(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton

Dear Wil Wheaton,

Hi.  I’m sure you must be very confused about my insistent tweets asking for a picture of you collating, and about the fact that the I Blame Wil Wheaton shirt was given an award for being one of the most viewed shirts on zazzle.

First of all, let me assure you that I do not actually blame you.  I blame your secretary.  Or whoever is in charge of sending out photos of you collating papers.  She should probably be fired.

Secondly, I’m pretty sure that you haven’t sent me a picture yet because you’re not sure what I’m going do with it and that is a totally fair question and one I’d be asking myself if a sex worker was asking me for a picture of me collating paper.  In fact, I’d probably suspect that “collating paper” was code for some kind of weird sex act.  Like, remember back before the internet was invented, when “laying cable” just meant you were laying cable?  Me either.  But I assure you, “collating paper” here just means collating paper.

You probably don’t read my blog so I should explain that the reason I need a picture of you is because I constantly get emails from PR people offering me pictures of celebrities using whatever bullshit product I don’t actually care about and I’d like it to stop.  Most recently I wrote about my interactions with PR people who wanted to send me photos of Lou Diamond Phillips holding water, and of Selma Blair wearing a scarf.  (This is all true). I still get these emails daily and my plan is to get a picture of you collating paper so that when they offer me a picture of “Harry Connick Jr. standing next to yarn” I can say “Thanks.  Here’s a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper” and then they’ll be like “Um…why would I want a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper?” and I can be like, “EXACTLY.”  It wouldn’t actually stop PR people from emailing me thousands of pictures of people-with-things but I’d at least feel better about it.

Hugs,

Jenny

PS.  It’s totally okay if you don’t want to send me a picture at all because years ago you commented on a post I wrote for a blog that doesn’t even exist anymore and now you get a pass for pretty much anything.  You wrote “Now you can scratch one off”.  I know because I kept the notification.  I can’t actually remember what the post was about but I’m fairly certain your response, though brief, was totally apropos.  Also, I emailed you to make sure it was really you and you responded: “It’s me”.  Seven characters.  It’s pretty clear you had a talent for twitter before it was even invented.

PPS.  I had the maid proof-read this and she just pointed out that “laying cable” is not a sexual euphemism at all and I was like “Who’s the sex worker here, lady? They sent me to Japan to write about sex ponies so I’m pretty sure I’m the expert here” but then I looked it up and it turns out that “laying cable” is code for taking a long, unbroken poop.  Apparently I was confusing “laying pipe” with “laying cable”and I’ve been saying it wrong for pretty much my entire life.  Awesome. Plus, now the maid is claiming that “writing about sex doesn’t make you a sex worker” so I had to pull up the pictures of me in the sex dungeon for proof and she was all “You’re fully clothed” and I was like “I think I have a picture of me naked in here somewhere” and then my husband walked in and was all “Why is no one working in here?” and I was like “Do you know where those pictures are of me naked but covered with hamburgers?” and the maid was like “It doesn’t count if you’re covered with hamburgers” and then Victor said that from now on I’m not allowed to be in the house on days when the maid comes.  Because apparently he doesn’t want me to have friends.

PPPS.  I found the hamburger pictures.  You don’t have to look at them though.  They’re really more for the maid, who I’m not allowed to talk to anymore.  I don’t blame you though.  I blame Victor.

UPDATED:

WIL WHEATON IS A GOLDEN GOD.

Reason #307 why I love the internet.

Updated again:  It would be selfish to keep this to myself.  This page is for you.  You’re welcome, world.

405 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Thank you for allowing me to feel like I’m high even though I’m sitting here in my cubicle, stone-cold sober.

    Daddy Scratches recently posted I have figured out The Best iPhone-to-Flickr-to-Twitter Workflow Ever- and you should listen to me- because I know everything.

  2. Maybe you should trade the pictures of Lou Diamond Phillips and Selma Blair with With Wil Wheaton, it’ll be your own version of celebrity pokemon cards.

  3. Why do you assume Wil Wheaton’s secretary is a “she”? Way to be racist, Jenny.

    Backpacking Dad recently posted Are You Afraid Of Drinking Tap Water You Should Be….

  4. The most distressing part of all of this, for me, is that I have no earthly idea who Wil Wheaton is.

    Jenny Grace recently posted Try something new- because it probably wont kill you.

  5. I’m going to RT this blog post daily until Wil Wheaton gives you what you want (and deserve). This is a totally logical and acceptable request.

    Gretchen recently posted No Thank YOU- Charlie Sheen- you lion-blooded Warlock- you.

  6. Oh, Jenny. How long till your maid takes out a restraining order, and you have to move out of the house every time she comes cleaning?

  7. Your PPS. Oh God. Let me just go read it again.

    Gen recently posted The Smell of Freedom.

  8. I have my fingers crossed that Will Wheaton reads this post and sends you another comment. Or better yet, a picture of himself collating papers.

    Sarah recently posted Boy Dreams.

  9. Enough is enough. His free pass should have expired by now, and it’s time for him bring something new to the table. Pictures of him collating aren’t too much to ask. It’s not like you asked for pictures of him stapling, for Christ’s sake.

    Tershbango recently posted Great Expectations.

  10. There are days when I need your insanity. Today is one of them.

    Thanks for being a nutter I can enjoy Jenny. It’s a public service, really.

    Redneck Mommy recently posted A Mother’s Hormones.

  11. Hilarious! Can you get Will to send me a picture too? It doesn’t have to be of him collating paper.

    Carla (@chickmae) recently posted Why I hate Tuesdays.

  12. I really, really, really hope Wil Wheaton sends you a picture. That would be almost as awesome as finding out that unicorns really exist.

    Karen recently posted Yippee ki yay- motherfkers! Or how to enjoy Texas stereotypes.

  13. He’s probably got them setting up a collation set at the studio right now. And he’s researching collators to get it right. He’s dedicated like that, yo.

    Angi recently posted All these channels and nothing is on….

  14. Oh my goodness, I’m totally in stitches here. TY for the belly laugh

    L.A.C.E. recently posted Pass Me The Vodka - Ode To Vodka.

  15. I’m going to Wil’s house now and getting that severed finger you wanted right now.

    furiousBall recently posted Birthday Sushi!.

  16. um…while this post is hilarious, i find myself incredibly jealous that you got a comment from wil freaking wheaton! dude was my hero back in the day. besides Stand By Me, the way he got gunned down in Toy Soldiers made me want to be in movies…tell him i said hello if you ever get that photo!

  17. Love everything about this. Awesomesauce.

  18. ditto Daddy Scratches.

  19. I once had a comment on my blog that said “Now you can rub one out” but it was from a guy I went to high school with. Not Wil Wheaton. Still, I feel like we’ve shared some kind of amazing experience.

    Bejewell recently posted Jen.

  20. Poor @wilw.

  21. You do realize that if Mr. Wheaton responds to this, you have to tell us about it. Geekily obligated. We met once in Austin on the stairs before w00tstock so I totally know you and can order you around. DANCE MONKEY!

    Julie Cox recently posted Me Need Words Good.

  22. Because NO ONE gives me the belly laughs the way you do, Jenny. I’ll look at naked pictures of you with hamburgers any day. *Hugs*

  23. Miranda Lambert is going to be on the cover of Redbook soon. I know because I PR person e-mailed me (and I’m sure only me) to tell me about it. I don’t know what she’ll be doing besides probably standing there with one hip jutted out, although I must be curious because I didn’t automatically delete the e-mail.

    But this isn’t about that.

    Laurie recently posted Bites.

  24. You make me laugh on a regular basis. For this I thank you. My coworkers probably hate you. I’ll tell them not to blame you. They can blame Victor.

  25. I have to google Wil Wheaton. If I get fired for this kind of thing, can I be your assistant?

    momiss recently posted After shes gone.

  26. From his books and blog, he’ll probably send a video of himself collating papers while making it funny in the process.

    And never change. Please. Even if it means OD’ing on absinthe but DONT DIE, stay weird.

    Drizztdj recently posted Natural Caffeine.

  27. Sheldon’s arch-nemesis!!! Nerd alert.

    The Snarcissist recently posted Charlie Chucking Sheen- A Poem.

  28. Hot, but hilarious mess.

    Michele recently posted It Really is a Challenge.

  29. I totally admit that I had to look him up, and as soon as I saw google images, I was like “Holy crap! I DO know who he is.” Just so you understand, I suck at remembering names, and thus think I don’t know who the hell anyone is. But I’d totally remember who Wil was now, if he’d give in to your pleas for a picture. So yeah, you could claim that you are making him more popular by doing this, which will make him richer/more famous/a paper collating GOD among the nerds/etc. Plus, you have minions that will bug him to death for it, and I’m sure there is a limit on how many restraining orders one can get. This is all important I’m sure. I’m really sick, and the doctor put me on good drugs (and gave me a steroid shot, which should scare Wil into giving in to your request alone), so everything makes sense to me in a nonsensical kind of way. Yeah.
    I’ll shut up now.

    Shay recently posted A letter to Walgreens.

  30. I don’t know if anyone has done this yet, but I would like to offer you a picture of my self doing something that you can use. Because THAT would be even more exactly to the point when you foward it to the PR people. Because NO one important wants a picture of me doing anything.

    A Vapid Blonde recently posted I Don’t WANT To Be A Loud Person I Just Am.

  31. I can send you a picture of Wil Wheaton holding a teddy bear. My sister got his autograph at Gen Con last year and he was nice enough to pose for a picture with her teddy bear. I <3 him so much for that alone. I know it's not as exciting as collating papers though.

    HR Minion recently posted I’m not opposed to bribery.

  32. Jenny,
    Wil tweeted he is collating paper! Just now!

  33. I would marry Wil Wheaton…

    CatZila recently posted O yeah Famous now.

  34. I am certain that Wil Wheaton will rise to the occasion and provide you with the requested photograph. I do not know Mr. Wheaton, but he invokes a certain “collatingness” when I look at him, as if he were the type of man who could really collate the holy living hell out of some paper. I do not think he is too big of a celebrity to collate paper, although I am sure he could afford to have “people” for that.

    Wil Wheaton would never crush your dreams to confuse publicists. Wil Wheaton is not that kind of person. I will knock the teeth out of the lying head of anyone who implies that Wil Wheaton is a bad guy who doesn’t care about his fans.

  35. Now I want a hamburger. But one of those tiny ones. That collates paper.

    Murph recently posted That Poster.

  36. Don’t look now, but the dude is totally mocking you…
    http://twitter.com/#!/wilw/status/45571775454642177

    Scott Jacobs recently posted Promises- promises….

