Phone conversation with my husband while he was out of town:
Victor: Hello?
Me: The snow cone machine is broken.
Victor: How the hell did you break the snow cone machine? I just left this morning.
Me: I didn’t break it. It just stopped working. I’m getting on twitter and calling for a boycott on snow cone machines.
Victor: How is that going to help? Most people don’t even have snow cone machines.
Me: I’m just so pissed off right now. There should be a diagnostic thing on the snow cone machine like Onstar, so it can tell me when it’s about to break.
Victor: That’s not how Onstar works.
Me: It’d be all “I’m your snow cone machine. I’m gonna break tomorrow because I suck. Don’t get your mouth all ready for a snow cone or anything because I’m unreliable.”
Victor: Please stop breaking things in our house.
Me: I DIDN’T BREAK IT. I’ve spent the last hour trying to fix it. I thought maybe an ice cube was stuck in it so I stuck a knife in the gears to feel around and then the knife got stuck and then I was afraid the knife would break off in there and then when it finally turned on a knife-blade would shoot out and kill one of us but then I got the knife to come out eventually so no worries on that. Problem solved. Except that the snow cone machine still won’t work and now two of our knives are bent.
Victor: Why are two knives bent?
Me: I had to use one as a lever to pull out the other one. I’m like McGuyver, with knives.
Victor: Are you doing this to me on purpose so I don’t leave you alone anymore?
Me: Don’t be ridiculous. If I was doing this on purpose I’d break something I don’t actually need. Like the oven.
4 hours later:
Victor: Hello?
Me: Good news! The snow cone machine works.
Victor: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah. Turns out all the outlets in the kitchen stopped working.
Victor: Huh. That’s…not really good news.
Me: I know, right? I have to take the snow cone machine into the bedroom to make snow cones. It’s like we’re living in the fucking wilderness.
Victor: No, dumb-ass. I mean, it’s not good news that none of the outlets in the kitchen work. Is the refrigerator running?
Me: I’m not falling for that.
Victor: It’s not a fucking joke. The fridge is in the kitchen with the outlets that don’t work, right? Is it still working?
Me: Oh. Yeah. That’s where I’m getting the ice for the snow cones. But none of the other plugs work. But you know, actually? It’s kind of nice having a snow cone machine in the bedroom. We should probably get two. One for the kitchen and one for the bedroom. We’ll be like rap stars. Except instead of stripper poles we have snow cone machines.
Victor: Don’t call me anymore.
Epilogue: Turns out the GFCI outlets were overloaded and Victor had to reset them when he got home and he acted like he was all amazing for being able to fix them but turns out all you had to do was just push a button. I could have pushed a button if you’d just told me to push a button but no, I had to live with a snow cone machine and a blender in the bedroom for three days because Victor wanted to be a hero. Whatever. The point is that we have a snow cone machine. In the bedroom. That’s how you know we’re successful.
Disclaimer: To be completely honest, the only reason we even have a snow cone machine is because I wanted one of those refrigerators that has an ice-maker in the door but we couldn’t afford it and so Victor bought a snow cone machine to distract me. It’s totally kick-ass. And it comes with its own foot-pedal in case you get tired of pushing a button for your snow cones. Because it’s exhausting making snow cones, apparently. So yeah. I can make snow cones just by leaning. I’m kind of a bad-ass.
Comment of the day: I had this Snoopy snow cone machine as a kid…you stuck ice cubes in the roof and then pushed on Snoopy’s ass to hold the ice cubes in while turning this hand crank on the side of the dog house to shred the ice cube. It took fifty ice cubes to get like, one cup of “flakes” and by the time you even GOT to that point, the first ice cube flakes melted. So you just kept cranking the damn handle until you had blisters and a cup of water. I think my mom bought it to make me crazy. I hated that stupid Snoopy snow cone maker. More like a glorified water fountain. ~ Jessica
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Truly, you are awesome. A snow cone machine in the bedroom? …is it right next to the popcorn machine? Because that’s where I would put mine, if I were a rap star.
Woman with Kids´s last blog ..Duck violence
Poor, poor Victor. I sympathize with you dude.
DO NOT BUY SNOW CONE MACHINES
I’m confused. Should I be boycotting electricity? Or ice? Or woodchucks? Help.
Erica´s last blog ..Gag Me with a Plastic Spoon
Uh, quote of the DAY! Potentially better than all the lame-guy quotes of the day today
“Don’t be ridiculous. If I was doing this on purpose I’d break something I don’t actually need. Like the oven.”
