spilled in the microwave.  By the way, don’t look in the microwave.

Victor:  I’m going to lie down until the urge to kill you passes.

Then he left and never came back.  And I had to clean the microwave because I’m responsible and also because it started to smell like clam chowder even in the bathrooms.  This is why it sucks to be me.  Also, I’m pretty sure that my husband is anti-Semitic.

PS.  Victor says that not laughing at a joke about Hitler doesn’t make you anti-Semitic but that’s I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what an anti-Semite would say.  They have terrible senses of humor.

Comment of the day: Your Hitler seems to be choking on a chicken bone. If that had happened to the real Hitler in the late 20’s so much could’ve been avoided. Of course then the Hitler jokes wouldn’t be as funny. ~ Carolyn Online

196 thoughts on “Victor says this conversation is about me “not being able to behave like an adult” but I’m pretty sure it’s about how he loves Hitler so damn much.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I’m going out, right this minute to buy some frisbees. And then, after dinner tonight, when we’re all sitting around the table looking for something to do, we can have contests to see who can toss their frisbees into the sink and actually make the shot! Wow, not only will be sharing a meal together, as a family, but we’ll be participating in a [semi] athletic event too!

    Jenny, you truly are a visionary! I thank you, my kids REALLY thank you and the dude who is going to be replacing all of our windows REALLY REALLY fucking thanks you!
    .-= Audrey at Barking Mad´s last blog ..Zombies Ate My Brain =-.

  2. Frisbee plates are probably the best invention ever. Once you’re done eating, you can rinse them off, and then dry them by tossing them around in the yard.

    IT TAKES CARE OF DIET AND EXERCISE AT THE SAME TIME. Sort of. Either way you’ll make millions.

  3. LOL That is just about how conversations with my husband go. As far as the frisbee goes I think it is a great idea. You should market the idea.!
    .-= Margaret´s last blog ..Need Help =-.

  4. I used to have this really awesome frisbee that had a metal disc in the center that was on ball bearings, so you could throw it up in the air and catch it on your finger and it would KEEP SPINNING. That was like, mind-blowing as a 12 year old. Also you could probably eat off of it. But no soups or anything, that would probably drip through the little cracks and get all messy. SO maybe look for ones that aren’t as awesome as the spin frisbees.

  5. FYI– our fave seafood shack on Cape Cod serves the kids’ meals on frisbees, so you’re onto something there!

  6. the scarf is AWESOME! just perfect. my friend nikki told me that’s the new trend. a scarf to replace your top. like you just place a scarf over your boobs, belt it in place and you’re good to freaking go! how cool is that? and now i see stick figures are doing the same thing.

    you *are* a visionary. and i think victor just may be the hilter to your millions of “jews” like as in your awesome frisbee plate ideas are jews and victor is all “i will holocaust you frisbee plates!” watch out because he probably tried to put it in the oven. frisbees melt in the oven.
    .-= mylittlebecky´s last blog ..eHow to swear =-.

  7. There used to be these microwaveable dinners that came on little hard plastic dishes. I somehow ended up with a collection. Those little bastards are indestructible! Unlike plastic margarine bowls, knives won’t hurt them and it’s hard for guests to guess what they are. I dunno about Frisbees. They’re kinda big.

  8. Ummm…I think we’re like, related in some weird way…like that really complicated string theory…the one where…yea, nevermind. I don’t have a fucking clue…

    My point…apparently I also made a deal like that a few months ago…though I’m starting to believe my “duty” list has grown exponentially…just today I got yelled at for not SQUEEZING OUT THE DAMN KITCHEN SPONGES.

    Because, you know, since I’m home, that’s also my responsibility…and it’s WAY TOO DIFFICULT A CHORE for someoe who has a “real” job.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..i hate crucks. they look like aliens. =-.