  37. 37
    Procrastinateher

    I really hope Wil Wheaton replies with a picture of him collating papers with a burger balanced on top of a taxidermied (taxidermy-ed?) creature in the background. Because that would make everyone’s day. I don’t even know who Wil Wheaton is.

  38. I love you. I love Wil Wheaton. There’s so much win in this post I don’t even know where to start. I want to have your babies, except I’m pretty sure that’d be impossible and Victor doesn’t want you to have friends anyway, so coparenting is probably right out.

    Rainy recently posted There’s enough pie for everyone.

  39. Have we accosted wil wheaton over twitter to get him to read this? I do hope I didn’t miss that part…

    Beckles recently posted Here Comes the Bride.

  40. Can I be friends with your maid?

    Brooke Farmer recently posted Have I lost my effing mind.

  41. hoo-wil hoo-weaton. I just keep thinking of Stewie saying Wil Wheaton over and over… hoo-wil hoo-weaton.

  42. I’m not going to accomplish shit now that Wil Wheaton tweeted that the paper wasn’t going to collate itself. WHERE IS THE PICTURE, WIL?

    Karen recently posted Yippee ki yay- motherfkers! Or how to enjoy Texas stereotypes.

  43. I just read Wil Wheaton’s tweet about having to go collate paper now and I…honestly did a happy dance in my chair. You are my super-hero!!! Super-hero!!

  44. You should tell him you went to a w00tstock with a substitute Wheaton and have the sock monkey hat pictures to prove it

  45. He wrote ‘now you can scratch one off?’

    I remember the days before the Internet where ‘scratching one off’ actually meant ‘scratching one off.’

    Now I’m just confused about it.

    moooooog35 recently posted Update on my Childhood Pneumonia Alcoholism Post.

  46. Is it wrong that the one thing I took from this is that you have a maid? I’m trying to convince my husband that we need to have someone come in once a week or every 2 weeks to dust and do the floors (I have RA) but he seems hesitant (eg: cheap). Hmm… If I tell him YOU have a maid, maybe that’ll change his mind.

    Melissa recently posted Did I ever tell you that I have a cane.

  47. Were you in Japan when you got pictured with those burgers and fries? Were they real burgers and fries? You never know in Japan since they use fake food regularly and that stuff may be toxic. You have a future in stunt work, or at least as a food tester.

    Wil Wheaton should take it as a high compliment that you are asking for a picture of him collating papers, especially since you didn’t include collating instructions or guidance. Not everyone knows what “collating” means, much less can do it right. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve wanted to strangle for collating my papers incorrectly. Nothing screams, “I’m an incompetent idiot and have wasted a shit ton of this working group’s time” like papers collated incorrectly. Wil Wheaton probably already has done this, which is why there’s a delay while he prepares a multitude of possible choices for your shirt, maybe even enough to have one for each day of the week or themed topics.

    mrtl recently posted Avoiding All Types of Train Wrecks.

  48. Wait a minute – I also went to a W00tstock where there was a substitute Wheaton. That is just typical Wheaton. I stand up for him, only to remember that he has slighted me. Wil Wheaton is a bad person.

    Rev. Back It On Up 13 recently posted Lets Learn Religion! Very Stupor-stitious.

  49. I so love Wil and Jenny. :)

    PS. I could never live next door to you. I would always be laughing and never get anything done. Then I would get divorced but then you would make me laugh some more. So maybe it would be OK.

  50. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that your brain makes MY brain seem normal. Ummm…am I the only one who had to Google Will Wheaton?

    Lori stefanac recently posted My 6 Month Blogaversary!.

  51. He spells “Will” with one L. Who’s the open attention whore in this story? Not you, Jenny.

  52. I was totally with you on the “laying cable” thing. Are you sure it’s about pooping?

    Am also now having dirty thoughts about Wil Wheaton.

    triplezmom recently posted Scholastic Book Orders- Crack or Whack.

  53. Emo Philips called me funny once in comments on a blog on his Myspace page. Yeah, that wasn’t exactly just yesterday it happened either.

  54. I hope you get a pic of Wil collating paper… You deserve it if you can’t talk to the maid. Gheeze, Victor!

    Deina recently posted Wordless Wednesday.

  55. And…Wil Wheaton just tweeted about collating papers. No fucking joke.

    Kim recently posted Hmmm.

  56. Snort, All I can think about is the Star Trek episode of Family Guy where Patrick Stewart is giving Stewie shit for the way he says Wil Wheaton. AHHHHH it’s stuck in my head make it go away.

    cynicalbuddha recently posted Samurai Mushroom - Chapter 27.

  57. Shit…I just had to explain to yet another co-worker why I was snickering manically at my desk. Which is to say I just tried unsuccessfully to deny that I was snickering manically while trying to contain a bout of manic snickers…

    Which is NOT a hyperactive candy-bar, contrary to popular belief.

    You rock.

    ShredderFeeder recently posted On Realizations….

  58. Maybe the problem is that you haven’t told him what kind of paper you want him collating in the picture and with all the choices available he is having too much difficulty picking the perfect paper. Although I would think that Wil Wheaton would know what kind of paper he would look best collating so just forget what I wrote.

    Tom recently posted Rough Day for the Dutch.

  59. Oh Wil — i hope he reads this post & you get your shirt ;)

    Devan @ Accustomed Chaos recently posted Social Media Is It Blurring The Lines of Friendship.

  60. He says he is collating now, waiting with breathless anticipation for a pic.

    Theresa recently posted Don’t throw the baby out the window….

  61. I want a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper!

  62. I think they prefer to be called administrative assistants now a days.
    “laying cable” totally about pooping. Totally.

    The Dalai Mama recently posted I Mean It–No More Booty Calls.

  63. I had to look up what “collating” means. I have no idea how I functioned before Google.

    I totally thought “laying cable” meant the same thing you did. I should have known when I told The Man to “lay some cable on me” and he gave me the hairy eye ball. So glad he didn’t take me up on THAT offer.

    Domestic Spaz recently posted Get in the kitchen and make my dinner- woman!.

  64. Jesus Christ, I love you. And Wil Wheaton.

    the bedroom blogger recently posted Epiphora’s giveaway is badass Also- my birthday’s coming up.

  65. 65
    Rumble Kitty

    Everytime we watched Star Trek: TNG, whenever Wil Wheaton’s name came on during the credits, my husband used to say, “Weeeeeeeeel Wheaton!” You know, the way Buddy Ebsen used to say, “Weeeeeeell doggies!” on The Beverly Hillbillies. He still occasionally does that when he watches a rerun. He’s nothing if not consistent.

  66. Wait, you have a naked picture of you covered in hamburgers? How has that not gotten out by now?

    Kay Bee recently posted You people work on commission- right.

  67. Maybe comment on his blog, maybe that will get his attention

  68. 68
    Cathy with a C

    5 minutes ago I was googling Wil Wheaton (oh, *that* guy!), and now I’m following him on Twitter. Funny world we live in.

  69. “It doesn’t count if you’re covered with hamburgers”??? Jesus. I’d like to know what counts in the maid’s world!

    You now have another convert.

    Brandee recently posted Grace in Small Things – March 8th graceinsmallthings- postaday2011.

  70. It is the machines that collate, not the man. Wil Wheaton may press the “Collate” button, but who is the slave, and who is the master?

    No, I’ve never written ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ fanfic. Why do you ask?

    Jason recently posted IndieInk Writing Challenge 3- Untitled.

  71. I think Victor needs to lay some pipe in order to be in a better mood. Or maybe he needs to lay some cable. Either way.

  72. I am totally in love with Wil Wheaton. And now I am stalking, I mean following him on twitter. I hope you get your wish.

    And yeah, thanks for making we think there was narcotics in my lunch. You rock.

  73. –>The actor Wil Wheaton is actually “the third” so maybe you can address this email to his dad and granddad. You don’t even have to change the salutations.

    WebSavvyMom recently posted Donate Life Get a Pen My trip to the DMV.

  74. The maid is right. It doesn’t actually count unless you are naked and covered with hot dogs.

    Nikki recently posted Explanation please.

  75. Jenny, in the best possible way, you are mental. I mean that with love. I also love Wil Wheaton and I have no doubt he will rise to the challenge. I would thinknkf anyone would know how to collate it’s Wil. Plus he’s a game lad.

    Penbleth recently posted One thing sorted- one problem not mentioned.

  76. It took me a little while to figure out who Wil Wheaton was and now i know who he is. I think the problem is that nobody can collate anymore because now there’s collating copying machines. If you really want to get a hold of him you should probably have me try it because i wanted Jamie Bamber to get a hold of my daughter and my letter DID INDEED make it through all the PR people and he sent her a very nice individualized letter therefore BLOGGESS, or JENNY, or my pretty soon to be pal, you should probably ask me for some help.

    That is all.

    Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) recently posted In which Keely has baby-doll hands.

  77. This whole interchange (including Wil’s response on Twitter) has made my day.

    Thank you!

    Laura recently posted Knitting the winter away….

  78. Seeing Wil Wheaton kind of interact with you on Twitter is like when you see that two celebrities you have adored separately actually know each other in real life. Like when Brad and Angelina got together after that movie they made (you know, the one they shoved down America’s throat), and how everyone was all excited until they over did it by having babies.

    I think my point is, no matter how close you and Wil Wheaton get, don’t have his baby. It’s just become trendy. Although, your baby may have super powers. That’s how Star Trek works, right?

    Untypically Jia recently posted Chat Rooms and Cocktails Dont Mix Well.

  79. Speaking of weird sex euphemisms/acts on the Internet. I need you to go to Urban Dictionary and look up “BLUMPKIN”. It is probably my favorite word of ever and is part of my daily vernacular. Not kidding.

    It also kind of goes hand in hand with your laying cable. Enjoy! Also, seeing a picture of Wil collating papers is now a part of my bucket list.

    John B recently posted Amazon Racial Slurs.

  80. Five bucks says he not only sends the pic but comments here too. Because he’s that awesome. Almost as awesome as you. I remember when he commented on Mama Drama. I can’t help hating you just a little bit for that – you stole my blog crush right out from under me. ;)

    annettek recently posted there’s a theme here somewhere.

  81. This is all well and good and certainly interesting, but when I click on links that lead me to believe i will see a ravishing beauty and she will just have very little clothes or hopefully no clothes on, not to mention food products, tho’ burgers are made from beef and that is near and dear to my heart, seeing as I am a cattle and horse rancher, I am sorry vexed and disappointed when I do click to see a ravishing beauty with waaaayyy to much clothing and/or food products on. Could you please send me some pictures of you with much less of the food items and/or clothing, please? Pretty please? With cream and sugar and all other goodness, on it?