Amen, sista. I mean, sister. I mean…
Blondie´s last blog ..blondemonde: @designmom – Congratulations on NUMBER 6! I love the pic on the blog with the kidlets running around
I hate how you can never find the syrup about 5 minutes after you buy the machine then all you have is shaved icecubes which are boring. Victor needs a superhero GFI man costume then he will be distracted too.
habanerogal´s last blog ..It’s been a month now
I somehow thought that this story would lead up to a story about trampolines. I am very misguided that way.
Keyona´s last blog ..Timing Is Everything
i think you need to take the boycott to twitter. just out of curiosity, is it a snoopy snow cone maker? because i feel that’s the only REAL snow cone maker out there.
I actually do have a snoopy snow cone maker but no, this is a super industrial snow cone maker. It kicks Snoopy’s ass and you don’t end up with bloody knuckles like you do with the Snoopy version. Except the Snoopy snow cone maker is way cooler looking so design-wise I guess it wins.
I hope you had fun with the snow cone machine while it was in the bedroom at least.
OpinionatedGift´s last blog ..Connec_tion
But if you called for a boycott, then another snowcone machine company would offer you one of THEIRS, and you could donate it to a homeless shelter. You’re being very selfish here.
Keely´s last blog ..A pox! A pestilence! A lack of Raaaaiiiiid!
I sympathize. I am rarely allowed to touch anything that plugs into the wall, as I’m likely to break it and then “fix” it in inappropriate and not terribly helpful ways. Over the weekend T asked me to pick up some cord thing at the Apple Store since I was going downtown anyway, but instead of trying to tell me what to get she emailed me and told me to just hand my iPhone to someone at the store and tell them I needed them to make me buy what was in the email. It is the high-tech version of having a note pinned to my shirt.
Annabelle´s last blog ..Swallowing Sharp Objects Never Sounded So Good
i thought everyone had a snow cone machine in their bedroom. mine is right next to my smoothie maker and Margaritaville from Sur La Table with the salsa container.
i just saw the snoopy snow cone maker in the backtobasics toy catalog, apparently its a classic toy. i loved mine, maybe i need to get me one and put it in the bedroom next to the vibrators
dina´s last blog ..I am A Glassblower
There’s a snoopy snow cone maker??? DUDE, how did I not know about this?????
OnStar: “This is OnStar, we have detected a crash of your snow cone machine. Is everything okay? Do I need to contact emergency services?”
Frightened Customer: “Help me, I need a snow cone NOW!”
OnStar: “I’m sending a signal to reset your snow cone machine.”
Happy Costumer: “YAY, you fixed it! I love you OnStar!”
OnStar: “You have a nice day now, and don’t stick that knife in the snow cone machine anymore… yeah, it tells us that shit, too.”
—That’s the power of OnStar—
This is AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!! I wish my husband and I had conversations like this
Victor: No, dumb-ass. I mean, it’s not good news that none of the outlets in the kitchen work. Is the refrigerator running?
Me: I’m not falling for that.
Well played.
I used to have a pasta machine that made fresh pasta. I’m not sure why I had it because I’m pretty certain pasta was always available in bags at the store.
i had never thought before about demonstrating dangerous incompetency to prevent the boyfriend from never leaving me alone.
so thank you.
although i’ll have to ensure it’s not on too grand of a scale or else i might have child services at my door.
and even though i can be overly stupid and often codependent i don’t want to lose my kids…just force the boyfriend to never go away.
is that twisted?
no, i don’t think so either.
it’s just love.
andrea:)
andrea´s last blog ..every girl should have a happy box of her very own. but i don’t recommend allowing ghetto access because then you’d have to stop wearing your bra and start smoking roll-your-own ciggy’s.
Jenny. Can I grow up to be you? I mean, I cannot currently make a post on my blog because Clay is sorta-kinda-ish in the middle of using the post I made last week as a jumping off point for helping me (o.o) but, YOU HAVE A SNOW CONE MACHINE IN YOUR BEDROOM. I want to move in. wait… no, victor is a republican and I don’t deal well with republicans so I can’t grow up to be you. crap. also that would mean no Jaymie. …I should have thought this through. That’s okay though, because in a couple years I’m going to have a BALL-PIT in my guest bedroom, last.fm style: http://blog.last.fm/2007/12/21/blogging-from-the-ballpit
SO I WIN! … I really should have thought this comment through before posting it. Because now I look stupid. sigh.
patientes´s last blog ..I Answer To No One and Am Made Nobody’s Heir
We have a cheap-ass snow cone machine. We hardly ever make snow cones because my son sucked half the syrup out of the bottle and used the other half to dye a cup full of his pee blue.