  9. So look. It’s really crucially important that there be pictures of victor, somewhere, so 1) we know he’s real (sorry Jenny, love you!) and 2) because if he is and he’s cute as well as this smart and funny and, erm, patient, then we know he deserves you. But also 3) because I’m nosy as hell and so is the rest of your army. So throw the minions a bone?
    .-= Bekka´s last blog ..Jewelry =-.

  10. Shit. I totally forgot about you trying to get us all to give free blow jobs. We don’t really have to do that though, right?

  11. Jenny, you make me feel so much better about myself for so many reasons one of which being that you post things like this and make me feel not so alone for being a Stay-at-Home-Orderliness-Destroyer.

    I can’t tell you how many times I *intend* to straighten up or wash the dishes or clean the meat juice that I spilled two weeks ago off the floor (which still definitely hasn’t happened) but then I get distracted by the internet or doing whatever it is I do (it has to be something…, right?) and pretty soon Boyfriend gets home and says “what happened to our house????” And I don’t have an answer for him because I honestly don’t know what I did to make it so messy.

    And though I have never eaten off of a frisbee, I have eaten off of a piece of cardboard that I cut out of one of our moving boxes with a bread knife. That’s recycling.

    In regards to the Hitler cartoon: 1.) Her skirt is very pretty 2.) why is Hitler naked? 3.) How is it that Victor did not understand this? It’s brilliant! Just tell him that your sense of humor is too advanced for him and that someday you’ll be considered a genius like Andy Kaufman (who no one understood for a very long time and then suddenly they were like “oh, i get it!” and he is now considered a comedic genius.)
    .-= Allie´s last blog ..I Would Have Gone to Therapy a Lot Sooner If I’d Known it Would Give Me Superpowers =-.

  12. DON’T EVER MICROWAVE THE FRISBEE.

    I have it on good authority that kind of thing doesn’t go well at all. Not even a little bit.

  13. Wow – now when my other half starts banging on about how “it’s my job to do the housework” and how I’m really crap at it (well – it doesn’t stay done for 5 minutes) I will look at him all confused and say “Oh shit, I must have been channelling Jenny the Bloggess again. Ps I’ll take you up on the blow job because, yeah, I’m desperate and you’re cute.

  14. My husband works from home and I totally expect him to clean all the time.

    So I call him every five minutes. The conversation goes like this:
    “Are you cleaning?”
    “No, I’m working. Leave me alone.”
    “But are you cleaning?”
    “No, I’m making money for a living so I can support your ass.”
    “But are you washing the dishes?”

    It’s no wonder I come home feeling a little anti-Semitic, and he does, too. And we’re both Jews.
    .-= Vicki´s last blog ..Turkmen rap about Palestinians =-.

  15. Jews.

    If I left that statement, just like that, perhaps added a knowing nod to every one in the room before walking away–that would sound anti-Semitic.

    Let your hubby know.

  16. Welp. This post hit home pretty hard. Just showed it to my husband who didn’t say anything. He just shook his head slowly.

  17. Your Hitler is choking on a chicken bone. If that had happened to the real Hitler in the late 20’s so much could’ve been avoided. Of course then the Hitler jokes wouldn’t be funny.

  18. I am deeply grateful for your gift of the phrase, “This house is a creative haven.” It will be my pat answer to every unreasonable demand for order and serenity. Screw all that! And incidentally, there is no quantitative measure for the creative ferment. You are correct, Madame! It’s a random brew.

  19. “It’s not quantifiable. There aren’t even metrics for the shit I do.”

    That is the quote of my week…and it’s only Tuesday. You rule! And I am totally using this in my performance review…

  20. Are you sure it’s clam chowder that you are smelling in the bathroom – or is Victor trying to poison you? Just sayin’….I would be careful. In addition, I’m pretty sure that Martha Stewart would find eight non-matching frisbees at the dining table shabby-chic…
    .-= Minivan Soapbox´s last blog ..Get It To Go =-.

  21. Victor, oh Victor. He is always threatening to kill you.
    That man has real “follow thru” issues.

    p.s. I’m glad he is all bark and no bite, because I’d really miss you. 🙂

    Dana
    .-= Dana´s last blog ..Local Flava! =-.