    Cuz, that’s how I roll dawg! :-)

  82. He did it! you totally rock!!!
    http://twitter.com/wilw/status/45584999579262976

    ShredderFeeder recently posted On Realizations….

  83. Just spit soda all over my keyboard. It was all super-hysterical until I had diet coke soaking into my alphabet. And now, thanks to you, I know who Wil Wheaton is. The Bloggess, you is FUNNY. Thanks.

  84. WHEATON just tweeted the photo! AWESOME!

  85. I think you should go for gold and ask Wil for a naked picture of himself covered in hamburgers. Now THERE’S a T-shirt!

  86. What amazing power you hold over all things Internet!
    http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2011/03/this-is-for-thebloggess.html

    He is amazing!

  87. Awesome! I love that guy! and The Bloggess, too, of course!

    http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2011/03/this-is-for-thebloggess.html

  88. This has absolutely made my day. My Geek Idol and my Humor Idol interacting online. If I had a diary, I’d write this in it.

  89. I have to leave my husband now and go have Wil Wheaton’s love babies because he is so TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  90. Sucha fun post! And even better – looks like the non-Evil Wil Wheaton was working on collating today! He pasted the pic you requested on his blog and dedicated it to you :)

  91. I can totally beat that! Wil Wheaton emailed me! That’s right, I wrote him an email saying that I liked his production diary of Criminal Minds and he said “Thanks!” I have saved that email for two years.

    Cara recently posted Ethical Eating Challenge – January Results.

  92. Oh that is an awesome picture! The look on his face – the one that says, “see, secretary, I told you I could collate the damn paper better than you! Now take the picture!”

    My Baby Sweetness recently posted Betty Crocker- I aint Dork Yes Yes- that I am.

  93. PS – will there be a new less judge-y towards Will Wheaton t-shirt? You could call it – you know! This guy!

    My Baby Sweetness recently posted Betty Crocker- I aint Dork Yes Yes- that I am.

  94. Heavy sigh…so happy for you JenE.

  95. I love it when my two worlds collide, I mean collate.

  96. I totally love your blog..why i’m not here reading it more often is bad etiquette! I’m totally psyched though that @wilw sent you a photo!!that’s just beyond fabulous!

  97. Oh Jenny…how I love you! You have made my day…

    Jen S. recently posted Caleb update.

  98. I am always always always the last to get the joke, the thing, the whatever whatever. I never understand what the big deal is or what’s what. Ever. EVER.

    So, of course, I’m always, like Wil Wheaton What now? Stand By Me? Ok…so? Yeah?

    Thank you Jenny. It is clear. I feel like bursting into song. What’s that from? It’s a Whole New World? Some Disney piece of shit. I understand that song now, too.

    God bless you Bloggess, and Wil Wheaton collating paper.

    p.s. If I’m up until three am trying to imagine all the messed up things that laying cable could mean, I’m going to be PISSED.

    Well Read Hostess recently posted Dancing With Myself.

  99. I am thoroughly disgusted by the thought of you covered in hamburgers. YUCK.

    However, add some cheese to those burgers and I might reconsider. :-)

    cagey recently posted Take It Back.

  100. Man, everyone wins today.

  101. Wow, I actually got to see this happen somewhat live, instead of 3 weeks after it happened…

  102. I once wrote Wally Szczerbiak (now plays for the Timberwolves, I think? This was when he was still in college) a drunk email about how I wanted to “dribble my way into [his] heart”. I signed it Ivana Bianya, but had my real name in the reply-to field. He replied that I should “pleases [sic] leave [him] alone”. I wish I still had that email but that was back when I had hotmail, which was literally a decade ago. But that’s my famous person email story. I’m going to go pour one out for all the awesome emails that were lost when I let that sucker lapse.

    Kristina recently posted This is kind of an appropriate gif.

  103. Now that he has sent you said picture, ask him if he would sent you a picture of him naked, covered in Hambergers & collating paper. It could become the back of the T-Shirt…

  104. I started a rumor that my teacher is a ninja which pretty much makes her a ninja cuz she’s so ninja-y even SHE doesn’t know. I think that makes you a sex worker. And I’m a tiger fighter. All in how we present ourselves to others.

  105. wow I miss laughing. You have inspired me to try it more often!.

    Luff ya

    knows not what I do.. recently posted Wish I were High.

  106. I told you Wil Wheaten was a game lad. Well done sir. You’re still off your head though.

    Penbleth recently posted One thing sorted- one problem not mentioned.

  107. I like how Wheaton played it cool like “I believe this is relevant to your interests” as if you are just generally interested in pictures of celebrities collating papers, instead of like “Me collating? BADAMN! How d’ya like me now?!” Classy guy.

  108. OHMYGOD You got a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper! Wil is a FREAKING GOD! This is the most awesome proof that internet is FREAKING AMAZING!

    And I hate exclamation points, so you know I’m excited.

    Roxanne recently posted Going to the gym wouldnt be so bad if I could get my brain to shut the eff up.

  109. –>Well done WIL WHEATON, III!

    WebSavvyMom recently posted Donate Life Get a Pen My trip to the DMV.

  110. OMFG!!! Wil Wheaton is the new love of my life. That is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. At least that I can remember. Which I guess isn’t saying very much since I have the memory of a fruit fly on meth. But still totally awesome!

    Are you reading this Jason Mraz???? See SOME people actually respond to open letters. Please take note. This, sir, is how it’s done.

    Rachel recently posted Dont look at me like that He asked for it!.

  111. Of course his secretary is only letting Will Wheaton collate blank paper. Paper with words that needs to go in order is probably best left to the chupacabras; I hear they are excellent paper collators.

  112. When the zombie apocalypse strikes, would you please lead my band of survivors? Because if you have the power to get Wil Wheaton to send you a photo of himself collating papers, you can do ANYTHING.

    Hearher recently posted Goodbye.

  113. I never comment on a blog but I read yours religiously and I felt this was a good a time as any to pop my “comment cherry.” Love that you made this happen. Or really should I thank Bridget for the Lou Diamond Philips email that turned into Wil Wheaton Collating Paper.

  114. It’s a good thing he submitted. Sometimes it’s just easier to take the damn picture, Wil. She wants what she wants. Sometimes it’s a boar’s head, other times it’s celebrities doing paperwork. No one ever knows what it will be, but it will always be awesome in an “I don’t know why this is so awesome” kind of way.

    MayoPie recently posted Charlie Sheen Is The Devil.

  115. UPDATE YOUR ZAZZLE WITH THE NEW DAMN SHIRT ALREADY, I NEED ONE!

    also, roflmao @ cursingmama

  116. Your PPPS- HILARIOUS! Actually, the whole freakin’ post is hilarious. Gotta be honest though, I have NO IDEA who Wil Wheaton is. But now I’ll google him.

    Alicia @MommyDelicious recently posted The First-Ever Brooklyn Baby Expo.

  117. Yeah, verified that laying cable is poo-related. My husband verified it. And he is the Poo Master. Though not the master of laying cable. That would be the Fiber Master.

    Brenda (mamabegood) recently posted Different Is Not Just Okay.

  118. I had this whole comment prepared in my head that was going to talk about the evolution of my infatuations and how they started with Magnum PI, then went to Huey Lewis and on over to Eazy-E then to Rick Astley and ending with Bradley Whitford and Oliver Platt. But now? Now i just want to buy Will Wheaton some wall art. There is a thing down at the Holiday Inn this weekend for masterpieces for just $99. Do you think he’ll share his address next?

    Amanda recently posted Oblivion.

  119. Everyone loves Wil. Wil loves everyone.

  120. Whats with you calling out Star Trek people on Twitter. A year or so ago it was Shatner. Now it is Wheaton. IS it only Star Trek people with the name Will? Or can I expect you to ask for picutres of Patrick Stewart peeling an apple ….ohhh even better Scott Bakula blwo drying his hair.

  121. You seriously make my day EVERY day.

    Sue recently posted No Words Wednesday- New shoes.

  122. I love how casual and nonchalant he is. Love everything about this. Everything.

    Ginger recently posted Book Marketing by Day.

  123. Jenny,
    Thanks for turning my shitty day … into a good one. I needed a good laugh and you are such a joy. As of the 10th, I will, officially, have been unemployed for one entire year. IT SUCKS and I’m about to go out of my mind with depression over it. Without your blog I would have gone off the deep end a long time ago. I like to tell myself I have marketable skills but after another rejection letter I’m starting to wonder. I can form complete sentences, I can cook really well and I am an excellent print buyer. Whoopee! If you know anyone who is looking to hire someone with these skills, hook me up.
    Thanks again, Circle (aka – RMjB)

  124. So did you pay him $75 or $85 bucks? I really need to know the going rate for stars who collate.

  125. If that’s not an internet WIN, then I don’t know what is.

    Sarah recently posted Getting a head start on festive preparations.

  126. I always thought I was the only chick who blogged about wil wheaton. Yet another reason for me to love you.

    Mae recently posted Lines in the sand-chicken.

  127. Further proof Wesley Crusher would destroy the Reading Rainbow guy in a Cage match to the death.

    Elly Lou recently posted Creative License.

  128. I WANT A PICTURE OF PICARD PEELING AN APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  129. OMG! This whole exchange has kept me giggling with barely repressed glee all day! I love the internet!

  130. OMGosh! It’s WESLEY CRUSHER all grown up and bearded.

    Space the final frontier!!!!!

    Mary recently posted The Columns Hotel Victorian Lounge.

  131. This entry? His response?

    Awesome. Just pure awesome.

    Dudge OH recently posted Speaker Boehner Not Blocking Mr Buckles Laying In State Politics.

  132. I’ve spent an hour trying to come up with something witty to say about this, but all I can think about is that every time I think about this, I come dangerously close to peeing in my pants.

  133. The fact that he sent the photo totally proves what I’ve long suspected: TNG > original Star Trek since William Shatner was less gracious.

    Michelle Smiles recently posted Slip sliding away.

  134. Seriously, this totally made my day. Awesome. So completely awesome.

    Suzan recently posted What is OneNote and why should I use it.

  135. I’m besides myself. The snark has left me and been replaced with hysterical fits of laughter. This might be my favorite post ever. There is gold in every line!!!!

    Mrs. P recently posted Yes- we are amazing.

  136. fucking bad ass!