Those GFCI things usually only trip when an appliance gets wet or something. You didn’t try to thaw pork chops in the toaster, did you?
Steve´s last blog ..#86 Distance Over Time
Now all your bedroom needs is a deep fat fryer, one of those cotton candy blowy things, and a Tilt-a-Whirl. And I’m pretty sure most Tilt-a-Whirls require nothing more in the way of maintenance than the occasional judicious application of two bent knives.
pjwaldron´s last blog ..Uriah Q. Muttonchop on Advancements & Breakthroughs in the Great Scientific Endeavor
Seriously – I am not quite sure how I got through meetings before I found your site. But thank you. I am not sure if my company thanks you (they are becoming suspicious of the random outbursts of laughter during meetings), but I certainly do.
Another Hot Mess´s last blog ..It’s National Hobbit Day which is awesome because Samwise is my boss.
my snowcone machine looked like a snowman. i am OLD.
The same thing totally happened to me except our apartment is shit and the building is like 50 years old so it has only those old kind of fuses that are impossible to locate in a hardware store so when I blew several fuses trying to get the wine chiller to work in the living room, I had to move the Christmas tree into the kitchen, which was pretty awesome except that we were without power in half of our apartment for about two months because, like I said, you can’t get those fucking ancient fuses anywhere . So I left the Christmas tree up for six months to make up for it, and also to bring joy into our decrepit little home.
emvandee´s last blog ..My First Pavlova.
I learned through that whole experience that Nick hates me and Christmas.
emvandee´s last blog ..My First Pavlova.
I feel like Victor should have a hotline number we can all call whenever we get lost or something breaks. He wouldn’t even have to answer, he could just pre-record a bunch of sayings like, “No dumb-ass, that’s not a good idea” and, “Are you sure you unplugged it before you stuck the knife in,” and, “How are you lost again?!”. I, for one, would totally call that number.
Did you use your rattlesnake pelts to fund the purchase of your snow cone machine? Just wondering. Snow cones are tasty treats though. Oh and Victor is a hoot “why are there two bent knives?”…dude you crack me up!
Jenn´s last blog ..Vomit Sunday
Two knifes is better then 1 right? Where did you go wrong.
Hahahah. That was great. I still will not be buying a snow cone machine though.
Krista B´s last blog ..Long time no talk
I had this Snoopy snow cone machine as a kid…you stuck ice cubes in the roof and then pushed on Snoopy’s ass to hold the ice cubes in while turning this hand crank o n the side of the dog house to shred the ice cube.
It took fifty ice cubes to get like, one cup of “flakes” and by the time you even GOT to that point, the first ice cube flakes melted. So you just kept cranking the damn handle until you had blisters and a cup of water.
I think my mom bought it to make me crazy. I hated that stupid Snoopy snow cone maker. Stupid. More like a glorified water fountain.
Jessica´s last blog ..halloween is in october, people. october!
This post makes me very happy.
-R-´s last blog ..Fashion Faux Pas
You are my personal Lord and Savior.
I used to work at one of those snow cone places, Tropical Sno, when I was 14 or so. I remember that when I went from 13 to 14, I got a raise. I made, like $400 a month selling fifty cent sno cones. You’d be surprised. I used to mix all the different syrups to make sno cone awesomeness. The best one was Apricot, Lime, and Pineapple syrups. It looked like nasty boogers, but I just closed my eyes when I ate it.
At one point during that job, I felt like I was getting fat, what with all the free sno cones I was allowed to eat. So I cut myself down to 1 sno cone a day. And did nothing else. And in a month, I’d lost freaking 20 lbs. Ah, the metabolism of youth. I miss it. And so does my waistline, which has been on a long journey of self discovery, trying to find itself after the metabolism of youth abandoned it. Bitch.
Andrea´s last blog ..She Gets Me
i know this is a question only a dumb-ass would ask, but here goes: did you at least unplug the thing before you tried knifing it back to life? if so, kudos on your safety protocol. if not, please refrain from attempting any further electrical repairs. and abandon the idea of mixing margaritas in the bathtub. uh-uh, no buts!
you are hilarious. victor is a very patient human being. either that or he’s got a killer xanax prescription.
What is this SNOW CONE that you speak of?
ittybittycrazy´s last blog ..He Said She Said – What’s mine is yours
That. Was. AWESOME.
I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time, sad I know.