  22. When I was a kid, there used to be this restaurant, and they had pizza on their kids’ menu of course. The pizza was like a little personal-sized pizza and it was served on a standard-size frisbee that was printed with the restaurant’s name that you could keep when you went home. I don’t even remember what restaurant that was, but it was awesome.
    .-= Amy.´s last blog ..Okay, Stupid. =-.

  23. So Victor’s not getting the blow jobs and that’s why he’s upset?

    He’s just using the mess as an excuse?

    Diabolical!

    I don’t even know what this comment means…

    Love the doodle!
    .-= Kevin´s last blog ..Grains of Salt =-.

  24. Yeah — pretty much the only reason I still go to work is so that i have a good excuse to NOT clean my house. “Dammit man I worked all day! Wash your own frisbee”

  25. I ate over an old plastic bag today so that I wouldn’t have to clean a plate. I am fairly certain that this is a sign of creative genius. And success. And being really environmentally friendly, because it uses less water and reuses garbage.
    .-= schmutzie´s last blog ..The Curse Of The Smiley =-.

  26. I am kind of afraid of and totally fascinated by the prospect of your book. Seriously. I think it is going to be full of the most fucking absurd illustrations I have ever been witness to. In the best way possible.

    I will be requiring that you autograph my frisbee.
    .-= flutter´s last blog ..He =-.

  27. You are a famous bloggess AND you were killed with a cleaver this weekend. Does he think these things happen all by themselves? Cripes, nothing will please that man, will it? You’re a saint, Jenny. A saint!
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..New Diamond =-.

  28. He lies down until the urge to kill passes, I lie down until the urge to clean passes. I’m less homicidal AND less lazy. All because I’m terrible at cleaning.

  29. Your husband sounds just like my botfriend.

    I tell him all the time that if he would make enough money to support the 3 of us, than I will stay home and do all the house work and he will never have to worry about a mess again. For some reason he never believes me. Probably because there is always a sink full of dishes when he gets home. But I make all the money so I really shouldn’t have to clean, right?
    .-= OhSweetSara´s last blog ..If Only I Could Afford A Roomba =-.

  30. This totally sounds like a scene from my life. Apparently I’m supposed to be productive too?? I mean WTF?! That gets in the way of doing important things like watching The Best of Michael Jackson DVD, and trying to learn how to do Thriller. I’m totally almost there…
    .-= The Undomesticated Housewife´s last blog ..All The Single Ladies =-.

  31. Just tell Victor he’s lucking fucky that you didn’t stay home to become a cartoonist. Wow, did you notice, as you drew it, that your chickie in the cartoon has ginormous feet and Adolf Hitler / Charlie Chaplin / Oliver Hardy has little, tiny, petite almost invisible feet… and two fingers… and no hat?
    .-= mrsbitch´s last blog ..White House counter-punch. =-.

  32. frisbee plates are the best idea EVER. ever. unless you have a talented frisbee dog. then mealtimes could get really messy, with the dog doing backflips and flinging dinner all over everywhere.

    it would be so worth the mess though. and it would be HUGE on youtube.
    .-= dotlizard´s last blog ..perhaps i am the only one … =-.

  33. I really like the doodle. My favorite thing is the printing. The girl’s script is different than Hitler’s script. And the caption is really neatly done. Jenny either was a very conscientious student in Kindergarten through 3rd grade OR she spent four (or more) years getting a bachelor’s degree in elementary education. I definitely say that the doodle was at least a days worth of serious creative work. Artists should not be wasting time on cleaning and cooking.

  34. Frisbee. There is NO END to your genius. Seriously. And tell Victor the maid is coming. Once she stops screaming like I lit her hair on fire from being over at my hovel house trailer I’m sure by then your house, even smelling like clam chowder, will seem like the best job she’s ever had…EVER. Then you’ll have more time for booze and blow jobs and Chad Vader and all that being a blogging goddess entails…

    You and Victor are both welcome. It’s the least I could do for the comment on my blog. I’d offer you something more practical like a body part, but I think I’m falling apart faster than a K-Mart sweater, so not offering is much kinder. Again, you’re welcome.
    .-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Bowing to The Bloggess and My Not So Grey’s ER Visit =-.