  137. This is clearly my Lucky Day! I had no idea who Will Weaton was or what laying cable meant before this, and now my abs are sore from laughing so I don’t even have to go work out (which I wasn’t going to do anyway, but you know, Lent and all).

  138. The internet might as well just roll up its sidewalks and go home, because the awesomeness of this entire exchange will never be topped. EVER.

    Tiffany recently posted Work – The Great Silencer of Blogs.

  139. Magical things happen around you, Jenny. Well done!

    Dangerboy recently posted Friday night Fracas.

  140. I am in bed with a splitting headache – but Wil’s picture made me laugh! That and your mix up with “laying cable”. I knew exactly what you were talking about. Of course I once told my new boss that my boyfriend was a lot like Hugh Hefner when I meant EF Hutton – so I’m easily confused. But I DO know who Wil Wheaton is – so congrats on your victory!!

  141. OMG, you made my day!
    And I’d love to see a picture of Patrick Stewart peeling an apple…. can you make that happen too?

  142. I’m with William and Nicole.
    Patrick Stewart peeling an apple.

  143. The update makes this post insanely awesome.

    Lylah @WriteEditRepeat recently posted The opposite of a Tiger Mother- A Hiroshima Mom.

  144. You so TOTALLY fucking rock! You and Wil.

    Jami recently posted Sharing is caring.

  145. Holy HELL. I freakin’ LOVE WIL WHEATON!!! I can’t believe he sent you a photo. Well, I can, because you’re YOU. That is beyond AWESOME.

    Christine recently posted What’s In My Bag 30 Days of Lists- Day 8.

  146. WoooHoooo! Even MORE Awesomesauce!

  147. Wil is awesome! So are you Jenny. I <3 your crazy. So much.

  148. 155
    Jennifer S

    Wil Wheaton was my very first celebrity crush. Actually come to think of it he might have been my first ever crush. Even now I think I would pee myself just a little if he sent me a picture of himself . With or without the papers.

  149. 156
    Dot Wonder

    OOOOHHH…what Nicole said! Picard w/ an apple!

  150. Is it wrong that Will Wheaton is now one of my favorite actors, even though I’ve never seen Star Trek?

    Angela@beggingtheanswer recently posted Are They Made From Real Girl Scouts.

  151. Your pee esses make me so happy.

    And Wil Wheaten may be a golden god but that expression? If that ain’t a S.E.G. I don’t know what is….

    p.s. Pardon my abbreviated French.

    p.p.s. Or should it be “Pardon my acronym” which doesn’t have near the punch.

    Robin ~ PENSIEVE recently posted She doesnt like me- she REALLY doesnt like me!.

  152. A while ago I got mad at him for not commenting at my blog. I mean, come on, Wil Wheaton? Doesn’t he know I used to make out with him via a cathode tube ray. And, that’s pretty fucking dangerous. I think.

    Anyway, I love him again.

    All because of you, Jenny!

    Secret Agent Mama recently posted Try Something New.

  153. 160
    BustersDad

    I agree with William! Please use your new-found power over the cast of Star Trek for good and humor! How about Leonard Nimoy feeding homeless clowns? Chris Pine teaching orphan dolphins to swim (preferably in a speedo)? I have no doubt that you will wield this power benevolently! All hail, the Queen of the Final Frontier!

  154. It is ridiculous how tickled happy I am by this. I already knew Wil Wheaton was an f-ing cool dude, but his willingness to humor us this way makes my day.

  155. Perfect. You and Wil Wheaton have restored my faith in humanity.

    Or at least in social media.

    Tzipporah recently posted Ill have what hes having.

  156. This is the best thing that has ever happened on the internet.

  157. I vote for Picard with no shirt on peeling an apple. I like baldies, especially ones with accents…

    Theresa recently posted Don’t throw the baby out the window….

  158. I can’t believe the amount of people who don’t, well, DIDN’T, know who Wil Wheaton is. That’s just wrong.

    The picture he sent you? Is so, so, right.

    You must post the VERY INSTANT you get the first confused reply back from a PR rep who only wanted to ask you if you’d have liked a photo of Corey Feldman applying sunscreen.

    Keely recently posted I blame the economy- Random Tuesday Thoughts.

  159. Wil is awesome. Way back when he responded to an email I sent him and he totally didn’t have to. Absolutely fantastic guy.

  160. You can now officially make the shirt!!

  161. AWESOME! You are, if not better than Mother Theresa, definitely more powerful.
    *with apologies for my blasphemy for your Catholic readers*

    Fiona recently posted The next house swap blogging challenge!.

  162. And this is why I love Wil Wheaton almost as much as I love Jenny.

    Sara recently posted My dog is deaf and blind….

  163. I just love you. And Wil Wheaton.

    Angella recently posted Girly Girls.

  164. Do I get an extra stamp on my nerd card for thinking this picture is absolutely f***ing HAWT?

    Casey recently posted Happy International Womens Day!.

  165. Love. His willingness to humor you to thwart the idiocy of PR people makes me laugh. Way to go.

    Twitter is the great equalizer, isn’t it?

    Frelle recently posted never forget.

  166. I love that he actually gave you a picture!
    And that he is wearing a Star WARS shirt! Awesome galore.

    Leah recently posted I speak nothing but the truth.

  167. Jenny, the power that you have is unimaginable. I want to become your minion, just so that I can learn from you!

    Sarah recently posted Backtracking.

  168. Wil is kind of my hero now.

    Shay recently posted A letter to Walgreens.

  169. Shit. That’s the wrong Wil Wheaton.

  170. the only reason I know who Wil Wheaton is is because when I first starting blogging, a friend of mine started an anti-Wil Wheaton web ring.

    There is absolutely no point in me telling that story other than to say “ha ha, remember web rings?”

    Y recently posted My Camera- I Miss It.

  171. For those of us who get these pitches … or … info emails of random crap we’re supposed to want to blog in between posts about our illness and our kids … is this photo for mass parentblogger/blogger use? Because imagine the epic meme you have now spawned for PR companies world wide… every. single. time they send us a lame request we just fire back the Wil photo.

    All of us.

    Each time.

    It’s sort of like your Christmas thing only it doesn’t really help anyone but us. And by help I mean, feel like we’ve finally told the lame PR firms to stfu.

    Erin recently posted Stand Back.

  172. love. i love this. all of this.
    you are beautiful.
    so is wil wheaton.

  173. Oh, and I knew Wil was a stand up guy because he’s been helping fight Lupus too :)

    Erin recently posted Stand Back.

  174. Words cannot express my emotions right now.
    And I believe we need a pic of him wearing the shirt. Or of your maid wearing hamburgers. I can’t decide.

    Lorraine recently posted The Perfect Age.

  175. Now I want a hamburger.

    I’ll bet Wil wants a hamburger too. I’ll bet he could collate hamburgers. Your maid can’t collate hamburgers. Though she’s probably going to try, so it’s a good thing you can’t talk to her any more, because then you’d just be disappointed and she’d be all sad ‘n stuff. Then Victor would win and really, that’s unacceptable. I’m not sure what he’s winning. Not the same thing Charlie Sheen is winning. It’s all very confusing.

    Sarah recently posted Footloose.

  176. I think you may be onto a whole new enterprise. How many more celebrities can you browbeat into doing your bidding? Jim Parsons (Wil’s onscreen nemesis) watching TV. Henry Winkler filling up his gas tank. Brooklyn Decker picking her nose….The possibilities are endless.

    redredwein recently posted Kidless Conversations.

  177. This may have just replaced “Wolverines!” as my most favorite ever Bloggess post. Wesley Crusher was the first Star Trek man it would not have been creepy for me to have a crush on, so I crushed…hard. Now that I know how fucking cool he is (evidence=he reads the Bloggess), he may have moved from crush worthy to “List” worthy. You and Wil Wheaton have completely invigorated my entire week!!!

  178. YES.

    And I think you owe Wil Wheaton $85. :)

  179. Paid. Unless Wil Wheaton no longer uses paypal. Then we’re both out $85.

  180. So I guess you won’t be needing that picture of me doing something now.
    God Dammit.

    A Vapid Blonde recently posted I Don’t WANT To Be A Loud Person I Just Am.

  181. I love Wil Wheaton, and I have for as long as I can remember… and this proves how cool he is. I also have grown to love this blog…. which proves how cool I am.

    Jill recently posted Delish.

  182. You haz da power.

    Kernut the Blond recently posted How Not To Matchcom.

  183. “Plus, now the maid is claiming that “writing about sex doesn’t make you a sex worker” so I had to pull up the pictures of me in the sex dungeon for proof and she was all “You’re fully clothed” and I was like “I think I have a picture of me naked in here somewhere” and then my husband walked in and was all “Why is no one working in here?” and I was like “Do you know where those pictures are of me naked but covered with hamburgers?” and the maid was like “It doesn’t count if you’re covered with hamburgers” and then Victor said that from now on I’m not allowed to be in the house on days when the maid comes.”

    That is the best run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences.

    This blog post and Wil Wheaton are GOLD.

    Mary recently posted Bear With Me….

  184. Long time stalker, first time commenter…

    This is the best. post. ever. You and Wil are GODS indeed.

  185. I totally crushed on this guy too. Not as much as I crush on you, though, Jenny.

  186. This give me hope that with perserverance and a little more time on my hands I might, someday, somehow, have my very own picture of Mike Rowe sorting paperclips!

    *sniff* A girl can dream.

    SisterMerryHellish recently posted Chew Through the Straps- You Must.

  187. Now that is how to be awesomely famous. I don’t think I could ever NOT love Wil Wheaton now.

  188. Umm, if you ever get a picture of HCJ standing next to yarn, PLEEEEASE send it to me? I would leave my hubby for that man.

  189. I was more of a Johnny Depp chick back in the day. I now realize the error of my ways. Team Wil totally. And The Bloggess is my own personal hero. I love you, I honestly love you.

  190. That is amazing.

    nova recently posted Date a girl who reads.

  191. Honestly, you owe me a pair of jeans. And shoes. Because I went back and read your naked cheeseburger post (the whole thing…) and I peed on myself from laughter.

    Ok, I didn’t REALLY pee on myself from laughing. But I could have. And Jenny, you honestly need to think about these things. Think about how you are affecting ME and MY life.

    I am thinking about doing photos with McDonalds Apple Pies covering my body. Because it sounds good.

  192. OMG, please please please ask Harry Connick Jr. to send you a picture standIng next to yarn. Because clearly you can make shit happen and my life just won’t be complete without a Harry+yarn pic.

    Miss Yvonne recently posted Delicious Snack or Vicious Weapon You Decide.