Jackie´s last blog ..Blast from the Past
I have you RSS feed that I enjoy reading…just wondering why you don’t send out the short feed thus forcing people to your page & creating the potential to increase your adverstising revenue/site visits. I would think it would kind of suck if you did that since I’d have to visit this page to read it and it is just a matter of time until my company bans your website. However, you need to start saving money for things like wheelchair ramps and trained monkeys to comb your hair when your RA kicks into high gear in a few years. Maybe your are selling your snow cones to fill up your rainy day fund but I was just wondering
What were you doing with the blender in the bedroom too?
Jenny, you are either completely insane or all of the rest of us are. I think it’s the latter.
NutellaonToast´s last blog ..Ready To Go Again, Already?
Did you take out the trampoline from your bedroom? Is it really worth replacing the one I have with a snow cone machine?
Dang. Now I have the Snoopy Snow Cone song in my head. Is it still the same as when we were kids? The only part of it I remember is:
“Cuz it’s made with the Snoopy SNOW! CONE! MACHINE!”
Nicola Proctor´s last blog ..Snip Snip Cher-eeeeeeee
This is akin to having a telephone in your bathroom but not as shitty for your friends, I think.
Shitty. Ha.
shine´s last blog ..Drugs, I haz them.
If I come visit you, will you make me a snow cone? Also, are these like, the name brand Sno-Cones, or are they generic? Is Victor trying to distract you with some generic big brand FROSTY DESSERT MAKER?
Miss Grace´s last blog ..So I got into a bit of an argument with a friend of mine last night….
I don’t really want a snow cone machine, but just a really beautiful man to make me snow cones whenever, wherever I have the need of one. He would need to have a snowcone machine, but not a terribly huge one because he’d need to lug it around and always have it at the ready. So a small, efficient snow cone machine.
Katie´s last blog ..Jesus hates fossil coral
I would seriously sit in bed and eat snow cones all day (As opposed to, sit in bed all day. Joking…kinda). I think you should also put an ice maker in your room. It’s too hard to run back and forth between the bedroom and the kitchen.
Brooke´s last blog ..It’s in the Bag
I once tried to make a solar powered ic cone maker once, cause what’s better on a hot day, right…my ice kept melting…so I gave up.
Bryan´s last blog ..Yom Kippur… or just one more thing I don’t know about.
I have never wanted into your bedroom more than I do right now. Before you call your lawyer you should note that I said *never more than right now* which technically could have been zero, but is now something infinitesimally more than zero, so that’s a correct statement and not creepy at all. It’s because of the snow cones!
So, um. Tell Julia I said ‘hi’!
harmzie´s last blog ..Paring
I bow to you Queen Kickass of Houston
Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..LMFAO Friday ~ Swine Flu Edition
Wait a minute, you’re telling me that I could have my very own snow cone machine? And that instead of waiting for the crappy annual summer festivals to start just so I can shell out $4 per cone, I could make my very own snow cones daily – and IN MY BEDROOM??
Why the hell am I wasting time in class? I should be at home, eating delicious snow cones in my bed while watching ‘Color Splash’ on HGTV!!
(Not that your blog is a waste of time, because I am in love with it and it keeps me from eating a pencil in boredom.) (Also, I know what I’m doing after class – and I better be able to buy a snow cone maker in this crappy town, or I swear heads will roll.)
C’mon. It’s quite possible to eat snow cones while employing the stripper poles simultaneously. Don’t ask; just believe.
always home and uncool´s last blog ..Can’t Spell ‘Diet’ Without It
You have a snow cone machine that you can operate with your foot?
I hate to break this to you, but I think you actually own a badly broken sewing machine.
Might not want to eat that shit.
moooooog35´s last blog ..Back in the Saddle…but Now I Have a Heating Pad
So what you have is like the Margaritaville margarita maker for Snowcone machines? Dude, you are living the high life. Yeah, I’d think the rappers would be all jealous if you make Cristal champagne flavored snowcones, and if you invite some of them, they may be really excited and decide to gift you a stripper pole. You should tell Victor this plan. I think he’d like it.
submom´s last blog ..Herald to Halloween? Walnut that looks like Jack Skellington
I think your Victor and my Brent should get together and compare notes. You know, they could form a support group or something.
I typically fuck something up on a weekly basis around here. I save the really bad expensive things for when he’s out of town on business because that’s just how I roll. Then we get to sit on the phone for 3 hours trying to figure out how to fix it, and who to call.
Sno-cone machine in the bedroom, huh? Kinky!
Candice´s last blog ..Reason number 1,302 why your patients should ALWAYS have their call bell in reach.