  35. LOVE the “HATE = JEALOUS” Hitler cartoon. Somehow I know what/who that references. LMAO! You freakin’ rock!

  36. A frisbee plate really is a great idea. I kind of wish I had thought of that. I suck at inventions.

    Nice Hitler drawing, by the way. I think you really captured his essence in the moustache.
    .-= Natalie´s last blog ..An Amazing Discovery =-.

  37. Why can’t we just eat on the counter and squeegee it off when we’re done? Except for Manhattan clam chowder, of course, we would need frisbees for that.

  38. I wonder if Victor is still laying down…. Good stuff as always. I really think that you should just post conversions between you and Victor because seriously they are really fucking funny. It could be like an awesome screen play, that Matt Damon would kill to make into a movie. the movie would be about a math genius or in this case an art genius that eats off frisbees and has a non-working snowcone machine in her bedroom like some crazy rap artist, an instant classic to be sure.
    .-= Eric´s last blog ..BWCA re-cap… =-.

  39. A Frisbee….for a plate??? Oh my god you just changed my life forever. Whenever we run out of plates, regular plates, I have to resort to trying to fit our whole dinner on those little tea plates (which always ends in a big mess) and Geoff tells me I’m ridiculous and lazy. But! He loves frisbees and has a lot of them so this will be perfect! When he tells me I’m being ridiculous and lazy I can tell him that NO actually I was just thinking of him and his love for frisbees and was trying to help him incorporate frisbees into every part of his life and isn’t he just ungrateful? Thank you.
    .-= Jen @ lifelove’n’wine´s last blog ..Pin the Pfft! on the Old Fart and other Maine Tales =-.

  40. Husbands are inherently unfair. For example, my husband says it’s my responsibility to take care of the remains of the flaming bag of poo that appeared on my steps two nights ago just because I happened to request on twitter that someone leave a flaming bag of poo on my steps so that I’d have something to write about. I don’t see how the two things are related. My husband must love Hitler.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Holy Flaming Crap, I love whoever did this. =-.

  41. LOL! I’m with Andrea…when I think of frisbees I think of chew marks and dog slobber too. Ha!

    This was hilarious though……Blowjobs for everyone!!! 🙂
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..?Day One. =-.

  42. I believe I had the conversation that would eventually lead up to THIS conversation with my husband a few months back. I told him that I would clean the house everyday, take care of the kids, prepare dinner EVERY night, and give him at least a blowjob everyday, if now actual sex. Unfortunately, he didn’t fall for it. Probably because he forsaw THIS conversation happening soon after quitting my job. Thanks for ruining my chances, bloggess. 🙂
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..Again! Again, Mommy! =-.

  43. My husband is a student. does one unit. (1/4) load. I work 4 days per week, he works 16 hrs per week. today he got angry because I hadn’t gone to the shop to by cigarettes. (We both smoke) i know just cos I was drinking a glass of wine today when he came home he thought i’d done Fu.k all however, there were two previous work days that he had NOTHING ON, when he must have realised that we were running low. do i feel bad Fu.k NO!

    (oh oh and on my day off from work i worked. also on my day off from work i strung up solar lights and sowed 30 different kinds of seed (all edible) so i can FEED us.

    they have no idea

  44. I believe I had the conversation that would eventually lead up to THIS conversation with my husband a few months back. I told him that I would clean the house everyday, take care of the kids, prepare dinner EVERY night, and give him at least a blowjob everyday, if not actual sex. Unfortunately, he didn’t fall for it. Probably because he forsaw THIS conversation happening soon after quitting my job. Thanks for ruining my chances, bloggess. 🙂

  45. Did you know you can fit 4 cans of beer into one frisbee? Frisbees also make wonderful jello shot holders….Just in case you feel like seriously pursuing using frisbees as plates/cups/bowls I thought that you should know the full extent of there awesomeness!