  193. I am unreasonably happy for you. I think he just moved up on my list of famous people that I actually want to have a conversation with (you know, as opposed to the ones that I fear them talking to me, therefore ruining my fantasies that they are smart and sexy when in fact they just have a gym membership, a great dentist and good writers….)
    Good Gawd can I ever write a run-on sentence.
    You look hot in hamburgers.

    P.S.^^^^to that lady that posted above me- how cool that we have the same name!

    Johi recently posted Im surprised that I even try.

  194. 201
    Cedarflame

    You are so wasting your talents Obama needs to make you an Ambassador or something.

  195. Joie, not Yvonne…..

    Johi recently posted Im surprised that I even try.

  196. for reals? there are a lot of people that don’t recognize the awesomeness that is Wesley Crusher of the starship, Enterprise. Wil Wheaton FTW!

  197. OMG! I am now officially in love with Wil Wheaton!

    And my love for you has reached stalker level.

    Just think of the power you possess. I bet you could get pictures of celebrities doing just about anything! Your letter was just so heartfelt. How could he not respond?

    Could you get him to sing the song I wrote that is on my current blog post? (I get a share of any royalties if it is turned into a cd) Can you ask him? Pleeeeeeeeease? ;)

    Thanks!

    xoxo C-

    Carolyn recently posted Im Going to Make Millions With the Song I Just Made Up!.

  198. I totally love him now. I kind of, maybe a little want to jump on that table and rip off my clothes for him. (a predictable response if you know me. extra disturbing if you know my current predicament… my husband? no. nevermind him.)

    JeSSica, BlogMuse recently posted Almost as scary as clowns.

  199. I knew that one day he would validate my 80’s school-girl crush on Wesley Crusher.

    Betty Fokker recently posted The endless quest for “beauty”.

  200. I love this.

  201. Aw, that Wil Wheaton. The best part is the smile. Very cool.

    I’m glad he’s not one of those child actors who still looks boyish. That just creeps me out. It’s like sticking a baby’s head on a grown body.

    annie recently posted The Second Wives Club.

  202. Srsly. You need to update/make the shirt and donate the proceeds to some sort of kid’s science/space education camp.

  203. Now, that’s what I call using your power for good.

    Lunasea recently posted Another Auld Lang Syne.

  204. I shall now busy myself uploading the picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper as my screensaver. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say, “our world is now complete. Thank you, Bloggess. Thank you, indeed!”

    Phoenix Rising recently posted The surest way to recover from sickness is to work on your blackmail.

  205. Oh Jenny. I love your blog. But I have to ask….. “Who the hell is Wil Wheaton?” Is that someone famous that I should know about but don’t because, apparently, I live under a rock?

    Gigi recently posted The Project is complete - and nobody cried.

  206. Bonus points to Wil for keeping himself in photo-ready state. It’s like he inherently knows that a Very Important Request may be made AT ANY MOMENT for a picture of him collating papers. He even had a bunch of papers ready. Consumate professional, he must be.

    mrtl recently posted Avoiding All Types of Train Wrecks.

  207. This is why, on this decade’s UK census, I’m putting “Wil Wheaton” as my religion

    Slippy Lane recently posted Items Posted.

  208. Can you get one of him washing boxer shorts? I have a few bucks I could throw you for that one.

    LS recently posted Still Alive- Still Obnoxious.

  209. 216
    Someonesomeone

    Have you tried forwarding the various spam you receive to the PR people? Hotmail thought I was a bot when I tried, but maybe it’ll work for you.

  210. Most. Amazing. Thing. Ever.

    Wil Wheaton is a god.

  211. OMG!!!! You are a ROCK STAR!!!!!!

    LibraryGirl62 recently posted 18.

  212. That… That was *magical*. Not as awesome as the whole James Garfield Christmas Miracle, but pretty damn close.

    Chelsie recently posted A Zombie’s Guide to Lent.

  213. Wow. I saw the tshirt and thought it was amusing…but this is amazing. Wil Wheaton is very awesome. Who saw that coming?

    (Although looking back, I remember him being in an episode of the Big Bang Theory. And a picture of him wearing a tshirt with a picture of him wearing a tshirt on it, that had a picture of him wearing a tshirt on it…you get the idea. So I should have seen it coming really.)

    Kim recently posted I could have sworn I had something interesting to say.

  214. This is epic. The ONLY thing about it that lacks awesomeness is that I will never be able to explain this story to anyone and make it sound even remotely funny. It’s SO FUNNY that I can’t NOT talk about it, but no one will understand. I think I’m going to have to recruit you some new readers from the pool of people I get to see in person. You know, for the day we get to see Picard peeling an apple.

  215. Every time I’m on the computer and I make the slightest sound, be it chuckle, chortle, fart, or blasphemy, my husband asks me what I’m looking at, so when I’m reading your blog (THE blog, really, the only blog that I read religiously) I generally give him a quick synopsis of whatever post is making me spit milk out my nose and sometimes I even read snippets (or the whole thing) to him out loud so he can also enjoy the magic that is The Fantastical Jenni, but he never gets it, which makes me love him a little less every time. Really, the man doesn’t know from fun.

    I love you. And I love Wil Wheaton. You two put cracks in my Anti-Twitter armor. Oh, and next time I come to Texas I’m going to stalk you down and make you model for me; I’m thinking of you doing the Apple Test in the Panda suit.

    Samantha recently posted Skylar.

  216. Wil Wheaton looks good collating paper. Just sayin.’

    Lisa recently posted Work-at-Home- Keyword Proofreader Jobs with Infocom.

  217. What an authentic looking collating station. His studio did awesome. And I totally buy him collating those papers – that’s JUST how good an actor he is.

    Angi recently posted All these channels and nothing is on….

  218. Reason #4,287 why I love Wil Wheaton

  219. Omg!!! I love him in The Guild and Big Bang Theory!! Now I love him even more for being funny and posing for the collating picture! I may have to print it and laminate it to my Xbox. ;)

    Melinda recently posted Welcoming Spring- Weeds- and Critters.

  220. Will + Jenny = Pure Awesome!!!

  221. I’ve decided I need a shirt that says “Updated: Now With More Wil Wheaton” on it

  222. I totally thought the same way about laying cable. This totally explains now why everyone only looks disgusted while I was the one alarmed thinking this was inappropriate talk for work and the ombudsperson would come flying through the door to censor us. Well, I guess either way, it’s probably not the best conversation starter. Unless you work from home. And then it totally makes sense.

  223. I’d knew Wil would come through for you!

    tokenblogger recently posted I call foul….

  224. Wil Wheaton was my first celebrity crush. The events that unfolded today have made me smile and giggle like a school girl. Thank you!

  225. Oh, I just laughed and laughed. Now I love Wil Wheaton too.

  226. You do realize that Wil Wheaton is going to start sexting you now, right?

    Also, you should know better than to assume that Wil Wheaton’s secretary is a woman. It could just as easily be David Hasselhoff.

    Pablo recently posted Evolutionary Biologist Gives Up Atheism For Lent.

  227. You are now my favorite blogger. Ever. You can thank Wil Wheaton for that.

    Or maybe it was the hamburgers…

  228. reason #1-101 why I <3 TheBloggess and Wil W. You're both awesome! :D

  229. This is so full of awesome. I absolutely loved TNG and now seeing him as a guest star of The Big Bang Theory just makes my day. And now this. Social media at it’s finest!

    Wil Wheaton, you ARE a golden god. Hilarious, irrelevant and good spirited. Excellent picture, too. Well worth the $85.

    Jenny, I love that you got your own personal photograph of Wil Wheaton collating paper. I think you, Wil Wheaton and Allie Brosh are the trifecta that wins the internet. :)

    Tara recently posted The road less traveled.

  230. O My Gosh I love this! I loved TNG and The Guild…he is such a good sport!

  231. Apparently this is not as funny to people that I need to explain Wil Wheaton to. Or is it so hysterically funny that I am laughing enough for the both of us? Yes. Ima go with that one.

    Ali @Cranialspasm recently posted I’m Ranting but Not Actually Angry Thank you brain.

  232. Don’t ya just LOVE a man with a sense of humour? :-)

  233. First, Will Wheaton has just catapulted to awesomeness in my world. #2. Fucking hilarious. Thank you for the giggles.

  234. Just the giggle I needed this evening. You’re hilarious.

  235. Ahhhh, Wil Wheaton is AWESOME!!!!

    Dana recently posted This Isnt His First Trip To The Rodeo- We Do Have Five Kids.

  236. Awesome on Jenny. Awesome on Will. God bless the internet.

    Kathleen recently posted How to Tie a Scarf.

  237. I’m not sure who is more awesome…you or Wil Wheaton? You freakin ROCK!

    Kristin recently posted An Asshat Who Deserves The 9th Circle Of Hell.

  238. Yeahy … Will Wheaton !!

    Holly B recently posted Its Baacckk !! Suck A Fart Wednesday.

  239. This makes me want to watch “Stand By Me” next to the copier. And smile.

    the muskrat recently posted steps for winning! at mardi gras.

  240. Look at that smug little face, he aint achieving anything, he’s succumbing to your will. World domination, Jenny – 1, Wil – 0

  241. Thank you for being you.

  242. I realize that Wil Weaton did this for you, but I’m having a bad day and this made me really happy. I feel like maybe I just met Wil. This might be the cold medicine talking, but I don’t even care. Collating paper has never looked more SciFi and awesome.

  243. I don’t know how I found you but you are hilarious. I’m a fan now! I was told by a neighbor in jr high that wil went to our school for a minute. It could be total crap but I thought that was pretty cool.

    Kim recently posted Not looking good.

  244. Love, love, love this!! I’ve always been a Wil Wheaton fan, but now… I don’t have words.

    Jess C. recently posted Well.

  245. This is simply. fscking. AWESOME.

    ~EdT.

    EdT. recently posted WW- The Mummy Returns.

  246. LOL, Awesome!

  247. My husband is very excited that someone else is as obsessed with Wil Wheaton as he is. He showed this by coming in and doing his I’m not weird dance, which is weird in of itself thereby canceling out the normal he got by not being the only one obsessed with Wil Wheaton.

  248. Jenny, you just won the ultimate internets.

    Judy Doojie recently posted You look thirsty.

  249. I am pretty sure this is why I *exist*.

    Mrs. Mustache recently posted Grubby Grubby Yum Lumps.

  250. This is so effing hilarious. I can’t handle it. You are a superior goddess of the interwebs. You’re like some sort of “bloggess” or something.
    PS – who is this guy? I really dont know. sorry.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted At least cough up a bunny.