A freakin foot pedal? Are the sewing machine people moonlighting as snow cone machine designers?
I think Victor was amazing for resetting the GFCI, because he didn’t use a knife and did not electrocute himself or any other member of the household. Because, um, somehow I think you + pushing a button to reset electricity = catastrophe of biblical proportions.
a´s last blog ..Travels
A snow cone machine in the bedroom is just genius. Next you should move your microwave into your bathroom, next to the toilet of course. Then move your coffee maker to the shed and the waffle iron into the attic. To balance it all out, you should move your alarm clock to the kitchen, so it doesn’t feel like its being abandoned.
LB @Wait, She Said What?´s last blog ..Moronic Monday – The Wii is more powerful then drugs.
Oh – I forgot to add: No, I don’t read the thirty-billion comments before I post my own. I like to keep my own little comment idea mine…and if I don’t read anyone else’s, then technically I didn’t copy. They just said it first.
AND I’m not allowed to reset GFCI’s anymore. The last time I did it resulted in a $200 electrician bill. I tried to keep telling Tim (the husband) that I didn’t DO anything…he wasn’t buying it.
Jessica´s last blog ..halloween is in october, people. october!
If ever you want your husband to fix something, like the clothes dryer, and he’s either procrastinating, or blowing you off (or both!) just say, “That’s ok honey, I’ll take care of it myself”. Then grab yourself a butter knife like you’re gonna go take the dryer apart with it. Believe me, he will suddenly become motivated to fix the dryer before you can damage it any further! (and, by the way, I HAVE taken an entire dryer apart with a butter knife. Putting it back together…umm…not so good.)
Leah´s last blog ..A boobie kind of blog
Oh, by the way, the icecream maker is way cool. However, I’m not so good at making up my own flavors. Yeah, lots of bad icecream batches here. It’s still cool though.
Leah´s last blog ..A boobie kind of blog
Wanna help me write my psychology paper? Seriously, I have to write like I’m the psychologist, talking to a patient about time management. (notice I’m supposed to be writing it NOW, but instead I’m HERE writing my 3rd comment in a row!) Anyway, wanna be my patient? It would be SO FUN! Bet I’d get an A, which would be great cuz it’s hard to go back to school at 42 years old and have all these kids in class that don’t know who Mork is, and they all have damaged thumbs from years of video games and texting. And they’ve never heard of a station wagon! Can you believe that? They grew up riding in car seats until they were 40 pounds, where I grew up riding on my mom’s lap in the front seat, or napping in the back window of my dad’s car, OR…all of us playing card games together in the back of the….gasp…STATION WAGON! So…wanna be my patient?
Leah´s last blog ..A boobie kind of blog
I just recently found my old snoopy snow cone maker (I will not use the word machine here, it was cool, but not THAT cool.) I loved that thing.
I’m thinking the foot pedal is for people with no arms. Why should they have to do without snow cones just because they have no arms?
So I read it like “It’s sexhausting making snow cones” and I was like whoa what the hell are they doing with snow cones, then I thought about it and it sounded kinda hot, then I realized you didn’t mean it that way at all. But it could be hot, or rather cold, but still fun.
Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..*UPDATED* I do not feel old enough to have been to a high school reunion
That’s so cool that you have a snow cone machine!! Even if it doesn’t always work!!
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..What’s in your mouth?
Oh, and you should totally make the lotto people put this info in the disclaimer so that people who win the lotto don’t think they’re the shit until they have the good sense to get a snow-cone machine for the bedroom.
Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..It Doesn’t Pay To Be Dying From Swine Flu In This House
Do you have any idea how many hair dryers I threw away before I figured out I could push that button? Damn…
The Undomesticated Housewife´s last blog ..I’m Hilarious…
I feel like a total loser. I’ve never had a snowcone maker! All I got was that stupid easy back oven as a kid. It was stooopid. Now I know why I have all these problems as an adult. pft.
peedee´s last blog ..She’s my sistah!!
Easy BAKE oven. farkin cant even spell. prolly cause I never got a snowcone maker…
peedee´s last blog ..She’s my sistah!!
There is no better snow cone maker than the incredible Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine. You’re full of shit, Jenny, Bloggess.
BHJ´s last blog ..I Highly Doubt Copernicus Was A Cheerful Pussy Who Needed A Hug
They make electric snow cone machines now? WTF? I’m still hand-cranking the Snoopy one over and over again and hardly anything comes out and all it does is leave me palms red and sore. Why does that sound dirty?
Undomestic Diva´s last blog ..A letter to the Wearers of Clothes in this house
I love snow cones and want to put them on my pee-pee.