  46. You should make promotional Bloggess frisbee/plates. Then Victor can’t complain because they’re *promotional*.

  47. Not sure about eating off a Frisbee–though I have no aesthetic or health-related objections–but my second-oldest son recently informed me that Frisbees are excellent for drinking beer. He’s on the Ultimate Frisbee team at college where their Sunday afternoon practices are SD (Sobriety Discouraged) and they’ve discovered you can fit five beers in a Frisbee though the only reason five fit is because “it sticks to the rim” (he’s majoring in physics so that’s obviously a technical explanation). He says four beers are a much better fit. Ultimate Frisbee indeed.
    .-= Masked Mom´s last blog ..Biopsy Performed By That Dude From The Frat House Down The Street =-.

  48. The cartoon is super funny. I also agree that you should make commemorative Bloggess Frisbee Plates. They could be collectible like those freaky Elvis plates my grandmother used to have but less creepy. Hopefully.
    .-= Vikki´s last blog ..Bear with me =-.

  49. first of all, i LOVE the idea of frisbees for plates. you are brilliant, i guess.
    and the whole hitler thing. i dunno. dude, so not funny. but your drawings are cute. love the little scarf on the stick figure.
    as for your husband. just do what i do when my husband asks what i’ve done all day. ignore him. then maybe give him a blow job. he won’t bother you for a couple of days.
    ok, just sayin.
    .-= melissa´s last blog ..Maybe It’s Just The Weather =-.

  50. don’t they realize how much time and energy takes to be a creative mind? Who has time leftover for things like keeping a house clean…and washing dishes? I hear it all the time but the fact is, he does a better job cleaning. I just get distracted by my totally visionary and revolutionary thoughts!
    .-= jenn murphy´s last blog ..squash soup =-.

  51. Thank you so much for introducing frisbees as dinner plates! What a fabulous idea, especially for the little ones. They are going to throw the plate on the floor anyway and now it won’t break! Brilliant I say. I thought your post was quite funny and Victor needs to sharpen his sense of humor.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  52. Dude! We actually recommend frisbees as plates for our Boy Scouts! Eat lunch on it, then use it for an after-lunch game. Less weight to carry and it has a better chance of getting washed. Because, seriously, who wants to play with a dirty frisbee?

  53. I’m quitting my job immediately to design a complete line of fine dining frisbees. Millions of forward-thinking couples will be registering their patterns at Sports Authority. You really are changing the world, one fucked up idea at a time.

  54. I need to send my sister over to your house. I had to finally call someone to come clean my house because I was out of clean dishes, clothes and too damn tired to clean anything myself! I still manage to get to work every day (unbelievably so) I get home tired, hungry and feeling like shit, just to find that my house is still a wreck. Lupus gets in the way of everything…so Victor should just do all of you a favor and call someone to come clean the house for you because after all, even if you are at home working, you’re still working, right?! I only paid my sister $60 and she did a damn good job!
    .-= Violet´s last blog ..Bad Days and Good Days =-.

  55. Frisbee plates – what a great idea. Then after we are finished eating, we’ll just toss them off the deck and I won’t ever have to wash another plate again. Brilliant. Do you think frisbee knives would work?
    .-= Mountain Momma´s last blog ..Best Worst Gift Ever =-.

  56. Just keep in mind that even if you use frisbees for plates they still have to be cleaned too. This is why I use paper plates as frisbees. My dog is just going to chew the shit out of it instead of bringing it back anyway. The fucker.