  251. OMG he’s the kid from Star Trek! Brilliant.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted At least cough up a bunny.

  252. Only you could make a request like this and manage to get it. Love it.

    Becky Mochaface recently posted Hump Day Humor- Sticky Simon.

  253. I agree; this post is exactly why I love the internet. Humor, wackiness, and celebrity all together in one awesome package. Love you, Jenny (and Wil)!

    Brenna recently posted Im sorry- person who has a vomited-on pillow pet.

  254. He actually freaking sent you a picture!!! Oh my GOD Jenny that is amazing! I always thought that Wil Wheaton was probably one of the coolest people in existence and now I know it’s true!

    Jodi recently posted An XY Phenomenon.

  255. Oh.

    Mah.

    Gawd!

    You did it, you did it!

    And ditto Miss Yvonne – I’d love to see a pic of Harry Connick Jr. next to yarn. (This pic will only hold me over for so long: http://tinyurl.com/4w24mln)

  256. Will Wheaton totally rocks! and I have laughed until I cried. I almost said peed my pants, but Will Wheaton might read this and I don’t want him to think I have urinary incontinence from being 40 and pushing out three babies. Which is totally true, but I still wouldn’t want him to think it.

    Lori Hudson recently posted Months of Planning Ends in a Whirlwind of Parties.

  257. I had to read all of the comments to figure out who Wil Wheaton is, but this post has been hilarious!! I am so glad I’ve been able to watch the craziness!

    Amanda recently posted Intro to my Vampire Story.

  258. Oh. My. God. Will Wheaton collating paper. My life is now complete.

    Brooke Farmer recently posted Have I lost my effing mind.

  259. That was possibly the best thing I’ve ever read and viewed. I love it.

    Thanks for sharing the love!

  260. It took me WAY too many posts to realize people were for asking for Picard peeling an apple, not PEEING on an apple. I just kept thinking, “that’s a long shot, people”

  261. Well…Will Wheaton is a good sport. I can’t say his name without hearing Stewie Griffin’s voice saying it. If you’ve not heard it, look it up on YouTube. You’ll never be able to say “Will Wheaton” without smiling ever again. Really.

  262. And this is why I totally regret having had to go to Chuck E Cheese’s instead of going to ComiCon on Friday or Saturday and meeting Wil Wheaton (darn birthday parties!). :( There is always…some other time.

  263. I’m certain this is exactly what is meant by a “random act of kindness.” Not that it’s random so much. Actually, the instruction is very clear. So, kindness, then. Yes.

    Nicole (Ninja Mom) recently posted What we have here is success not communicating.

  264. Okay, that is just awesome! I might be able to forgive Wil for being Sheldon’s archenemy now…

    And I bet I can make you feel better about the whole “laying cable” thing. I work at a hotel, and one day a guest was talking to me about how if she only had some pixie dust, her entire life would be so much better. Which is weird in itself, but also? I totally forgot that pixie dust and angel dust are not the same thing. I was amazed that this seemingly tame middle-aged woman wanted to score some PCP. So there I was, warning her about the side effects of pixie dust and how I was sure she didn’t want any, but if she was really interested we had this other guest who might know a guy. And then we were both confused. I think that’s the story of how I am the best desk clerk ever. Or the worst. I can’t really decide.

    Manapan recently posted .

  265. He is kind of amazing. He does this kind of stuff ALL the time cause he’s such a cool guy. A GREAT friend of mine actually just asked him to say hi to a camera for me cause I couldn’t be there to meet him in person and he made a 2 minute video talking to me. It was amazing. Then when I e-mailed him to thank him, he e-mailed me back. Just proof that sometimes people are as cool as we imagine them to be.

  266. Seriously? Biggest nerdgasm ever!!!

  267. Wil Wheaton is pretty awesome and now you have a brilliant PR response! Win/win.

    Veronica recently posted Thank you- a mummyblogger kind of post and some more stuff.

  268. This is just so epically cool, there aren’t even words to fully describe it!

    So I’m going to stop now…………………..

    Lindy recently posted Book Review- John Green “Paper Towns”.

  269. I think the coolest thing about Wil Wheaton is that he started out as Wesley Crusher who was not cool at all and then he grew up to be this cool! Who’d have thought! Not me (but that’s not unusual).

    Some days he’s my only reason for hanging in there with Twitter.

    Calling People Names recently posted Rich and Stupid.

  270. Love it – Wil Wheaton is a doll and you’re a comedy genius. x

  271. 280
    cakeburnette

    Wil Wheaton is the cutest celebrity EVER.

  272. Could you ask him to hold water and wear the Selma Blair scarf….while collating papers? Wow! Do we know how to party or what?

    Your a good sport Wil.

    Lookie Lou, TPPC.tv Web TV for Pet Lovers recently posted Great show scheduled for Thursday night on Pets Teach Us So Much Radio.

  273. Wil Wheaton was my celebrity crush growing up. I had his Teen Beat posters all over my wall. While all my friends were drooling over Cory Feldman… I was all about Wil Wheaton. This has to be the best post I’ve ever read. Thanks to The Blogess andto Wil for giving me a new poster for my wall.
    xo
    Kelly

    Kelly@Childhood recently posted Absence Makes the Heart Grow…what.

  274. Someone had an awesome idea: A picture of Scott Bakula blow drying his hair. Do you think you can make that happen? I’ll give you $90.00 and then you’ll have Wil Wheaton collating, Scott Bakula blow drying is hair and $5.00 more than you started with. I believe that’s called winning at winning. I’m picturing a whole wall collage of former Trekkers going about their business. George Takei looking in the refrigerator, Levar Burton pointing at a lamp and smiling, and God willing, Patrick Stewart licking a stamp while watching the new, not the old, Hawaii Five-O. *swoon* I’ll get to work on Scakula.

    MayoPie recently posted Charlie Sheen Is The Devil.

  275. Wil Wheaton just became my favorite person.

    M. recently posted Please refrain from hitting on my husbandk Thanks.

  276. I am stunned into amazed, Wil Wheaton-induced silence.

    Leslie recently posted Comfort.

  277. SWEET!!!! It would be the ultra bomb diggity if will w was wearing your I blame Will Wheaton shirt! :-)

    Lesley recently posted Wow what a busy week!!.

  278. So much win packed into one little post it makes me giddy. You’ve made my otherwise shittastic day so much brighter! Well, you and Wil. Thank you.

  279. I KNEW HE WOULD DO IT!!! He is so freekin awesome!!!

    CatZila recently posted O yeah Famous now.

  280. Oh my God! I read your entire post and was pretty sure that I was having some sort of epic Wellbutrin hallucination, but then I saw a real picture of Wil Wheaton and his paper and thought he looked pretty fucking snazzy and much more grown up than when he had to wear those polyester onsies on Star Trek and I always thought his mom was such a raging bitch but she was shagging Captain Piccard so what are you going to do because then he could just jettison your ass into outspace and/or take away your holodeck privileges, which, I’m pretty sure you’d just be using for interactive porn but still. And I really HOPE that he’s the guy from Star Trek or none of this makes sense AND I’m definitely having a Wellbutrin hallucination.

    Sam recently posted The Battle Within.

  281. 290
    Zippy The Poet

    Frickin’ cool — I laughed my a$$ off!

    So Jenny, where’s the t-shirt, now that you’ve got the picture???

    I’m waiting……

  282. 291
    Zippy The Poet

    Sorry, that should have been I LMAO? ROFLAMO? Oh, what the hell, I’m so uncool with these damn acronyms. But Jenny, you’re cool so I don’t have to be.

    Still waiting for the damn t-shirt, BTW . . .

  283. In my mind’s eye people on TV never age — so he’s still pimply kid from Next Gen. But there he looks like someone I would date or possibly have hamburgers with…

    I’m really really sorry about the maid.

    Nat recently posted Little Mum.

  284. MAD LOVE for Wil Wheaton.

  285. I posted the same comment on Wil’s blog, but you both made my day!

    Krista (@kristahouse) recently posted Wordless Wednesday.

  286. Jesus H! He’s so cute and fresh faced, it makes you want to turn him onto a travel sized trinket and pop in your pocket. Yes, I had a crush on him way back in Stand By Me. This could quite possibly be the highlight of your career.

    Heather C recently posted Donkey Talk.

  287. 1. I briefly thought I was a decrepit old person for not knowing that “laying cable” was a sex euphemism. I feel better now. Thank you Jenny’s maid.

    2. I would have screwed the whole thing up because I would have spelled it coallating and then yelled at my computer for not knowing how to spell when it warned me I was wrong.

    Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points recently posted Off With His Head.

  288. Funny that you should mention sex talk with the maid because I was just about to write a similar true story on my new blog “I can’t be serious” about sex inspired thoughts I had as a result of a conversation with my old cleaning guy. I’m sorry that your husband took your friend away. We can be friends if you’d like:) Laurie

  289. Gosh, perhaps you should send that picture of Wheaton to Sheldon Cooper because I can’t be team Wheaton and be on Cooper’s bowling team while Wheaton is the Arch nemisis of Sheldon Cooper. Maybe you should contact Sheldon next…a picture of him shredding paper…then he and Wil would hug and you would have brought the whole world together. I know if anyone could do it, it would be you!

    Jeane recently posted Forget Hump Day…I Want A Beach Daze!.

  290. Remember that time you, and the rest of the Internet, asked Wil Wheaton for a picture of himself collating paper and he gave you one?

    That was awesome.

    Backpacking Dad recently posted He’ll Have the Cleanest Teeth Ever.

  291. My hubby is a huge Wil Wheaton fan. Now I know why – he truly rocks!!

  292. 301
    John Astor

    Riker called; he wants his beard back. Troy misunderstood. Scotty called; he wants permission to go into the Jefferies Tube (laying cable or laying pipe)? He was missing a finger. Chris Chambers called; he wants his role as main character in the body back. See Scotty.

  293. I’m suddenly a big Wil Wheaton fan.

  294. I’m so happy to see that Wil Wheaton is just as adorable as ever, and obviously a dude with a great sense of humor. Hooray!

  295. OMG woman, is there no end to your powers?? This is completely awesome! You rock, as usual!!

  296. Wow, this made my day! Of course anything with Wil Wheaton automatically makes your day cause that’s an understood rule of the universe.

  297. I was waiting for that update! I knew he would could through for you. He must collate…what?…6 or 7 times a day? But to get him to be photographed doing it? Very cool.

    Jacqui recently posted A Blog With Rides AND A Theme Song Wow.