And I’m glad that you didn’t put the knife in one of the electrical sockets.
Like I do with my pee-pee.
Hercules Charnas´s last blog ..Spanking Monday
The only good thing about being in the hospital is the crushed ice they give you so you won’t throw up. If everyone had a snow cone machine at home, it would help solve the health crisis we have right now, because less people would go to the hospital for crushed ice and just make it at home. Except insurance companies probably wouldn’t pay for them so there still is a crisis and it’s all AIG’s fault. That last part is probably more true than I meant it to be.
Barbara´s last blog ..Duh
At some point there is going to be a book of all of these. Or another one, if there is one already. And one of these books is going to become an Audiobook. I pray that you get to read your own entries, because then everyone can hear you in their heads, when they read these entries, like I do.
JennyVoice ™ is Awesome.
Oh cool! A snow cone machine, that is so cool. We’ve never had that – we did have a candy floss machine that we used one evening, thought we’d clean it the next morning because it was kinda late and we were so not in the mood for doing dishes that night (we didn’t have a dishwasher, but we did have a candy floss machine). We woke up to probably 50 bees in our kitchen the next morning who all came to try out the sugar that was still left in the candy floss machine from the night before – yikes!!!
Lea White´s last blog ..First hospital visit after end of treatment
That’s actually a really good idea. Our fridge doesn’t have an ice machine either and, because I spend the day distracted by the internet instead of writing my book and articles and such, we may never be able to afford a good fridge. Hmm. I *could* always focus and work, but a snow cone machine sounds much cooler and more realistic.
Jessica´s last blog ..The Top Ten People That Suck at the Grocery Store
And this is exactly why I’ll be sad to move out of this forsaken hick town in a couple weeks. It has a snow cone RESTAURANT with 40 different flavors. Oh, the endless possibilities.
Oh, and I’ve been asking for a snow cone maker for a couple years for Christmas, and still don’t have one. I think my husband is afraid I’ll love it more than him!
A snow cone machine in the bedroom is an AWESOME idea! Think about it… In the middle of the night, you wake up and think, “Hmmmm… I’d like a cherry snow cone.” Voila, there it is! You’re a genius. Truly.
After reading this I started getting all depressed because I’m not one of the cool kids who owns a snow cone machine. But then I remembered that I live in Canada and it’s actually supposed to snow this week so I’m in luck. I can get the real thing, straight from the sky with all that yummy pollution. Awesome/Not so awesome because it’s going to be effin’ cold here in no time and that sucks because you don’t want to eat snow cones when you have hypothermia.
AmyBloob´s last blog ..Mama’s Night Out
Oh my lord. if I were forced to move a snow cone machine – or any kitchen appliance – into my bedroom, we would be in big trouble because as I sit here now and look around, every single flat surface is covered in STUFF. Clutter. Shit that needs to be put away. Or thrown away. Either. So yeah. I’m a bad-ass too!
Meg´s last blog ..Flashback Friday: Second Grade
Of course you own a snocone machine. Of course it is in your bedroom. I defy you to surprise me. Impossible.
Lindsay´s last blog ..The Show
You mean if you show incompetence Child Services will take the kids? Will they keep them for a whole weekend?
I would really like that Margaritaville machine in my bedroom. I don’t remember when I laughed so hard — not only is the post funny — half the comments were hysterical. And thanks to Judd – I finally got the trampoline reference.
Maybe if I’d had a snoopy snowcone machine as a kid instead of wonder woman underoos I’d have turned better.
Yes, as if…
Legs´s last blog ..Youtube’s Greatest Hits in 4 Minutes
I used to have a Snoopy Snow Cone machine. You had to grind the ice yourself and then pour juice into the ice cup. Pretty lame but easy to make snow cones in bed since its not electrical!
Kirsten´s last blog ..Meow Meow
I know, right? What’s with husbands wanting to the hero and everything? So not fair.
3 Stinky Boys and Me´s last blog ..Triken Reichen
So besides the rock star quality of a bedroom snow cone machine, let’s also consider all the fun bedtime games to be had with yummy ice treats. Methinks that snow cone machine in the bedroom is good for more than just making you super amazing awesome. Think about it, explore it. Victor will totally love it and then when you need to distract him then you can all be like, “Oh Victor, let’s go have snooow cooones” in a really suggestive voice and he will totally forget about the next thing in the house you break.
And don’t worry, you are like the 12th person who has said that logging into my blog is like ridiculously complicated. I guess only the really really really devoted followers can make it through. Keep trying, I’d love to have you follow it. Thanks!