  57. 1. I had clam chowder for dinner yesterday too. But I wasn’t as remotely as productive as you were. Probably because my microwave was clean. Duly noted.
    2. IF Victor also works from home, why are you the one expected to do all the cleaning stuff?
    3. Frisbees as plates are a big part of this famous chain restaurant down in North Carolina. Was it called Dirty Dicks Crab or something? “I’ve got ma crabs at Dirty Dick’s” I believe is their tagline.
    4. “Reuse” to save earth. Tell Victor, “Earth first!” He is probably an earth hater.
    5. The cartoon is great. I am falling in love with the girl in a scarf and poodle skirt.
    6. LOL @ your Hitler joke.
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Tis almost Halloween. Do you know where your costume is? Let Zoltar inspire you… =-.

  58. This is why I come here….you make me laugh out loud, so much so that my family thinks I’m nuts cracking up at a computer screen. And you have similar conversations with your husband – only you tell it much better than I could! You ARE a visionary!
    .-= Jane´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – First Fishing Trip =-.

  59. It’s true about anti-Semites having bad senses of humor, I mean look how humorless Hitler was. See now I’m probably going to Hell for that joke. I hope you are happy about sending me to Hell. I’m sure it was exactly the point of this post, then again I make everything about me so I’m pretty sure the stick figure girl in your drawing is me going to a sock hop ala Betty Sue Got Married. Alright I’m going to stop writing now…before I really say something stupid.
    .-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..Ralph Lauren Model Fired For Being Too Fat =-.

  60. Wait…do people NOT eat off of frisbees? I thought everyone did that…(slowly lowering my frisbee of rice and chicken.) Damnit.
    Anyway, you are amazing and hilarious and screwed up in the most awesome ways. You are totally my blog heroine (both the female hero and the drug. You’re totally a 2-for-1. A 2-fer. Awesome!) so I wanted to give you another award. Hopefully, this time you can figure out my website lol
    Check out your award at http://whatswrongwithmommy.blogspot.com/2009/10/yay-i-got-me-award-j-lovely-mrs.html
    .-= Jeniel´s last blog ..I Feel So Loved! =-.

  61. Frisbee plates rock. I used one for a plate when I went camping. Totally normal.

    Love the pic of Victor and the bebe. Very cute. Both of them. Well, she’s actually cuter than him but its cute that he’s fishing with her.
    .-= peedee´s last blog ..NSFW – OMG =-.

  62. I know I’m late commenting, but I’ve only just found your blog.
    Loved your conversation. Sounds just like me and my hubby.

  63. Totally got the ‘toon! And your drawing is adorable, too.

    You know, I’ve been working from home for a couple of weeks now and my house still looks like crap. It would just feel weird to be cleaning my house when I’m getting paid to work from home. Oh, I’ve done a few things here and there, but on my time not my employers’.

    Still it would be totally awesome to get paid for cleaning my own house!
    .-= tokenblogger´s last blog ..Barking Lily! =-.

  64. Anti Semitism coupled with AntiFrisbeeism = AntiHealthCareReform.
    ( I have been following C-Span very closely lately)

    You shouldn’t take this shit from Victor. Get him to change his name to Loser.

    . . . . that should do it.

  65. All my bloggy friends keep talking about the amazing Bloggess, but I’ve never been here before today. I don’t know why. I’m glad I finally got off my lazy ass and strolled over. I’m only jealous of Hitler because he’s going to be famous, like, forever — long after everyone’s forgotten about Oprah even.
    .-= XUP´s last blog ..Cosmic Birthday =-.

  66. Here I was, thinking I wasted all morning trying to get “mandatory sex party” to go viral because you made me get addicted to http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ and she made me do it, and then I checked some blogs, and then I looked at Twitter, and I stopped in at Facebook to see what my homies were up to and maybe some coworkers and a couple people I met in the park a few years ago before we moved across the country and our mailman, and then I made a mocha and checked on some blogs I had already read, and then I looked at your blog roll. That’s when I realized I don’t have a problem and I started to feel better about how I spent my morning. Do you really read all those blogs? You don’t have time to clean the house. Hire a maid, damn it.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..Mandatory Sex Party =-.