  298. So I’m wondering if all the people who didn’t know who Will Wheaton is have been living on the right planet and then I finally realized:

    THEY’RE FREAKING CHILDREN.

    (aka, anyone born after 1980). That’s the only reasonable conclusion.

    Tzipporah recently posted Ill have what hes having.

  299. Hilarious! Rivals the infamous labia post.

    Dora recently posted Life from Scratch Book Tour.

  300. You are absolutely priceless, lady. I am going to have to somehow work that “laying cable” into a conversation with my 16 soon-to-be-17 yr. old son, with whom I share a penchant for the potty humor. Yes, it is he who taught me how to say “drop a deuce” (which I never understood why that term until just NOW when I double-checked how to spell “deuce” and realized it means “two” — which I did know that, but I just never put “two” and “two” together, which makes 4, but who the hell cares about math). What can I say? As a single mom who had to also be the dad sometimes, I needed a way to bond with the boy, and that’s the ugly turn it took! (Just hope I don’t get the two terms mixed up like you did and say “laying pipe” to my son instead of “cable” or that will make for one embarassing mother-son moment.)

    rtcrita recently posted The Magic of Photoshop.

  301. I’m almost embarrassed to admit I don’t know who Wil Wheaton is but he just becamse the coolest person I know because he sent you a picture of himself collating papers.

    Kendahl recently posted 2011 Kids Who Give Contest Really cool press release info you should read- yall.

  302. I can’t believe this is Reason #307. So what were the other 306 reasons??!!

    Not to brag about it, but this post, that picture, is Reason #1 why I love YOU (and you = Internet). Done.

    subWOW recently posted Thirteen.

  303. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Jennifer F. recently posted They say its your birthday- its my birthday too- yeah! -D.

  304. 313
    jennielynn

    SEE?!? This is why I want to be you when I grow up. Even though I think I’m older than you.

    Wil Wheaton, you truly are a golden god.

  305. Will Wheaton can collate my papers anytime.

  306. That pretty much proves Wil Wheaton is the most awesome person ever! :)
    And this is the most awesome post ever! :)

    Rachael recently posted Taking the Mom Pledge.

  307. Jenny pwns the internets. And Wil Wheaton rocks.

    Mr Farty recently posted That Was The Week- Was It.

  308. I told my husband about posting about him not knowing from fun, which led me to fill in the backstory of Jenni and Wil Wheaton, and he immediately did the Stewie “Hwil Hwheaton” and told me that he had just hours before watched that very episode of Family Guy on tv. I bet they played it because of you, Jenni. Because of you.

    Samantha recently posted Skylar.

  309. Wil Wheaton: CLASS. ACT.

    Anybody who thinks otherwise is NOT PAYING ATTENTION.

  310. You are magical and you have made my day. Thank you!

  311. You really are a genius!

    tumbleweed recently posted Avoiding Actual Work.

  312. 322
    HannahBanana

    Is it me, or is he still kind of a hottie? The beard…. Now I want the shirt for even MORE inappropriate reason!

  313. WILL WHEATON FUCKING ROCKS! I LOVE THIS! Have you guys seen him on the Guild? It’s the best ever internet comedy and? he wears a kilt. Which is beyond awesomeness. Dammit, i love this blog. *reads what I just wrote* *yep, me= total fan girl* #noshame

  314. dammit. so I added an extra “L.” *headdesk* hello #typoqueen

    Pauline recently posted Butterflies and Battleaxes by Mercedes M Yardley.

  315. Sadly, I had no idea who was. But now I see he is quite cool. Proven by the fact that he was on Criminal Minds and Numb3rs. Seriously, how did I not know him???

    Plus, your link to him totally reminded me about those two doctors who told me I have Celiac Sprue disease and whose advice I have been ignoring in hopes of a little more time making love to my bread, cookies and cake. Wil’s mom reminds me that maybe I should take my health a little more seriously.
    Dammit.

    RealMommyChron recently posted Quick Fish Stew.

  316. Wil Wheaton is just plain awesome. We all KNEW it. I was born in 1972, just as he was, proving that all people born in 1972 are just plain awesome. Studies have been done. This picture is just SO MUCH BETTER than Lou Diamond Phillips holding water, on so many levels.

  317. Check out http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2010/05/unicorn-pegasus-kitten-scalzorc-clown-sweater.html
    Wil Wheaton on with pegasusunicornkitten. In a clown sweater. For charity.

  318. Oh dear God. You and Wil Wheaton are so EPIC. Now if I could just get a picture of Wil Wheaton and Felicia Day acting out the scene from the “Cawkes” painting made famous by The Guild, my life would be complete. COMPLETE.

    Kayla in Feejee recently posted My Non-Birthday.

  319. You know when you see someone you work with and they’re hanging out with someone that you went to day camp with when you were twelve and you’re confused because it’s like two of your worlds just collided?

    For some reason, that’s what it feels like when you post about Wil Wheaton, except I don’t actually KNOW either of you. But I have a false feeling of familiarity thanks to the joys of the internet. Well, the internet and digging through your garbage on the weekends.

    Also, the photo was pretty much inevitable but I’m glad it happened sooner rather than later.

    Miss Michael recently posted City Snapshot- Hoi An.

  320. So…much…awesome! :D

    Wednesday recently posted It IS Friday- isnt it.

  321. 1. Still waiting on Picard peeling an apple. Make it happen Queen Bloggess. :-)
    2. I’m in the same boat with Samantha. My husband looks at me like I’m insane (no, that’s my *other* personality…shut UP!) whenever I talk about the hilarity that ensues on this site. They sooooo don’t get it.
    3. Jenny, you are SO up for sainthood. James Garfield, panda suit, Wil Wheaton. Your 3 miracles are complete.

  322. Really, Jenny? People still use the word “MAID?”
    There is something so not right about that.

    Laurie F. recently posted My Real Age vs the Age I Feel.

  323. You go Wil Wheaton. Very very cool. I most like the value-added aspect of all the sheets being blank.

  324. Wil is truly the best. No one can collate like that. No one!

    Ginny recently posted My Lost Boys obsession.

  325. Thank you so much for blogging every day. We are huge fans of yours. We are teens from CT, and we’d love it sooo much if you could come on down here and visit our school to give a lecture on blogging and such. We go to a tech school.

    Love,
    Dag & Forrest

  326. laying cable? what is *the other* meaning of laying cable? I’m having this flashback to the day my husband asked me if I wanted a pearl necklace….well….. ask me again today and my answer is: HELL NO, *DIAMONDS* are a girls best friend……

    Wupppy recently posted FYI- my vagina is THA BOM!.

  327. hi, me again.

    i just googled it….. stop educating me, please! ehw.

    Wupppy recently posted FYI- my vagina is THA BOM!.

  328. I LOVE that he actually sent you a photo! That officially makes you both fantastic.

    Someday, I am going to be famous enough that I can ask you for a photo of you collating photos of Wil Wheaton collating paper. Because I’ll need that sort of thing.

    Curiosity recently posted Five Question Friday – “Goodbye Elimination Diet- Hello Chocolate!” Edition.

  329. This is fucking great, and Wil Wheaton looks HOT collating paper!

  330. This is so full of win I can’t stand it. Can you score me a picture of Mark Wahlberg stapling things ?

  331. [...] Wil Wheaton makes dreams come true. [...]

  332. Dear Jenny,

    It would really be best if you could please post daily. I need more laughter in my life.

    I appreciate your prompt attention to this matter,

    Brooke

    Brooke Farmer recently posted This is really happening.

  333. Am I the only person onearth who has no idea who Wil Wheaton is???

  334. I would have commented on Wil Wheaton’s blog, but it was too cool to accept my typepad address. But he is now the shiznit. Bloggess is the bomb, but his panache while collating takes him to a whoooole new level.

  335. Thanks I needed a laugh after a long night of Tsunami scare!

    RebeccaLK recently posted Tsunami Me .

  336. That is one collating motherfucker.

    furiousBall recently posted Happy Birthday Baby.

  337. [...] The Bloggess Gets Wil Wheaton to Pose For A Picture Collating – I love her [...]

  338. LOVE it! How awesome….going to follow him on Twitter now.

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Living My Childhood Dream.

  339. I just like saying “Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher”.
    Is that wrong? ;’ )
    Hi-Res means above 1000 pixels in both dimensions usually.
    “Ambassador, I would like to introduce you to Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher, he has been doing all out best Collating when not trying to bang Ashley Judd.”

    “Engage!”
    xo

  340. Mlle. Jenny,
    I should have probably let you know that Wil has now completed Barbizon’s “Be a Secretary Or Just Look Like One!” training, hence the delay in getting your photo. All apologies, and enjoy.
    — sarah, coordinator. Barbizon Secretarial School

    Sarah recently posted Brushes with hoops fame and other basketball tales.

  341. 351
    superjennifer

    Wil Wheaton kicks ass. You rock too Jenny! I was thrilled when Gigilo the Pom from Housewives of Beverly Hills sent my dog’s Twitter account a “Happy Birthday” DM. Yes. That’s the life I live. That was the apex. It’s downhill from here.

  342. Speaking of laying cable…. Wil Wheaton looks just like No. 2 with that beard! By No. 2, I mean Commander William T. Riker actor Jonathan Frakes, of course.

    Bitchin' Amy recently posted Pioneer Woman Meets Veddy English Countryside.

  343. He should use an automatic collator. http://bit.ly/fHgkQ8

  344. 355
    lapushbaby

    Holy crackerjack on a stick, I love Wil Wheaton so much right now. I have tried to get him to tweet me back several times, but obvs he is too busy coalating papers. This Rules.

  345. Speechless!

    Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy recently posted Thinking Of Japan and Sending Prayers.

  346. [...] here is why. Posted in Humor March 14th, 2011 by Chip No [...]

  347. You want some pokemon humor? “What?! Wil Wheaton is evolving!” -dramatic music- “Wil Wheaton has evolved into Johnathan Frakes!”

  348. You’d rather see Lou Diamond Phillips /not/ holding his water?

  349. You are the most powerful person in the Universe! Who is next on your list of people to submit to your will? Might I suggest Charlie Sheen? He seems pretty persuadable these days.

    Sarah recently posted Nine Months Old!.

  350. I can’t wait for the day when we can all look back with fond nostalgia and say that we were there for Wil Wheaton Collating Papers. And looking so dashing whilst collating!

    *sniff*

  351. “It’s pretty clear you had a talent for twitter before it was even invented.” Abso-smurf-ly!

  352. That is definitely the best picture of collating I’ve ever seen.

    Busted Kate recently posted Apperently My Uterus Was Not Ready to Give Him Up- My Kid Is Born Part Two of the Birth Story.