Jeniel´s last blog ..One Lovely Blog Award!!
OK, I snorted diet pepsi all over myself when I read you were going to get on twitter and tell everyone to boycott snow cone machines. Snort! Snort!
Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog ..Spanderella
I wish I had a snow cone machine in my bedroom. It’s so sweltering hot here that all I would do all day was eat snow cones in the buff right after I bathe in them. But then my kids would probably destroy my snow cone machine in less than a day and nobody would care even if I called for a boycott.
Daphne´s last blog ..part-two_0
LMAO.
In our house, there would be cat hair in the snow cone machine. And the ice cubes.
TheExpatresse´s last blog ..In Which I Am a Stalker
In fact, I would love to have a snow cone machine in my bedroom.It could be better used in Bedroom rather than kitchen.
Alright I almost spit coffee all over my computer at the thought of a snow cone machine boycott. And the best snow cone machine ever is The Peanuts snow cone machine, circa 80-something or other. Best.ever.
beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..10 Easy Ways to Save Money
I’m holding out for a Slurpee machine. And not the one you can get at Target. A real life 7-11 Slurpee machine. I don’t care if I do have wall ALL THE WAY DOWNSTAIRS to get to the kitchen.
Sno Cones are for amateurs. When you get a Shave Ice maker AND a Sit and Spin in your bedroom, call me. Or blog it! Don’t forget the marshmallow cream! For the shave ice! Uh yeah.
As excited as I get to see you post a new, well, POST? When I see Victor is in it? I rub my hands with glee. I actually “read” your conversations in my head with seperate, individual voices. YOUR voice is all high and silly. Victor’s voice is all calm and “what the hell did she do now”? Thank you for allowing me to be so entertained.
PS: I just heard you (in your voice, but in my head) say “Damn, this girl needs some meds!” I *AM* medicated.
Martie´s last blog ..These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things And A few I Detest…
Wait, wait, wait.
You don’t have a pole in your bedroom?!
Akilah Sakai´s last blog ..Wedding Test
I’m pretty sure I have had this EXACT same conversation with MY husband- Which is scary. Or awesome.(except it was a coffeepot that can psychically predict when you are going to want coffee and yet can’t tell me why it’s broken.)
Pando´s last blog ..Discipline: Can you Believe she Wrote that Spanking Post?
The snow cone machine is still in our bedroom, isn’t it? Don’t lie either.
dubiousMa´s last blog ..Don’t Buy the Hindu’s Candy
Awesome. The appliances in my bedroom don’t need to plug in; they’re more battery operated.
And you should have called me. I could have described how to push a button. Yah, I know. I am so helpful.
But, now that that problem is fixed, no thanks to me, I can show you how to carve your face on a pumpkin. Except it always turns out a bit scary. Good thing it’s almost October.
Wendy´s last blog ..How to Clean Vintage Pyrex
I had that snoopy sno cone maker, too. You wouldn’t want that in your bedroom. Yours sounds awesome, though!
TexasRed´s last blog ..Teaser Tuesday – The Rustlers of West Fork
Jenny, AKA The Bloggess,
I love you more than french fries, and chai.
“You put the ice cubes in and get the snow cones out. Fun Fun fun is what it’s all about!” If only one other person has that song in their head now, my work is done here. You’re singing it right now, aren’t you?Diggety.
MayoPie´s last blog ..If you’re easily offended, you should definitely read this.
I give you credit. I would have fell for the refrigerator joke.
Momish´s last blog ..The Time Traveler’s Wish
Here’s how I know I’m successful: We have a milkshake machine. Basically, you dump ice cream in the big metal cup, then add milk. Then you hit the ‘on’ button and a magic wand comes down and stirs it all up for you. Not having to stir your own milkshake is, like, the epitome of success.
mommica´s last blog ..Weekend List: Things I bought this weekend that I shouldn’t have
My boyfriend’s been trying to convince me for months to put a mini fridge in next to the couch.
YOU KNOW, FIFTEEN FEET FROM THE KITCHEN, WHERE WE HAVE AN ENTIRE REFRIGERATOR.
Basically, what I’m saying is that you guys are probably made for each other.
LiLu´s last blog ..140 Character Peeks Into the Crazy That Is Me
I wonder as the 105th poster whether you actually will ever read my comment but even if it’s just talking to no one, I’m still going to post… (can you tell I need someone to talk to?) Anywho, the good news is that I’m having a terrible day and this made me laugh out loud, like really belly-laugh just imagining all of this happening. I think I’m moving my bread maker to the bedroom just for the hell of it. The bad news is that my 4yo is sitting with me as I laugh and it took me far too long to explain to her why I was laughing, why it was ok for you to stick a knife in something and why we don’t need a snow cone maker. Thanks for all of that.
becca´s last blog ..Dreaming of prison
I totally read all the comments. I’m obsessive that way. It’s not healthy.