  67. This morning at work, someone tried to throw a chair at my head (I think they hate me because they’re jealous of my Hitler moustache). Then I spent all afternoon in the hospital with my son and his unusual genitalia. When I got home I discovered you had visited my blog. Thanks. It was a bright spot in my otherwise unpleasant day……….

  68. If we were neighbors we could toss frisbees over the fence to each other, which would be a neighborly way of sharing dishes. I also think that we would be widows because our husbands would lose it. Sometimes I cry when I read your blog b/c we are soul sisters. Awesome!

  69. Oh my god, I need a moment to stop laughing – that was awesome! Frisbee as a plate? Ingenious! And if you have a dog you can simply take the frisbee and the leftovers outside and wham bang thankyou ma’am it becomes an instant game PLUS dinner! Or am I overthinking this?
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..10 Things I Hate About Dress Shopping =-.

  70. I only read through about half the comments so forgive me if someone later mentioned this, but I was shocked when missing in the comments was this question? Why the hell doesn’t HE clean the house? Why is it only your responsibility? Doesn’t he live there too? This really steamed me up.

  71. Oh, and before you answer that you made some kind of lame promise to be the best housewife if you quit your job that STILL does not mean that you should be the only one to clean house. Everyone who lives there should be part of that endless, thankless, Sisyphean task no matter who works where. So, if everyone had been doing their part your house wouldn’t be wrecked now would it? I just hate when all the guilt for the state of the house is put on the woman. HATE IT!

    He who bitches about the state of the house better be loading the dishwasher as they bitch. Otherwise the effing war is ON. Sorry for the rant but this subject really gets to me quick.

  72. And ummm, I’m not trying to start trouble or anything, but I just checked out the pic of Victor, and it looks to me like he may be Sense of Humor Intolerant. They don’t have help like Lact-aid for that, so you’re set for blog material forever… Annnndddd, bonus! If you ever draw a Hitler mustache on Victor with a Sharpie pen, to teach him an Anti-Semitic lesson; you both work from home, so it’d be cool. At least that’s what I’d tell myself if I were you. (if he really flipped out about it, you could always add a Vincent Van Gogh beard to SAVE FACE) Sorry, I am so channeling my father’s sense of humor tonight.
    .-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Hey Today Show and Neiman Marcus, Kiss My Po’ A** =-.

  73. Ah, Grasshopper, the trick is to always have at least enough clean dishware and flatware to make it appear that all the dishware and flatware is being cleaned regularly and to keep the counter tops relatively clear. Illusion is the key to housewife success. It’s the appearance. Not the reality.

    Also, having allergies is good because then you really can’t handle cleaning products (even the green ones) and he has to do the yukky bathroom stuff, so that horror is never your fault.
    .-= annie´s last blog ..Mommy Wars: This is Why Women aren’t Equal =-.

  74. ok seriously, how the fuck do you come up with this stuff? Too funny. I think frisbee plates should be the new must-have on wedding registries. Great for kids too and could make for a good game to get them to finish their meal. First to finish gets to throw their “plate” on the floor or across the room!
    Oh and by the way, I’m Jewish and think your hitler joke is hilarious.
    .-= becca´s last blog ..Thanks for listening =-.

  75. My proudest moment as a mother came from my son’s weird fascination with Hitler (photographic proof: http://is.gd/4mK1Y). I don’t know where he gets it. My boyfriend says it’s because we hate Jews and have swastika-themed Christmas trees, but you know kids, it could be anything.
    .-= Snotty McSnotterson´s last blog ..Lucky Pants =-.

  76. I’m no fan of housework (even though technically it has become my job), but let’s be honest you can dishes only so many times before the novelty wears thin.

    I love your frisbee plate idea 🙂
    .-= Lea White´s last blog ..What a tough week! =-.