  353. 364
    Andrea, The English Webmistress

    This is such a great big fat WIN all round. You and that Wil bloke made me laugh till I choked. Golden…

  354. I love to read your blog. I feel SO much saner in comparison that it just boosts my ego up up up! Even though I had to Google Wil Wheaton because I am bad with celeb names and thought he looked like a Star Trek guy and guess what? I was right! He is now my fave and I will follow him on Twitter. Best thing that’s happened to Wil in a long time was being written up about on The Bloggess.

    Tracey - JustAnotherMommyBlog recently posted Gonna Party Like Its 1985!.

  355. Awaiting moderation? When did this happen?

    Tracey - JustAnotherMommyBlog recently posted Gonna Party Like Its 1985!.

  356. I was in love with Wil Wheaton when I was ten and I still use the line “Suck my fat one” every chance I get.

    This just reminds me of how awesome he is.

    Excellent. Love it.

    Shana recently posted Too jaded….

  357. [...] last week when Wil Wheaton sent me a picture of himself collating so I could use it to cure the world of bad PR pit…?  If not, then you need to go back and read [...]

  358. Thank god you had got a picture of Wil Wheaton collating papers because until I actually saw the picture, I had no idea what collating even meant and I was too lazy to google it.
    And just for the record, I’d love to see the picture of Lou Diamond Phillips holding water.

    Sandra recently posted Kind of like a Mastercard commercial but not really.

  359. Hi Jenny – I’m sure I’ll see you again at BH in SD but gonna bug you with this one clarification: PR firms don’t pitch celebs with products, that’s publicists.

    It’s why I cringe when people call me a publicist. I have a brain and know people don’t care about celebs with products outside the stoopid entertainment blogs/sites. And why publicists make me wanna throw up a lot.

    See you in a few! :)

    (See, here’s the thing: The product being pitched is not the celeb. It’s the blanket. Or the baby shirt. Or the scarf. Or the water being held by the celeb. In absolutely none of these pitches do the celebs look even vaguely happy or presentable and my guess is that their publicist would never give the okay to have these pics used. This is about the PR people for the product wanting their product covered because they have a candid, strange picture of a celeb standing *near* it. ~ Jenny)

    Jeremy Pepper recently posted Placeholder – Yep- a placeholder.

  360. OH MY GOSH!!!

    This so rocks! Thanks to Will for finally coming through – and thanks to you for making my day!

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

    ~Rose

    http://www.blog.phoenixrosedesign.com

  361. Wil Wheaton is so wonderful!

    KerryJ recently posted On ripping YouTube vids and using images as you please.

  362. I like you. I really like you. That is all.

  363. How have I lived my life without having that tshirt?

  364. The Stand By Me kid collates his own paper? What a douche…

    Pamela Gold recently posted Detour to Oz.

  365. There are no words for how awesome this is!!!!!

  366. i want a picture of wil wheaton licking an old fashioned stamp. can you make this happen? (by “old fashioned” i mean not self-adhesive.)

    other suggestions: wil wheaton loading a pez dispenser, wil wheaton standing around a water cooler, wil wheaton on a swing (regular or tire). this could be a bizarre book.

  367. Jenny! This breaks my heart for you and I’ll tell you why– A couple of years ago I asked you when your birthday was (which you never replied, sister) because I was going to try to pull my ONE STRING with Chris Hardwick @Nerdist and see if he could get Wil to @ you for your birthday. One string = I was the first person Chris followed on twitter and I’m 80% sure that means he owes me.

    You just ruined your birthday. Largely because I’m also 80% sure Wil Wheaton knows where the birthday unicorns are kept.

    Megan {Velveteen Mind} recently posted Cherry Bomb.

  368. [...] a few weeks ago when Wil Wheaton sent me a picture of himself collating papers so I could use it to stop spam?  Exactly.  That was awesome.  And that’s why I’m going to offer Nathan Fillion $402 [...]

  369. [...] makes me piss myself more than Jenny, the Bloggess. Her Wil Wheaton collating paper made me run down the hall and be all SLASHER! WIL WHEATON sent this picture to a blogger because [...]

  370. That shirt can be had at http://www.dammittees.com – sorry for the shameless plug.

    Funny story about how he got that shirt: Wil was at a Los Angeles Derby Dolls roller derby game and I was selling shirts and he saw someone wearing one and geeked out on it. So they told him where they got it and he bee lined over to me with money in hand, wanting one. I told him that I would give him one for free if he would hold it up and let me take a pic of him holding it. He said he would rather pay for it and wanted to save the picture until he could wear it at WOOT! Con. So I gave him a good deal and some stickers.

  371. Now you need a Demotivational Poster style t-shirt with this picture saying “Wil Wheton is collating. Your argument is invalid.

  372. I just found this blog searching for “Wil Wheaton makes a good bad guy” because I saw him last night on Criminal Minds. This post is much better of a destination.

  373. Why is Wil Wheaton collating blank paper? This photo looks staged! I demand a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper that actually needs collating!

  374. WTF is Wil Wheaten?

  375. Forgot to add how amusing I found this blog to be. Guided here by Cop’s Wife.

    knitman recently posted SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE.

  376. But, but…I would love that picture of Harry Connick, Jr. standing next to yarn! And you turned it down?? How could you?

    International Knitter of Mystery recently posted Mitten, mitten, who’s got the mitten?.

  377. How did I not know about this until now?

    Dang it. Jenny, I love you. (But not as much as I have always loved Wil Wheaton.)
    Although your notes about the husband, and you, and the maid almost made me pee myself.

    Keep being awesome! :-)

  378. HOW did I ever miss this whole hilarious story? Love it! You are so insanely funny it’s an art.

    Shoegirl recently posted Getting Organized with OCD & Anorexia.

  379. I realize this is probably a somewhat empty statement becuase I was already going to love Wil Wheaton forever? But I am now going to love him forever EVEN HARDER.

  380. OMG, you make me laugh, aint that nice, i love this post

  381. Oh my god- you are so funny I can not contain myself- my sister in law told me about you and I could not understand what she was talking about through her laughter and lightening speed Will Wheaton collating paper enthusiasm. But now it all makes sense. Such perfect, crystal clear sense. You are my sensai. However you spell it. My Mr. Myagi if you will. However you spell that. You are amazing. And I am going to buy out your entire zazzle shop for the holidays!!! Love, MC

    MC recently posted New Indie Video Goes to the Moon People!.

  382. [...] @theBloggess is some lady who is funny on the internet who made a teeshirt about not having a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper, or some shit like that and so Wil Wheaton sent her a nice high res of himself collating paper.  Full story here. [...]

  383. 395
    Chuck Wyckoff

    How conspiracy theories start: Wil Wheaton seems to resemble Jonathan Frakes, only in a younger and (sorry, Jon) better looking version. Note to self: investigate whereabouts of Jonathan Frakes during the possible conception period of Wil Wheaton…

  384. Been following your #simonpeggholdingtwine shenanigans and this just made me crack up. Can you do @TheRock next?

  385. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one who’s eerily obsessed with Wil Wheaton. Besides, Wil Wheaton on the Bloggess is like getting chocolate filled chocolate with chocolate on top, wrapped in chocolate, and covered in chocolate sauce! There is so much wonderfullness in having your two blogs collide!

  386. Oh, my God. You are hysterical and Wil Wheaton is fabulous. I am so totally not a geek, even though my boyfriend had a life-long subscription to Comic Buyer’s Guide, and I loved Wil Wheaton’s column and his self-deprecating humor. I truly admire the both of you for this collaboration on collation.

    Where do I sign up?

  387. Wil Wheaton collating papers makes me SO HAPPY!

  388. 400
    Catfish N. Cod

    Today is the first anniversary of Wil Wheaton Collating, and I have a story to share. Let this be my official application for membership in Unicorn Success Club.

    I went to a Panera Bread for lunch today, so I could steal the wifi to study with. The table behind me was taken up by a couple of entrepreneurs talking about their plans for the latest doctor sensation, you know, like you do. As I was finishing and starting to worry about the one-hour parking limit it slowly dawned on me that they were talking not about any random website, but a website designed to channel marketing pitches to bloggers. “What are the odds?” I thought. And just as I was ready to pack up, one of them said that they couldn’t do all that fancy stuff right off, so they would start with just generating email lists bloggers could sign up for that would automatically send them pitches based solely on demographic targeting requests made by the product makers.

    And suddenly I knew what I had to do. For the good of all humanity.

    I tore off a strip of my receipt, wrote “google ‘Wil Wheaton Collating'” on it, and handed it to them, saying, “Here, this will help you.” And then, because I am allergic to being towed, I headed out of the cafe, secure in the likelihood that a million bad PR pitch emails had been pre-emptied by one well timed drive-by snark.

    You’re welcome.

  389. 401
    Catfish N. Cod

    And by ‘doctor’ In the post above I meant ‘dotcom’, but autocorrect is stupid and possibly evil.

  390. 402
    Morgan Butala

    Wil Wheaton being an elf AND flipping off the camera. The best of both worlds.

    http://9gag.com/gag/5946688

  391. Kudoos to you both. You for coming up with that idea, and him willing to snap a photo and take it. It is amazing what PR folks think we really want. Oh well. I appreciate your sense of originality, and his sense of humor.

    Stephanie @CopyKat.com recently posted 42 Christmas Cookie Recipe Ideas.

  392. Dear Jenny @ The blogess: help i need your super powers

    My friend’s birthday is March 26th and she really wanted b-day note, cards, electronic message, photo, really anything that has the word Birthday on it from fave celebs. Here is the list we put together:

    Felicia Day
    Paul Reubens
    Anyone that was on Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    Any Phoenix sibling
    Nathan Fillion
    Martin Starr
    Wil Wheaton
    Mathew Broderick
    Judd Nelson or really anyone from the Breakfast Club or a John Hughes movie

    I do not have super powers and cannot figure out how to get anyone on this list to even read an email from me. I just figured since you were able to get Whil Weaton to collate paper – you were capable of anything. Modern day wonder woman sort of deal.

    Her name is Minnie. We’re both students We both write but we’ve never gotten paid and no one ever reads any of it except our teachers, cuz they’re paid to.

    PS Someone should talk to marvel about making a blogess comic. You can be from planet Blog, take Victor as your human concubine and zap people with your hair dryer.

  393. Fantastic! I had to come check this out when I picked this picture for the Wil Wheaton signing today and they told me it was for you. So now I know, and it’s really funny! Thanks!

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  1. Week 10, 2011. « March 11, 2011

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