LOL, Becca, I totally forgot what I was going to say after scrolling through all the comments.
Cool post though, no pun intended.
Gabrielle Valentine´s last blog ..Delving Into Unchartered Waters: Our Marriage
I love your site! I am so glad I found it. huge fan!
Harlem´s last blog ..Hatin on Fame
I so don’t know what you are going to use to flavor it.
Ken´s last blog ..Hello, Secret Service? I Want to Report the Internet!
I had that same crappy Snoopy snow cone maker! I saw one in a store about a year ago and freaked and bought it for my kids. Once we started using it I remembered how the cute picture of Snoopy soon turns into a mocking look of triumph as Snoopy watches knowingly while you struggle to create the tiniest of cones from every ice cube in the house.
LS´s last blog ..It’s Better Than Having Too Much Time and Too Little Work
I tried making shaved ice once but it tasted all soapy. Maybe I need one of those machines.
I’m a little worried, cause the blogs are sounding more and more like my girlfriend. Both live in Texas, and we’ve had convos just like this all the time. So either it’s a Texas thing, my girlfriend has a secret site and calls me Victor, or it’s just a strange similarity between the two. No matter what, I get a feeling I’m going to get stabbed now.
Leave the snowcones to the professionals.
Jennifer A´s last blog ..Sometimes, love cannot conquer all
Oh god I just spent 5 minutes laughing my ass off at this. SO glad I stumbled upon this blog.
Jessica @ How Sweet It Is´s last blog ..Chicken Marsala Sans Mushrooms.
We have a snow cone maker too but we’re losers because we use ours in the kitchen. I never knew considered the snow cone/bedroom possibility until now. My world is exploding in rainbow syrup stars.
Vikki´s last blog ..Building a Mystery
Victor broke the Snow Cone Machine.
Zoey´s last blog ..Behold My Trophy
Just remember one thing: no matter what anybody tells you, Don’t Eat the Yellow Sno-Cones!
~EdT.
EdT.´s last blog ..Top Chef 6: Of Angels, Devils, and De-construction
If Victor really loved you, he’d totally be scraping ice with a blunt butter knife to make you a snow cone.
Just saying.
Yessss. I haven’t heard the “Is your refrigerator running? Go catch it!” joke since elementary school. Thanks for being so wonderfully immature; I LOVE it! You’re totally keeping it in the bedroom right? I’m jealous…
Hello, Bloggess. I must say I am thoroughly enjoying your blog. I learned about it on copyblogger or problogger the other day in one of his articles. I think I have a new hero.
I am sure you will be reading from me again. Unless you can/want to block me or something.
http://tayappention.net to see if I am worth knowing.
Cheers.
Seriously now… I have a heart condition and you almost killed me with this post. I sat here laughing my ass off until I my heart started beating too fast and I actually fainted a little. And then I calmed down and then laughed because I’d almost died laughing. I might have peed a little too. I don’t know yet because I’m too busy commenting on your blog to go check.
Sabrina Mars´s last blog ..How to Find Friends Who Aren’t Drunks
Once the outlets all broke in my bedroom and I had to use the vibrator in the kitchen. *THAT’S* when you know you made it. Or maybe not “made it”, but hell, you’re having an orgasm so who the fuck cares?
OMG – I totally just laughed my booty off (if only that were possible!!!!).
I love you.
“That’s how you know we’re successful.”
Amy´s last blog ..The Moment My Modeling Career was Shattered
We have a ice maker in our fridge! I am so making snow cones tonight.
Dani´s last blog ..Crime Watch Wednesday: Perhaps Not a Professional BMX Rider…
Go for the gusto! Get a snow cone machine for every room in your house.
Angela Moore´s last blog ..4 Things I Should be Able to Schedule
“Snow cone machine in the bedroom” – is that like code for something naughty? Was this whole post a metaphor that I’m not getting? FUUUUUUUCK!
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Open Letter 12
Too funny! My first time visiting your blog, and I wasn’t disappointed! Hope the snow-cone machine holds out!
Krissy´s last blog ..It’s Only Rock and Roll But I Like It
Ahaha the part about the refrigerator running made me laugh out loud at work.
Shayla´s last blog ..twenty-six