  77. So, first of I bow to your humour…no one gets “the pragmatic thinker”..I think you’re a hoot!! 2nd, the blowjob for life deals are always a common deal that men can’t resist, but really, women must have been drunk while making that deal..because let’s face it…what is in that for us???? we dont get our faces all dolled up to look like a friggen mime after a fun night of “lick the lollypop” and really, if I wanted puffy lips I would go a la angelina and get collagin injections…not ___! Lastly, I have also neglected the matronly duties as I was off work for a month because of the end of my mat leave for kid #3 in 4 years and I had my tubes tied…stupid me for not keeping my end of the deal up; so what do i do for payback???? i ‘ll tell you what i did…i dressed up my kids as dishwashers from a restauant (it helps that hubby is a chef and we have the uniforms) and sent them to work…he asked me ifI had the kids on ebay but that just lead to another issue on its own!! keep up the entertainment…
    .-= Danon Pascoa´s last blog ..ExHotGirl are you Hailey Mills twin? =-.

  78. I totally need to try frisbees…I am the same way and what I tell my husband is “I wasn’t fucking Betty Crocker when you married me, so what makes you think I would be fucking Betty Crocker now?” Um…I do not mean fucking (as in the action) Betty Crocker but like I’m fucking Betty Crocker. Okay I guess you’d have to be here to hear me say it because it still doesn’t sound right. I think you know what I mean though…I’m not into fucking imaginary chicks…not that there is anything wrong with that. Although, was Betty Crocker a real person? hmmmm. Anyway, I have a present for you on my blog…hop on over to grab it. I’m not fucking Little Miss Suzie Homemaker either.
    .-= Grace Matthews´s last blog ..I Do Declare! =-.

  79. There’s a very logical solution to this problem. Just give your husband that free blow job you promised, and he’ll forget everything. Even the frisbee thing. And the hitler thing. Promise.
    .-= Hippo Brigade´s last blog ..These things I know. =-.

  80. Okay, Your Bloggessness, Oh Bloggy One… Jenny.
    Okay, Jenny.

    I don’t really have time to read the other 174 comments that went before me, but did you point out to Victor that he lives and works in the same house as you and is completely capable of using the mop as well? Maybe it didn’t occur to him that working at home is WORK just at home. 🙂

    Anyway, also, I totally think you should check this out because it’s AWESOME. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4O68kUj5c&feature It’s about Clitter!

    I also was very touched by your blog about your anxiety. If I were lucky enough to go out to a restaurant with you, I would want to have your special rolling computer chair nearby so that when the fog surrounded you and started choking off your breath I could throw you on the chair thingy and we would roll away to freedom, my friend. Let any bitches stare ’cause we’d totally bust through the restaurant doors on our way to wherever the fuck we wanted. Cause you’re that cool.

  81. I bow to the genius that is The Bloggess. Have you considered a career as an artist? Artists make a lot of money. Just ask Vincent Van Gogh, Picasso, etc. Well, except they are dead. But I think they are smiling down on you from Artist Heaven.
    .-= lorrie´s last blog ..Might As Well Jump =-.

  82. Obviously Victor was never a frat boy or he would see the genius behind frisbee plates. Sit down to a nice meal from the microwave (Not homecooked or anything because you are social media mavin DAMMIT!) and then you are ready for a quick game of ultimate frisbee. We need to work on Victor’s creative vision.

  83. Hate to break it to you, but camping types have been eating off frisbees for, like, decades. I’m not sure if my husband ate off anything else for about five years in his 20s.

    I’m definitely using your “creative haven” line soon! Thanks!
    .-= Edgy Mama´s last blog ..Area parenting events on my page =-.

  84. I am sure that my husband and I have had that conversation. Except without being as witty. Also, Frisbee plates really do make perfect sense. Why aren’t they at Target?

  85. LOLZ at the picture. V true. I’m sure hitler had that exact conversation with some tart wearing a scarf, but no shirt!!!

  86. is this?! “Social Media stuff” that’s a fucking dumb expression for “I’m a lazy fuck who dunno how to work a real job, so i pretend to be doing something important by blogging” you are a fucking idiot

  87. “I’m going to lie down until the urge to kill you passes.”

    Hil-ar-rious!

    P.S. Cartoon is cool – no drawing lessons required 🙂

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